(A/N:Please note that despite this being a "self"-insert fic I will only include a bare minimum of information about my past. I will write my true personality and abilities (though, like any character, these will develop as the story continues.) My reason for this is quite simple, I am a very private person in real life. Now, you might ask yourself " If you'e so private then why are you writing a self-insert fic?" The answer? Because I've wanted to for a long time and I've finally worked up the courage to do so.

Warnings: Through out the story there will be copious amounts of swearing and it will get progressively darker.

* If you shine a light on the stomach of a woman in her third trimester the baby can see it.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this prologue and please review (constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.))

"So as through a glass and darkly, the age long strife I see, Where I fought in many guises, many names, but always me." - General George S. Patton

Prologue - Rebirth

Jodie twitched, her senses slowly coming back to her. She tried to stretch in an effort to loosen her stiff joints but found that her body was somehow bound. Jodie struggled to open her eyes and when she finally did, she was in for the shock of her life.

Pink, pink everywhere! Everything felt wet and … squishy?

What the hell is going on?

She kicked her feet in frustration only to recoil in disgust. Whatever Jodie's feet had touched it had the same texture of cooked pasta, tender and slippery. She froze when the sound of a stranger's voice reached her.

"Did you feel it? She kicked again, it was a hard one too!" The voice was a woman's, that much Jodie could be sure of.

"She didn't hurt you did she? I saw you wince a moment ago." It was a man's voice this time and he sounded worried.

Jodie's heart was warmed by how much the stranger cared for the woman. She enjoyed the feeling for a moment before their words finally registered. Were they talking about when she had moved her legs? She pondered this for a moment before shaking her head in an attempt to ward off the thought. The only way the woman could have felt it was if Jodie had accidently kicked and she hadn't felt her feet collide anything that could be a human body.

Right now the most important thing was figuring just where the hell she was. Jodie frowned as she struggled to remember the last thing that had happened to her. It was snowing and she had run on to the road to grab her cat, JD. The stupid animal had stopped in the middle of the road again and a dump truck was barrelling down the road. Jodie remembered picking up Jack Daniels then …

Said woman grunted, her mind going blank. Jodie squeezed her eyes shut and scowled as she forced herself to remember what happened next.

Headlights, a blaring horn, and a blinding pain exploding across the left half of her body was all her mind would give her. She gasped and her eyes flew open as a theory surfaced.

Am I … dead?

No … no, no! She was always supposed to go last! Mom and Jesse would be crushed if she died before them, Jodie knew. She would be able to handle it if they died. She would grieve, offer herself hollow words of comfort then she'd move on. That was how it was supposed to be, she would be the last to go! After what happened to her dad there was no way she could die first. She was the rock, the patient one that people vented to. What would her family do without her?

Jodie felt her eyes burn then throat began to constrict. She couldn't be dead if she could still move. Even as she thought it Jodie noticed something odd. Her limbs were smaller and oddly formed. They almost seemed less developed and chubbier, almost like a … baby's. Her eyebrows furrowed and she gave her arms a hard stare.

… Oh, hell no. That can't be right.

It took a while to make them listen but Jodie finally moved and placed her hands on her face. It definitely felt smaller and more malleable. Jodie glanced down at her body and bit back a scream before she began to thrash in earnest.

I'm a fucking baby!

"Oh my, Peanut is certainly active today!"

Screw you, woman!

Jodie had come up with a simple way to avoid thinking about her family and her death: try to figure out just what the fuck was happening.

Jodie only had a rough idea how much time had passed or how far along the woman (Jodie discovered that her name was Doreen) was in her pregnancy. The adult turned baby spent most of her time trying to remember what she had read on the internet about pregnancy and had come up with a rough timeline. Given how hard it had been to open her eyes, Jodie assumed it had been her first time doing that which meant that Doreen has been about twenty-six weeks (six and a half months) along.

Maybe a month had passed since then, two months at the most which meant she was in the third trimester now. Jodie's line of thought was broken as rays of light* filtered through the wall of her pris- um, womb. She sighed and squirmed in the usual manner. Jodie rolled her eyes at the sound of Doreen giggling in delight.

