Title: Unbreachable Walls
Author: Richan
Pairing: SF/LB, SF/?, LB/?
Warnings: slash, angst, mention of violence
Spoilers: thru OotP
Summary: Sometimes what seems like a happy ending is only the beginning of something worse.
AN: This bunny refused to let go, pushing all other story thoughts away. I hope you like this switch from what I regularly write.
Lavender Brown had once been beautiful. She had been one of the most popular girls in school, dating a bevy of handsome boys and talking all things gossip with her best friend Parvati Patil.
Things had most definitely changed since then.
When Voldemort's return had been announced at the end of her fifth year, Lavender had scarcely been able to believe that such a thing could happen. Her parents had told her that Harry Potter had killed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when he was a baby, and now they were telling her that he was alive once more.
She hadn't been all that fond of Harry since second year, when she'd discovered that he was able to speak to snakes. It wasn't that she thought it especially dark, it's just that she thought the hissing was too creepy for her to imagine hearing any more of it.
Lavender had listened to Seamus ranting about Harry all through fifth year, saying that his mum really hadn't wanted the two boys sharing a room, considering the Minister thought Harry was crazy. Lavender had agreed with him - after all, he was her boyfriend, and she wanted to keep him so she might as well agree with whatever he had to say. Parvati had tried to tell her that maybe she shouldn't do such a thing, but Lavender had pretended not to hear her.
Now, it was too late to do anything about it.
Seventh year, Lavender and Seamus had briefly broken up around Halloween. Mrs. Finnegan had pulled her son out of school for a death in the family - it wasn't uncommon to hear of any more - and when he got back he had stayed away. She tried for several weeks to get him to talk to her, but every time she finally got him to open up, he would seem to realize what he was about to say and then be silent.
It had been frustrating, but in the end Lavender had been successful in getting Seamus to get cozy with her once more. He had refused, point blank, to tell her of what he had been doing from the time he had left the school until the time they had gotten back together.
Seamus had been the picture perfect idea of what Lavender thought a boyfriend should be. He wasn't like Seamus' best friend, Dean, who dated Ginny Weasley. Those two fought like fiends, but Lavender never had any problems like that with Seamus. Parvati had pointed this out to her, at which point Lavender said that she didn't want to hear another word on her relationship with Seamus from Parvati, other than "how is your boyfriend doing?"
They had made it through most of their seventh year and had just finished their NEWTS when Voldemort had attacked the school. Seamus had insisted on joining Harry and Ron and the rest of the Gryffindor Seventh Year boys in the fight. Lavender had been amazed at Neville's actions during the fighting, and even more so when he managed to save her from a Death Eater who had managed to infiltrate the Great Hall.
She hadn't been able to watch Seamus for very long, as he had flown out of the door as she and many other students who hadn't wanted to fight were herded into the Great Hall to await the outcome of the battle. Lavender hadn't been able to find Seamus, even after the thing was over for another two hours, during which time she'd panicked several times.
Parvati had comforted her, never saying anything bad about Seamus, for which Lavender was most grateful. Instead, she had made sure that her friend was comfortable and had gone off to see if there was any news about Seamus and his whereabouts. Parvati had brought her a cup of hot chocolate, saying that Seamus had finally been found, but he was in hospital and that no one who was not injured was allowed in for the next day.
Lavender had worried all night over Seamus and whatever his condition could be. Parvati hadn't been able to find out exactly what was wrong, but only that it wasn't life threatening. When the time had come to go to bed, Parvati had guided her up the stairs to Gryffindor tower, navigating their way amongst some of the younger Slytherins, who were too afraid to go down into the dungeons. Lavender had understood their fears - she liked being up high, where she could see if danger was approaching, rather than holed up under ground, where there was little room for escape.
The morning had been quiet and the sun had not quite risen when Lavender decided that she would go down and see how Seamus was doing. Quietly, she changed her wrinkled robes and put on makeup, determined to look her best for Seamus. Lavender glanced at Parvati, making sure that her friend was still asleep. After all, there was no reason to wake her up, when Lavender wasn't all that sure that Seamus would be awake himself.
Creeping along the darkened hallways, Lavender stopped several times when she thought there was someone near. It happened once more in the corridor before the hospital wing, and she turned back to face the shadows, pulling her wand from her sleeve.
"Who's there?" she had demanded.
Nothing answered, but she didn't want to take any chances. Her wand lit, she used its light to find that no person was there, only Mrs. Norris. Lavender found she pitied the cat, Filch having been killed for being a useless squib when the Death Eaters couldn't use him as a way into the school in the fall. Now the cat wandered the halls like she always had, but no there was no Filch to catch Lavender in the act.
