Disclaimer : Sadly I do NOT own Harry Potter

Note : This fic was inspired by the lovely song "Bellatrix´s Lament" by the Slythendors on youtube :)

"Pass m´the penc´l, ´ll add som´more lines !" Lucius demanded, as friendly, as a drunk could.
"N-noooo – hick - it´s myee turn…" Came Bellatrix´s slightly childish sounding reply, who too seemed to be under the heavy influence of alcohol.
"But it has been yur turn like f´r the last five minut´s; ever heard that´s sharing´s caring..?" The blond deatheater tried to persuade her.
"An whats´f I give a damn ? Besides..since when ar´we friends, Lu-…Luc- oh whatever…." The witch replied, grabbing a bottle lying nearby to inspect its content, and after coming to the conclusion that it was, what she´s been hoping for, gulping it down.
"Hey ! Just becuz we´re drunk, ain´t mean that´we ain´t having feelings !…r-right, Peter ?"
Malfoy said, trying to use Pettigrew as an ally in this fight of getting hold of this damn pencil.
"What – hick – ever you sssay, mate – hick…." Unfortunately it seemed for poor Lucius, that his "ally" already was too drunk, to really be a help of some sort.
"Oh forget it.." He grumbled, already having directed his attention to the sheet of paper lying in front of Bellatrix. He grabbed it, not without creasing it in the process.
"Lemme see.." Lucius exclaimed, as he tried really hard to read the tiny letters written there before him on the paper.
After awhile the drunken grin, he´d already worn a few hours ago when they´d started with this, reappeared on his face….
"Y´know..I really like tis ´art ´bout you being the master´s slave an such stuff…giv´s the whole thing a kinda kinky touch…"
"Y´DO realize that all deatheaters ar´technically his slaves, even´ya ?"
Lucius seemed to be slightly unhappy about this discovery.
"Well´then, let good ol´ me do s´mething ´bout it…Dr.M´lfoy will rescue our lil song…. just gotta add´a few lines," He self-evidently took the pencil from Bella and scribbled a few more sentences on the sheet "and there, it´s pretty kinky again."
"wanna see…accio s-sheet !" The paper floated smoothly through the air - although Bella was pawing the air with her wand and almost poked Lucius in the ear - right in Bellatrix´s hands. "Now…."
If sober it would have taken her a matter of seconds, but since she was drunk it took her a few moments to grasp what stood there…and freak out about it.
She stood up in a fast movement, just to fall down in the next second; alcohol and balance ain´t friends.
"Just wut ar´ ya ??! Nuts ??!" She screamed at Lucius from her bed of empty bottles.
The man just chuckled about it, and managed to still find another bottle of fire whiskey that was yet half-full.
"What, huh ? Ain´t you the one, who always h´s
wanted to have some fun with the Dark Lordo ? Or ain´t ya the Bella I kno´ ? Here, get y´rself another drink" He ended, pushing a bottle of beer in her hands. Bellatrix took it half grateful, half disinterested. One half of her was relieved to be able to do something to hide her blush, that had crept into her face, as Lucius had mentioned the Dark Lord, and the other one simply too drunk to still be really interested in the world and her surroundings.
"I..I ain´t sssaying that I´m not interested in doing something to Voldemort that even my husband would have to beg for at least a thousand years…." It didn´t seem to be necessary for the woman to actually describe what she planned on doing to their leader - if she and her master ever were by any chance locked into a room, a room which had by any chance also a king-sized bed…-….Malfoy and Peter seemed to have gotten a very good idea of their own what Bellatrix might do, and grinned ever so stupid and dreamily.
"…but still don´t cha think tis´s a bit TOO provocating ?..kinda sounds like some rap to me…"
"But that´s exactly da thing…it´s s´pos´d to be full o´ swear words an direct talk, something ev´rybody can understand an still h´s some kind of poetry-"
"So ´Oh Lord, I want to be fucked by you so badly´ is poetry in your eyes ??! Hell, who´d ya think Shakespeare wuz, Eminem´s little brother ???! "
"Heh, I do agree…ain´t my best work..but wut did´ya expect anyway ? A love song ??! I´ll just-"
"That´s it ! Gimme that pencil and together - with your direct talk, our ideas and my feelings - we shall create a song so wonderful and affectingly, that´ll throw Voldemort out of his bed and right into my room, where he´ll hold me in his slender and yet strong arms..together, he and I will swim in the ocean of luvin´, where ´ll ride on a wave, and yet another one, at every thrust he´ll do with his hip and-"
Apparently the witch had forgotten about her male companions till now, before she´d started to give in in her daydreams.
"Ok, guys….that sure wuz an image I didn´t want in my head…" The blonde stated.
"..but I guessss" He continued. " I got, what ya wanted t´ sssay…then let´s go back t´work !!"

