Yes! I am finally back with a brand new story for you. I know it's been awhile, but January is always a weird month for me and this one was full of ups and downs, that I won't bore you with.
Anyway, this little offering is sadly, only 3 chapters long...but it's amusing (or I think it is!) and was all inspired by me imagining Ron trying to style his daughter's hair...this is the result of that. I hope you enjoy – please let me know.
Chapter One
"I'll race you home!" My seven year old daughter, Rose, punched her brother's arm before speeding off down the old farm lane.
"Daaad!" Almost five year old Hugo looked up at me and whined.
"Well, go catch her up then," I told him, taking hold of the jacket that he was already shoving at me before he sped off too. I kept an eye on them whilst trying to juggle everything I was carrying – two book bags, two lunch boxes, a PE kit and now two jackets. Why was it the minute I picked my kids up from school, they seemed completely unable to carry anything anymore? Like as soon as they left the school grounds they lost all ability to use their arms?
I sighed, hitched everything up and sauntered after them, hoping they'd burn off some energy before we reached the house. This was my secret tactic – only Apparate them half way home, then they got to use of up some of that energy and hopefully give me an easier time once we got home. And, since we lived on the rural outskirts of the village and not overlooked by anyone, it was easy to get away with Apparating around here.
By the time I joined them at the gate they were jumping about, waiting for me to lift the wards for them to enter our property. The old paranoia from our time hunting Horcuxes and then a career as an Auror never totally left and I wanted my family to be safe. Rose was bragging about how she'd won the race and Hugo was claiming she was a cheater – the pair of them bickering back and forth. I rolled my eyes, thinking it was going to be one of those afternoons.
"Come on," I sighed, swishing my wand towards the house and heading up the garden path.
"What we doing this afternoon daddy?" Rose asked as I recast the wards on the house behind us and unlocked the door.
"Erm, I dunno. What do you want to do?" I asked, almost falling over as Hugo pushed by and barrelled into the house ahead of me. "Oi!" I yelled at him.
"What's for tea?" he called back.
"Actually," I began whilst hanging up coats and sorting out bags. "Mummy and Daddy have to go out for a couple of hours tonight, so I'm dropping you at Grandma Weasley's and she's making you tea tonight."
"Yes!" Hugo pumped his fist.
"Is your Dad's cooking that bad?" I asked him, picking up the lunch boxes and heading down the hall towards the kitchen.
"No," he shrugged, "but Grandma always lets us have two lots of pudding. And Mummy never does!" he grinned.
"Yeah, there is that," I sighed, imagining one of my Mum delicious sticky and sweet puddings. "Oi! Shoes off. You know what you Mum will say," I warned him as he traipsed down the hall after me.
"But Dad...I want to go play in the garden, so I'll only have to put them straight back on again," he reasoned.
"All right, fine. Just go quick then," I told him, not in the mood to argue.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Rose was squealing for me from the kitchen and I decided what we were going to do this afternoon – all take a nap! That sounded like a marvellous idea.
"What?" I called, setting the lunch boxes on the worktop so I could empty them and wash them later – why did kids always bring home half eaten food? What was with that? Can't they just throw it away at school or something? Because it was not my idea of fun pulling out smashed crackers or squashed, soggy cakes or an apple with one bite taken out of it.
"There's an owl outside. It's got a letter Dad," she informed me, tugging on my jumper as I grimaced at the state of their lunch boxes again.
I turned and saw what she was on about. A tawny owl, that didn't belong to us, was hopping impatiently on the back doorstep, glaring through the glass kitchen door. I sighed, realising that it looked like a Ministry owl since I could see the purple tag on it's leg, and that it could only mean one thing – bad news.
The moment Hugo opened the door to run outside, the owl hopped in, sticking his leg out for me to remove the letter. No doubt Hugo was off to get out his junior broom and fly around the garden again. Hermione still didn't want him to have a more grown up broom – she was terrified he'd fall off.
"Stay in the garden, Hugo!" I warned him, closing the door after him and unrolling the letter. Rose was sat on the floor, fussing the owl and feeding him treats. Leaning against the worktop, I began reading my letter.
