PLease note: Dumbeldore is alive and thriving in Florida (bahahaha), Ginny and Harry never dated, it is the summer after 6th year (everythign is the same other then dumbeldore's death and Ginny and Harry's relationship) and Fleur and Bill are getting married. I dedicate this INTIRE story to: Crazyroninchic and Alsdssq, both being the best teen writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading their work. Crazyroninchic is the orginal plot creator in her story 'never leave fanfiction lying around' which was for LotR and Alsdssq's 'why canon and fanon don't mix' in the ERagon catagory. READ THEM!! Their excellent! ON with the show then!

Disclaimer--> I DO NOT own Harry POtter, nor do I seriously own this plot line, but, it is under my account, so please, no stealing without permission granted from Carzyroninchic. Capeesh? Capeesh.

Chapter 1: Teh hreo of Hogwrttz.

"Thanks for letting me stay here Mrs. Weasley" Harry said, he had a huge smile spread acrossed his face as he lifted his bag in the front door of the centry old and rugged mansion. Mrs. Weasley scoffed,

"No need to thank me Harry, you are always welcome here, now go suprise Ron, just don't make him pee his pants, poor boy's been a little jumpy lately" Mrs. Weasley said,

"Alright" Harry said, he grabbed his backpack and ran up the drooping steps to the top level. He tried to open the door to Ron's room, but found it latched shut. Harry pushed against it and heaved at it, but it refused to budge.

"Damn it" he said, he left his bag there and went down to Ginny's room. Harry had never seen Ginny's room, so he wasn't sure what to find. He took the correct hallways and turned into the room he thought was Ginny's: Bingo. The room was a nasty off white colour, but it was mostly covered in posters of quidditch teams and even muggle bands!

"Hey Ginny" Harry said, Ginny, who had been sitting at her desk writing a letter to god knows who, jumped off the seat and screamed in suprise,

"Holy shit! What did I do?" Harry asked as Ginny's face turned red, he wasn't sure if she was angry or embarrassed. Ginny almost laughed at his scared expression .

"Nothing! Only scared the crap out of me!!" She said,

"That's all?" Harry asked dryly, he was trying very hard to look serious but a smile crept onto his lips.

"Yes, now stop smiling like that! Why are you here- oh for god sakes" Ginny said sounding much like Mrs. Weasley, she went over and gave him a light hug,

"Now, why are you here, and at my door?" she asked,

"I am here for the summer, your mother decided to pity me and rescued me from the torture house that is the Dursley's. Second question, I am at your door because Ron's is locked and there is a sound proofing charm on it, do you have the key?" Harry asked, Ginny looked almost disturbed,

"Why would my brother, the stupid pig that he is, have enough magic and skill to preform a silencing charm? Dare I ask where Hermiony is?" Ginny asked, she was being sarcastic, Harry's eyes went wide and Ginny got what he was thinking.

"Do you have a camera?" Harry asked, Ginny smiled wickedly and ran to her cupboard and extracted a camera. Harry smiled and they left the room and followed the staires up to Ron's room. They stayed quiet as Ginny put in the key. The door slowly opened to reveal... Harry almost passed out, Ginny lost all colour in her face and they held each other up in case the other passing out. Harry closed the door.

"That was disturbing" Harry said, Ginny coughed,

"He isn't your brother. Oh shit, now I have mental pictures" Ginny whined.

"Yeah, but there my two best friends" Harry said

"I am never looking at those two the same way again" Ginny said

"That I agree with you on completely" Harry said, they ran downstaires to the kitchen.

Mrs, Weasley wasn't there, but a note lay on the table.

Dear whomever reads this,

I am gone to Diagon Alley for a few items

please cook yourselves supper, I will return

later tonight. Fred and George are coming

and so are Bill and Charlie. Have fun but

don't break anything of value (Twins!).

Love

Mum Xox

PS. There's a letter on the table from Dumbeldore.

"I didn't think they were even going out!" Ginny was ranting, "I mean, who would know they could be so secretive that they could date soooooo long that they had gotten as far as sleeping together! Seeing my brother shagging my best friend isn't good!" Ginny said,

"Remember their BOTH my best friends!" Harry said, he was pale and looked ready to pass out. "Who would think I could take on over two dozen death eaters and Voldemort himself and yet, seeing my best friends shag makes me want to pass out! I am so going to fail sex ed." Harry said,

"I didn't even think he had a love life" Ginny said, she sat down on the sofa beside Harry, they just looked ahead in utter and complete disgust. They then turned to look at each other, looked away at top speed and shifted uncomfortably.