A lot of empty bottles, arguments, and tons of sentence suggestions later the man, woman and rat leaned back satisfied and looked with a glint of pride in their eyes at the paper laying peacefully in their middle.
"N-Now that´s like da best song written to a Dark Lord eva" Lucius said.
"Yo" The short and almost bald man agreed simply.
"Don´t forget, boys , that´s it only due to me…to me and my obsession for forbidden things.."
"Agree" Pettigrew and Malfoy nodded in unison.
"An still´we also did som´ work……now what guys ?" The blonde suddenly started with a wide grin - that you normally could only achieve by smoking some drugs and then prepare for a wholehearted ´now what, I love you guys..´ -
"Let´s all sign da song, so that da Master will see from whom he got it and know who is most loyal deatheaters are."
Drunk as they were, they actually thought it was a good idea.
"eter,..ya first !"
He managed to close his thick fingers around the pencil and then move it down at the end of the sheet in a destructive manner. The attack on the unprotected and unknowing paper was hard, fast and cruel as it had been almost ripped apart.
The remaining wizard and witch watched curiously over the other man´s shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of that what had appeared on the once white spot.
One could call it a very advanced signature – like for business use- , and even that would be flatteringly for that bunch of lines drawn together all on the same spot at the same time on one another.
"I´m next !!!" The wizard cried in a more excited way that it may have been appropriate.
In a bumptious gesture he held the pencil over the paper, a few seconds….and then a minute.
"Is´e sleeping with eyes open ?" A slightly concerned Peter whispered to Bella.
"of cuz not…at least I hope so…"
Suddenly the "sleeping" man began to talk again.
"Sooo...wut´s my name again ?"
The three of them pondered for a short time, then Bella seemed to have come to a result :
"Lu- Luschius ...!"
"Luluschius ? My, what a strange name I do have…and it sure is too long, ´ll be writing
´Lulu´ instead…"
And so a rather strange looking "Lulu" found its way next to Peter´s nest out of lines, circles and dots.
"Leaves only you Bella..." Peter told her.
However how drunk Bellatrix Lestrange ever is, she always stands her woman.
Now, she was standing it, by making the men goggle, by placing her signature, as perfect as ever, next to the two – you may call it - ´words´.
"…..An now.." Lucius began, excited like a little kid at Christmas "…let´s run to Voldemort´s room and slip it under the door…!"
"I gotta add…" She said, standing up."...may-maybe running ain´t that good of an idea, seeing that it´s almost 4 o´clock in the morning now…"
Reverential nodding was their answer.
Tip-toeing and after they had taken off their shoes, they began their journey from the common room – the former dinning room of the Riddle´s – to Voldemorts room, whichconsisted out of a work- and bedroom.
Although, they had to halt here and there. There had been twice the necessity for Bella to hit Pettigrew, since he won´t stop giggling at the thought of Voldemort actually reading the song.
Also Lucius finally detected - but still too late – that he was horribly terrified of standing in the darkness….
This, anyhow meant the following :
A drunken witch not really pleased about having achieved the sudden task to watch over a tearful sissy who freaks out at the slightest noise as long as it is in the dark, and an almost
forty-year old man who behaved like a little girl in the fifth grade who just overheard a conversation of tenth graders, talking about with whom they slept with last week.
Plus she had to get them through a hall full of Death Eaters sleeping in the adjoining rooms; unnoticed and as silent as possible that is.
Pressing one hand on Peter´s mouth and the other on Lucius´s eyes, she stormed over the carpet that had been laid out over the wooden floor, in the direction of her Master´s room.
The time it took her to pass the distance, seemed like hours.
Determined, she pushed the paper she had carried in her cloak in the doorslit.
Now they could repeat this nightmare of "a journey" for a last time and finally go off to bed.
Grabbing her companions with her, she merged with the darkness surrounding her.

