Title: Leather Pants
Author: Aithilin
Rating: G - PG?
Genre: Steampunk AU
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: dialogue only, crack, utter AU
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or series, and I am not making money from this.
Summary: Dean, captain of the Airship Impala, captures Castiel of the Angels.
Author's Notes: Part of the "Building Steam" universe. Dedicated to Katy— she started this particular mess.
"I'm not wearing that."
"C'mon, dude. I went to al that trouble to get them, and they'll fit you perfectly."
"What trouble? You traded with Nathaniel for two days' worth of coffee for them."
"Precisely. I lost caffeine for you. "
"Dean, I'm not wearing that."
"You're wearing them if I have to force them on you myself."
"…How exactly do you force someone to wear pants?"
"I have my ways." A pause as a plethora of mental images filled his mind. "Tethers are useful."
"No."
"Yes."
"Dean-"
"Cas, I will hold you down, molest you, then toss every other pair of pants that fit you overboard while you're asleep."
"You do realize that I share sizes with most of the crew?"
"So?"
"You want them walking around half-naked?"
"I'd rather you doing that."
"Which is what I'd rather do than wear those pants."
"…Seriously?"
"In your cabin, yes."
"And outside of it?"
"My own pants. Ones that aren't made of leather."
"Dude-"
"I'm not walking around half-naked when the crew can see. Besides, you already get jealous if I talk to half of them for more than a minute."
"…I do not."
"You punched Daniel yesterday because of it."
"He's a dick."
"We were talking. About the weather."
"And he's been angling to be the captain of this ship for weeks."
"So?"
"So, I punched him for being a dick." A pause while the his rational mind caught up to the conversation. "What does this have to do with the pants?"
"I'm not wearing those pants."
"Cas, please?"
"No."
"You suck."
"Don't do that, either."
"Why do I keep you around?"
"You need someone other than Sam to strategize for you, I know every move a garrison will do, and can recite every ship the ATC utilizes and their weaknesses."
"Right. It's the sex. You're really good at that." Another break in the conversation as Castiel levelled a 'what the hell are you thinking?' look at him, and Dean could only smile. "Want to try on the pants?"
"… You owe me."