Huffing slightly at the situation, she had sternly told herself to get a grip on herself, that it was only stupid Mrs. Norris, and that she should be on her way.
Finally, she arrived at the hospital wing. Inside, she could hear there was still a lot of activity going on within its walls. Lavender, concerned for Seamus, opened the door slowly.
Surprisingly, no one had noticed her move from bed to bed, trying to find Seamus among the many patients. She had found Hermione, then Ron, but no Seamus and no Harry. McGonagall had announced, before releasing the students to move around the safe parts of school, that no one had died, but that several students were seriously injured enough that healers from St. Mungo's had needed to be called in. Those patients would be staying in a more private section of Madam Pomfrey's domain.
Lavender had already looked around the entire main room of the hospital wing, so that left only the private section her head of house had mentioned. Cautiously, in case someone was there to tell her she couldn't enter, she opened the door to find a maze of rooms with several people flying out of only a few.
She could have sworn that Professor Lupin had been one of them, but she wasn't sure in the dim hallway. The sun had just peaked over the horizon, but not enough to light the north side of the castle where they were. She squinted, but he was gone by the time she had focused her sight.
Most of the doors were open, revealing most of her fellow students in varying states of serious physical health. She had found Dean and Neville, but still no Seamus.
Lavender had just decided that she would walk right past the scurrying healers and other adults when the headmaster's voice announced in the hallways that anyone able to should report to the Great Hall.
Suddenly time was very pressing. Lavender figured that she had about twenty minutes to look around before she absolutely had to be in the Great Hall - it would take most of the students that long to wake, use the toilet, and head downstairs to the first floor. Most of the adults in the area had flown out of this section, making one last check on the patients still in the main room.
Moving slowly forward, Lavender pushed open a semi-closed door to reveal Seamus sitting up in a chair, next to a bed that held a heavily bandaged Harry Potter. She opened her mouth to greet her boyfriend, who still hadn't noticed her, when he spoke.
"You have to get better, Harry. Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey said that you would, but I'm not going to stop worrying until you wake up." Seamus paused and swallowed hard enough that Lavender could hear it from the doorway.
Her heart stopped when she saw Seamus reach for and grab hold of Harry's left hand, which lay on the white sheets, his skin almost as pale as the bandage that started halfway up his forearm. Seamus held tight to the hand, but still loose enough as not to harm Harry. It started when he was silent once more. A burst of pride tore through Lavender's chest when she realized that Seamus was trying to comfort his friend, even when he was obviously still recovering himself.
Seamus wore a bandage around his head, a thick pad of bandages held to his right temple. He also had several bruises along his arms, and one ankle, she couldn't tell which at this angle, was also bandaged. Concern and worry flooded down her veins, and Lavender stepped forward in an effort to reach out and comfort him.
"I'm glad that you were able to help me all that time ago, Harry," Seamus suddenly said, cutting off Lavender's attempt to reach her boyfriend. "I don't think I would have been able to live through everything if you hadn't been there."
He shook his head. "I still can't believe that they caught me after the funeral. I'm just glad that Professor Lupin got me out when he did."
A light went on in Lavender's head, but didn't pay much attention to it. She wanted to know what else Seamus had to say. Was this why Seamus hadn't wanted to speak to her for those five weeks? Because he'd been caught by Death Eaters?
If he was, it was terrible! Lavender could hardly think of what they might have done to her boyfriend to make him withdraw so deeply into himself like he had.
Her heart stopped again when Seamus struggled to his feet and leaned over Harry to stroke his hair with a free hand.
It broke when she watched Seamus lean down and brush Harry's lips with his own.
"I'm sorry I said those things to you yesterday. I know I should have told Lavender a long time ago, but... I thought.... I don't know what I was thinking."
"You should have told me what?" Lavender asked, walking into the room, a furious feeling welling from deep inside her. "That you were cheating on me? That you could tell Harry what happened to you but not your own girlfriend?"
Seamus released Harry's hand and shakily turned towards Lavender. "Lav-"
"Don't call me that! You have no right!"
Seamus sighed and fell back into the chair. Lavender registered that he was no longer able to stand of his own volition, but at the moment she could have cared less. All she could feel was anger. Anger that she'd been duped. Anger that she'd been played. And Anger that she should have listened to Parvati when she said that she should give Seamus space.
"Lavender," Seamus slowly said, his voice exhausted sounding.
Her anger fled at his tired voice, leaving Lavender drained of all animation. "Why couldn't you tell me?"
He closed his sweet, blue eyes and wiped a hand over them and his lightly freckled nose. He opened his eyes and looked directly into her own.
"Because the woman who did this looked just like you."
