Human
With a triumphant whoop, Cress spun away from her screen. "I win again!"
Cinder groaned. "What is it this time?"
"Second-era musical archives." Cress stood from her chair, looking uncharacteristically smug. "Mostly from the early 21st century."
Thorne laughed from his position at one of the other screens. "Well, we knew you would win. It's not like you had seven years of practice, or anything. How were we supposed to make second-era music compatible with modern technology?" He turned to Cinder with a devilish grin. "Though you're supposed to be good with this stuff, aren't you?"
"I'm a mechanic, not a hacker!"
Cress stretched her neck to either side, working out a few cricks before relaxing. "I think it's time for a break."
"Right you are," said Thorne. "Let's go see if there are any more spicy noodles."
When the two of them had left, Cinder drifted over to Cress's screen. Album covers covered the window, artist names helpfully displayed beneath them. Unable to smother a spike of curiosity, Cinder sat down and began scrolling through, wondering what the histories were behind each song, wondering how different they might be from third-era music.
One cover in particular caught her eye. Cinder squinted, making out the album title HEAD OR HEART before tapping it, opening the track list. A row of songs filled the screen.
TRUST
BURNING GOLD
BE MY FOREVER
HUMAN
Upon reading that last one, Cinder stopped. Human.
She tapped the song, opening an audio file.
A rich female voice echoed through the screen's hidden speakers. It was slow and tired at first, but then –
I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human, and I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up, and then I fall apart
Cinder pressed a hand to her mouth. Her vision should have been blurring. She should have felt salty dampness on her cheeks. But it wasn't, and she didn't.
It hit a little too close to home.
Kai found her in front of the screen where Thorne and Cress had left her, curled up in the chair with her arms wrapped around her legs. She raised her head when he came in, and Kai guessed that Cinder had been about to say "I'm fine," but evidently changed her mind.
"Hey." He took a seat. "Are you okay?"
Instead of answering, she tapped the screen to play a song. Kai's eyes widened when he registered the words, and he suddenly understood why she looked so … stricken.
When the last mournful note faded, she cleared her throat. "Cress hacked into the American Republic's second-era music archives."
"It's beautiful."
Cinder turned away. "Yeah. It is."
Kai cursed inwardly. He had spoken without thinking. This song would only remind her of her own painful experiences, in its words and in its soulful misery. "Cinder –"
"I never thanked you, have I?" She spun back around to face him, lowering her feet to the floor. "For ending the cyborg draft."
Kai blinked. "You – what? Oh. You don't have to thank me."
"But I do. It was the first step in establishing equality between cyborgs and humans – valuing all human life, like you said."
He looked down at his folded hands. "I turned a blind eye for too long. Before meeting you, I thought nothing more of it than the next person. So … really, I should be the one thanking you. You opened my eyes to what was really happening in the Commonwealth. I was the prince – the emperor – and I didn't even know …" He trailed off, unable to finish.
A corner of Cinder's mouth quirked into a wry smile. "I guess we can both consider ourselves harbingers of change, then."
"Good thing we're going to be monarchs."
She chuckled.
"Cinder?"
"Yes?"
Kai hesitated, unsure how to phrase the question. It had been on his mind for a while, but the moment hadn't ever been right. "Your guardian … what was it like to live with her?"
Cinder levelled her gaze at him; she knew what he was really asking. Her eyes filled with sadness. "It wasn't good."
"How so?"
Cinder removed a small wrench from here pocket and began twirling it over her fingers. "I was basically her servant," she said, voice catching on the word servant. "When I was eleven I found that I had a knack for fixing things, and that became my job. According to the Cyborg Protection Act, I belonged to her. And she treated me accordingly. Like property."
Kai shut his eyes. He'd had no idea. She'd gone through so much, and still she came out strong, still she refused to give up.
"She taunted me for not being able to cry," Cinder went on, and stopped the wrench in midair, clutching it in both hands. Her voice took on a steely tone. "For not being human."
Still she continued to surprise him.
"You are human," he said. "You know that."
She finally looked up at him as he reached over took her metal hand in both of his, rubbing the titanium knuckles. Was it his imagination, or did her breathing hiccup?
"I know," she murmured.
"You can 'bleed when you fall down', you know. No one would blame you; it's only natural."
Cinder laughed and brought up her other hand to cup their entwined fingers, warmth returning to her voice. "I know. I can 'crash and break down', too. Literally."
"If it's the last thing I do, Cinder, I'll see cyborg equality to the end." It was out before Kai knew he would say it, but once he did, he knew that it was the truth. "I'll nullify the Cyborg Protection Act, start unraveling the prejudice."
She stilled, and something he couldn't identify sparked in her eyes. Their intensity startled and thrilled him.
"Did you do it for me, Kai?" she said softly. "Did you stop the draft for me?"
"You were my inspiration," he whispered.
Cinder looked like she was about to say something, but a shout – "Cinder!" rang through the Rampion.
They exchanged a glance.
"Want me to tell them you're taking a nap?" he asked.
Cinder grinned, and for a moment, it made her glow. But it wasn't a glamour. It wasn't an illusion. It was just her.
"Thanks," she said, and retracted her hands. She curled up in the chair again, in a comfortable sleeping position, and closed her eyes. A smile played around her lips, distracting him for a moment before he stood and left.
As Kai was walking out the door, he thought he heard music – a few notes, whispered lyrics.
"You build me up and then I fall apart …"
Kai turned back, stunned to hear Cinder actually singing, but the words had already evaporated. She had turned to face the screen so that he couldn't see her face and, with quiet enveloping the control room again, he decided that he must have imagined it.