'Ron,
I'm sorry. I've been summoned to a late hearing and I don't think I'm going to make it home in time for the school parents evening tonight.'
"Well, shit!" I hissed.
"Daddy!" Rose scolded me.
"What?" I turned to look at her.
"That's a naughty word!" she told me, eyes scowling at me.
"Sorry," I sighed, wondering, not for the first time, why my daughter had to be an almost exact replica of her mother. I mean, not that that was a bad thing – she was as beautiful and smart and loving as Hermione was, but she also liked her rules just like her mother.
I continued reading my letter.
'Please go ahead without me. It's really important that at least one of us attends. You can fill me in on it all later. Just to remind you, we have a meeting booked with Hugo's teacher, Mrs Prendergast, at 5.15 and then a meeting with Rose's teacher, Mr Clayton, at 5.35. Please don't be late and don't worry about it, you'll be fine.
I'll see you later, I'm sorry.
Love you
Hermione x'
"Oh great!" I muttered, now running a hand through my hair as I read the letter over again. "That's just bloody great!" I moaned.
"Daddy!" Rose piped up again.
"Sorry Rose."
"You know what you have to do now!" she eyed me sternly. Like I said – just like her Mum. Or at least behaved the same way her mum had over rules at school anyway. She pointedly looked towards the jar sat on the shelf. "Mummy says you have to put a knut in the jar when you say bad words!" she reminded me.
"Fine," I rummaged in my pocket and, fixing her with a stare, dropped a coin into the jar. "Better?" I asked.
She smiled and got up off the floor, brushing her hands off. "Yes. But you shouldn't say naughty words! Mummy says it's not nice."
"Fine, I'll try to remember that. Why don't you let the owl out now? He'll probably want to get back to work and..." Just then the door crashed open and Hugo barged through.
"It's raining!" he grunted, stomping his foot for good measure. Which made the owl give a disgruntled hoot and fly off out the still open doorway, after leaving a deposit on the kitchen floor.
"Eurgh!" Rose shrieked at it.
"Yep, it's raining," I confirmed Hugo's statement looking out the window and going to close the door he'd left open, only just missing the mess the owl had left behind. I vanished it with a flick of my wand.
"So, now I can't play outside on my broom 'cause I'm getting wet. I never get to play on my broom!" he sulked.
"That's not true!" Rose told him, hands on her hips. "You played just yesterday and the day before and..."
"Did not!" he shouted back.
I rolled my eyes at the pair of them. "Look Hugo, I'm sorry about the rain, there's nothing I can do to fix that I'm afraid. But it's Friday tomorrow, then we can all go flying together at the weekend, okay?" I suggested, hoping to appease him and prevent an argument escalating between them.
"Okay," he grumbled, sullenly.
I smiled and ruffled his hair. "Now, why don't you two go up and get changed whilst I fix you a snack?" I suggested, realising I should have insisted Hugo got out of his school uniform before he went to play in the back garden. "Then we'll find something fun to do for a bit."
They both cheered up at that idea and raced one another up the stairs. Once they were gone, I put the kettle on and prepared something for them to eat. They were back in mere minutes, just as I placed a plate of biscuits along with the chopped apple and some carrot sticks onto the table and a glass of pumpkin juice each. Finally, I sat down myself with my cup of tea and gave a long grateful groan. The shop had been hectic today with problem after problem, so this was the first time I had sat down in hours!
Not surprisingly, they both dived in on the biscuits first. I tried to listen to Hermione's advice about giving them a healthy snack after school – hence the fruit and vegetable, but they were never really interested in eating it. I grabbed one of their biscuits and dunked it in my tea.
"Hey!" Rosie laughed.
I just grinned at her and stuck the whole biscuit in my mouth with a big grin, Hugo giggled and Rose rolled her eyes at me.
It was calm as they munched on their snack, telling me about their day. "Do you have any homework?" I asked, hoping the answer was no – I wasn't in the mood to struggle with them over doing their sums or learning verbs or whatever other weird thing they'd been set. The pair of them shook their heads. "No reading or spellings?" I asked. They denied either – which I knew was a lie – they always had reading. "Right, so what do you want to..."