Jodie would forever deny that she smiled just a little at the childish sound.

Jodie was jolted awake from one of her usual naps by an odd tightening sensation but before she could figure out what it was, it was gone. She blinked before attempting to shrug, she closed her eyes again. Womb had became so tight that Jodie was surprised she could still manage even that.

There it was again! It was almost like someone had grabbed her with both hands and squeezed.

Wait a second, how far along is Doreen now?

While Jodie tried to remember this tiny fact, the woman carrying her whimpered in pain. The baby's eyes widened when everything finally clicked.

My God, she's going into labour!

Jodie heard Doreen shout for Kenzo (her husband) and afterwards there was a flurry of activity. Panic, stop panicking, grab the bags, get out the door, get in the car, drive like hell.

Meanwhile, only one thought registered in Jodie's head:

I'm going to be free… finally free!

Said baby resisted the mad urge to cackle.

She was so busy pondering this happy prospect that she didn't notice the car screeching to a halt or her … well, Kenzo leaping out of the car. She didn't even notice when Doreen manoeuvred herself in to a wheelchair or when the happy (but shocked) couple checked into the maternity ward.

What Jodie did notice was when the time between contractions seemed nonexistent. She could hear the woman screaming obscenities at her unsuspecting husband, raging on about how was his fault and why, oh why did he want to have a baby so soon and how he should go to hell for placing her in this situation. Then abruptly it all stopped, Jodie blinked in surprise as a pleasant but cool sensation flowed through her. She 'hmm'ed as her eyes slid part way closed.

Thank God, she got the epidural. There was no way Jodie could have known that her thought was echoed by everyone else in the room.

Twenty minutes later and Jodie felt herself moving, not in the usual squirm-because-there's-nothing-better-to-do sort of way. It was like someone was trying shove her through a tube … well, that was what someone was trying to do.

Give me a moment and I'll do it my damn self! Jodie snarled in her head but froze when and odd but familiar feeling breezed across the top of her head. It was air (sweet, beautiful, glorious air) that she felt.

Jodie squirmed want nothing than to be out and the next thing she knew, she was! The doctor cradled her in his hands, the corners of his brown crinkling as he grinned. Before Jodie could so much as wiggle her feet the OB-GYN whipped her around and smacked her bottom.

Da fuq, bruh! Don't touch my ass!

Instead of a stream of curse words, a high pitched, nails-on-a-chalkboard type scream tore its way out of her throat. Jodie drew in a deep breath of her precious air as her mental tirade continued,

You fucking motherfucker, what do you think you're doing, touching my goddamn ass? Go to hell, you perverted ass-

Even more and miraculously louder screams that almost drowned out the doctor's announcement.

"It's a beautiful baby girl," His grin looked tight, like he struggling not to throw Jodie away from him, "and a perfectly formed one at that!"

Kenzo's brows furrowed,

""Perfectly formed" what does that mean?"

"It means a baby that is born with hair, eyebrows, and that everything is fully formed."

Partway through the doctors reply, Jodie stopped crying and was suddenly aware of having been born. Squirming helplessly and trying to turn her head toward her new parents to finally see what they looked like. Jodie quickly became frustrated in her fruitless endeavours and began to cry again. The doctor twitched and was quick to hand the wriggling baby to her parents.

Kenzo jolted and cautiously allowed his baby girl to transferred into his arms since the doctor decided to let Doreen rest for a moment. He swallowed nervously when she simply stared back, no smile, no squirming, she just … stared and looked far older than any newborn he had ever seen.

Jodie, on the other hand, hungrily drank in every detail of Kenzo's face. After months of looking at nothing but the inside of a womb and her own body, she was ecstatic to finally see something else.

Light brown and wide eyes whose colour reminded her of tanned leather. A slightly tanned complexion with a short flat nose that looked as though it had been broken before. A short, wide face and thin lips that were stretched into a grin. Dark brown hair and equally dark eyebrows completed the man's features. Judging by the tilt of his eyes it was obvious that he was at least half Asian, though which nationality Jodie couldn't be sure. Jodie would place him at about twenty, maybe twenty-one.

"Can I hold her now, Kenzo?"

