Emma's 30th birthday was only a week away and Snow was very nearly losing her mind due to the lack of planning and preparation that had been accomplished, though certainly not for her lack of trying. First she had hounded Emma in an attempt to find out what sort of a party she wanted. Did she want a theme, perhaps a humorous one having something to do with the milestone of turning 30? Or maybe something more sophisticated? She had proposed a fancy dinner out at Lumiere's new French restaurant with just family, Regina, Zelena, and baby Robin included of course. Then she thought maybe something more casual and fun, like a party with all the people who loved Emma at Granny's, or maybe down by the docks (though she thought better of that one upon remembering that things hadn't exactly ended well between Emma and Hook, so that location might come with some unpleasant memories). However, despite all of her efforts, Emma's responses to her ideas had ranged from "Not a chance, Snow.", to "I don't even know how to pronounce that stuff.", to "Oh yeah, cause those parties always go so well.", and finally earned her an exasperated "MOM. Stop. I really don't like to celebrate my birthday, and I don't want a party!"
Unfortunately, what that had meant to Snow was that the idea of a party was overwhelming Emma and so she would simply take on the task herself and make it a surprise party. It was Snow's desire for "everything to be absolutely perfect" that had resulted in where they were at the moment, with Snow pacing around in Regina's dining room babbling away about streamers and balloons and whether there should be cupcakes or cake or both, while Regina clutched her tea (she'd switched to chamomile from coffee when it became clear that this was going to take longer then she'd hoped and that something to calm and soothe was a better option).
"Regina, you're her closest friend, besides Ruby, but all she kept suggesting was something to do with a girl's night out at Esmeralda's Burlesque Club, and I just don't think that's the right idea. I mean, her father wouldn't be comfortable there, and Henry certainly couldn't come, and I just don't think Emma would want that."
Regina couldn't help murmur in response to that, "Emma doesn't want this party at all."
"That's nonsense Regina, she just doesn't know how much fun a birthday can be. And we deserve to get to celebrate it with her." Snow sat down in the chair across from her in a huff, arms crossing her chest and her red-as-blood bottom lip sticking out ever so slightly. Regina sat against the stiff wooden back of her chair and regarded Snow with a look not quite Evil Queen but certainly Wicked Stepmother.
"So that's what all of this is about, is it? You're trying to make up for all those birthdays you missed. This party is about you getting to celebrate, this is your party, not Emma's."
"How dare you! Emma should get to have her birthday be a good one, she should get to celebrate. So what if I want to get to do that for her? So what if I want to throw a party for my daughter? Shouldn't I get to throw a party for my own daughter?!" By this point Snow's eyes had misted with tears and she was clearly closing in on the edge between barely-contained distress and absolute sobbing, and Regina just didn't have it in her to comfort a wailing Snow White...again. She paused, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose and gather her patience.
"Look Snow, the problem isn't that you want to throw your daughter a party, the problem is that your daughter doesn't want it. It's no kind of gift to her if you force it on her." Snow seemed to consider this for a moment before a disturbingly brighter expression settled over her features.
"Well that's why I need you! Don't you see? You can help me make it something Emma will like!"
"Snow..."
"No Regina, it's perfect. You two have a certain...bond. I'm sure you know what she really wants to do for her birthday. She must have let something slip over your family dinners or what-not, mentioned something that she's been wanting to do...anything really." The sheer amount of optimism in Snow's tone was nearly nauseating to Regina, but she attempted to reign in her venom before searching for a response that might somehow get through to Snow that nothing about this party was a good idea.
"There's nothing I can tell you, Snow, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you or be difficult, I swear, and you really need to hear me when I say this, but all Emma has mentioned to me about her birthday is that she has never enjoyed it and would like to treat it like any other day." When a broad smile lit up Snow's face, Regina knew she hadn't taken her words as they were meant.
"All the more reason to make this birthday incredible!" Then she was up again and out of her seat, unable to contain her excitement. "So what do you think, cupcakes or cake? I was thinking you could do a layer cake, one with all those beautiful tiers, with different flavors on every layer. You wouldn't mind helping with that would you?" Despite the question, Snow clearly wasn't actually looking for an answer as she continued on.
"Do you think she'd prefer vanilla or chocolate ice cream with the cake? Or maybe strawberry? What flavor is it that she's always order for her milkshakes?"
"Why don't you just skip the cake and serve a stack of bear claws?" Regina murmured sarcastically only to have Snow nearly jump for joy and clasp her hands together enthusiastically at the suggestion.
"There! See! That's brilliant! I never would have thought of that but it's just perfect, Emma would love that. I knew you'd help me."
"Snow, I was joking. It doesn't matter if you give her a hundred bear claws, she still doesn't want this party!" Regina was standing now too, moving into Snow's personal space. She had hit the end of her rope with this subject and simply couldn't stand by and allow Snow to make Emma's birthday miserable. Snow tipped back, nearly stumbling as she pulled away from Regina's biting tone. She looked positively flabbergasted, and more than a little hurt. Her eyes began to fill with tears once more and she spun on her heal, turning away and wrapping her arms around herself.