"Ron!" a voice called my name. "Ronald? Are you home?"
"Mum?" I asked, confused, looking around for the source of her voice.
"Grandma!" the kids shrieked and ran off.
Realising she must be in the floo, I followed them into the lounge, finding my mum's head in the fireplace.
"Oh, there you are," she smiled as I followed the kids in. "Hello Rosie and Hugo, my darlings." she gave them a smile before looking up at me with a more serious expression. "Ron, I'm really sorry. I know I said I'd have the kids for you tonight, but your father isn't feeling very well. Don't worry, it's nothing serious."
"But...Mum..."
She held her hand up to stop me. "He's come down with a terrible cold, so I don't think it would be wise for the children to come over tonight. He needs some peace and quiet."
"But...what am I supposed to do? I can't cancel, Hermione would kill me!"
"Well, someone else will watch them, I'm sure. I'm sorry Ron. I'd best go, I just nipped out to get him some Pepper Up potion and put the kettle on. Bye kids." She waved, and with that, she pulled her head from the fire.
"Damn!" I hissed. "Damn damn, bloody damn!"
"Daddy!" Rose looked shocked.
"That was lots of naughty words!" Hugo giggled.
"Sorry," I muttered. "Dad's just a bit stressed."
"You still have to put the money in the jar 'cause mummy says so!" Rose told me matter of factly.
"I'll get it!" Hugo ran off, gleeful. I groaned, my own kids were going to bankrupt me at this rate!
Once I'd paid up my debts, much to Hugo's delight who was now shaking the jar to see how full it was, I sat on the sofa and tried to make some kind of plan as to what to do with the kids tonight whilst I went to meet with their teachers.
"Dad, what we gonna do?" Rose whined. "You said we'd do something fun," she flopped down on the sofa beside me and snuggled up to me.
"Yeah, I did, didn't I? Erm...right..." I put one arm around my daughter and scratched my chin with my other hand. "Well, what would like to do?"
"Go flying!" Hugo sighed, the jar sat forgotten beside him and he was back to gazing out the window at the rain with a miserable expression on his little face.
"Well you can't!" Rose told him firmly (see where I got the impression she was the perfect mini replica of her mother from?) "How about getting the paints out?" she asked, looking up at me hopefully.
"I did painting at school today," Hugo grumbled.
"Not with our special paints you didn't!" she poked her tongue out at her brother. She was of course referring to the Wheezes product – the magical paints that made art work move and come to life once cast with a little spell and touched with a wand. "They don't have them at Muggle school!"
"Well, I don't want to paint now anyway," he sighed and turned back to the window. I felt for my little buddy – there were times I remember as a young boy when all I wanted to do was fly my broom and couldn't for one reason or another.
"Can we bake some biscuits?" Rose then asked. Hugo looked over, a bit more hopeful.
I looked towards the clock on the mantelpiece. "We don't really have enough time today, honey," I patted her shoulder.
"I know! Let's get all the blankets out again and build dens and pirate ships like we did last week!" Hugo began enthusiastically and was about to charge off upstairs to strip all the beds and find every blanket in the house.
"Hold on," I called him back. "Don't you remember how upset Mummy was when she came home and saw the mess we'd made and that we had pulled everything off the beds?" I reminded him.
"Aaw, but it was fun!" he pouted.
"I know it was buddy," I smiled at my young son, "which is why we'll do it again another time when we have more time to make sure we get it all tidied up before your mum comes home," I promised them both consiprationally.
They both giggled. They might like to remind me about my bad language and stuff, but we had our own little secrets that their Mum didn't really need to know about.
"We could do some funny dancing again?" Rose was eyeing the radio sat in the corner of the room.
I smiled at that. Sometimes, on rainy days, we'd put the wireless on and see who could do the most ridiculous dancing to whatever song was playing. Hugo usually won, if we hadn't all collapsed from the exhaustion of laughing so much.
