Top of the afternoon to ya ladies and gentlemen and others, my name is VioletDemon and welcome to ASDF Durarara Part Two. That's right, it's back! I hope you enjoy this even more than before and now, the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Durarara characters nor the ASDF series. They belong to Ryogo Narita and Tomska :)

Akane walked up to Shizuo in a cute muffin outfit and asked, "Hey Shizuo-san, do you wanna eat me?"

He laughed and ruffled her hair. "No thanks Akane."

"But I wanna die!"

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Mikado tightened his grip on his messenger bag before approaching his crush/friend. "Um Anri-san, w-would you wanna go to prom with me?"

Anri blinked before her eyes dashed left and right. "Oh I'm sorry Mikado, but I can't because I'm a ghost."

"B-But you're not dead-"

BANG!

Her corpse fell to the ground, a bullet hole in her head. Soon, her ghost came out and rose to the ceiling. "Bye Mikado…"

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A crowd of people stood in front of a building, shouting at the young teen standing at the top. One person shouted, "Don't jump; you have so much to live for!"

It was silent before Izaya slid his way into the scene and did his famous dance. "EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!"

He and everyone then proceeded to fall on their faces. A few seconds later, the suicidal teen fell to the ground, blood splattered around him.

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Shizuo clutched his stomach and moaned out, "Man…I'm so full."

Akane walked into his kitchen and asked, "Do you have room for a muffin?"

He questioned why she was still wearing the costume, but instead answered, "No."

She jumped in front of him and shouted, "Why won't you let me die?"

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Kyohei lied on the sidewalk, clutching his throat as he desperately tried to breathe in some air. Shizuo kneeled in front of him and shouted, "Is anybody here a doctor?"

Shinra appeared from out a restaurant and answered, "I am!"

Shizuo stood up and pointed at his face. "Well you're a nerd!"

Shizuo rushed back and high fived Kyohei, even though his old acquaintance was dead.

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Shizuo stood by the traffic sign, along with the rest of the crowd and asked, "Hey does anybody know what time it is?"

Akane, still in her adorable muffin costume, stood beside him and shouted, "It's muffin time!" Meanwhile, a beam of red and yellow lights flashed behind her.

A random pedestrian looked at his watch. "Uh actually it's 12:30."

No words were spoken until Akane said, "Somebody kill me!"

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"Somebody help me, I'm being robbed!" shouted a damsel in distress whose name is not important.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Walker shouted and struck a pose. "TREE POWERS ACTIVATE!"

POP!

A beautiful cherry blossom tree appeared out of nowhere.

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"I am depressed," said Masaomi.

SUDDENLY: PINEAPPLES!

Masaomi soon found himself surrounded by pineapples.

"This does not help," he muttered.

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Namie walked up to Mairu, holding up an empty tray. "Miss, you need to pay for your food."

"NOPE!" Mairu shouted.

She then puked her perfectly clean burger onto Namie's tray and made a run for it.

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Shizuo let out a gasp and pointed at Izaya. "There's something on your face!"

SMACK!

He proceeded to punch the flea in the face, sending him flying to Russia Sushi.

"IT WAS PAIN!"

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Kyohei slammed the door to his refrigerator when his phone started ringing. He fished it out his pocket and answered it.

A gun being loaded was heard and the person shouted, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

"DUN DUN DUN DU-"

Kyohei hung up and put it away like nothing ever happened.

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And now: A cow pretending to be a man

"Shinra, are you a cow?" Izaya asked one day.

Said doctor was taken aback. "What? No!"

"Yeah, me neither!" the cow grinned. "You guys want to go skateboards?"

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Hōrada loaded his gun and pointed it at Aoba. "You're getting mugged, kid."

Aoba turned around and showed off his smile. "No, YOU'RE getting mugged."

Hōrada dropped the weapon and put his hands up. "HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK?"

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Shizuo and Vorona lied on the ground, stargazing.

Vorona smiled. "It's so beautiful out here."

"Yeah," Shizuo agreed. "It's just you...me...and the moon..."

"HEY!" the moon interrupted. "YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!"

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"Hey, did you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?" Shinra pointed out.

Shizuo stared him down before shoving two carrots into his eyes.

"YOU LIED TO ME!"

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"OH NO!" Walker screamed, pointing upwards. "GIANT FLYING SHEEP!"

Kyohei rolled his eyes and frowned. "Those are clouds."

"NOOOOOOOO-"

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"What's going on guys?" Vorona asked.

Shizuo lit his cigarette and put it in his mouth. "Vorona, this is an intervention. You NEED to stop breaking people's neck!"

CRACK!

"What are you talking about?" she questioned as she broke Tom's neck.

"Vorona!" Shizuo snapped.

"What?" She was now holding his head in her hands.

The fake blonde screamed. "VORONAAAAA-"

CRACK!

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Izaya ran up to Anri and asked, "Have you seen Mikado?"

She jumped and pointed to the right. "No, I think he went outside."

Izaya nodded and sprinted away. As he disappeared, Mikado pulled off his face mask.

"YOU FOOL!"

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"Aww, look at the little baby!" Erika beamed.

The baby smiled and let out a giggle.

"And now look at the BIG baby!" she added, looking up at the giant baby.

The monumental baby stared down at them. "WHA?"

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"The orphans..." Shizuo gasped at the dead bodies. "They're all dead! What kind of a man would do this?"

The cow ignored him and skated past the corpses, like as if nothing was wrong. "SKATEBOARDS!"

And that does it for this one-shot of ASDF Durarara Part Two! If you liked it, PUNCH that review button IN THE FACE...LIKE A SON OF A BITCH! AND...like/favorite/follow if you enjoyed this. But seriously, THANK YOU GUYS...and I will SEE YOU...IN THE NEXT ONE-SHOT!