Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Cosmo Kramer and Elaine Benes were all currently in prison. Everything had been going so well for them. NBC had agreed to make Jerry and George's TV pilot, Jerry, a full series. They were all going to go to Paris for one last hurrah before parting ways. But thanks to a combination of Kramer's desperation for water, a car jacking and a trial which made absolutely no sense, they were all in prison.
At present, they had only been in prison for a few days and they were already bored. So Jerry decided to perform a stand-up routine to try and alleviate the boredom, and was failing miserably. All the male prisoners were watching, including George and Kramer. Elaine wasn't present since she was in the female section of the prison.
"So what is the deal with the yard? I mean when I was a kid my mother wanted me to play in the yard. But of course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we have to be sent to prison, in prison? You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So, anyone from Cellblock D?
No-one except Kramer was laughing. Not even George, who was Jerry's best friend, wasn't laughing becasue of how painfully unfunny it was. A random prisoner responded to Jerry's question of Cellblock D. "I am".
Jerry responded casually. " I'll talk slower. I'm kidding - I love Cellblock D. My friend George is in Cellblock D" George simply smiled as Jerry continued as he asked another random prisoner " What are you in for,sir?"
The prisoner responded casually "Murder one." He casually replied.
Jerry, once again, responded casually "Murder one? Oooooo, watch out everybody. Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding sir - lighten up." He joked naturally before asking another random prisoner "How about you, what are you in for?"
The prisoner recognized Jerry by his voice. He was the man whose car he had stolen about 6 and a half years earlier, he was: the car thief. So responded slightly angrily " Grand theft auto".
Jerry failed to recognized the car thief's voice, so he treated him the same way he did all the other inmates. "Grand theft auto - don't steal any of my jokes."
The car thief got mad becasue Jerry failed to recognized his voice, and decided to start making threats. "You suck - I'm gonna cut you".
Jerry, who had somehow not picked up on the threat, decided to respond with a bold statement. "Hey, I don't come down to where you work, and knock the license plate out of your hand".
Fortunately for Jerry, and unfortunately for the car thief, a guard recognized what was about to happen so he decided to get Jerry to safely. "Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's go. Come on".
As he led Seinfeld into solitary confinement for no real reason, Jerry shouted behind him "Alright, hey, you've been great! See you in the cafeteria!"
Newman woke up in the middle of the night, and he realized that the entire thing, was a dream. He cursed that it was a dream before going back to sleep, not caring what Jerry was actually doing.
Jerry was currently performing a new stand-up routine he had thought of recently and the audience was loving it.
"It‚s always depressing when a once great TV show is on well past its prime. Take "Happy Days for example. Do you realize that when the show ended, Fonzie was on Medicare? He went from saying "Ayyyyyyyyyyyy! to "Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy, my back! You know how he would hit the jukebox, you know, to get it to play? Well they had to end the show because he broke his hip doing that. "Cheers is another show that was on a long, long time. By the time they were wrapping that up, Norm‚s liver was roughly the size of an ottoman. Not to mention the stool rash. Why don‚t these people know when to call it quits? Just once I‚d like to see a show go out on top".
The audience loved it.
Author's note: Hey guys, I decided to do a fanfic I have wanted to do for a very long time, a better version of the Seinfeld finale, as I have never liked it. It is poorly plotted, it's boring, it make's no sense and it is one of the worst TV finales of all time. So I have started by showing that the finale is a dream that Newman, as it is the only way to me that it could make sense. Be prepared for a more satisfying ending.