I am taking a little break from this story. It was nowhere near ready to start posting and for that, I apologize. However, I will leave it up to be continued later and, as a little writing exercise, I have begun a drabble story which will hopefully entertain until I can get this beast under control.
I'd like to thank all of the great writers and Edwards out there that made me at least attempt to write. I have so much love for you all.
I'd also like to thank the wonderful Bambi for organizing me. Trust me, she's a miracle worker. Also,Mionewriter007 for double checking and polishing everything before it was posted. Girl, you are a life saver!
Thanks to my good friends, Kelsey and Mikayla.
I don't own Bella, Edward, Charlie or any of the other Twilight Characters.
This story will contain dark themes, drug use, under age alcohol use, mental illness, graphic sex, explicit language, and violence against women. Enjoy *
Age four.
"Isabella, hold my hand, honey." I grabbed my daddy's hand gingerly, his unfamiliarly rough skin causing unease to settle itself deep in my stomach. Mommy's hand was soft; her touch was always so comforting. I looked up at Daddy and his flannel shirt and frowned. Mommy never wore flannel. But she was scary now. I wanted no one.
I had heard other people call Daddy Charlie, which was his name. But he was my daddy so that's what I called him. But he didn't always respond when I called him Daddy. He always turned when I called him Charlie. I caught on.
He began taking long strides in crossing the street and I hurried behind him to keep up. Oh! I yelped in my head when I stumbled. I didn't say much to him out loud. There wouldn't be a point.
We were going to the playground, but it was cold and yucky and I didn't want to be outside. I missed the warmth. I missed the sun. But I didn't tell him that.
"It's so you can meet other kids your age, Isabella. You'll have fun there." Charlie had said. I liked the way he said my name. It sounded good, different. But I didn't want to meet other kids. Other kids could laugh at me. I was small, I was pale, and I had freckles. You're ugly.
That's not what happened though; no one laughed. When we got to the park, no one would talk to me, they just stared. There were two boys on the swings, both with light hair, going back and forth and back and forth, but their eyes never left me. Two little girls in pink dresses with big, dark eyes were playing on the slide, taking turns and pausing every now and again to stop and look my way. There was a bronze haired boy on the monkey bars and several other kids, running, playing, scattered around the park. Keeping their distance, they all watched me. I looked into something shiny to see if I had grown a third eye. Nope, still only two, still brown. I sat in the wet sand and tried to pretend I was at the beach making a sand castle.
Later in the day, after it had gotten even colder, Charlie was leading me by the hand back to his house. Not my home, his house. I had a feeling that he was holding my hand so tightly because he was afraid I would run away. Would I?
He took me to eat out instead of at his house, which wasn't different from what Mommy did. Neither of them ever cooked. I had a kid's plate of pasta and soda that tickled my throat as I gulped it down.
I went straight up to what Charlie said was my room as soon as we returned to his house. Not my home, his house. There was a big window on the far wall that was draped with thin, yellow curtains. A lone dolly sat on the only shelf. The closet was filled will empty boxes.
Standing on one of the boxes, I brushed my teeth and then climbed into the bed that Charlie got me. Settling myself under the covers I laid down and looked up at the purple ceiling until I fell asleep.
The next day I woke up to the sound of something moving downstairs. I went to see what was making noise and saw Charlie at the front door, dressed in his police clothes. Then he saw me and his eyes widened like he wasn't expecting me to be here. He sighed and hung up a gun on the coat rack next to the door.
He made me cinnamon toast that was too soggy. He never made it again.
The day was boring and depressing. Charlie stayed home with me, but watched the TV the whole time with a can of beer in his hand. I sat on the floor with an old box of crayons and drew sandy beaches, palm trees, and shining suns. Then I drew a picture of Mommy with one of her happy sticks.
I got hungry again. Charlie thought for a minute then told me to get ready; we were going out.
"Somewhere special," he said. I came down, having dressed myself, and Charlie took one look at me and laughed. It hurt my feelings. I put my hands on my hips. What's so funny? He said I had dressed myself the wrong way, my shirt backwards, my jacket upside down, my jeans unbuttoned. I also hadn't tied my shoes, and, with my first step forward, I found myself with my face on the wooden floor. My lips and hands hurt. I cried. Charlie pulled me to my feet and got me a paper towel for my bloody lip. I breathed in through my mouth. Blood was icky and it smelled bad.
It was a slow, but short drive. I stared out the window as we approached a small brick building with a large yellow sign reading what I guessed was the place's name. Glass windows covered most of the building's front side as well as a glass door. From inside I could see lights hanging from the ceiling. I looked at Charlie once I had gotten out of the car, asking him with my eyes where we were.
