Yu-gi-oh Abridged the Zexaled series
Script: episode 8
Title: the adventures of Kiteman and Drunken Robot
Cast: Yuma, Tori, Astral, Caswell, Kite, Orbital, Shark, Mr. Kay, Alexis, Akiza, Super hero narrator
The episodes starts with Yuma and Astral sitting on his couch while Tori watches them as they watch Bleach (when Nitoria and Kenpachi are fighting)
Tori: so, this is what you've been doing all week
Yuma: yup
Tori: can I ask why
Yuma: that would be because of Astral, I found that if I put him in front of a T.V he isn't screaming about the "N" word
Tori: I didn't realize he was racist
Yuma: not that one the other one
Tori: what other one?
Yuma: forget it, all you need to know is he is contempt with watching it
Astral: I like how Kenpachi is like Broly but better written
Yuma: sure Astral
Tori: and so you have just been watching it with him all week?
Yuma: not just this but pretty much every anime, One Piece, Naruto, Dragon Ball, Kill la Kill, Hunter x Hunter you name it we have probably watched it
Tori: and this is better than finding numbers because
Yuma: because they are hard to find, the usually end up finding us anyway, besides there's no crisis or bug bad guy ready to do stuff so what's the point
The scene changes to another location and Kite is there
Kite: Orbital get up, it's time to start doing stuff.
Intro
Super Hero narrator: mean while at the Kite cave (the scene goes to Kites base as orbital is busy on the computer)
Orbital: yeah that's right work those pistons, oh mama
Kite: (kite enters) Orbital
Orbital: I wasn't doing anything
Kite: well now we are
Orbital: and by we you mean
Kite: Heartland has told us that it's time to start looking for the envoy from Astral world
Orbital: and that is?
Kite: it's basically the reason why the numbers are here on earth apparently he arrived about a month or two ago
Orbital: so if the numbers have only recently been here, what exactly where we are doing before hand
Kite: do you care
Orbital: nah
Kite: good, so anyway the envoy
Orbital: right, so basically I've been looking for stuff that might be related to Astral world and do you remember that kid who thought he died and was acting like a little bitch
Kite: I do, I mean I get why he was like that but still
Orbital: yeah well turns out that he was wearing this pendant here and that it just so happens to be Astral worlds insignia, and you freakin let this kid like an idiot (laughs)
Kite: Hart was in pain
Orbital: you were literally about to win
Kite: I couldn't risk that
Orbital: oh ok and what exactly did you do when we got here oh right Hart was in bed asleep, yeah defiantly worth missing out on a freakin treasure trove
Kite: uh, and you better go get that pendant before I start designing Orbital-8
Orbital: (under his "breath" as he leaves) oh ok you can dish it out but can't take it huh
Kite: and don't kill anyone
Orbital: I promise to maybe not do that
Kite: I know you were watching robot porn
Orbital: go ahead and look maybe it gives you a Bonner, first time for anything (a door slams and he leaves)
Kite: I thought that having a robot that acted like bender would be fun but no it's the opposite
The next scene at school and Yuma and Tori are on their way to swim class
Yuma: finally time to swim, ah I can't wait
Tori: you gonna try and break some of your records
Yuma: we'll see, we'll see but for now its pool ti-
Caswell: Stop
Yuma: Caswell you better have a good fucking reason to be stopping me form getting in that pool
Caswell: I do and it's that you can't bring your key into the pool
Yuma: what since when
Caswell: since you did this to me (he removes his cap to reveal a large cartoony bump on his head) look at this
Yuma: it's just an anime bump it will be gone by next scene
Caswell: that's not the point
Yuma: see its already gone
Caswell: and I'd rather not get another one
Alexis: (in the voice of her from Yugioh GX abridged) You should probably listen to him Yuma he sounds smart
Akiza: (in voice from Bonds beyond time abridged) yeah it dosent seem safe to bring something that sharp into a pool (there are character models of them as an Easter egg from the actual episode in the back ground of this scene)
Yuma: shut up Alexis and Akiza cameos, ugh fine I'll put my key away but not because you said so Caswell but because Alexis and Akiza are very pretty
Caswell: good (Yuma then goes to put his key in his locker)
Meanwhile outside the gym Shark is standing around
Shark: God dam it, I'm wearing a freakin school uniform I look so stupid, I have a feeling I'm going to lose a lot of badass points
Mr. Kay: hello Reginald
Shark: oh Mr. Kay hi
Mr. Kay: it's been sometime since I've seen you in school, look at you in your uniform you look like a good per-
Shark: ah ah no don't say it just don't
Mr. Kay: well ok then bye Reginald and try not to fight any robots
Shark: uh huh, wait robots the hell does that (suddenly Orbital comes on screen as he makes the James bond theme with his mouth as he sneaks into the locker room) it's going to be one of those days isn't it (Shark follows him)
Now they are in the locker room
Orbital: (while he is using x-ray vision on the lockers) alright now where are, there ow time for my super decoding skills (he looks like he is about to crack the lock but then he just punches through the locker and grabs Yuma's key) ehhehe (suddenly shark come int and snatches the key from Orbital) WHAt The ( he then notices Shark) hey what the hell man you can't steal that I was already stealing it
Shark: I'm not stealing anything this belongs to my uh uh, what's the word
Orbital: you mean friend?