I sighed. "Daddy's too tired today Rosie Posie." I stroked her ginger curls. "Why don't the two of you play a game?" I suggested.
"Okay," she sighed. "Wanna play Gobstones Hugo?" she asked her brother.
"Okay," Hugo whined, finally forgetting about the rain.
"Good girl," I kissed the top of her head. "Why don't you set it all up then Rosie," I asked her as I got up off the sofa to go and grab my unfinished tea from the kitchen. "I'll come and play with you in a moment," I told them as she crawled towards the cupboard their games were kept in and Hugo hovered behind, trying to help.
I drank my tea down, wincing when I realised it had gone cold and then tidied the kitchen up, whilst trying to think of a solution for finding a babysitter for tonight. I knew Harry and Ginny were out – they had taken their kids away for a few days since Harry had a rare break from work. Checking the clock I assumed that both George and Percy would still be at work, as well as their wives. Charlie was obviously out of the country at work again. And I knew Bill wasn't an option because he was busy entertaining his in-laws who were visiting from France. He didn't need my two kids on top of that.
And that's when I remembered that our children did in fact have two sets of grandparents. I could call Hermione's mum. "Rose?" I shouted from the hallway, "do you know where your Mum keeps that little Muggle phone?"
"You mean the mobile?" I heard her ask as she came to find me.
"Yeah, that," I nodded, meeting her in the hallway.
She sighed, rolled her eyes and turned towards our home office. I followed her as she was opening a drawer in the desk and pulled the phone out, handing it to me silently.
"Thanks honey," I gave her a quick hug and then looked at the blank screen on the phone and turned it around a few times, frowning at the damn device. "Erm...you don't know how to turn it on, do you?" I asked her sheepishly.
"Oh daddy!" she giggled and took it from me, shaking her head. Within seconds she had it turned on and the screen was lighting up.
"Thank you," I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as she ran back to check Hugo hadn't been cheating or something.
It took some more fumbling and trying to remember what Hermione had done when she'd patiently taught me how to use the damn thing, but eventually I think I had managed to dial her parents number. There was a ringing sound anyway as I wandered back through to keep an eye on the kids - because sometimes they were the best of friends and played brilliantly together, and at other times they were fighting and murder seemed imminent!
"Hello?" someone answered the phone.
"Hello, Mrs Granger?" I asked, awkwardly. I really hated using Muggle devices – yes even now. I had to remind myself not to shout.
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Oh, it's Ron," I sighed in relief that I had managed to call the right person. The only other time time I had used it, and don't ask me how it happened, but I had managed to call the Muggle police! I'd panicked and shoved the phone at Hugo. They soon hung up when he began babbling away to them.
"Ron? Is everything all right?" she asked, sounding alarmed. I suppose I should have expected that, since Hermione only really used the phone in emergencies.
"Oh, yeah. It's just...I have to go out tonight to a parent's evening, Hermione has to work late and my Dad isn't well, so Mum is looking after him. And I just wondered if you'd be able to come over and watch the kids for me?" I rambled, frowning at myself as I wasn't sure any of that had made any sense.
She was quiet for a few moments. "Hello?"
"Oh, Ron, I'm sorry. Normally I would love to see them, but we're just about to walk out the door. We have tickets for the theatre in London tonight."
"Oh," I uttered and then put my hand over the phone. "Shit!" I hissed, missing the look my kids gave one another.
"Any other time, I would love to watch them, of course. I'm really sorry. Do you have anyone else to watch them?"
"Erm, er...no, not really." I groaned, sinking into the sofa again, watching the kids sat before the fireplace, flicking Gobstones at one another.
"I see. Well, not to worry, it's a parents evening you said? Just take the children with you."
"I can do that?" I asked, feeling confused as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"Yes, it will be fine. You'll find many other parents having to do the same. The teachers expect it and will have something prepared for them."
"Oh, right," I nodded, not knowing that little fact. Hermione has been insistent on us getting a babysitter for the evening. Though, maybe that was because after the meetings, the pair of us had planned to go out to dinner, just the two of us, for the first time in months. I deflated when I realised that wouldn't be happening tonight either.