"This place is called Sully's. I know it doesn't look like much, but the people here are very friendly. And there's good food." I nodded. Once again he offered me his hand and led me to the door. Walking in behind him, I looked around. There was a counter on one side of the room like a fast-food place; there were more lights than I had thought, all orange and pink. I followed Charlie to the counter.
"Good evening Officer Swan." a man greeted him. I ordered off the kids menu, a small cheeseburger. Charlie told me I should put pineapple on it and for some reason I did. It was good, and for a while I just sat and enjoyed my food, not thinking about Mommy or Charlie or how cold I was.
I was done eating and Charlie was looking at me, thinking.
"Isabella, there's a play palace out back. Why don't you have fun for a little while?" Have fun? I glanced outside at the colorful, plastic steps and bars and slide… fun? I looked back at Charlie, asking if I had to. He cocked his head, telling me to go and I did.
There were a few other kids there, most of them older than I was. I tried not to look at them, scared that I would meet judging, curious eyes. Cautiously, I walked around the play set, placing my feet slowly and firmly. I climbed up but I hadn't understood that, to get down, I had to scale the side and swing over a space from the bar above. Who designed this? I took a deep breath and grabbed the bar.
I realized, once my feet were over air, that my hand was sore from when I had tripped on my shoelace earlier. I screamed in surprise and my hand unclasped. I fell on a boy, knocking him to the ground, but successfully breaking my fall. I was about to cry… but then he did. The small bronze haired boy got to his feet and wailed, wiping his eyes frantically. I watched him in silence as he ran inside to a similar haired woman in a long tan coat. He said something. She looked at me. Oh!
I scrambled to stand and then rushed inside until I was in front of the pretty woman who was cradling her whimpering son.
"Sorry," I squeaked. The lady smiled. She had very white teeth.
"It's alright, honey. I'm sure it was just an accident." I nodded.
"Isabella!" Charlie was shouting. He sprinted over and with a hand on my shoulder pulled me against him, again, like he was holding me back from doing something. What did he think I was about to do? "I'm sorry, Esme. I hope she wasn't being troublesome." There was something different in the tone of Charlie's voice. It was lower and smoother… like he had done something very wrong and was speaking to the person that was going to punish him.
"No, not at all. She and Edward just had a little accident in the jungle gym."
"She fell on me!" the boy protested.
"I didn't mean to!" The woman petted the boy's hair and I watched as it retained its messy tangle. She shushed him and he calmed under her touch. It made me ache. A tear slipped down my cheek.
"She said she was sorry, Edward. Now, be a gentleman and accept her apology." Edward… hmm… funny name… He pouted, his little brows going down, making a crease appear between them. He looked at me, his wide eyes bright green and contrasting against his flushed red skin. He sniffled. Then, after a long quiet moment, he nodded.
"It's okay." he allowed. Before I could stop myself, I smiled. My first smile in Forks… I felt like someone should take a picture. Esme smiled at her son and he glared at me.
"Thank you, Esme." Charlie cleared his throat. "Come on, Isabella."
"Oh… Officer Swan! I'd really like it if you could join my husband and me for dinner tomorrow evening… Isabella would come as well of course." she finished looking at me. Her eyes were green too. Maybe she wanted Charlie to confide to her about being a new father. Maybe she knew that I haven't had a decent home-cooked meal since I had been here. Or maybe, even though it was Edward in her arms that had been hurt and crying, it was me and Charlie who she felt bad for.
"That's very gracious, Mrs. Cullen, but no thank you." I wondered why they switched from casual to formal names for each other. "Give Carlisle my condolences." Condolences… I didn't know what it meant… I sounded it out slowly in my head… con-dol-en-ces. I had never heard Charlie talk like this before. I looked at the bronze haired, big eyed boy. He had a mommy and a daddy… and they were all having dinner together. I was suddenly very envious of the pretty little crybaby. Maybe Esme had a good reason for feeling sorry for me.
"Of course, thank you." she said softly. With nods and a last lingering look at Edward, Charlie pulled me away and we left. It was quiet in the police car.
Charlie had taken the following week off of work so I could "settle in." Long, uneventful days where I didn't speak and he didn't either. I sang softly to myself sometimes; I had gotten bored of my crayons. I thought about what Mommy and I would be doing if we were home together. Sitting, we'd be watching a movie with pizza crusts in the kitchen. The movie would end and she's tickle me and I'd laugh. Then a man with "embalming fluid" would come to the door and Mommy would tell me to leave and bring her a pair of shoes or something. I'd be back, the man would be gone, and Mommy would sit with me in my bed until I fell asleep. She wouldn't be there when I woke up.
We still went out every night to dinner, Charlie and me. Usually we went to the same place, not nearly as nice as Sully's. Being in public didn't seem to encourage conversation. I listened to the people around me. Someone's grandfather had died. Earlier that day they went to his funeral. From somewhere in the restaurant, a baby cried.