Both the baby and man jolted at Doreen's voice. They had been so intent on each other that they had forgotten about the other people in the room. Kenzo nodded before leaning down and carefully depositing Jodie in his wife's arms.

The moment Jodie could finally see Doreen she was momentarily stupefied at the pure love and awe in the woman's dark blue eyes. Try as hard as she could, Jodie couldn't remember anyone looking at her like that and it … scared her. She fought down the natural urge to cry but a few whimpers somehow slipped by.

"Oh, shh, honey, it's all right. Mommy and daddy are here, there's nothing to be afraid of." Doreen rubbed her thumb against her daughter's small cheek, full lips pulled into a gentle smile.

Contrary to her hopes, this did not help. Jodie gasped and started to pant, tears in her eyes and a scream already building up in her throat. She was finally realizing that these people were her new parents. She would never see her mother or her brother again. Her old life was over and she was stuck in a strange world filled with people didn't know.

Jodie only remembered feeling this kind of rip-your-heart-out-just-to-stop-it pain once before. It was on her way back from the first family reunion after her father died, when she finally realized that he was dead and wasn't coming back. When she had finally accepted that it was his body she had walked by, not some stranger's. When she finally figured out that the police questioning her, repeatedly asking who she thought might have murdered him on her family's front lawn, hadn't some fucked up dream. She had only experienced this pain when she concluded that her father wasn't coming back, that he wasn't going to tell her that he loved or hug her ever again.

The entire time leading up to that she remembered think the same sentence over and over:

No way this could have happened to my family. We live on a farm in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, my father was a good person. He's not dead, he can't be. This kind of shit doesn't happen here.

Jodie was twelve years old when police escorted her past her father's dead body.

Back in the present, Jodie continued to bawl while her new guardians (she refused to call them parents) panicked.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything except rub her cheek!"

Doreen looked down at her screaming baby, not bothering to brush a piece of sweaty golden brown hair away from her eyes. She frowned as she tried to figure out what to do before decided the best course of action was to simply hold the baby girl closer. She pressed Jodie's body against her shoulder and rubbed her cheek against the baby's.

"Be quiet, little one, it's all right. You're safe now, nothing can hurt you." Doreen crooned in the naturally soft voice that belonged to all mother's comforting a child.

Control yourself, goddammit! You've already been on this planet close to nineteen years and have experienced more than most adults do in a lifetime! You don't just up and start bawling over a look!

Doreen continued to murmur reassurances in Jodie's ear until her sobs finally subsided. She continued hiccough and whimper for a few more minutes but had thankfully had stopped wailing.

Jodie was wiggling, wanting to get a better look at the woman who gave birth to her a second time around. The older woman obeyed her daughter's silent command and the squirming baby away from her. When Jodie finally saw the woman's face she was once again shocked by what she saw, Doreen looked eerily like her.

A strong jaw line that looked far too masculine when paired with short hair. High cheekbones and a short wide nose paired with narrow, deep-set eyes. They even had the same hair (golden brown) and eyebrow (dark brown) colours!

Jodie blinked herself out of her stupor gave what she hoped was a cute smile.

Well, at least we look alike.

"What should we name her?" Kenzo had leaned over them and was peering down at the suddenly quiet child, "Adelheid seems like a good name."

Doreen frowned and shook her head,

"Her name should be Japanese, she'll look foreign enough without an odd name to make it worse."

Kenzo frowned and racked his brain for a name that would fit. Time seemed to slow down as he remembered the look she had given him. The look that said that she knew who he was and that she was fully aware of her surroundings.

"How about Chie?"

Doreen turned her head to stare at her husband incredulously,

"You want to give a baby that just spent the last ten minutes bawling for no reason, a name that means 'wisdom'?"

What might have passed as an affronted look slapped itself on to Jodie's pudgy face,

Lets see you get pushed out of a strange woman's vagina and have get spanked by some random guy and see how you feel!

"You… you didn't see the look she gave me a while ago. It was like … an adult was looking back at me."

Doreen continued to stare at Kenzo for a moment before she finally looked away. She smiled down at Jodie for a moment before nodding.

"Chie Nakano… it certainly has a nice ring to it."