Lavender collapsed to the floor. "What? What... did she do?"
Seamus seemed to hold back a sob. "I... I can't tell you, Lav. I don't want you to feel... to feel...." He broke into sobs, almost convulsing in their violence.
Lavender's own eyes spilled over as she thought of what must have happened to Seamus. They both sat for what seemed like forever, the only sounds in the room was their crying and Harry's slightly wheezy breathing.
She had just gotten herself under control when a third voice sounded in the room.
"Shay?" Harry's voice cracked in the middle of the name, breaking out in a series of body shaking coughs.
Seamus managed to stand and swept his hand down the side of Harry's face. "I'm here, Harry. Everything's all right. I'm sorry. Ishouldhavejusttoldyou," he rushed through.
"Wha?" Harry asked as Lavender slowly stood.
"You won, Harry," Seamus said in a teary voice. But she could hear the happiness underlying it. "You fought the bastard and you won." He paused. "And I'm sorry for what I said yesterday, Harry. I shouldn't have said it like that. I... I only meant that..."
"Shhh," Harry squeaked out. "You don' have to 'splain."
Lavender made her way to the door, looking back only once to see the picture the two made. Seamus was leaning over Harry, their lips lightly touching in a scene that made her broken heart weep just a little bit harder. Turning back to the door, she steeled herself for what she had to do and walked out of the room.
For many years after that, Lavender had tried to find the perfect guy. She dated what had to be a hundred men, looking for the elusive quality that she thought Seamus had.
When she was twenty-five, she met what she thought to be the man who was even more perfect that Seamus had ever been. Tall, blond, and handsome, he was rich enough to buy whatever Lavender wanted. She tried not to take advantage of that fact, but he loved to shower her with love and gifts.
This time, Parvati said nothing. Her best friend was happily married with her second child on the way, too busy to spend much time with Lavender and her new beau.
So, it was after a whirlwind romance of six months that Lavender said "I do" to her perfect man and they set out to begin married life together.
It wasn't like anything she had thought it would be.
As soon as they arrived at his house, her new husband had laid down new rules that she was to follow. She would give him an heir, regardless of how many pregnancies it would take. She was to keep the house sparkling clean without the use of a house elf. And she was, first and foremost, to look beautiful at all times.
Lavender had endured through this, depending on the quality that had made her a Gryffindor all those years ago when she first entered Hogwarts. She had given birth to four healthy baby girls, suffered through seven miscarriages, and finally presented her husband with a son. Satisfied, her husband took his son and left her and their daughters in poverty, while the two males lived a life of luxury in the Mediterranean.
Poverty had not been kind to Lavender, but she endured that just like she had her marriage. She had tried to reach out to the friends her husband had forbidden her to contact, but Parvati had moved to a remote outpost in Africa, where her husband was studying occult witchcraft. She had even tried to contact Hermione, her former dorm mate, but had only been granted a brief interview with the woman at the Ministry before another crisis rose up for the Deputy Minister.
Defeated, she had returned home and raised her daughters as best she knew how. Her husband refused tuition for Hogwarts, so Lavender taught them as best she could, cursing herself for not applying to her studies harder when she had been younger. Still, her daughters had turned out very well.
It wasn't until her eldest became engaged to a young man that Lavender met up with another old friend. The fianc's parents held a small gathering to which some of the family's friends had been invited. Lavender had dressed carefully in the old robe she had rescued from the attic and attended the thing only to please her daughter.
Just as she was about to leave, a couple of late arrivals stalled her as they exited the fireplace.
"Lavender?"
She closed her eyes at the sound of the familiar voice. She hadn't recognized the handsome man in front of her, blue eyes sparkling with happiness as he helped his companion off the floor where he had tumbled.
"Thanks, Shay," his companion said.
She mustered up what was left of her courage and looked at Seamus Finnegan and Harry Potter standing before her. Both men had aged handsomely, filling out to make fine specimens of the male animal. Suddenly Lavender felt dowdy in her borrowed robes against the brilliant, gold-stitched affairs they wore.
"Lavender? How are you doing?" Seamus asked brightly.
She noticed there was a slight scar on his temple as she answered, "fine. Fine. I was just going to check on my other daughters." She gave a tight smile to the two. "If you would please excuse me?"
"Um, sure," Harry said as he moved out of the way.
Lavender grabbed a pinch of floo powder as she heard her daughter come up and greet them. Stepping into the green flame and calling out her destination, she heard her eldest say, "I hope she comes back to talk. I thought you could talk about your school years."
Swept into the floo network, all Lavender could wish for was that she could go back, before she discovered there were some walls that could not be breached, no matter how hard she tried.