It was Friday. I sat on my back on the floor next to the bed Charlie had given me. It was wood. It was cold.
There was emptiness in me, I was hallowed. Something was missing and as I prepared myself for the night I breathed two words before letting my eyes fall shut.
"Goodnight Mommy."
The next Sunday, after two rousing days of baseball games and long phone calls in his room, at dinner, Charlie put down his fork and looked at me.
"Tomorrow I think you should go to school." It surprised me. Mommy had sometimes gotten people to watch over me when she was gone, but I had never been to school before. I suppose I had looked confused. "Because I'm pretty sure I can't leave you alone and I have to go back to work." I nodded. "You'll be well taken care of there… and there will be kids your own age." he finished. I resisted from rolling my eyes.
Charlie would wake me up early the next morning and then drive me to "school." He'd pick me up when it was over and then we'd have dinner, just like we always did. He told me how it would work like he was taking an oath.
The next morning he woke me up, giving me only ten minutes to get ready. He was taken off guard when I freaked after hearing the time, totally confused at first. Boys.
I yawned a lot during our drive, each one like a reminder of the silent seconds that passed before it.
We pulled up to a very small building that looked kind of like a house, but longer and shorter and had a big sign out front. He parked and got out with me, taking me by the hand, and walking me inside.
The first room was small and had just a desk and a small plant in it. Behind the desk sat a skinny, pale, large nosed woman who had her limp, blonde hair tied up behind her. She smelled like rubber. Behind her, scattered over the wall, were paintings of butterflies and flowers. They were all obviously done by children and I couldn't believe the kids here would even know what a flower looked like; I haven't seen one in Forks yet.
She smiled at Charlie who gestured to me, pulling her gaze away from him and to me and now I was the one she was smiling at. She had big teeth. Without a word, Charlie signed something, smiled at me, told me that he would definitely come back to pick me up and then left, leaving me with the big toothed rubber lady.
She said hello, called me Isabella, and lead me through the only door. This next room was much bigger and had big windows on two sides. Across from where I stood were five other doors, two bathrooms, a supply closet, a nurse's office, and one other that I never saw anyone go through.
There were tables and mats and each had kids there, playing or coloring or crying. Rubber lady told me to have fun and then closed the door behind me. No one looked at me, for which I was grateful, but I didn't know what to do. So I stood there with wide eyes.
A hand touched my shoulder and I yelped.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Isabella." said a sweet, cushiony voice. I looked up and met green eyes, white teeth, and bronze hair. I blinked at her. "I didn't mean to scare you, I wasn't aware your dad had dropped you off already." Again, I blinked. "Um, I want to show you around. Maybe we can find something you'd like to do."
The woman, I couldn't remember her name, showed me the bathroom and explained how the day would go, when I would sleep, when I would eat, and when I would leave. She told me all the different things I could play with. I told her I liked to color and she brought me to an arts section. Children sat with coloring books at tables and on rugs beside them sat kids clinging onto xylophones. Among them was the little bronze haired boy, her son.
The pretty woman sat me down and got me settled with a book and some crayons.
"Come show me when you finish." And then she was gone. I picked up a blue crayon and looked at my frog outline and I really didn't feel like coloring. It was fun, but it had been all I had done for a week. I dropped the blue. Using the color black, I practiced writing the alphabet instead.
I was writing the letter J when a girl with frizzy, brown hair grabbed my book.
"Hey!" I shouted.
"You're no doing it wight, fat no how you color a fwog!" she whined.
"So!" I grabbed for my book, but she wouldn't give it to me. "Give it back!" She stuck her tongue out at me and ran away with my frog, a half written J on its left eye. Quietly, I cried. I could only think of one thing, I wanted Mommy, I wanted to go home.
Someone tapped me on the arm.
"Go away," I ordered. It was the crybaby, the bronze haired boy with the funny name. I felt bad that I couldn't remember it. Beside me, he sat my book down with the picture of the frog. He had gotten it for me. I looked at it and gasped. With a red marker someone had scribbled all over it, defacing it beyond all hope of recognition. I looked up at the boy and asked him what had happened.
"I did it." He glared at me. I bit my lip, my eyes watering anew.
"I hate it here!" I got up and ran, locking myself in the girls' bathroom.
What do you think of those two, eh? A match made in heaven…
Sully's Drive-In is a real fast-food restaurant smack tab in the middle of Forks and has gotten awesome reviews. It doesn't have a play area, but still supposedly great.
If you are not familiar with the drug references then, please, look them up. If you'd rather not take the time, they will be explained in greater detail later on. My own research on this topic has been heart retching so, if you do take the matter into your own hands, be forewarned.
I am still in school, and until the summer starts updates will be unpredictable and probably spaced far apart. After school is out, though, who's working for ya baby, I will devote my twilight crazed life to this story.
Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave your reviews and questions for little baby Bella!