Shark: yeah that,
Orbital: I feel like if you were, you would know what friend means
Shark: in my defense he is my first and you're not taking this pendant thing, wait didn't I break this in the first episode
Orbital: oh you broke his jewelry yeah sounds like a real friend
Shark: we weren't friends yet and your still not going to steal
Orbital: so your stopping me then
Shark: yeah
Orbital: cool (orbital then transform and grows bigger with a drill and laughs as Shark watches in fear) kill all human
Shark: ahhhh ( he runs out of the locker room into the hallway as Orbital burst through the wall chasing him)
Orbital: come back meat bag
Shark: (while running) make friends they said it be fun they said, I'M BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING ROBOT!
after some time passes people notice the hole and eventually Yuma and his group arrives
Tori: what the hell happened
Yuma: there's a frekin hole in the wall, where did that come from, wait is that my locker (he goes to it) oh no, my key, m-my key is gone! Someone stole it and my meal ticket and someone … CASWELL!
Caswell: what did I do
Yuma: (mocking Caswell) oh you need to take your key off Yuma because I'm a fuckin asshole, (no longer mocking) you mother fucker
Caswell: how was I supposed to know it get stolen
Tori: maybe there still in the building
Yuma: Tori's right we got to find it and Caswell if we don't so help me God
Caswell: well let's get to it then
Now on the roof Shark is still running from Orbital and then Trips
Orbital: ha ha ha it's going to take a miracle to save you, meat bag
Shark: uh
Orbital: (while about to attack him) kill all human
Kite: (just before the drill gets to Shark) Orbital!
Orbital: hi Kite
Kite: Orbital what was the one thing I said you couldn't do
Orbital: uh watch robot porn
Kite: no it was killing people
Orbital: that's what I'm trying to do
Kite: NOT to kill people
Orbital: whatever this guy's yours, and for the record I was watching robot porn
Kite: you'll have to excuse my robot, I thought it would be funny if he acted that way but I'm the only one who isn't laughing
Shark: your fucking robot just tried to mince me
Kite: well you did steal something from
Shark: he stole it I was stealing it back
Kite: Semitics, point is I need that pendant you got there
Shark: I'm not afraid of you, your robot might be scary but when it comes to card games I'm one of the best, after all I am the rival
Kite: I'm sorry I could have sworn you just said you're the rival
Shark: well yeah I dueled Yuma in the first episode, I was a dick to him for a few but now I have a respect for him
Kite: oh you respect him, yeah no I'm the rival
Shark: bullshit
Kite: oh just look at me I'm a freakin baddass genius who is known as a number hunter, sorry but you more like the series Joey
Shark: isn't Yuma more like?
Kite: no you idiot, yes Yuma is kind like Joey but I'm referring to his role, you know the Cyrus, the crow that the best friend
Shark: no way I'm so the rival you're just the antagonist
Kite: A I'm not the main antagonist, B since when would that even matter, you know what I'm sick of this give me the key
Shark: no
Kite: Orbital!
Shark: uh I mean you have to duel me for it
Kite: oh really
Shark: yeah because not only do I have this key, but I uh, I also have a number card
Kite: you do
Shark: so if you want it then we have to duel, and the winner not only gets the pendant, but they also get to be the rival
Kite: well someone just lost their soul, bring it
Duel starts
Shark: (thinking) ok so if this guy hunts number cards then that must mean his deck I devoted to bringing them out, meaning I can exploit that
Kite: (thinking) I bet this moron thinks my deck is devoted to summoning numbers, if so I'm going to troll him so hard.