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The sun was making its way through the curtain, as one beam after the other had made its way into the not so dark eyes of the darkest Dark Lord ever.
"Wake up, Nagini….. And then please be so kind and get off of me" He told his pet snake in parseltongue, after he seated himself up in bed.
"Assssss you wissssshhh" A river of scales made its way on the floor and to the next hole in the wall, where it would hopefully find a mouse or a few mice for breakfast.
Stretching Voldemort stood up and walked over to his drawer to dress, when he noticed something lying on the floor. Curious, he picked it up, just to see that it was a creased piece of paper, with something written on it. On further study it came to him, that it had to be some kind of song, since it had a refrain.
"I certainly have to admit, that it´s taken me quite a bit back to find such a thing lying here of all places" The Lord murmured as he inspected the writting for any signs of an addresser.
"There !" he exclaimed as he finally found something useful.
"´To the master´..hm…it definitely is for me..but just who would do that ??!……wait…what the-" He said as his eyes had wandered down to the end of the page " I hope this swirl isn´t supposed to mean something….and who is ´Lulu´ ???!…oh, wait again…the unknown admirer has at last learned how to write and- OH MY GOD IT´S BELLATRIX ?????!!!"
As if he had burned himself on it, he let go of the piece.
However, not much later, Voldemort´s thoughts again circled about the song and especially its contents.
"I just wonder…" He started, as he again picked it up and held it close so he was able to recognize every word.
With his slit eyes jumping up and down he read quickly and just parts :

I think about the Lord, I wish I could do more…
That´s what I´m here for, to you I´m sworn.

…yet I still come along;
I want to be with you until the end.

You are my Voldemort,
and I love you !
You are my Voldemort,
and I´ll stand by you-uuuu…!

……onto you my Lord;
you´re my ruler
and I´m your slave…..

You are my Voldemort,
and I love you !
You are my Voldemort,
and I´ll stand by you-uuuu…!

You are my Voldemort,
and I love you !
You are my Voldemort,
and I´ll stand by you-uuuu-uuuu…!

Voldemort felt the heat creep into his flat cheeks.
Now even he, a dark wizard, couldn´t help but blush.

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"Ohhh…ain….major headache… ahh…" was the first to be heard of Bellatrix as she got out of bed.
"Never.again" She semi promised herself, although she knew that she could and would not hold this promise.
The witch stumbled across the room to fetch her clothes, which were laying all over the place, because she simply had been to drunk and tired to put them in proper places.
Minutes later, after she´d washed herself and dressed, she dared to leave her room, almost already unsuspecting and careless. In fact, she seemed to have forgotten about last night's incident.
That is, until she was whispered at, as she just past a corner taking her to yet another hall, with two sideways, one leading straight on and the other leading right.
The whisper came obviously from the latter sideway.
"He has read it…" The voice whispered.
"What ?" Bellatrix asked aghast. Slowly she approached the right sideway, just to see Lucius Malfoy kneeling there and hiding behind it.
"He has read it !" The voice said now with a louder voice. Still she was too taken aback to get it. You don´t see Lucius Malfoy kneeling on the floor, whispering around and waiting for some one like a perverted freak everyday, do you ?
"What the hell-"
"HE HAS READ IT !!!" Lucius now screamed.
"Who ?"
"Voldemort ! And now he -"He began and was yet interrupted by Peter in a very creative way; He bursted through the wall – of course not without a pompous explosion in the background.
Though still flying through the air and having all kinds of dirt on his face he shouted at the woman - and so continued Malfoy´s sentence :" AND NOW HE´S STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU !!". With a thud he landed on his behind.
Alarmed Bellatrix turned around, just to see Voldemort standing behind her.
Albeit he was too busy watching the scene before him in shock, than to actually do what he planned.
Slowly his eyes wandered away from the wall and to Bellatrix, who on the other hand stared at him in shock, and then back to the wall. (A/N: Imagine a Voldemort with eyes and mouth wide open ) This repeated itself a few times.
When his memory seemed to have come back, his mouth closed and his eyes returned to normal size at last and his focus remained on Bellatrix.
"Now, Mrs.Lestrange.."He tried to sound strict and evil, but failed miserably when thinking of the song and what she was implying with it. It rather sounded strangely jokingly; he had to bite on his tongue so not to grin, plus was forced to concentrate very hard so he did not blush, which also didn´t work.
Of course, that creeped Bella out even more and not necessarily helped her to relax.
"I love you- eh, I would love you to come to my office…"At that his blush deepened and gave him an even more freaky appearance than normal.
" …so that I can love you there !- and you so didn´t hear what I just said…"
Bella was tempted to ask whether he refered to the part of coming to his office or making love to her.
"Bella: you, me, at my office" Came the short version of the previous sentence, as if a) to make sure she got what he wanted from her and b) he didn´t trust his own voice anymore.
Voldemort took Bella´s hand and pulled her to his office; he could have grabbed her arm instead, and Bellatrix was pretty well aware of this detail.

Note : As always I hope you enjoyed this fic and would be utterly happy if you would leave a review ;) no flames plz :3