Author's Note: I don't own anything.
Summary: Snape reflects on the girl he loved and lost.
Have you ever loved someone with all of your heart? Have you ever said something you said in complete anger? Did you ever hurt the one you loved?
I did all of the following. I loved Lily Evans with all of my heart. And I said something in anger. I called her a filthy mud blood. One of the worst things you could ever say to a fellow witch or wizard. I remember how much pain and anger reflected into her eyes. What would I give to go back in time and change the course of what happened.
On that day, our friendship was over. I tried to apologize after I realized the mistake that I had made. She wouldn't listen to me. Every day my heart broke more and more, but one day I saw something that completely destroyed me.
I saw Lily kissing James Potter. My entire world came crashing down. How dare she! How dare she kiss my tormentor! How dare she tease me in this way! And then I remembered that she no longer was my friend. Why should I care who she is with? A part of me then realized I still loved her.
I wish I were the one she was kissing with her soft lips. Her hands lovingly stroking my face. Her red hair gently rubbing my cheeks. Her lovely green eyes staring right into my lonely soul. I loved her eyes. I would find myself lost in them.
Years went by and I still hoped she would forgive me. She never did and I became angry. I used my rage and became a death eater. The night when Voldemort told me we were going after Lily and James Potter, I couldn't do it. I could never harm the woman I loved. I went to Dumbledore and pleaded with him to save Lily. He was disgusted with me.
I was never the same after Lily died. It was like a piece of me died with her. I guess that's why I am so cruel towards Harry. He's a constant reminder of her death. However, after the death of his mother I made a vow that I would look after him. He had her eyes. The same green piercing eyes that could gaze into your soul.
I now lay dying and my life flashes before my eyes. Harry is here with me and I asked him to look at me, so for the last time, I could see her eyes.