The T.V. show Hogan's Heroes belongs to Bing Crosby Productions. No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred, and no infringement is intended.
This story is in answer to the "Word Challenge" to use Oration and Powder in a story. Thanks for the challenge, Lauren. I hope you have as much fun reading as I did writing.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
By Marty Miller Breedlove
"You're kidding! For what?" Hogan stared at his radio operator in disbelief, "Who would give Hochstetter an award?"
"Apparently, Gestapo headquarters in Berlin. At least that is the information the Underground has." Kinch was as disbelieving as his commanding officer.
Hogan's surprise changed into the start of a smile. His eyes drifted off of the Sergeant, as he thought. Gradually the smile turned into a grin, and the spark in Hogan's eyes flashed with amusement. "You know, Kinch, I think it is our duty to make sure this is a memorable event!"
*************
"Yes, General Burkhalter, you are putting me in charge of arrangements! Who's going to be there? But isn't he a Gestapo General? Why isn't the Gestapo setting this up? Yes sir, shut up and do as I'm told. Uh huh, they have a war to fight. Well, I'd like to think we are fighting the war by keeping the prisoners from escaping back into battle. Yes sir…yes sir…a stand for the officials, loud speaker, banners…uh hum. The prisoners? I don't know, Colonel Hogan will ask for concessions and…yes sir…it's not your problem…I will work that out. We will have everything ready, and may I say I am honored to… What? Oh yes, Heil Hitler" Klink waved his hand in the air in a weak salute as the phone clicked dead in his ear.
**************
"Where's the Colonel?" Kinch asked arriving back in the barrack from the tunnels below.
"Schultz came to get him, and said the Kommandant wanted to see him." Newkirk looked up at Kinch, "Problems?"
" No, the Colonel just wanted…" Before Kinch could finish his explanation, the barrack door opened and Colonel Hogan entered smiling from ear to ear.
"You're never going to believe this! Klink just offered us the opportunity to build the platform and hang banners for Hochstetter"s award ceremony in Hammelburg. I thought I'd have to do a hard sell to get Klink to let us prepare that stage, and he plops it in our laps. Not only that, but we're getting 30 minutes more electric light for the next two week-ends, two sheets of writing paper for each man, and no work details the day of the volleyball tournament. I almost felt guilty considering what we're planning." Hogan turned to grab his coffee cup. "Almost!" he emphasized.
Hogan looked around at the smiles on the faces of his men and noticed that, although Kinch looked pleased, he obviously had something more on his mind. Hogan simply looked at Kinch, raised an eyebrow, and gave him that "what is it" look. Kinch joined the Colonel at the table and took a seat across from him.
"The Underground found out the reason for Hochstetter's award. The Major was responsible for setting up checkpoints at various spots along the roads leading into Hammelburg, in order to try and get a handle on the sabotage activity going on in the area. They happened to get lucky. The Gestapo stopped a truck carrying guns and ammo for the Underground…" Kinch was interrupted.
"Blimey, they're giving him an award for that! How many guns were on that truck?" Newkirk questioned.
"Yeah, that does seem like a pretty weak excuse to throw a party," Carter added.
"Well, that's not the reason for the ceremony. The driver got away but, they traced the truck back to a produce company that was a center for distributing gun's and supplies to Underground networks across Germany. The driver had time to warn the workers, but they didn't have time to get the supplies out." Kinch finished.
LeBeau gave a whistle, "That will effect every aspect of Underground activity for months."
"It certainly will make it more difficult to ruin enemy plans, without guns and ammo," Hogan agreed. "So that's why 'Wolfie's' getting a pat on the back. They want to put a scare into the good people of Hammelburg and hope somebody talks." Hogan downed the rest of his coffee and added, "With that in mind, gentlemen, gather around and lets make some plans."
************
"How's it going, Carter? Are you about finished?" Hogan asked. The Colonel had been running diversionary tactics on the soldiers sent to guard them, while they worked to set up the stage and banners.
Hogan headed down from the stage and stopped the guard that was on his way up the steps. The Colonel pulled out a cigarette and blocked the German asking, "Light, bitte?" The man paused for a moment, looking past Hogan, and then reached into his pocket pulling out some matches and lit the Colonel's cigarette. The young Private then continued on, as Hogan looked back and saw Carter finishing his task at the podium.
A little while latter, as the American Colonel was standing out in front of the stage, assessing the job being done, a German staff car arrived.
"Colonel Hogan," Klink called as he stepped out of the back of the car.
Hogan turned and saw Klink approaching him. "Oh, hi, Kommandant, here to check on us?"
