Untitled
Kathryn Janeway sighed as she entered the briefing room on the Maquis ship, Liberty. For three months now, her Starfleet crew had been trying to integrate itself into the Maquis crew, but to no avail. Many fights had broken out, mostly started by the Maquis. She looked up from the PADD that she held at Captain Chakotay. He stood with his back to her, looking out the window at the starscape. Kathryn was about to clear her throat to get his attention when he faced her.
"Ah, Captain," he greeted her. "Please, take a seat."
"I prefer to stand," she retorted.
Chakotay shrugged. He looked evenly at the woman that was now his second in command. Since the first moment he had seen her across the view screen, he had known that he would ultimately fall in love with her. Her strong features and even stronger will were incredibly attractive to him. Now, standing before him, he no longer saw the Starfleet officer that he had first met. He saw the woman behind the officer starting to break through. Her hair was half up and hung down passed her shoulders. Much better, he thought, than the Starfleet issue bun that it had been caged in the day they met. About a month prior, she had shed the standard Starfleet uniform as well in favor of the more comfortable Maquis clothing. He inwardly smiled. He had been right about falling for this woman.
Kathryn had to admit to herself that his eyes roaming over her body sent a sensation of butterflies to her stomach and tingling to her limbs. Since almost the first moment she had seen him across the view screen she had felt a connection to him. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks and tried to cover it with one of her hands.
"I came to discuss these disputes between our crewmen," she said, trying to break the tension between them.
'Ah, yes. The never ending feud,' Chakotay thought.
"How many this time?" he asked, sitting in a nearby chair.
"Five in the passed three days," she told him and then scrolled through her PADD. "This morning B'Elanna Torres broke Lieutenant Carey's nose."
"B'Elanna's been know to push people out of her way," Chakotay commented.
"Push! If she had hit him any harder, bone would have punctured his cerebellum!"
She stepped closer to him and thrust the PADD of information at him.
"See for yourself," she demanded.
Chakotay calmly took the PADD from her, taking note of the slight flush in her cheeks. Well, she was right. The report from sickbay said exactly what she had told him.
"I'll speak to B'Elanna myself," he said, placing the PADD on the table.
Kathryn stood up straighter and crossed her arms.
"That's it?" she asked.
Chakotay sighed.
"What more do you want me to do, Kathryn?" he asked in return.
She ignored the tingly feeling she got when he called her Kathryn and forced her voice to hide the anger she felt.
"I want you to captain you crew," she demanded.
"This isn't Starfleet, Kathryn and we're not going to follow your pristine regulations. We're Maquis and so are you right now and for the next 75 years. Deal with it," he thundered.
Kathryn took a deep breath, not wanting to lose her composure. Yes, she was forced to join her Starfleet crew with the very people that she had been sent to capture, but she didn't have to like it.
"Granted, we aren't on a Starfleet vessel, but my people have studied and strived their whole lives to get into Starfleet. You're asking them to accept people that haven't even graduated from the Academy as their superiors," she told him.
"Yet you and they accept me as your captain," he countered.
His eyes pierced through her, daring her to answer.
"That's a completely different story," she replied.
"Is it?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"You're qualified. You're a graduate of the Academy. You've had Command School training and command experience," she replied.
Chakotay stood and walked over to her, she tentatively let him place his hands on her shoulder.
"That explains why Captain Janeway and her crew accept me, but what about Kathryn Janeway? Does the woman behind the officer accept me?" he whispered.
Kathryn heard her heart start pounding in her ears as his hand made its way up to her cheek. Her breath caught as she looked up into his eyes. They starred back at her with the same amount of longing as her's showed him. They suddenly flicked down to look at her mouth. He was going to kiss her! The door to the room suddenly slid open and they jumped apart like a couple of guilty teenagers. Chakotay looked over Kathryn's head at the smoldering face of Seska.
"I should have known," Seska barked. "I knew letting Starfleet on this ship would be a mistake."
"The only mistake is you barging in places you don't belong," Chakotay snapped.
"I belong wherever you are. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn't walked on," she said, crossing her arms.
Kathryn felt that her blush had sufficiently left her cheeks and turned to face Seska who's own face had taken on a pinkish hue.
"What are you looking at, Starfleet? I don't answer to you," Seska challenged her.
Kathryn was about to retort when Chakotay spoke up.
"Yes you do, Seska. You all answer to her," he thundered.
"Chakotay, she . . ."