"Don't worry, it will be fine. I'd best go. Give my love to the children and Hermione. See you soon."
"Yeah, thanks. Bye." She hung up and I was left starring at the stupid little Muggle device. Dropping it onto the sofa beside me, I groaned and ran my hands over my face. "Bloody fan'fuckin'tastic," I mumbled, feeling rather stressed out and pissed off.
I pulled my hands from my face only to find my son waving the swear jar in my face, a big, somewhat toothless, grin on his face.
"That was two more naughty words, Daddy!" Rose scowled at me.
"Eurgh, I wish we'd never taught you to count!" I grumbled.
"Come on daddy!" Hugo rattled the jar again, "time to pay up!" he giggled.
"Aaw, kids," I moaned, sinking further into the sofa, "give your poor Dad a break huh?"
"But mummy says..."
"Mummy isn't here, is she?" I reminded Rose. "So, what she doesn't know, can't hurt her, can it?" I raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"Is this like the paint mummy doesn't know about under the chair cushion?" Rose asked.
I grimaced, having forgotten about that. Hugo had managed to spill paint a couple of weeks ago all over the armchair. It had sort of been my fault - I'd been too engrossed in a Quidditch match on the wireless and hadn't been paying attention. But then he knew he shouldn't have had paint in the lounge either. Anyway, I'd tried a number of cleaning spells, magical removers and washing it the Muggle way, but all I'd succeeded in doing was smudging the whole thing into a bigger mess. So, we'd turned the cushion over and all swore never to mention it. I was surprised none of them had blabbed on me yet to be honest or that my wife hadn't found it herself.
"Yes Rose," I nodded, "kind of. Look, daddy is just a bit worried and upset about something tonight, I'm sorry for the bad words. But..." I grabbed the jar that Hugo was still rattling that was threatening to give me a headache. "How about I give you each a galleon and we'll forget about the jar tonight and Mum doesn't need to know?" I eyed them both seriously.
A smile grew on Hugo's face, before he punched a fist into the air. "Yes! We're rich!" he gleefully shouted and danced around the room.
Rose eyed me more carefully, considering the matter. "Well, okay daddy. But...naughty words are really not good!" she wagged her finger at me.
"I know honey, I'm sorry. Just daddy's naughty habit, but I'll try to do better. Love you," I gave her a hug and then tickled her. She giggled and squirmed out of my arms.
"Okay, okay!" she giggled, "let me go," she squealed as Hugo bounded on us too. There then followed some kind of strange group hug, dog pile, tickle attack, before the kids climbed off me, all panting, but with big grins on their faces. I might complain sometimes about them driving me mad and stuff, but I did adore my kids and loved spending time with them.
"Hows the game going?" I nodded towards the abandoned board on the floor, subtly changing the subject.
"I'm winning," Rose announced, rather proudly.
"No, I am!" Hugo pointed at himself.
"Stop fibbing Hugo! Only one of your stones went anywhere near mine!"
"Daaaaddy!" he whined.
I groaned again. "Be nice to each other. Now, go finish your game and then I'll play the winner, okay?" I promised. "Daddy needs another cup of tea first," I sighed, getting up and heading back to the kitchen.
What I really needed was a shot of firewhisky, but I didn't think alcohol on my breath would go down well at the school. The truth was, I was getting stressed out about these meetings at school. I still found most Muggle situations and culture uncomfortable – yes even though my wife was Muggleborn, I had Muggle in-laws and my children attended a Muggle Primary school. I might know enough through shopping in Muggle supermarkets or going out in Muggle London to get by, I understood the currency now in any case, but I still felt rather like a Bowtruckle out of it's tree.
I usually let slip something that I shouldn't or that only made sense in our world and then I had to back track to try to explain and just finished up tongue tied. Or I just felt like an idiot when they were talking to me about something of which I had no clue.
Eventually, after half a dozen games of Gobstones, cuddling together whilst reading a book that Rose had requested and then taking part in just one funny dance after they begged me to (no surprises that Hugo won – mostly because he pulled his trousers down and mooned us both) I noted it was time to start getting ready to go.
