Disclaimer: If I took liberties with the character and you think they're OCC, pretend I didn't. If it get obvious that some parts of the story are really lazy, pretend you can't tell. If you think my writing sounds oddly like the writing of your favorite authors, pretend you can't tell I'm trying to learn from them. And if you just don't like two dudes together then dude, wha-? Why you even here? Go watch the real show or something.

PS no guarentees I'll finish this story. I haven't written fanfics in a long, long, looong time (longer than when I last read one). Even when I used to write them, I never finished them. If I don't, I'll just post up the outline. Then why am I writing, you ask, dearly beloved dedicated reader? Because I used to think Edd was hot when I was a kid and from these fics I randomly perused three minutes ago, he seems like way too much a sissy-bottom-bed-warmer. Okay, stop ruining my childhood; that's my job.

...Okay alright, fine, I just like procrastinating. (And if you feel like I was talking about your stories, don't take me seriously. I'm glad you're writing and I just hot-ed him up in my mind anyways)

PPS I don't proof read and have no proofreader.


-o-

The one who opened the front door with a strong push of the metal railings was followed by another who awkwardly pulled down his hat. He was wearing loosely-fitted soft clothing, smacked with comfort and straight ironing.

"This, Edd-boy, is the what they call 'da hall', where all sorts of shenanigans occur."

The hatted boy, Edd-boy hugged himself closer. "Oh dear! Only during breaks, I hope."

The taller boy looked at him. Edward was prepared to for the laugh but not for the harsh pat on the shoulder. He coughed at it, but the young, slouchy boy appreciated it. "He'll see me through this," was his thought. "He'll help me."

He walked at the other's heel, following sometimes too closely. He was being led to his locker, as promised, but the wide halls seemed too narrow for his tripping feet. He found himself plastered against the back of the other. He recoiled, and when the other boy did not even seem to notice, Edward tried to hang his heavy arms at his sides, wondering if he seemed casual.

As the straps of his backpack began to slip down his round shoulders, the bell echoed through the halls. The sweat forming at the rim of his hat burst into tiny beads. He pulled out a handkerchief as he watched all the doors suddenly slam open.

"Hey Rolf."

"Hey Goat-man."

"What's happening Rolf?"

"Who's the kid?"

Edward looked at his tall, lean companion, Rolf. If he remember correctly, Rolf was on the football team, and the football team were suppose to be faddish. Yes, prominent, faddish, societal, and popular, and all the people greeting his companion were not proving Edward wrong.

"Rawlf!" one boy screamed from across the hall. "Coach said to tell you practice is today!"

"Practice is today?"

"Yeah, he told us yesterday. I forgot too so I remembered when he told me again today."

The noise began to die down before finally the second bell rang. But by then, Edward had already been alone for a solid three minutes. Rolf had disappeared with his teammate, a large boy with a crew cut, before Edward even had time to react.

Edward looked to both his sides, along the empty corridor in the pit of its own depravity. He still had his assignment sheet, which he pulled out of his pocket. He wiped his palms three times on his cotton pants before trying to smooth out the oddly, uncharacteristically crumpled piece of paper.

He would use the paper to find his locker, then his classes. And being the proper boy he was, he would meet up with Rolf sometimes today, whenever it is they would run into each other, and he would thank him for his troubles. That would definitely make his parents proud.


"I heard there's a new kid in school."

Kevin peeled back an eye to watch his best friend jab his finger repeatedly into the arm of his other best friend.

"Stop this buffoonery, Nathan!"

"Don't try to hide it, Rolf. I saw the two of you in the hallway during break. What's he like? What's he like?"

"Buffoonery!" he shouted, then shrank when their nearly-deaf mathematics teacher turned towards them. He looked around at all the children, who diligently made of show of staring at the chalkboard. Nodding to himself, he turned back to his drawling.

Rolf was definitely smarter than them. He may not be AP material but he was definitely honors material. The only reason Rolf was in math... and chemistry... and even English with them is probably because he keeps insisting on taking Holidays no one has ever heard about. Old Country rules. That also sometimes just happened to be on midterm days.

As Rolf and Nat continued their bickering, Kevin turned when he heard a farting sound from behind. In the corner sat Ed and Eddy, giggling to each other. Kevin rolled his eyes. Oh yeah, Rolf was definitely smarter than this class.

