Cedward Cuggory

Rating: K+

Category: Twilight/Harry Potter

Summary: Have you ever wondered who Edward Cullen was beforehand? Edward "Mason" never existed. It was Cedric Diggory.

Warning: It's like a crackfic but funny.

Quote of the day: "No, you can't pet my squirrel!"

Playlist: Castaway by Green Day

–

Once upon a time there was a young wizard of seventeen. His name was Cedric Diggory. He attended Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry. He was in the Hufflepuff house. He had a lot of friends, for he was a handsome, kind, selfless boy.
He had a girlfriend by the name of Cho Chang. His friend Harry Potter had had a bit of a crush on Cho (at the time).
One day Cedric decided he would put his name in the Goblet Of Fire, so he could compete in the Triwizard Tournament.

But, little did Cedric know that would be quite an eventful day of his...life.

–

Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory were transported to an unfamiliar place. Well, it was unfamiliar to Cedric, Harry had been there before.

"The cup was a portkey...," Cedric mumbled to himself. "Harry," he called, louder this time, "The cup was a portkey!"

"Cedric, we have to get out of here," Harry urged.

"What? Why?"

But he was answered by the crunch of dead leaves being stepped on at the entrance of the graveyard. At the entrance was Peter Pettigrew (otherwise known as "Wormtail") holding what appeared to be something wrapped up in a blanket.

The small, snarling, blanket-wrapped, deformed baby that was Voldemort screeched in a voice that was worse than fingernails on a blackboard, "Kill the spare!"

Wormtail whipped out his wand and pointed it at Cedric, shouting,"Avada Kadavra!"

There was a flash of green light and that was the end of Cedric as we knew him.

–

After the battle between the newly reformed Voldemort, and poor Harry Potter, Cedric Diggory was left dead in the cemetery.

But, the thing is Cedric wasn't dead, he was still very much alive.

He was just in pain. Unthinkable pain...

A young man in his twenties was strolling through the graveyard. He spotted Cedric lying on the ground writhing in pain.

A normal person wouldn't know what to think, but Carlisle Cullen was not normal by any means.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was a vampire, but he was a "vegetarian vampire."

A...what?!

A vampire that lives off of the blood of animals instead of humans.

Carlisle saw young Cedric lying on the ground, and reacted automatically, his super-awesome vampire instincts kicking in.

"OMG! A super hot guy like you can't die!" the doctor cried.

"Um," Cedric said uncertainly, as Carlisle attacked him.

The large tangled mass that was Carlisle and Cedric was unseen through the dust that had been stirred up, it was in a cloud around them and you could practically cut a knife through it.

Sounds like, "SKRAAASH," "PHOOOOMPH," "SNAP," and "ZAP!" emitted from the cloud.

Nothing could be seen except the things being thrown out of the pile.

Cedric's wand. "Oh, please! No more wands! You will read others minds! That's waaaay cooler."

Cedric's half-yellow half-black shirt. Traditional Hufflepuff colors. "No more of this funny, ugly shirt!"

"A little bit of red in your hair...," the doctor mused.

Carlisle jumped up from the pile, and looked at his masterpiece. "Ta-daa!" he exclaimed.

"Who is this strange doctor?" Cedric asked himself, as he watched Carlisle jump up and down, clapping his hands together.

"Excellent!" Carlisle hollered, "From now on you will be a cool vampire named Edward!"

"Edward?" Cedric asked.

"Cedric wasn't a cool name...just, forget about it!"

This new "Edward" was still confused, so Carlisle began to elaborate further into the situation.

"All the girls will love you! All the fangirls will squeal!"

–

"So, Edward," Bella began wrapping her arms around his neck, "How did you become a vampire?"

Edward glanced around the room nervously, "Uh, it's a long story Bella...You don't want to hear it...Believe me...," he trailed off.

–

Eek! It's over! Ha ha, that was just a fun little one shot I had the urge to do. How did you guys like my first crossover? Ah, I really liked it. As you all know I am a HUGE Twilight and Harry Potter junkie! Just a heads up to you guys I'm going to be doing a misc. story about St. Jimmy, The Jesus Of Suburbia, Whatsername, Maria, Christian, and Gloria. (Any decent Green Day fan knows who I'm talking about. Give me a heads up if you do!) So anyways, watch out for that.

And I know, I know, I'll get right to the point. I AM working on Stalker. I SWEAR I am! It's just...ugh, I don't want to bore you guys with my excuses. But, I wanted to let you guys know I am working on it, and it will (hopefully) be up soon.

Love, peace, and hair grease!

Bye!

(P.S. Sorry for that little Shane Dawson moment, it won't happen again! Okay, it probably will...Just don't call Shanaynay on me!)

(P.S.S. I forgot to tell all you guys to review! Sorry here we go, I'll do it now: "Review my sexy peoples! Review!" End scene.)