This is for amandr.

An embarrassingly long time ago we swapped fic prompts. She provided an awesome BtVS/TP fic, and I dropped the ball. Well, her prompts were something like Vera and Incense (at least, that's how I remember them) and I've had the idea forever (actually, I think the idea was stolen from jadefire88 ). But today I sat down and hammered it out. Thanks to jadefire88 for the plot spark and for a quick beta-read this afternoon. Also, this was my first foray into the FF Verse. So I'm a mite nervous.

The Lover's Curse

one

It all started because Kaylee was in love.

Well, that wasn't completely accurate. It all started because Kaylee volunteered to pick up the mail and supplies on Greenhorn. The love part, in the form of the doctor, wasn't anything new. Kaylee was usually the first to raise her hand high when it came time to go planet-side, and the captain more often than not let her go – the girl was just so gorram enthusiastic about new places that it was hard to shut her down.

The love wouldn't have been any trouble, no more than any other day, had the object of Kaylee's crush not volunteered himself to go right along with her, mumbling something about some new compound he wanted to try for River. And Kaylee, of course, what with the love and all – Kaylee was over the moon.

"No dilly-dallying," Mal scolded, as the crew assembled in the cargo hold to see them off. "We gotta schedule to keep."

Zoe hid her frown. She wasn't any happier than Mal at the notion of Simon leaving the ship to begin with, what with him and his sister being Public Enemy Numbers One and Two on the Alliance radar. But Simon had insisted in his cool, unmovable way, and in the end Mal had caved. On one condition – a condition Simon hadn't accepted with anything approaching Kaylee's good cheer.

"It's a fine hat," Kaylee insisted.

"It's very... orange." Simon glanced back at the captain, as if hoping he'd change his mind. "And itchy."

"Inappropriate," River added from her perch on catwalk, eyes huge and solemn. No one asked precisely what she meant by the word, but then, no one contradicted her either.

"You lose that hat," Jayne said, fingering Vera, "And..."

"I get it." Simon yanked the woolen monstrosity further over his ears. His dark hair poked out in uneven clumps around his forehead. "Bad things will happen. I'll be writhing in agony under the power your wrath." Jayne scowled.

"Don't forget the protein mix!" Wash called from somewhere overhead. Even River's nose wrinkled.

Kaylee didn't take Simon's hand in hers, though it looked a close thing. Her grin was big and infectious, like some kind of giddy disease. Mal was immune.

"Two hours," he yelled, as sunlight hit Kaylee's pigtails and Simon's disguise and the mule kicked a cloud of dust behind them. "Two hours, or you're both shit out of luck. Dong ma?."

Two hours and seven minutes later, Serenity swallowed the mule back up and shut her hatch tight.

"It's like Christmas," Kaylee's grin had taken over her entire body while she'd been dirtside. That much happiness would have been disconcerting on anybody else. Kaylee bounced off the mule, swinging her canvas bags down with her. Simon followed, tearing off the hat (home safe and undamaged, if a mite dustier than it was before they left), trying and failing to keep his own smile at a safe minimum. They still weren't holding hands, but they moved through the cargo hold together with the easy coordination of two bodies in sync, constantly in each others space without colliding. Simon took one of the bags from her and followed up the metal stairs to the kitchen.

"Are we getting close?" Kaylee asked Book, who was busy at the kitchen counter chopping up the last of the dried fruit.

"Close?" Book set the knife down and brightened.

"Christmas." Kaylee dumped her bag on the table and Simon followed suit, his shoulder brushing hers.

"Oh, we've got awhile yet," Book said. "It's only just August."

"Saturnalia," River added, her voice startling them all. She poked her head out from under the table. She squinted up at her brother, still beaming at Kaylee. "Or maybe Lupercalia." When all eyes turned to her with varying levels of puzzlement, she grimaced. "One takes over from the next. Layers, mutations, spores taking root and sprouting in fertile soil. Underneath, they're all the same." The puzzlement deepened and she rolled her eyes. "St. Valentine's Day. Qi Xi."

Book blinked.

Simon blushed. Kaylee still looked befuddled.

