In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand? Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair? Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat.
- Blink 182, "First Date"
First date. First date. First date. First. Date.
Touya Kinomoto is not a 'nervous' person. Anyone who brushes elbows with him knows he is calm, cool, collected. He is that guy who scores the winning goal and doesn't break a sweat. He is the one that gives you the 'sideways look' when someone complains about being anxious. And Touya certainly, certainly, CERTAINLY does not break down when cutesy little girls come flocking to him after said soccer game.
Well, if they could just see him now: sweaty palms, nervous glancing, and an unyielding urge to pee. When did peeing become such a usual thing, all of a sudden?
First date….It's our first date…
It's Yuki. It 's just Yuki. And Yuki is looking just handsome this evening. His high-collared, grey turtleneck is hugging his slim shoulders, so Touya could see muscle moving, even when the man shifts slightly. Right now, Yukito is skimming over the menu of dim-sum, his eyebrows gently knotting in food-centric concentration.
It's just Yuki, Touya thinks again. Even as the thought enters his brain, Yukito looks up at just the right second.
The young man smiles warmly, and speaks softly. "Know what you're having?" Yuki asks quietly, not wanting to ruin the tranquility of the dimmed restaurant.
"Still looking," Touya responds noncommittally, and glances back down at the selection of dumplings.
Touya is quite familiar with the menu. Actually, he knows everything on the menu. It's one of their spots, and each man has their favorites. Sometimes, when they come to this place, they order just some appetizers, and sometimes they order all the appetizers.
Yet it isn't 'just Touya and Yuki' tonight, and it isn't just 'let's go get some snacks after class.' This is their date. Their first date.
The teahouse sported casual fare during the day, but in the evening, the establishment changed the music, dimmed the lights, and even supported a hostess that greeted you. Girls wore dresses – dresses. Men wore…things, nice things! And the menu showcased top-dollar, fancier dinner prices.
Really fancy dinner prices, Touya mentally grumbles. He joins Yukito in frowning, but over the cost, not the selection.
"You okay?" Yuki asks again, still smiling pleasantly. Behind his glasses, the soft illumination of the table's candle alights Yuki's amber eyes.
Crap, crap, crap, I must look miserable. Touya screws his face into something more social, and nods (despite his now-increasing urge to urinate).
Yuki places a finger to his lips in thought, and Touya lets his eyes graze the room. Yes, this is his first date, but the room spins a different tale. Around him, comfortable couples dine, and chat, and giggle about this and that. Their faces, illuminated by the tiny tealight candles, easily glow with conversation and company. Waiters and waitresses move like fluid shadows, placing dinner plates and drinks with ease. No one looks quite nervous. No couple looks 'new.' His eyes fall on a booth in a far corner, the light falling about the figures in a sultry contrast. The two are huddled close together, their hands intertwining. Before Touya could blink, their lips are, too.
Touya once again looks up at Yuki, attempting an air of nonchalance. He keeps the menu close as he tries to be as inconspicuous as possible. He is ignoring the two in the corner who are busy swapping spit. While the far-away couple is obnoxiously making out, no one seems to really mind. Only Touya, whose nervous thoughts are all over the place, seems to be bothered by the romantic act.
I haven't kissed anyone like that since…Kaho. Touya stops the thought. He pushes it down, deep, and deeper, until he thinks of the man before him. Heat creeps up to Touya's ears at the very thought of expressing his love to Yuki.
But who is he kidding? It's just their first date.
The waitress places a drink in front of him, and the 'plop' of the placed glass shakes Touya away from his mental conversation. She smiles at the two men, and grabs her pen and pad. "Ready, gentleman?" she asks with practiced politeness.
"You go first, Touya," responds Yuki, after thanking the waitress.
"I…" Touya starts. He needs to pee. He really, really needs to pee. And he had no idea what he wants to eat. His decides just this once; the nerves have gotten to him.
"Sorry, I gotta use the restroom."
As Touya quickly rises, he drops his cloth napkin and bangs his knee on the table, causing his lemonade to spill. The clank of a falling glass seems to knock the other customers out of their romantic stupor, and eyes suddenly fall on Touya's table. That's when Touya realizes something: some of the spectators actually look familiar!
Touya Kinomoto doesn't get nervous. But here he is, knocking glasses over and bruising his knee, all because of this damn urge to pee!
That's it. Without saying anything, Touya beelines for the restrooms, leaving behind an apologizing waitress and a baffled, befuddled Yuki.
It was a mad rush. The hot burn of gazing eyes scourges into the very fabric of his shirt as he walks into the off-the-side hallway. The maroon-and-burgundy colored wallpaper make the bathroom trip even more confusing as it eats up the already-dimmed lighting. Before it's too late, Touya haphazardly bum-rushes an innocent bystander coming from the ladies' room. The poor girl is knocked so hard, she falls neatly against the patterned wall.
"Miss! God, I'm sorry!" apologizes Touya, throwing all his cold politeness to the wind.
"…Touya?" comes a tiny, girly, familiar voice.
This can't be happening, thinks Touya, even as his bladder tips on the point of exploding. Standing flat against the dark wall is Yoko, his most well-know suitor – on the night of his first date, no less – with big eyes, flushed cheeks, and clenched hands.