"Right!" I clapped my hands together after eyeing the clock. "Time to get ready," I informed the children, dread filling my stomach. Maybe I could tell Hermione it got cancelled? Nah, she'd find out, she always found out and it just wasn't worth an argument. I'd simply have to suck up the courage and get it over with. I had faced evil dark wizards, chased down bloody giants and man eating snakes…I could go talk to a primary school teacher, right?
"What for?" Hugo asked me as I shuffled off the sofa, turned the wireless off and then got down on my hands and knees to pick up their Gobstones that they'd left all over the floor.
"We're going to Grandma's, remember?" Rose told him, getting down on the floor to help me.
"Thanks honey," I smiled at her. "But, actually, no. We're not going to Grandma's now. Grandpa is feeling a bit poorly, so you'll have to come with me."
"But, where we going?" Hugo jumped down off the sofa and managed to land with his foot on one of the Gobstones. The stone in question burst and squirted the foul smelling liquid right in his sister's face.
Eurgh! Hugo!" she shrieked, wiping her face and flapping her hands around. "That's gross!"
Hugo laughed and then seeing his sister was about to give chase, he darted off. "Hey!" I called to the pair of them. "We don't have time for this, we need to get ready." I checked around and finally had all the Gobstones picked up, putting the board and the pouch of stones on the table, I chased after the kids, finding them half way up the stairs, yelling at one another. "Right, Hugo – shoes on. Now!" I told him firmly. "Rose, go wash your face and then come back down."
"But...where are we going?" Hugo asked me again, sliding very slowly on his backside down the stairs.
"We have to go to school," I told him, passing him his shoes and getting jackets ready.
"Huh?" he looked up at me from where he was now sat on the bottom step. "School?" he asked, incredulously. "But...but daddy, it's not morning!" he informed me, pointing towards the window where it was already dark – usual for November at this time of day. "And I didn't even go to bed yet!" he looked amazed and confused and as though I was mad all at once.
I couldn't help it, I laughed at him. "No buddy," I sat down before him on the floor to help him with his shoes, knowing it would be quicker. "You're not going to school to...well, spend the day at school. I'm not leaving you. I just have to go and talk to your teachers."
"Oh," he nodded knowingly. "Have you been naughty?" he whispered.
"What? No," I laughed at his question. "I have to go and talk to them about you two."
"Has Rosie been naughty again?" he asked.
"No," I ruffled his hair as I stood up. "I just have to talk to them to see how you're getting on at school or something," I replied. "I don't know, some rubbish your mum planned and then left me to deal with," I added under my breath.
"We're going to school?" Rose asked, stood at the top of the stairs drying her face on a towel.
"Yes," I sighed and checked my watch. I should have started getting them ready 20 minutes ago at this rate.
Rose shrieked, dropped the towel and ran back down the hallway.
"Rose! Come on, we need to leave in five minutes!" I called up to her.
"Wait!" she yelled back.
I groaned as I handed Hugo his jacket and then looked at his face. "Hugo, go wash your face too, you have chocolate all round you mouth." I could have sworn that hadn't been there a moment ago – had he snuck back into the kitchen and swiped another chocolate biscuit without me seeing him? Likely, to be honest.
"Okay..." he grumbled, acting as though I had asked him to do something incredibly strenuous as he trudged upstairs one step at a time.
"And for Merlin's sake, get a move on!"
Were kids just programmed to drive their parents mad? Were they born with some secret sensor that went off the moment they realised parents were in a hurry or busy, so the kid would switch to a go slow or something? I swear these kids, as much as I loved them, were going to give me grey hairs before my time!
Rose came speeding down the stairs just as Hugo reached the top, and presented me with a hairbrush and two fluffy, pink hair bobbles. "What are these for?" I asked, staring at them in my hand.
"You have to do my hair!" she told me, rather urgently, hands waving in the air.
"But, it's fine." I lied. It did look a bit of a mess – the plaits Hermione had carefully tied her hair up in this morning were coming loose, some strands of hair had wiggled free and one plait now hung much lower than the other.