"I don't want to hear it!" he interrupted her. "Yes, she's Starfleet, but she's also my first officer which makes her your superior. Deal with it!"
"Do you have any idea how the rest of the crew is taking this, Chakotay? Not to mention that slut was about to kiss you. What happened to you Chakotay? What happened to us?" Seska countered.
Kathryn stood quietly, allowing Chakotay to reprimand his own crewman. When Seska crossed the line and called her a slut, she nearly lost her cool composure. Chakotay placed a hand on her arm to restrain her from ripping Seska's eyes out and she looked up at him.
"There is no "us" anymore, Seska. There hasn't been an "us" in quite sometime. Stop acting like a jealous woman," Chakotay demanded.
"Jealous? Of her? You've got to be kidding," Seska retorted.
"Then what are you doing here?" he yelled.
"Preventing you from making a mistake," she replied.
Chakotay snapped. This woman drove him crazy! He wasn't going to let her get away with calling Kathryn a slut and he definitely was not going to let her parade around like they were still together. In one fluid motion, he pulled Kathryn into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers. Kathryn stiffened in his arms and pushed against his chest. He tightened his arms around her and placed a hand behind her head to prevent her escape.
He heard her sigh after a few more seconds of struggling, then her muscles relaxed and her arms wound around his neck. Her hands found their way to the back of his head and held him there, unable to break the kiss. Her lips hungrily accepted his and parted slightly. He took the opportunity to completely claim her mouth. A soft whimper escaped her as the world spun beneath their feet. Seska no longer existed, the room faded and the stars burned themselves out.
Kathryn couldn't help herself. This man had completely captured her since the moment they had met face to face on Voyager's bridge. She leaned into the kiss, giving herself completely to it, knowing that it was futile. Her need for oxygen made her pull away from Chakotay and take a deep breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her eye shined. The room came back into existence and the stars burned brighter than they had for centuries.
Chakotay looked down at Kathryn, brushing a stray lock of her hair from her face and smiled. He looked up only to see that Seska had left. Kathryn looked toward the door as well and almost felt a sense of victory at seeing the female Bajoran not thee any longer.
Chakotay noticed the smirk on Kathryn face and looked at her questioningly. Kathryn looked away from the door and back up at him. Suddenly, he was stumbling backward and she was backing away from him, shaking her head.
"This is impossible. This can't be happening," she said, covering her face with one hand and putting the other on her hip.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay questioned.
"This cant be happening," she said, lifting her other hand to her face.
Chakotay reached her in two strides and grabbed her wrists.
"Kathryn, what . . ."
"Don't touch me," she hissed, trying to pull her wrists free of his fists.
Chakotay tightened his grasp and pulled her toward him.
"Two minutes ago you were kissing me and twisting your fingers in my hair and now you don't want me to touch you?"
"Oh, God, why," she whispered.
"Why what? What's wrong?" Chakotay demanded.
"I can't . . . we can't . . ." she stuttered, looking up at him.
"We can't what? This isn't Starfleet, Kathryn," he whispered.
She stopped trying to get away from him and took a deep breath.
"You're right, this isn't a Starfleet vessel, but I'm a Starfleet captain. I follow the Prime Directive to the letter and it forbids me from falling for my superior officer be he Starfleet trained or no," she told him.
Chakotay silently absorbed her words. So, she did feel something for him, but would not allow her almighty Prime Directive to be broken in any sense of the word. Well, maybe he could help her make a crack. After all, it only takes one crack to cause the entire dam to break.
"You'd better come up with a better reason than the Prime Directive, Kathryn," he told her.
"I'm engaged," she countered.
Chakotay nodded.
"To a man 75 years away," he said.
"For all we know we could be home tomorrow. What would I tell that man that had loved me for so long?" she demanded.
"That there is a new man in your life that is willing to fight for you," he told her.
As much as his words affected her, Kathryn forced herself to remain calm and composed.
"We've only known each other for three months . . ." she began.
"That's long enough for me to know that I love you and would do anything to keep you with me," he interrupted her.
Kathryn froze. Had he actually just said that he loved her? His eyes begged her fro a response as she gazed up into them. His grip on her wrists had slackened during their short conversation and she removed them from his grasp. She reached up and brushed the back of her fingers over his cheek. A surge of electricity traveled up her arm as he caught her hand in his own and brought her fingers over to his lips. He heard her gasp and closed her small hand between both of him.
"Don't deny that you feel something for me. I can see it in your eyes and feel it in you touch," he whispered.
