Chapter 1- Reflections
The first minute I saw Jamie Sullivan, I knew she was different. Not just because of the outrageous dresses that she constantly wore day in and day out, but because of her personality. She was one of those people who saw the good in everyone. And to tell you the truth, it flat out pissed me off. Mainly because I wanted to be just like her, even though I would never let anybody know. Hell if I would have told my friends I wanted to follow in the footsteps of the Virgin Mary, the probably would have laughed in my face and disowned me from our group. So I kept my mouth shut.
But to be honest with you, *I* didn't even really know that I wanted to be like the kind, caring person that Jamie was until she really entered my life. I suppose the softer, mellower Landon was hiding in there somewhere, but I was just too stubborn to let him out for a while.
I was always this punk, rebel kid who would piss people off to no end to the point where they wanted to hack my head off with a chain saw. Now that I look back on it, I laugh at the things that I did in my youth hood.
I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would actually have a life with Jamie. She never seemed to be my kind of girl. Always doing good in any way she could and never complaining one bit about it. . . it kind of made me annoyed with her. I mean obviously that's no reason to dislike someone, but I had my reasons.
For one, my "clique" did not permit me to like anybody outside of our circle. But of course, me being the follower that I am- or at least, was- didn't say a word about it. I didn't want to lose my friends. If you would have called them friends at all.
Looking back on it now, I wish I had made more of an attempt to be social. You know, talked to more people and joined more activities. But I suppose that's what led me to Jamie. . . the fact that I wasn't this social butterfly who talked to other people outside my group, and I had some serious problems with obeying the laws and standards that Beaufort held for their citizens. Things definitely happen for a reason and they are all part of one major plan that God has for us. That's what Jamie would always say to me.
God's plan for Jamie and I to meet was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I couldn't thank him enough for it. She changed my life in more ways that I could have ever imagined. She was kind, patient, and had a heart of gold-God bless her soul.
But God also had a plan that would always make me feel a pang of resentment towards him. The fact that he took my Jamie away from me so quickly. That's something I will never understand the point of. How could you take away someone who made such an impact on those around her? I never understood why. Why her? That's all I wanted to know. She followed so much in his footsteps and strove to be just like him and he just took her away. I will still never understand why God does such things.
But nonetheless, I have gone on with my life. Although, there will never be another woman like Jamie. She was one in a million. I still cry myself to sleep every night and lay in the spot on our bed that her body once occupied. I still look through the telescope that I built her and find her star. I can't tell you how many nights I've just sat there and stared up at the sky, waiting for an answer as to why she had to leave me. The answer to my question would never come. And I knew it wouldn't.
Every time the wind blows through the trees, I feel Jamie's presence. I know she's there, singing her song and whispering sweet nothings in my ear like she did when she was alive. Every time I close my eyes, I relive the moments we had together. It haunts me to this very day. I can't let go. I don't want to let go-ever.
"Without suffering there'd be no compassion, Landon."
I remember her saying this, as she was moments away from her death. Her breaths becoming shallower and her skin changing to a pasty shade of white.
"Why Jamie? Why did he have to make you suffer?"
I was so angry with God for doing this to her. I thought he loved everyone. If he loved everyone as he said he did, why would he make her go through all of this pain and suffering?
"It's all part of his plan. He has a plan for all of us and-"
That's when it happened. She took her last breath as her hand slipped out of mine and hung down off of the hospital bed. I couldn't believe it; he took her away from me. But her words still echoed through my mind. All part of God's plan- and you know what? She was absolutely right.
I am going to take you through the journey that Jamie and I traveled together. Our times of joy and our times of sorrow. And I guarantee that I will tell everything like it was. This is our story, the story of Landon and Jamie Carter. The story of our life.
The first minute I saw Jamie Sullivan, I knew she was different. Not just because of the outrageous dresses that she constantly wore day in and day out, but because of her personality. She was one of those people who saw the good in everyone. And to tell you the truth, it flat out pissed me off. Mainly because I wanted to be just like her, even though I would never let anybody know. Hell if I would have told my friends I wanted to follow in the footsteps of the Virgin Mary, the probably would have laughed in my face and disowned me from our group. So I kept my mouth shut.
But to be honest with you, *I* didn't even really know that I wanted to be like the kind, caring person that Jamie was until she really entered my life. I suppose the softer, mellower Landon was hiding in there somewhere, but I was just too stubborn to let him out for a while.
I was always this punk, rebel kid who would piss people off to no end to the point where they wanted to hack my head off with a chain saw. Now that I look back on it, I laugh at the things that I did in my youth hood.
I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would actually have a life with Jamie. She never seemed to be my kind of girl. Always doing good in any way she could and never complaining one bit about it. . . it kind of made me annoyed with her. I mean obviously that's no reason to dislike someone, but I had my reasons.
For one, my "clique" did not permit me to like anybody outside of our circle. But of course, me being the follower that I am- or at least, was- didn't say a word about it. I didn't want to lose my friends. If you would have called them friends at all.
Looking back on it now, I wish I had made more of an attempt to be social. You know, talked to more people and joined more activities. But I suppose that's what led me to Jamie. . . the fact that I wasn't this social butterfly who talked to other people outside my group, and I had some serious problems with obeying the laws and standards that Beaufort held for their citizens. Things definitely happen for a reason and they are all part of one major plan that God has for us. That's what Jamie would always say to me.
God's plan for Jamie and I to meet was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I couldn't thank him enough for it. She changed my life in more ways that I could have ever imagined. She was kind, patient, and had a heart of gold-God bless her soul.
But God also had a plan that would always make me feel a pang of resentment towards him. The fact that he took my Jamie away from me so quickly. That's something I will never understand the point of. How could you take away someone who made such an impact on those around her? I never understood why. Why her? That's all I wanted to know. She followed so much in his footsteps and strove to be just like him and he just took her away. I will still never understand why God does such things.
But nonetheless, I have gone on with my life. Although, there will never be another woman like Jamie. She was one in a million. I still cry myself to sleep every night and lay in the spot on our bed that her body once occupied. I still look through the telescope that I built her and find her star. I can't tell you how many nights I've just sat there and stared up at the sky, waiting for an answer as to why she had to leave me. The answer to my question would never come. And I knew it wouldn't.
Every time the wind blows through the trees, I feel Jamie's presence. I know she's there, singing her song and whispering sweet nothings in my ear like she did when she was alive. Every time I close my eyes, I relive the moments we had together. It haunts me to this very day. I can't let go. I don't want to let go-ever.
"Without suffering there'd be no compassion, Landon."
I remember her saying this, as she was moments away from her death. Her breaths becoming shallower and her skin changing to a pasty shade of white.
"Why Jamie? Why did he have to make you suffer?"
I was so angry with God for doing this to her. I thought he loved everyone. If he loved everyone as he said he did, why would he make her go through all of this pain and suffering?
"It's all part of his plan. He has a plan for all of us and-"
That's when it happened. She took her last breath as her hand slipped out of mine and hung down off of the hospital bed. I couldn't believe it; he took her away from me. But her words still echoed through my mind. All part of God's plan- and you know what? She was absolutely right.
I am going to take you through the journey that Jamie and I traveled together. Our times of joy and our times of sorrow. And I guarantee that I will tell everything like it was. This is our story, the story of Landon and Jamie Carter. The story of our life.