"You don't have to be so mean, Regina. I'm just trying to do something nice." She whimpered, and then, with a grumpy little huff added, "As her grandmother I thought you'd be a little more enthusiastic about helping."
Regina's hand on Snow's shoulder twisted her back around, and she hissed out between clenched teeth,
"As her WHAT?"
"Well, I, I mean...it's just that she's basically your granddaughter. You were my step-mother, and you're certainly family now, so that makes you her grandmother." Snow was stuttering, not that that was terribly unusual for her, especially with what was left of Mary Margret still in her. When Regina burst out laughing, deep and throaty with just a tinge of hysterics, Snow's desperate smile faltered, clearly unnerved by the reaction.
"Her GRANDMOTHER?" Regina squeaked. "I am nothing of the sort, and my god if you ever so much as imply that again I will fireball every last one of your precious family photos." The threat lacked some of Regina's former bite, but it had the intended impact anyway, seeing Snow clutching her shirt over her chest and her jaw dropping open.
"Why I...that seems uncalled for! I was just trying to make you feel like family!" Now it was Regina's turn to look insulted, her back straightening and one eyebrow shooting dangerously towards her hairline.
"I assure you, dear, I don't need you to make me feel like family. Emma does that perfectly well herself."
There was something in her words that Snow knew she was missing, some meaning she wasn't quite able to put her finger on.
"I know you two are close..." She started, trying to figure out what Regina had implied. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, for her Regina was ready for this afternoon to be over and had no more time for games.
"We're together, Snow." A note of pride and more than a little smugness crept into her voice.
"Together?" Snow was doing her damndest to stay in the dark, but Regina did still find some pleasure in seeing the other woman squirm, and now that they'd come this far she couldn't back down.
"Yes dear, together. Dating. Lovers, if you will."
Snow's mouth dropped nearly to the floor, for once shocked into absolute silence. Regina allowed a wolfish grin to spread across her mouth as she began guiding the stunned woman towards her front door.
"So you can see why I might take offense, as I believe Emma would as well, to your insisting she call me Grandma. Now, I believe we've settled this little matter of her birthday party. You just leave Emma with me." She opened the door, pushing Snow outside with perhaps a touch more force than ultimately necessary and, leaning in close to her ear with her hand on Snow's upper arm in a gesture that would look to any passerby like she were simply giving the woman a parting kiss on the cheek, whispered,
"I can promise you I'll give her a birthday present that she'll never forget. The best birthday she's ever had, I'd be willing to bet."
Snow's mouth was moving wordlessly, her cheeks coloring and her eyes wide as saucers. Just then Regina glanced down her walkway to see the soon-to-be birthday girl herself swaggering up the path, only hesitating slightly when she saw the look of victory on Regina's face.
"Hey you two, what's up?" Emma looked between them curiously, taking in her mother's strange expression. "Oh lord, you weren't planning my party again, were you?"
Regina reached to clasp Emma's hand in her own, pulling her closer.
"No, Sweetheart, " Emma's eyes bulged at the unexpected term of endearment, her eyes once again darting to her mother. "I think we've got the party all settled. I've explained to your mother that you'll be having a nice night in with me, celebrating just the two of us. Then, because she does so want to spend some time with you, the two of us will be having dear Snow and Charming over for a wonderful family brunch the next day." Turning to place a tender kiss on Emma's cheek, which was now blushing furiously, Regina asked "How does that sound to you?"
Emma began to nod, "Sure. Um, yeah, that sounds great." Her voice was higher in pitch than usual, clearly baffled by this turn of events.
"Wonderful!" Regina declared. "Well that's settled Snow, we'll see you this weekend. Have a nice evening." Regina pulled Emma back over the threshold and into the house, swinging the door shut on a still speechless Snow White definitely looking as pale as her name would imply. As soon as the door was shut Emma turned on her.
"What the hell was that Regina? Did you, did we just come out to my mother?" Regina's smile instantly turned sheepish, her eyes flashing around the room guiltily.
"I'm sorry Emma, I just couldn't help myself. She was driving me up the wall and she wouldn't hear reason about that damn party. You know how much I do love to mess with her. It was innocent fun really. Well, mostly."
Emma couldn't help but grin at Regina's change in demeanor, a bashful and apologetic Regina was an adorable Regina.
"Hey, it's ok. I mean, it's not how I pictured that going, but if it gets me out of a party...and gets me a night alone with you, well I can't think of a better birthday."
"Really?" Emma tucked a finger under Regina's chin, raising her gaze to meet her own.
"Yes, really." And with that she kissed her sweetly, and all stress about a party, all the worry about coming out, simply vanished.
Oh yes, this would be a birthday to remember indeed, for both of them.