Duo and the Frying Pan of Doom
~*By Fenix Bloom*~
::Duo finds the Frying Pan of Doom. Duo decides he is hungry, and therefore ought to cook something in the Frying Pan of Doom. Duo obviously doesn't realise it is the Frying Pan of Doom. Upon placing his hand on the ordinary-looking frying pan, he jumps back because he was burned by the Frying Pan of Doom::
Duo: That hurts!
Trowa: ...
Quatre: Didn't you know that, Duo?
Duo: Know what?
Trowa: ...
Duo: What did he say?
Quatre: It's the Frying Pan of Doom. You should use an oven mitt.
Duo: Oh.
::Duo puts on an oven mitt and proceeds to fry some bacon in the Frying Pan of Doom.
Heero laughs at Duo, who is wearing an apron which reads "Queen of the Sanq Kitchen". Duo realises he is wearing Relena's apron and pauses in his cooking to remove it, and puts on his "God of Death, Watch for Food Poisoning" apron.::
Duo: Relena cooked you dinner last night, eh, Hee-chan?
::Heero glares at Duo::
Duo: That's a yes.
::Duo is punched by Heero. After a moment's unconciousness, Duo resumes frying the bacon in the Frying Pan of Doom.::
---------------------------
LATER THAT DAY:
::Relena enters the kitchen, and glowers angrily around the room, especially at the pilots. Well, not Heero.::
Relena: Who has been using the Frying Pan of Doom?
Duo: I thought you were a pacifist!
Relena: I am, what's that got to do with this?
Duo: Well, I thought pacifists would have a frying pan of peace, or hope, or charity, or something like that. Quatre, would you ever touch anything that ended in the description "of Doom?"
Quatre: No...
Relena: Who said it was mine? I was just wondering so I could tell Dorothy that it wasn't my fault that her pan was ruined. I used the Frying Pan of Love when I made dinner last night.
::Relena points at the heart-shaped pan::
Relena: I borrowed it from Quatre.
::Quatre blushes. Dorothy enters, takes one glance at her pan, and glares angrily at Duo.::
Dorothy: Who touched my frying pan? WHO TOUCHED MY FRYING PAN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Trowa: ...
::Having her suspicions confirms, Dorothy glares even harder at Duo. She picks up the Frying Pan of Doom and whacks Duo hard on the head. There is a poof of green smoke, and Duo is transformed into a poached egg.::
Dorothy: Hah! Try and fix that curse, Hilde!
::She smiles and goes about cleaning the Frying Pan of Doom. Across the kitchen, Relena is washing the Frying Pan of Love, while Quatre and Trowa wonder how they can fix their fallen friend. Heero enters, and joins in the pondering. Wufei enters angrily. His hair is a neon green mohawk.::
Wufei: MAXWELL!!!
Quatre: Wufei, can you wait on hurting Duo until the ladies are gone, and Duo is replaced to his previous form.
::Quatre points at the poached egg in Duo's chair, which just so happens to be Duo.::
Wufei: Not again...
::Wufei rolls his eyes and leaves to try and fix his hair, just as Quatre decides to ring up Hilde and tell her that Duo got cursed by Dorothy again. Quatre realises this will probably result in a cat-fight between the two, but he knows that he can cook his girl a lovely soothing meal in his Frying Pan of Love while she recovers, and that Duo won't mind as long as he is a poached egg.::
THE END =)
Authors notes: This is the first time I've ever writtin a 'fic in that style, so I think I did okay-ish. And although I don't like it, I've seen too much proof that Dorothy the four-eyebrowed (freaky) girl is Quatre's "girlfriend," so don't blame me, you Quatre-loving fanatics out there! ((Same goes for Heero/Relena))
I got the idea from this story after reading "Utensil Strength" by Patricia C. Wrede. It was a short story inside her collection, the Book of Enchantments. If you like the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, you'd like that book. Some of the stories are more traditional magic, some of them are modern day, and the Frying Pan of Doom belongs in the Enchanted Forest. Now, enough book advertising for me. Go back to your fanfic reading enjoyment, and have a =) day!