"Yes, Hogan, it looks like you're about done," Klink said relieved, as he looked around at the work they had accomplished. Hogan looked distracted for a moment.
"I said, it looks like you're finished," Klink repeated, and waited for his senior POW to confirm his observations.
"Excuse me for a minute, Kommandant. KINCH!" Hogan called as he walked to meet his Sergeant half way. They stood and talked for a minute and then Hogan returned to Klink and said, "Yes, Kommandant, just one more adjustment and we'll be finished."
"What is Kinch doing with that ladder?" Klink asked, watching as Kinch climbed onto the roof of the building that was acting as a backdrop for the stage.
"He's just adjusting the tension on the canopy, it looks like we may get some rain tonight, I just want to make sure it's tight." Hogan smiled, as Kinch accomplished his task and headed down the ladder. Newkirk waved and gave a 'thumbs up' from stage left and patted his pockets, trying to locate his cigarettes.
"Hey, Louis, are you about done?" Hogan called. LeBeau came out from around the stage skirting he was tacking in place and announced, "Oui, mon Colonel, everything is complete."
"Looks like that's it, Kommandant," Hogan beamed.
************
Eight a. m. the morning of the ceremony"You sent for me, Kommandant?" Hogan asked entering Klink's office. He was surprised to see Burkhalter, sitting in a chair, next to Klink's desk.
"I sent for you, Hogan," Burkhalter leaned back in his chair, looking at Hogan. "We have decided it would be good to have you present at the ceremony observing, and learning that the Allies are no match for Nazi Germany."
~ Swell. I was hoping Klink and Burkhalter would have time to calm down before I had to face the music. But it looks like I get to be there in the heat of the action. ~
"Yes, Hogan, a few propaganda pictures with General Burkhalter, me, and you listening to Major Hochstetter's glorious "oration", on how he out smarted the Underground." Klink stood and arrogantly marched around his desk. "Now, go and get dressed, we will be leaving in an hour."
Hogan looked down at his clothes and then back at the Kommandant, shrugging he said, "I am dressed."
"This is a formal affair, Colonel Hogan. Put on your dress uniform!" Klink ordered.
"I only wear my dress uniform for special occasions," Hogan said, sarcastically.
"Hogan!" Klink chastised.
"Oh all right," Hogan said turning and heading for the door. ~Sometimes I wish the red cross had never brought me that uniform. ~ Upon reaching the door he turned back, "Do I have permission to shower, Kommandant?" ~Might as well get what I can out of this…while the getting's good. ~
"Yes, Hogan," Burkhalter answered, "We want you to look well cared for when we send these pictures to London."
Hogan gave a disgusted salute and exited.
*******
Two hours later, Hogan, found himself sitting between Klink and Burkhalter on the stage, listening to the Propaganda minister natter on and on about the victorious Third Reich. Hogan glanced at the canopy over head, and then at his watch, wondering how long one man could talk about nothing. Finally, Hochstetter was introduced and approached the podium, as the crowd applauded. Klink, while applauding, frowned at Hogan who was sitting with his arms folded across his chest.
~ No way am I applauding, Kommandant. Apart from being on the opposite side of the war he's a mad man. ~ Hogan thought.
Arriving at the podium, Hochstetter reached for the microphone to lower it, adjusting it for his shorter height. This lowering set off the chain reaction.
The gun "powder" in the base of the microphone attached to the podium was ignited, sending out a minor explosion of black powder and smoke which settled prominently on Hochstetters face. From there the electrical current traveled down the wiring that had been strung under the stage, leading to two small charges located on the front footings, supporting either side of the stand, the resulting explosions effectively blew out the supports and caused the front of the stage to drop. Hogan stood and dove for the back of the platform and grabbed onto the railing, just as the German officers, seated on the stage, began to tumble and roll forward, landing in a pile in the mud created by the thunderstorms that had rolled through the area the night before.
Hogan looked up waiting for the grand finale. Kinch had diverted the guttering from the building supporting the canopy, to flow onto the awning, forming a pocket of water that effectively deluged the German officers as they flailed and kicked in the muddy mire they had been tossed into. Hogan stood holding onto a support strut at the back of the stage, well away from the fiasco that was occurring in front of him, grinning, what Klink called, his "insufferable self satisfied grin" with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Is it time for those propaganda pictures?" Hogan called out.
Hoogaann!!! Came the three voice chorus from somewhere in the twisted mass of arms and legs in the mud before him, causing the American Colonel to laugh even louder.
~ This…~ He thought. ~…is worth every minute of the 30 days I'm going to end up spending in the cooler! ~ Hogan was still laughing when they locked the cell door.
THE END