"No!" she practically wailed and stamped her foot. "I can't go to school with messy hair," she insisted and thrust the brush at me again.
"But, you're not actually going to school. I'm just going to talk to your teachers for a few minutes and then we're coming home."
"Yeah, but...but what if Nina Stonebridge is there? She'll make fun of me if I have messy hair and...please daddy?" she looked up at me imploringly.
"Is this kid bothering you?" I wondered.
She shrugged. "She's just mean."
"And she's got a big fat nose!" Hugo added, sliding back down the stairs on his backside again.
"Is she being mean to you though?" I asked, worried that my kids were being bullied by some snotty little Muggle brat. I tell you, nothing brings out my old Auror battle instincts faster than having those I loved threatened in any way.
"She's just mean to everyone daddy. She's not very nice," she sniffed. "So, please do my hair?" she asked again.
I sighed deeply and glanced at my watch again. "Fine, but it will have to be quick," I told her, leading her back into the kitchen and sitting her down on top of the table so I could reach her easier, whilst also making a mental note to mention this Stonebridge kid to her teacher.
Now, being a bloke and never having had much hair to do anything with myself, brushing girls long hair into any style was not my forte at all. It was something Hermione always did for our daughter, so I had never bothered to learn. But, Rose had looked so sad and worried, I couldn't deny her. I managed to pull the old bobbles out easily enough, with only one little 'ouch' uttered. And even managed to brush through it all after untangling the half plaited hair.
"Daddy!" she winced, grabbed her head as I caught a knot.
"Sorry." I muttered, tongue out as I brushed through it all once more. "There, looks fine now," I told her.
She looked up at me as though I was insane. "You can't leave it like this!" she shrieked, holding out two strands either side of her head. "You have to plait it, like mummy does!"
"Oh Rosie...daddy doesn't know how to do that."
"It's easy," she rolled her eyes at me.
"I do it!" Hugo piped up, standing up from the floor where he'd been sat and I noted he had biscuit crumbs around his mouth again. Where the hell was the sly little git getting them from?
"No you will not!" Rose shouted and covered her head with her hands so he couldn't touch her hair.
"Well, I think it's looks pretty down, just like mummy's," I told her. "And we really don't have time to do anything else."
"Daddy, please. Just put this one bobble in? Make a pony tail, they're easy."
A pony tail, okay...I could manage that, right? Taking a deep breath, I tried to gather her hair together in one hand – the way I had seen Hermione do with her own rather effortlessly countless of times. Just when I thought I had it, a clump would slip free and I'd grab it, only to loose strands the other side.
"Dammit!" I cursed out loud, trying again. Hugo sat on the floor watching us, giggling. "Don't even think about it buddy – no more cash for you today!" I wagged the brush at him and tried to control this damn hair. To be fair, it might have been easier if our poor daughter hadn't inherited her mum's mass of curls. They were soft and springy and...hard to deal with. Now I understood why Hermione always got frustrated with her own hair and threatened to chop it all off on regular occasions.
"There! Got it!" I exhaled deeply when all the hair was finally gathered in one hand. And then came the tricky part of trying to stretch the elastic hair bobble over the lot without letting any of it go. The first hair bobble I pulled too far, it snapped and flew across the room – crashing with a ping against something on the shelf. If I was lucky, it would be that damn swear jar and maybe it would break.
"Shit!" I hissed under my breath. "You got that other bobble, honey?" I asked, sighing in defeat.
She handed it over. "Be gentle, daddy!" she was grimacing and trying to tug her head back.
"I'm trying, sit still," I replied getting really frustrated with it all. How the hell did women do this to themselves everyday? I started again, determined not to be beaten by a bloody hair bobble – I had gone up against Death Eaters, this bit of elastic was not going to defeat me.
I stretched it out again, slowly this time and not as wide, slid it over the bunch of hair somehow and rolled it to the top near her head. Only, it was too big and I realised I was going to have to wind it around again. Muttering curses to myself as poor Rose, bless her, sat wincing in pain, I managed to twist it and pull it over her hair and then it got stuck, large clumps of hair tangled in it.