Kathryn looked away from him and down at her feet.
"In wont deny that I feel a very strong attraction to you. I've had several dream filled nights in the passed months. But I can't just forget who I am because I feel something for you. When I woke up from every single one of those dreams the first thing that went through my head was 'what would mark think?'" she explained.
"He's not here to ask, Kathryn and he's not here to judge you about what your dreams contain," Chakotay urged.
Kathryn closed her eyes. He was right. Mark was 75 years away and, she had to admit to herself, she never truly loved him. She cared for him deeply, but she had never actually fallen in love with him. She sighed heavily.
"I know," she said softly.
Chakotay placed his fingers under her chin and turned her face up, forcing her to open her eyes and look at him. Tears shined in her deep blue eyes and her lower lip trembles slightly. Chakotay dropped his hand to her shoulder and pressed his lips to her forehead. Kathryn shuddered, froze, then closed her eyes again and buried her head in his chest.
"I don't want to do this," Kathryn said softly.
Chakotay cradled her head in one hand while stroking her back with the other.
"I'll still love you, Kathryn. No matter what you decide," he said.
"I don't want to let you go," she whispered.
Chakotay closed his eyes and lay his cheek against the top of her head. He didn't want to let her go either. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his hope that she would accept his love overwhelming his judgment. This woman had only been a part of his life for three months, but she was absolutely intoxicating. He had memorized every line of her face, every hair on her head, even the scent of her perfume. If she chose to walk away, then his memories would be enough to sustain him until he could win her heart.
Kathryn felt a tear slide down her cheek and clung tighter to Chakotay. True, Mark loved her and she cared deeply for him, but this man was professing that his love for her would never die, that he would love her no matter if she accepted it or not. Would Mark be waiting for her when they got around to getting back to the Alpha Quadrant? She didn't think so. It could take 75 years for them to reach Earth; did she want to be alone for all that time with just her memories to keep her dreams of being held by this man to keep her going? She mentally shook her head. She knew that she couldn't survive that type or torture.
"Chakotay," she whispered as if she were trying to make sure that he was still there.
"I'm here, Kathryn," he replied. "And I'm not going anywhere.
"Just hold me," she whispered.
Chakotay did as asked and quietly held the woman that he loved, hoping that it meant her answer was yes.
Kathryn Janeway sighed as she entered the briefing room on the Maquis ship, Liberty. For three months now, her Starfleet crew had been trying to integrate itself into the Maquis crew, but to no avail. Many fights had broken out, mostly started by the Maquis. She looked up from the PADD that she held at Captain Chakotay. He stood with his back to her, looking out the window at the starscape. Kathryn was about to clear her throat to get his attention when he faced her.
"Ah, Captain," he greeted her. "Please, take a seat."
"I prefer to stand," she retorted.
Chakotay shrugged. He looked evenly at the woman that was now his second in command. Since the first moment he had seen her across the view screen, he had known that he would ultimately fall in love with her. Her strong features and even stronger will were incredibly attractive to him. Now, standing before him, he no longer saw the Starfleet officer that he had first met. He saw the woman behind the officer starting to break through. Her hair was half up and hung down passed her shoulders. Much better, he thought, than the Starfleet issue bun that it had been caged in the day they met. About a month prior, she had shed the standard Starfleet uniform as well in favor of the more comfortable Maquis clothing. He inwardly smiled. He had been right about falling for this woman.
Kathryn had to admit to herself that his eyes roaming over her body sent a sensation of butterflies to her stomach and tingling to her limbs. Since almost the first moment she had seen him across the view screen she had felt a connection to him. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks and tried to cover it with one of her hands.
"I came to discuss these disputes between our crewmen," she said, trying to break the tension between them.
'Ah, yes. The never ending feud,' Chakotay thought.
"How many this time?" he asked, sitting in a nearby chair.
"Five in the passed three days," she told him and then scrolled through her PADD. "This morning B'Elanna Torres broke Lieutenant Carey's nose."
"B'Elanna's been know to push people out of her way," Chakotay commented.
"Push! If she had hit him any harder, bone would have punctured his cerebellum!"
She stepped closer to him and thrust the PADD of information at him.
"See for yourself," she demanded.
Chakotay calmly took the PADD from her, taking note of the slight flush in her cheeks. Well, she was right. The report from sickbay said exactly what she had told him.
"I'll speak to B'Elanna myself," he said, placing the PADD on the table.
Kathryn stood up straighter and crossed her arms.
"That's it?" she asked.