"Aquward topic" Harry said

"yes, let's move on shall we" Ginny said, Harry nodded in agreement. They sat for a minute, unsure of what to do or say.

"The letter" Harry said getting up,

"Read it aloud" Ginny said,

"What? You can't read?" Harry said teasingly,

"No, i just like to be read to" Ginny said standing in front of him. Harry ripped the letter open and began to read Dumbeldore's slanted curvy writing:

"Dear Harry, Ron, Hermiony, Ginny, Fred, George, Bill and perhaps even Charlie,

Along with the letter is a package. I would like all of you to gather in a room and read what is inside the package. I came acrossed it during my time in America. I have already read it and I believe it will give you a good laugh. Make a promise that you will read the WHOLE thing and the package will open, if you don't read the WHOLE thing then you will suffer sugar cravings and no amount of sugar will satiasfy it.

best of luck

Albus Dumbeldore"

"Okay" Ginny said uneasily

"Yeah" Harry said, he put the note down and took the package "It does have a spell around it" he told Ginny,

"Well, if Dumbeldore asked us to read that whatever it is, we'd best wait for my brothers to come and then they can end Ron and Hermiony's fun" Ginny said. Harry left for the kitchen to start cooking, Ginny went to the living room to sit down and re-read the letter.

"I just don't understand why Dumbeldore would give us something from America that he says will give us a good laugh??? It makes no sence at all!" Ginny said, she had re-read it 10 times.

"You know, it doesn't matter how many time you read that letter, the words aren't going to change" Harry said, Ginny shot him a look and returned to reading. Harry was busy making a bunch of patatoes dance in mid-air when their were two 'pop's.

"Hello Harry" came two voices in perfect unison.

"Hey Fred and George, think fast" Harry said, he made two of his dancing patatoes fly towards Fred and George, who were anything but ready, both patatoes made contact with the side of the twins's faces.

"Ouch" the twins said dryly, Ginny was now laughing at the expretion on the twins's faces.

"You both look like Voldemort slapped you!" she said, George flinched at the name while Fred simply hit his brother.

"Yes well, the one boy that can distroy that ugly gitt hit us with patatoes" Fred said

"But that is much better then Voldemort slapping us" George finished

"Yes, well, that's what the girls that are dumb enough to go out with you, do, right?" Harry asked, both Fred and George chuked their patatoes at Harry, who repelled the patatoes with a spell. Fred and George rolled their eyes and went to the living room.

"You two have to go into Ron's room. Get him, erm, down here for, erm, supper" Ginny said, Fred nodded and George followed reluctantly. Harry looked at Ginny in utter amusmant, both were waiting for the twins to scream like school girls.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Was heard not long after, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN MY MOTHERS HOUSE!!!!!!!??????"

Harry and Ginny were quite busy laughing their asses off. While still laughing Ginny helped Harry with the table and finishing the supper preperations. Fred and George imerged form the staires with disturbed looks on their faces.

"Did you give them both a good lecture?" Ginny asked as she put forks down.

"Yes" George aid

"I never thought Ron would have layed someone before me or George...Or even you Ginny! He was supposed to be a virgine till he was 40!" Fred said, Harry laughed at this,

"What?" George asked,

"Not worth asking" Harry said in return and put the food on the table. There were two more 'pop's and Charlie and Bill had landed in front of Ginny, who spun around and yelped, Charlie and Bill started to yelp too since they thought Ginny was being highly amusing. The twins were laughing and sat down at either end of the table.

"Where's Ron?" Charlie asked, he had yet to notice Harry, while Bill had already shook Harry's hand as a welcome.

"Upstaires shagging Hermiony" Ginny said, Charlie choked on his invisble food.

"Shagging! In my mothers house!?" Charlie sputtered,

"YES!" The twins said in disturbed unison.

"Wow" Bill said looking mildly impressed,

"Yes wow" Harry said in utter disgust at Bill's reaction to the whole thing. Soon enough they had digged into the food and were talking and eating and in the twins cases; singing. Ginny was tapping her fork on the table to the rythm when the seat beside her was pulled out and Hermiony sat herself down. Ginny looked acrossed the table to catch Harry's eye, they locked gazes and both knew where this was going.

"So, Hermiony, had fun shagging my brother?" Fred asked,

"We didn't ask you to come in" Hermiony said in a low whisper, Harry was playing with his patatoes and Ginny was giving Hermiony a sketchy look as she played with her over cooked carrots that turned to mush.

"Yes, but this is our mothers house, now please control your impulses next time" Charlie said, he was going to give Ron the big lecture.