"I do not even know how to answer your questions," Rolf hissed.

"You can answer them by answering them."

"He's probably a dork anyways." Kevin turned back towards his friends. "Does it really matter?"

"Well, I just want to know, that's all."

Nat crossed his arms, but said no more. Rolf nodded at Kevin in thanks, who just shrug.

When the clock turned, everyone shifted out of their seats. The scattered minutes spent in the dull room with low-hung curtains made no illusions of how little most of the class thought of the subject. Nat, who never bothered to bring stationary to school, waited at the door for the two to pack up. Although Kevin never took notes either, he at least liked to pretend he cared about school. It also made his complaints seem sounder when he receives back his test scores.

After Kevin pulls Rolf away from Ed, as they understandably were talking about football, they made their way to the hall.

"I have practice today," Rolf said. Kevin grunted in false acknowledgment. Nazz had walked up to the group and he gave her a quick peck.

"Get a room, guys." So okay, maybe it was not very quick-

"But it felt quick," Kevin said as he grinned into Nazz's cheek. She giggled as Nat made rude noises behind him.

They passed through clusters of people, each being greeted by people from their own team, before stopping in front of advanced physics. Kevin took the chance to hold Nazz. Nazz was wonderful, a pale and ethereal creature. He just wanted to hold her, to experience the essence of her scent that he could not describe beyond simply "wonderful". Sometimes, he wondered why she chose him. Everyone tells them that they are suppose to be together, sure, that the basketball captain and the cheerleading head were made from the same mold of clay, but Nazz was above him. She was out of his league, and he was thankful she did not know. She was smart, cool, and funny, all things Kevin had tried or still tries to be but fails to match up to. But she does it so effortlessly.

He knew people were staring but he held her closer. It was going to be a few hours before he could see her again. But he could only grasp her for what seems even shorter than usual. He found himself smacked onto the floor, covered with more than a handful of large hard-covered books.

"Oh dear! I'm so sorry! I'm so very sorry."

The books were picked off him slowly, nearly. Kevin pressed his forehead to try to center himself.

"I just had very many books and I couldn't find my lockers, so I couldn't well see where I was going. And I should probably also confess I was thinking of the Cavendish Torsion. I just read the syllabus and a model of the method would be demonstrated mid-semester for class, but I couldn't tell if it was a lab demonstration or an instructors demonstration!" He threw his hands up, accidentally dropping the books again. "I don't own any weights!"

Kevin stared at the thin boy. He was already standing, pulled up by Nazz, fixing his shirt and cap when the boy finally stopped blustering. Then, flushed, he scrambled to his feet. He had only started to apologize when Rolf laughed.

"Edd-boy! You made it to class, yes?"

Edward stared at Rolf, his mind stirring from the question Rolf had just asked. He decided just to nod.

"Good! Good!" Edward lurched forward as Rolf smacked him on the shoulders again. "Though you have many books. You did not find locker but no matter, we help you find it after class."

And abruptly, Edward remembered he should thank Rolf for his assistance early. This gesture was waved away with an easy hand, and as Edward bent down to retrieve the rest of his books, Rolf smiled to his friend.

"Edward," he said, pointing downwards. Nazz smiled weakly and Nat stared with interest.

But for Kevin... something was not comfortable with Kevin. As he watched this vague, extraordinary, grotesque loser fumble over his unyielding hands, he felt something unfamiliar rise and obtusely settled itself in the wells of his abdomen. Even after everyone, including Nazz and Rolf had entered their classroom, Kevin continued to stare at the boy. It was only when Nat arched his elbow into Kevin's side did he seem to realize what he had to do.

Kevin walked up towards the Edward, who was trying in vain to hold all his belonging within his arm, and shoved him. The gangly boy fell down hard and stared at Kevin with eyes that widened to the disappearance of his eyebrows.

Ignoring Nat's reactionary commentary, Kevin leaned over, with both hands placed firmly over his knees, and whispered a hiss so close Edward could smell his breath.

"Dork."

He turned away and left down the halls, leaving Nat, leaving the class from within, including the teacher who only had a partial view, staring. Finally, Nat turned to the boy, mouthed an almost noncommittal sorry, and chased after his friend.