"That's a mite further off even than Christmas." Book said, returning to his chopping. River sank back under the table, sulking behind the curtain of her hair.

The crew gathered around the kitchen table, shifting in anticipation like kids at Santa's knee despite the Shepard's insistence that the holiday was long off. Behind her, even Mal bounced on the balls of his feet. Not that the Captain ever got mail, or asked for much of anything from planet-side trips besides the essentials.

"'Kay, here we go." Kaylee opened her bag with a flourish and everyone leaned forward. She grinned wide and fished her hand inside the canvas, beaming at Simon, who stood across the table from her, hunched between Jayne and Wash. Jayne was near quivering, and he started to grab the bag out of Kaylee's hands before a jab in his ribs from Mal sent him sulking back.

"Ooo. First, we got..." and Kaylee hesitated, building up the moment like a sideshow caller. Zoe wondered where she'd picked up the talent for sadism. Kaylee pulled out a big tan box and dropped it to the table with a thump. "Protein powder!"

Wash groaned. "Kaylee-" When had her husband turned into a whiner? Zoe caught Book in a smirk, and when he noticed her looking his face smoothed over quick as laser fire.

"Okay, Okay," Kaylee said, rummaging in her sack again. "This is for River." She handed over a bound stack of thin discs. "I know you can't get on the Core for more stuff to read, and these are just knockoff pulp stories we found in the swap meet; but Simon said you might like 'em."

River squinted at the metallic stack and glanced sidelong at her brother. No peep of thanks, but her dark hair fell over her face in a cascade and she kept fingering the discs like she could read them by touch. Kaylee took it in stride and her eyes were back on Simon, watching for his matching smile.

And in that pause, while Kaylee was admiring her doctor, Jayne launched himself half across the table and shoved his hands into the bag.

"Hey!" Kaylee squeaked. Simon's eyebrows shot up, and Book just rolled his eyes.

"Where is it?" Jayne managed, as Mal and Wash hauled him back to his side of the table.

Flustered, Kaylee pulled the bag back towards her chest and glared. "Why'd you have to go and do that. You always ruin the fun." And Jayne had the good sense to hang his head.

"Fine. Here." Kaylee reached inside without looking and thrust a brown-paper wrapped package into his hands. "Go on. Go away. You got what you wanted. Shoo."

Jayne sulked off and left the table in peace, but the moment had passed.

"Inara, they didn't have the incense you wanted, but the shop girl recommended this instead. She said it was loose, but you could just burn it in a dish. Smells real nice."

Inara accepted the package, nearly the size and shape of whatever it was Jayne had run off with, and gave Kaylee a kiss on the cheek. Kaylee turned to Mal with a little frown.

"Cap'n, there weren't no note from Guffman. Sorry."

Mal didn't react, but Zoe's insides squeezed together. This was the third stop without word from any of their usual contacts. Kaylee might have come back with a bag of goodies; but without work all the goodies in the 'verse weren't gonna keep them in the sky.

Wash got a package he wouldn't explain, though he and Kaylee shared a grin Zoe didn't quite trust. Kaylee said Zoe's request – two boxes of shells for her rifle and a pot of hand balm – was the easiest to fill, 'cept Book's – and the Shepard hadn't asked for anything this time.

Once the sack was empty of the crew's requests Kaylee brought out the rest of the usual supplies and put them away, and then the kitchen went back to quiet. Kaylee skipped off with her new set of ratchets to try 'em out on the engine. Simon carried his vials of drugs to the infirmary. Wash kissed the back of Zoe's neck and muttered something to Mal about having the night off. When they were all gone, Mal sat at the head of the table and scrubbed his face with this hands.

"We'll get word, sir," Zoe offered. She stayed standing, eyeing her captain. Mal dropped his hands and wouldn't meet her gaze, lines at his mouth she hadn't seen there for a long time. He shoved away from the table and stalked off towards the bridge, leaving her behind with her worry and her bullets and her balm.

Key:

dong ma? got it? understand?
Qi Xi lit. "The Night of Sevens" or Chinese Valentine's Day sort of.