Chakotay sighed.
"What more do you want me to do, Kathryn?" he asked in return.
She ignored the tingly feeling she got when he called her Kathryn and forced her voice to hide the anger she felt.
"I want you to captain you crew," she demanded.
"This isn't Starfleet, Kathryn and we're not going to follow your pristine regulations. We're Maquis and so are you right now and for the next 75 years. Deal with it," he thundered.
Kathryn took a deep breath, not wanting to lose her composure. Yes, she was forced to join her Starfleet crew with the very people that she had been sent to capture, but she didn't have to like it.
"Granted, we aren't on a Starfleet vessel, but my people have studied and strived their whole lives to get into Starfleet. You're asking them to accept people that haven't even graduated from the Academy as their superiors," she told him.
"Yet you and they accept me as your captain," he countered.
His eyes pierced through her, daring her to answer.
"That's a completely different story," she replied.
"Is it?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"You're qualified. You're a graduate of the Academy. You've had Command School training and command experience," she replied.
Chakotay stood and walked over to her, she tentatively let him place his hands on her shoulder.
"That explains why Captain Janeway and her crew accept me, but what about Kathryn Janeway? Does the woman behind the officer accept me?" he whispered.
Kathryn heard her heart start pounding in her ears as his hand made its way up to her cheek. Her breath caught as she looked up into his eyes. They starred back at her with the same amount of longing as her's showed him. They suddenly flicked down to look at her mouth. He was going to kiss her! The door to the room suddenly slid open and they jumped apart like a couple of guilty teenagers. Chakotay looked over Kathryn's head at the smoldering face of Seska.
"I should have known," Seska barked. "I knew letting Starfleet on this ship would be a mistake."
"The only mistake is you barging in places you don't belong," Chakotay snapped.
"I belong wherever you are. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn't walked on," she said, crossing her arms.
Kathryn felt that her blush had sufficiently left her cheeks and turned to face Seska who's own face had taken on a pinkish hue.
"What are you looking at, Starfleet? I don't answer to you," Seska challenged her.
Kathryn was about to retort when Chakotay spoke up.
"Yes you do, Seska. You all answer to her," he thundered.
"Chakotay, she . . ."
"I don't want to hear it!" he interrupted her. "Yes, she's Starfleet, but she's also my first officer which makes her your superior. Deal with it!"
"Do you have any idea how the rest of the crew is taking this, Chakotay? Not to mention that slut was about to kiss you. What happened to you Chakotay? What happened to us?" Seska countered.
Kathryn stood quietly, allowing Chakotay to reprimand his own crewman. When Seska crossed the line and called her a slut, she nearly lost her cool composure. Chakotay placed a hand on her arm to restrain her from ripping Seska's eyes out and she looked up at him.
"There is no "us" anymore, Seska. There hasn't been an "us" in quite sometime. Stop acting like a jealous woman," Chakotay demanded.
"Jealous? Of her? You've got to be kidding," Seska retorted.
"Then what are you doing here?" he yelled.
"Preventing you from making a mistake," she replied.
Chakotay snapped. This woman drove him crazy! He wasn't going to let her get away with calling Kathryn a slut and he definitely was not going to let her parade around like they were still together. In one fluid motion, he pulled Kathryn into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers. Kathryn stiffened in his arms and pushed against his chest. He tightened his arms around her and placed a hand behind her head to prevent her escape.
He heard her sigh after a few more seconds of struggling, then her muscles relaxed and her arms wound around his neck. Her hands found their way to the back of his head and held him there, unable to break the kiss. Her lips hungrily accepted his and parted slightly. He took the opportunity to completely claim her mouth. A soft whimper escaped her as the world spun beneath their feet. Seska no longer existed, the room faded and the stars burned themselves out.
Kathryn couldn't help herself. This man had completely captured her since the moment they had met face to face on Voyager's bridge. She leaned into the kiss, giving herself completely to it, knowing that it was futile. Her need for oxygen made her pull away from Chakotay and take a deep breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her eye shined. The room came back into existence and the stars burned brighter than they had for centuries.
Chakotay looked down at Kathryn, brushing a stray lock of her hair from her face and smiled. He looked up only to see that Seska had left. Kathryn looked toward the door as well and almost felt a sense of victory at seeing the female Bajoran not thee any longer.
Chakotay noticed the smirk on Kathryn face and looked at her questioningly. Kathryn looked away from the door and back up at him. Suddenly, he was stumbling backward and she was backing away from him, shaking her head.