"Ouch! Daddy!" she squealed, reaching around with her hand and touching her hair. "What did you do?" she whirled around with a face full of accusation.
"I'm sorry," I let her hair go as if it had burnt me, holding my hands up in surrender. "I don't know what I'm doing. I made a mess!" I cringed at the sight of her hair – the bobble well and truly stuck.
"You look funny!" Hugo chuckled, pointing and throwing himself back on the floor as he giggled.
"Not helping buddy!" I muttered.
"Shut up Hugo!" she hissed as her brother. "I want Mummy!" she sobbed, almost in tears.
"Oh Rosie, I'm so sorry honey," I hugged her. "Daddy is just useless with hair." SHIT! What was I going to do? We were already late, since we had a 10 minute walk from our usual Apparition spot yet and I was getting stressed and very hot and bothered. Hugo was still laughing and pointing at his sister and Rose was now crying. "Daddy's sorry Rosie Posie," I kissed the top of her head and tried to tug the hair free, she cried out and I stopped instantly. "Sorry, sorry!" I backed away, my hands in my own hair, grasping it as I wondered what the hell I could do.
"We goin' now Daddy?" Hugo asked, tugging on my trousers.
"No, I need to sort your sister's hair out, don't I?" I muttered, looking around the kitchen, hoping for inspiration.
"Why?" he wondered, peering up at me.
"Why? Look at it!" I told him, thrusting my hand towards her.
Rose looked at me sadly from her perch upon the kitchen table.
I chewed on my bottom lip, still not knowing what to do. Where the hell was my wife when we needed her? Busy at work, and I couldn't exactly go barging in there right now, could I? I could see it now, me bursting into some important hearing in the Wizengamot, claiming it was an emergency and then making everyone wait whilst Hermione sat and plaited our daughter's hair. Oh yeah, that would go down amazingly.
And then, turning I spied the rack of knives on the top shelf – out of the children's reach. Cut it. I had to cut the bobble out. It was the only solution. "We're going to have to cut it Rosie," I told her, rummaging in the drawer for some scissors. I knew there were a pair in here somewhere.
"My hair?" she shrieked, grasping her hands over her head.
"No honey, just the bobble. We'll cut the bobble out." I pulled the scissors out victoriously and approached her with them. She looked wary, eyeing me suspiciously. After the mess I had made, I didn't blame her one little bit. "Now, just sit still and..."
"Don't you dare cut my hair daddy!" she warned me, furiously.
"I'll be very careful," I promised, hoping I was able to keep it. Just using the tip of the scissors I snipped carefully at the elastic, a couple of strands of hair got cut too, but I didn't think she'd notice. And finally, the elastic fell in two pieces and began to unwind. "Yes!" I yelled, feeling triumphant as I set the scissors down and pulled her hair free. I managed to brush through the new knots I had created, as poor Rose winced and whined about it. "There, all better." I smiled, relieved I had got us out of that mess.
"But, its still not up, daddy," she sighed, running her hand over it.
"Be grateful you still have hair!" I muttered. "Hang on, let me try something else," I suddenly remembered something Ginny used to do. Having found a green ribbon in the drawer I had rummaged through for the scissors (and which was overflowing everywhere now) I cast the spell I had remembered. The ribbon left my hand and gently gathered the hair together, tying it all in a neat little ponytail down her back.
Rose reached back to touch it. "You did it daddy!" she cried in glee.
"Yeah, finally," I sighed, grateful it was over and vowing never to do her hair again. Or maybe I should get Hermione to give me some lessons. "Why didn't I remember that earlier?" I rolled my eyes at myself, knowing I could have saved myself ten minutes of anxiety.
"You're so silly daddy!" Hugo giggled.
"Charming, thanks son," I nodded at him. "Right, shoes, jackets," I grabbed both articles of clothing from where I'd tossed them over a chair, and checked we all had shoes on. "Let's go!" I took both of their hands, pulled them in close to me and Disapparated from the kitchen.
So, let me know if you liked it and I'll get on with editing the next chapter :)