"Erm, i will" Hermiony said, Ginny patted her back,

"Now that you have shagged Ronald, your cursed for life" she said, Hermiony gave her a look and Ginny removed her hand.

"We got a package from Dumbeldore" Harry said, he tossed the letter to Charlie who read the note aloud.

"Sounds like some sort of conspiracy" said a low voice from the staircase, Ron came shuffling over,

"Conspiracy? Hardly! This is Dumbeldore after all! Whatever this is, it will help us in some way" Charlie said,

"Agreed with dragon boy" Ginny said

"I trust Dumbeldore but he does like stuff that will make him have a laugh, perhaps this IS just a bit of comic relief on his part" Harry suggested,

"Harry has a point and so does Charlie" Ginny said

"So all we can do is read it" Fred said "Now" he added

"Now?" Ginny asked

"Now?" Harry asked as he stabbed his fork into his over cooked meat loaf,

"NOW!?" Both Ron and Hermiony shouted,

"Now" the twins said in unison.

"Shall we make our promises?" Bill asked, Everyone put a hand on the package and started a promis, but were interupted by a voice that could only belong to Dumbeldore.

"Repeat after me" the voice started

"Oh gods" Ginny said

"Mercy" Charlie said

"Eeeek" Ron squeeled

"Ron, shush up" Hermiony said,

"I vow to read all that is contained in this package" the voice said, they all repeated it, the room had gone very dark and the package was glowing.

"I will read it aloud for all to hear" The voice said, the group repeated,

"And i will not break this vow" the voice said, they repeated it.

"If I do i will run around with major sugar cravings and nothing will satisfy them" the voice said, they repeated it.

"Good luck and have fun" the voice finished, they repeated it.

"You didn't need to repeat that" the voice said, they repeated it.

"Or that" the voice said, they repeated it again.

"goodbye" the voice said, they repeated it as the room came back to view and the lights were once again at full fury.Harry took the package and opened it at one end, there were several clicks and a few doors were slammed shut. Fred ran towards the dining room door and tried to open it,

"Locked!" he said angrily, Charlie was at the other door that led to the kitchen "Locked!" he said as well.

"Briliant" Harry said "Were locked in the dining room and the only way out is if we read this thing Dumbeldore sent us" Harry said, Fred looked at the package and extracted a pile of pure white pages with computer writing on them.

"There's so many of these white things" Fred said

"That's muggle paper" Harry said, the group (other then Hermiony) gave him a bewildered look "Muggle parchment" Harry said, they nodded their understanding.

"It seems to be a story" Hermiony said noticing the small font on the pages "What's the title?" she asked,

"Oh my god. Harry, come here" Fred said, Harry went to stand behind him, he choked.

"The hero of Hogwarts" Fred read aloud. "That's the title, but they spelt it: Teh Hreo of Hogwrttz" Fred said, Hermiony scoffed,

"What horrid grammer!" she said angrily, Ginny was laughing and Harry was shaking his head. The twins were looking mildly interested, Bill was picking meat out of his teeth with a tooth pick and Charlie was flicking his wand lazily.

"Who's going to read first?" Charlie asked as he continued to simply flick his wand.

"I don't think we should read it" Hermiony said

"Why?" Bill asked

"If the whole story has grammer that bad, then bloody hell, it'll be like reading my little cousines writing!" she said

"I am not spending my whole life in my mother dining room" Ron said

"And reading this will end badly! I mean we will be scarred with terrible grammer and we will call everyone Hreo and Hogwrttz" Hermiony said,

"Let's vote on this" Harry said "All in favor of keeping our grammer that is already bad" he said, Hermiony raised her hand "And those who want to get on with our lives" Harry said, the rest of the room's hands shot up. "There you have it Hermiony" Harry said.

"How about oldest to youngest?" Fred suggested getting right back on topic.

"Sure" Bill said and grbbed the stack of pages. He turned to the first page and his eyes went wide.

"What?" Harry asked,

"Chapter one: The goddess" he said,

"Doesn't sound too bad" Harry said, Bill gave him a sympathetic look, Bill flicked his wand and the table dissapeared,

"This way no one can kick me" he said, they turned their chairs into a circle and sat in order from youngest to oldest. Ginny being youngest and then Harry, Hermiony, Ron, Fred and George (Fred's older by 10 minutes) then Charlie and Bill.

"Let's get this over with" Fred said, Bill looked at the page and frowned,

"I have a feeling that we are all going to regret this" Bill said and started to read...

A/N: how'd you like it???? Hope you liked it, r/r please and thank-you.

l8er

.:Nikos:. (not Atlanta)