"This is impossible. This can't be happening," she said, covering her face with one hand and putting the other on her hip.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay questioned.
"This cant be happening," she said, lifting her other hand to her face.
Chakotay reached her in two strides and grabbed her wrists.
"Kathryn, what . . ."
"Don't touch me," she hissed, trying to pull her wrists free of his fists.
Chakotay tightened his grasp and pulled her toward him.
"Two minutes ago you were kissing me and twisting your fingers in my hair and now you don't want me to touch you?"
"Oh, God, why," she whispered.
"Why what? What's wrong?" Chakotay demanded.
"I can't . . . we can't . . ." she stuttered, looking up at him.
"We can't what? This isn't Starfleet, Kathryn," he whispered.
She stopped trying to get away from him and took a deep breath.
"You're right, this isn't a Starfleet vessel, but I'm a Starfleet captain. I follow the Prime Directive to the letter and it forbids me from falling for my superior officer be he Starfleet trained or no," she told him.
Chakotay silently absorbed her words. So, she did feel something for him, but would not allow her almighty Prime Directive to be broken in any sense of the word. Well, maybe he could help her make a crack. After all, it only takes one crack to cause the entire dam to break.
"You'd better come up with a better reason than the Prime Directive, Kathryn," he told her.
"I'm engaged," she countered.
Chakotay nodded.
"To a man 75 years away," he said.
"For all we know we could be home tomorrow. What would I tell that man that had loved me for so long?" she demanded.
"That there is a new man in your life that is willing to fight for you," he told her.
As much as his words affected her, Kathryn forced herself to remain calm and composed.
"We've only known each other for three months . . ." she began.
"That's long enough for me to know that I love you and would do anything to keep you with me," he interrupted her.
Kathryn froze. Had he actually just said that he loved her? His eyes begged her fro a response as she gazed up into them. His grip on her wrists had slackened during their short conversation and she removed them from his grasp. She reached up and brushed the back of her fingers over his cheek. A surge of electricity traveled up her arm as he caught her hand in his own and brought her fingers over to his lips. He heard her gasp and closed her small hand between both of him.
"Don't deny that you feel something for me. I can see it in your eyes and feel it in you touch," he whispered.
Kathryn looked away from him and down at her feet.
"In wont deny that I feel a very strong attraction to you. I've had several dream filled nights in the passed months. But I can't just forget who I am because I feel something for you. When I woke up from every single one of those dreams the first thing that went through my head was 'what would mark think?'" she explained.
"He's not here to ask, Kathryn and he's not here to judge you about what your dreams contain," Chakotay urged.
Kathryn closed her eyes. He was right. Mark was 75 years away and, she had to admit to herself, she never truly loved him. She cared for him deeply, but she had never actually fallen in love with him. She sighed heavily.
"I know," she said softly.
Chakotay placed his fingers under her chin and turned her face up, forcing her to open her eyes and look at him. Tears shined in her deep blue eyes and her lower lip trembles slightly. Chakotay dropped his hand to her shoulder and pressed his lips to her forehead. Kathryn shuddered, froze, then closed her eyes again and buried her head in his chest.
"I don't want to do this," Kathryn said softly.
Chakotay cradled her head in one hand while stroking her back with the other.
"I'll still love you, Kathryn. No matter what you decide," he said.
"I don't want to let you go," she whispered.
Chakotay closed his eyes and lay his cheek against the top of her head. He didn't want to let her go either. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his hope that she would accept his love overwhelming his judgment. This woman had only been a part of his life for three months, but she was absolutely intoxicating. He had memorized every line of her face, every hair on her head, even the scent of her perfume. If she chose to walk away, then his memories would be enough to sustain him until he could win her heart.
Kathryn felt a tear slide down her cheek and clung tighter to Chakotay. True, Mark loved her and she cared deeply for him, but this man was professing that his love for her would never die, that he would love her no matter if she accepted it or not. Would Mark be waiting for her when they got around to getting back to the Alpha Quadrant? She didn't think so. It could take 75 years for them to reach Earth; did she want to be alone for all that time with just her memories to keep her dreams of being held by this man to keep her going? She mentally shook her head. She knew that she couldn't survive that type or torture.
"Chakotay," she whispered as if she were trying to make sure that he was still there.
"I'm here, Kathryn," he replied. "And I'm not going anywhere.
"Just hold me," she whispered.
Chakotay did as asked and quietly held the woman that he loved, hoping that it meant her answer was yes.