Shark: first I'll discard my big jaws to activate shark sanctuary, with this you can't attack me with any monsters whose attack points are 1800 or less next I'll summon my Shocktpus and place a card face down (thinking) Perfect now he'll need to summon a powerful monster to even attack me as like a number, and when he does its mine
Kite: (thinking) oh trying to force me to summon a number right let me guess so you can steal it yup like an open book and what have we here oh yes this this will crush him (outload) alright then squid
Shark: its Shark
Kite: keep telling yourself that, I'm going to use one of the most iconic cards in the game but for some reason is only ever used twice in the entirety of the show, behold polymerization
Shark: your shitting me right now
Kite: nope, and with it I fuse together my two photon lizards to summon twin photon lizards
Shark: ( you got to be fucking kidding me the only person who has polymerization in this show and he has to use it)
Kite: and since a monster with more than 1800 atk points was summoned your sanctuary is gone, Twin Photon attack the squid
Shark: he's an octupu- (Shocktupus is destroyed) s
Kite: and so's your hair
Shark: you think your so cleaver well you activated shocktpuses ability he latches on to the monster that destroyed him lowering its attack to zero and prevent its battle position from changing
Kite: then I'll activate twin photons abilty, letting me de-fuse him into the two monsters that were used to summon him (Twin photon Lizard splits into two regular photon lizards)
Shark: (thinking) two level threes oh come on do it do it give me what I want
Kite: (thinking) time to give him what he wants (out loud) I overlay my two photon lizards, with them I xyz summon Number 30 Acid Golem (Number 30 is summoned
Shark: yes I activate my trap card splash capture, by banishing jaws and shocktupus I get to take control of an xyz monster that you summoned, now Aid Golem is mine, (he laughs but when Acid golem is taken over he gets the 30 symbol on his hand which causes him to tremble for a moment) woah any got your number thanks for that
Kite: your very welcome (thinking) hook line and sincker (out loud) well not to leave you with a total advantage I'll use force capture detaching golems overlay units, I place a card face down and end my turn
Shark: whatever, it my turn now
Kite: and Acid golems abilty activates
Shark: say what
Kite: during your stand by phase you either detach one overlay unit from golem or he deals you 2000 points of damage
Shark: 2000?
Kite: yup so you probably want to de tahc- oh wait that's right have fun (Acid golem deals the damage to Shark
Shark: so what this thing's still got 3000 attack points and your field is empty
Kite: he can't attack without overlay units
Shark: are you serious
Kite: very good job you took a worthless number from me, well it's not so worthless right now but you know
Shark: you set me up
Kite: no shit, I read you like an open book your obvious strategy to restrict my attack to you cutting my monsters attack all pointed towards it, so I gave you exactly what you deserved
Shark: I place a card face down and end my turn (thinking) ok Shark you got played hard but its ok I can avoid damage with my face down and this things got 3000 atk so at least it's a wall)
Kite: you know you really are easy to read, not only did you think to try and take my numbers, but you also assumed that my entire deck I dedicated to summoning them out didn't you
Shark: well isn't it
Kite: you couldn't be farther from the truth, I summon photon thrasher and photon crusher, and next I sacrifice both of them in order to summon a monster without peer, a monster called forth to banish the darkness come forth Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon (Galaxy-Eyes is summoned during his speech)
Shark: what is that
Kite: the real headliner of my deck and my ace, now Galaxy-eyes attack acid golem
Shark: what why it can't be destroyed unless it by another number
Kite: and by now you should now that without overlay units that thing is basically worthless now destroy it (acid golem and galaxy eyes are destroyed)
Shark: ha you moron you should have just left it but now you've given me a chance and its going to fuck me over again isn't it
Kite: oh look its learning, you know what Shark I take it back you're not the Joey Wheeler of the series, hell you barely qualify to be Tristan
Shark: why you son of a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-(Shark loses the rest of his life points)
Kite: uh now I'll be taking this pendant and your number (Kite takes Yuma's key and uses his hand to take Sharks soul) now your number belongs to me (he can't squeeze the ball) to me (still can't squeeze it) to me (still) oh come one wait does this mean he didn't have a number then (thinking) should I give this back then, naw that guy was a douche (he absorbs Sharks soul) (Yuma then appears on the roof)
Yuma: what the hell's going on I saw lighting and KITE?! SHARK?! My key
Kite: bye (Kite leaves)
Yuma: no
Tori: what happened
Yuma: the worst case scenario
Caswell: well at least no one was – (he is interrupted by a now gasping and near dead looking Shark) oh (Yuma now looks at Caswell with anger) so uh Yuma can we (Yuma then punches him as the others look at him) ow
Yuma: what he fucking deserved that and you know it
To be continued, end of episode.