After witnessing years upon years of shipping wars within this fandom, I decided to create this story in which I will try to show you all what is truly right for these fictional characters.

Marco was in his room, browsing the World Wide Web on his laptop, accompanied by a bowl of nachos, tissues and his iPod. Then suddenly, when he least expected it, without any warning what so ever, out of nowhere and the blue, Star Butterfly broke through the door of his room. Marco screamed and jumped into his karate stance.

"STAR! You made me jump!"

"No time Marco!" Star replied. "I have come here for the sole purpose of saving humanity once again from an ancient evil called: 'the shipping wars'!"

Ta ta taaaaaaaaaaam

Marco raised an eyebrow.

"U wot m8?"

Star sighed. "Alright listen, there's these guys in the real world who can't agree on who is the best girl for you Marco, me or all the other females who you can't get close to before someone draws porn of the two of you on DeviantArt. Probably including my Mom. And yours... But nevertheless, I have come to convince you that I am the best girl for you and have been from the beginning!"

Marco looked at her, scratched his head and said: "Nah, you're probably not though..."

Ta ta taaaaaaaaaaam

Star gasped in shock.

"Marco! How could you say that?"

"Well Star, I just don't feel attracted to you. You really y'know... don't get my gears turning."

"That's a lie." Star said.

"No it's not." Marco retorted.

"Marco your dick has been out this entire time, you got an erection right after I stormed in."

"Correct. I was looking at hardcore Minion-fidget spinner porn."

"Yes, I can see on your laptop. But I'm sure you were not aroused before I came in."

"Lies and deceit."

"Don't bullshit me Marco."

"Why don't you just jump to another dimension where there's another version of me if you love me so much?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Seems like the writer has written himself into a corner then. Now I have to kill you."

And then Marco pulled out a chainsaw and absolutely destroyed Star right then and there. He then grabbed his dimension jumping scissors and jumped someplace else to visit the other girls. Probably to rape them. Oops, spoilers.

What a fine work of art this has become. More chaptahs on da wae.