Love and Why I Don't Get It
Welcome ladies and gents, to my Valentine story. No school today for me, so I have plenty of time to write this up. I'm sure mostly everyone's heard the news that Little Mac's been confirmed for SSB4 (Thank you TV Tropes!), and it's nice that Nintendo would do that before Valentines. But when I started thinking about a certain puffball, it distracted me from everything and got me writing. So, thanks Kirby. Without further ado, let's begin.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own SSB, nor anyone that would be mentioned in this story.
Love.
Kirby's never really understood the entire concept of it, really. According to all those chick flicks Peach liked to watch, a girl looks at a guy (or vice versa) and they hang out for a little while. After a while, they both get married and have kids, or whatever. He hadn't really been paying attention much, but to be frank, who would have when the trailer for the new Plants vs. Zombies was playing at the exact same time? He basically had the mentality of an eight year old with the attention span of a Spoink, but to be frank, it was justified. According to those books he had skimmed through whenever he was aboard the Halberd, Dreamlandians didn't age that often. In fact, only some species of Dreamlandians aged at all. Kirbys weren't one of them.
Though, back onto the topic of love, Kirby sorta got some things. He got that two people who were in love kissed each other a lot (In fact, Ribbon had kissed him on the cheek once) because they liked each other so much. He also understood that watching the Valentine festivities at Smash Mansion was fun. Especially if you had a flamethrower. Those things were always fun.
This year, things were different.
Usually he and Sonic always messed with the guys in Team Hero who had girlfriends, and this year, he was expecting for Mega Man to join them in this tradition.
He wasn't expecting to see Sonic enter the mansion with a bouquet of roses two days before Valentines and struggle to hide them in a closet.
Now that Valentines had arrived, he and Mega were going over a list of what the Smashers were each getting for their Valentine. "Okay, so Link has been trying to get Zelda a Lillipup for the past five weeks, but so far, no luck." said Mega. Kirby nodded in amusement.
"He's never going to get it in time. If he's been waiting for five weeks they've probably given the thing to some other person."
"Okay then…Sonic's got a bouquet of roses and something else for his mystery girl-"
"I know."
"Oh, right, forgot that. Well, Yoshi's getting Pichu an Everstone. (*)"
"…Yoshi…And Pichu?"
"Uh, yeah, that's what I said." Mega looked confused for a minute.
"…Yoshi…And PICHU?! How does that even-"
"Hey, I'm not so sure myself. All I know is that it's apparently been going on for a few months. Anyways, I don't really know what Mario's getting for Peach, but I think Luigi's getting his girlfriend some sorta flower. A daisy, I think."
"Lame…Let's just go mess with Link, then." Kirby started to get up and head towards the Hylian when Megas voice stopped him.
"Oh, right, Bowser's also inviting his wife." Kirby turned around with his eyes bulging out of his head.
"BOWSER HAS A WIFE?!"
"Well, yeah, how else would he have eight kids?" Kirby didn't utter another word, he just continued on his merry way to mess with Link.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Link was looking rather distressed. The Lillipup he had wanted to get Zelda for Valentines still had not arrived, and it would only be a few more minutes until she woke up. "Things could NOT get any more worse than this." He thought.
Then Kirby skipped merrily up to Link.
"I stand corrected. They just got worse, AND more annoying." thought Link, mentally rolling his eyes.
"Heya Linko! How's the Valentines gift coming along?" Link paused to stare at Kirby for a second.
"…Screw you." Kirby let out a giggle and jumped up to sit on a nearby chair.
"Why don't you just get her a Loftwing or a horse or something easy?"
"She already has a Loftwing and a horse. Look, Kirby, if you don't have anyone to worry about, go play Left 4 Dead 2 or something." Kirbys smile only grew.
"Ooh! I know! I'll go play Flappy Bird! That always cheers me up!" Link turned and stared at the puffball in disbelief.
"…Kirby, Flappy Bird got permanently deleted five days ago." Kirby remained silent for a moment.
"…WHAT?! NO! FLAPPY BIRDDDDDDDDDDD!" Kirby yelled, running towards the lounge.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXx
After all the festivities (aka, everyone acting all lovey dovey), Link and Sonic entered the lounge, apparently talking about the tiers of dating. "…So, wait, what about tier fifteen?" asked Sonic, while Link immediately got a look of panic.
"YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT." Link yelled.
"Uh…"
"DO NOT DO TIER FIFTEEN." Sonic looked confused.
"Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about." It was at that moment they both noticed Kirby, who was staring intensely at his IPod. "Uh, Kirby? You okay?"
"Quiet Sonic. I'm playing Flappy Bird." Link leaned over to peer at Kirby's game.
"…Kirby, that says 'Splashy Fish'."
"SAME THING!" Link and Sonic turned away from Kirby and walked over to one of the couches that was NOT occupied by an insane puffball.
"So, anyways, tell me about her." Sonic let out a dreamy sigh at this.
"Her name's Blaze. We don't really get to see each other often, but she's beautiful. She's innocent, like the steam off a puffballs nose while he searches for that lone piece of ham in the snow." Kirby glared at Sonic, got up and began to walk away, still paying attention to his game.
"Guy drops one piece of ham in the snow and he NEVER HEARS THE END OF IT…"
XxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Flappy bird, flappy bird, flappy flappy flappy bird, flappy bird, flappy bird, flappy flappy flappy bird…"
All of Team Hero watched Kirby, curled up in the corner, sing the same song over and over again. "If he sings that song for five more minutes, I'm shipping him off to the mental ward." said Sonic, while everyone else nodded in agreement.
Yeah, I know it was short, but I was running out of ideas. Happy Valentines, everybody!
*: You're welcome, Warrior Kitty.