Of course, in the miniscule hallway, she's blocking the men's room.
Touya can see Yoko's eyes widening in the darkness. She warms up quickly, despite being propelled into a wall. There's a blooming blush crawling into her cheeks. "Touya, hi…" she states, absolutely failing to be casual. In school, Yoko is nothing short of a demure lady, but perhaps the mood of the damned place gets the best of her. Within seconds, she switches on feminine charm. "Are you…alone?" she asks, curiosity and hope tingeing her voice. She removes herself from the wall and inches closer to Touya.
"Yes," says Touya automatically, but then realizes Yoko wasn't asking about the bathroom. "No, I mean…I'm here with someone."
"Oh," replies Yoko, her face softening in disappointment. The girl blinks a few times, obviously at loss for words, and lets the seconds tick by. FINALLY, good riddance, Touya mentally gripes as he reaches around the Yoko's girly form, hoping to head straight for the nearest urinal. Yoko, still speechless, allows the man to pass, but steals a glance into the dining room. Probably wondering who I'm with, Touya notes as he pushes the door of the restroom open.
"Ah!" Touya hears Yoko gasp, sounding much more like her usual self. "I see Yukito! I'm here with friends, too." Friends? "We're not –" begins Touya, but Yoko continues, "I'll go distract him while you're…relieving yourself." She offers Touya another suggestive glance and heads off.
Touya released the bathroom door and turns. "Yoko, don't -!"
Too late. As Touya enters the dining room, he sees Yoko flounce to the table – his table. He watches the interaction from a distance, like a cat peering in on a fishbowl. At first, Yuki is surprised to see Yoko and smiles in sociable greeting, but Yoko is resilient. She leans on the table, exposing her feminine charms, and speaks to Yuki in a low voice. As she begins reeling in her fishing line, she slyly glances over at the hallway, right where Touya is standing. She flirtatiously winks, and Yuki follows the girl's gaze until he sees Touya in her line-of-fire, all signs of pleasantry erased from his fine features.
Seeing Yuki's blank stare sparks another urge in Touya. Never mind peeing. I need air.
So Touya retraces his steps – again in the vulture-like eyes of restaurant guests. He passes the table, not even sparing a glance at Yuki, and welcomes the sting of cold night air. He exhales a long-bated breath and watches as it swirls away into icy condensation.
"Fuck - me," says Touya aloud, totally exasperated.
"Yeah, I wish," comes the droll, unexpected reply.
Touya whips around and sees him. Yuki.
"Yuki, listen, I –" Touya begins, but Yukito holds up a slim hand, stopping the stuttering man in his tracks.
The men face each other. Yuki doesn't look angry, Touya notes, but his serious expression makes him squirm. As they gaze, Yuki's breath catches the chill as it leaves his nostrils in steady stream of steam. Yukito had the sense to grab a scarf before rushing outside, and the man grasps it with delicate fingers. Touya stands exposed, shivering in only his trousers and white button-down.
"To-ya," Yuki calmly states. He takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself for a dive into an ocean. "You are my number one. I want you, more than anything in the world right now." Touya's heart leaps as he hears Yuki speak these words. "But," Yuki continues, sinking Touya's light feeling, "I have to know. I must know. Do you want to do this?"
There is a sudden, sharp noise from behind Yuki, ruining the sober moment. The waitress is staring at the two men, quickly rapping on the glass door of the restaurant. Behind, Touya sees Yoko and her group of girlfriends watching the unfolding drama taking place. It was only a moment's distraction, but it was enough. Yuki, in a manner so unlike him, releases a haughty, annoyed breath and turns his back on Touya.
But before his hand could reach the doorknob, Touya grabs Yuki's shoulder. "Wait, Yuki…please," whispers Touya. The frowning young man only turns his head to listen. Please don't go, Yuki, Touya mentally pleads. They remain like this for a few heartbeats, hand-on-shoulder, before Touya snaps it away in frustration. He paces away from Yuki, letting some of his frustration release in his stride, and then goes back to face the other man. Touya keeps himself at a distance from Yuki, but continues on. "You know I'm no good at these things, Yuki."
Yuki's stern face finally softens, relieving just a bit of Touya's pressure. But he still doesn't look happy, gripes Touya sourly.
Yukito looks up shyly. "You just want to go home?" he sheepishly asks.
Touya Kinomoto is not a nervous person. But he's been shaking in his pants all night, and scared of what's to come from this first date. Despite this, Yuki's helpless tone – and puppy dog face – and biting question – lights a fire in his pants and in his heart that has absolutely nothing to do with nerves.
"No, Yuki," states Touya. He pronounces each syllable with fever. He takes Yukito firmly by the shoulders and stares the ashen-haired man directly in the eyes. "No, Yuki, I don't want to go home. I want to be here with you. You are mine, Tsukishiro Yukito – my best friend and my number one. Don't forget it." He drops his hands from Yukito's shoulders as hot embarrassment creeps into his face. Yukito is blushing too, of course, and is beginning to look sorry for being so cautious. "I know I've probably looked miserable all night," admits Touya. "And the truth is…" Touya's voice trails off. He can't look at Yukito, so he turns away and stares into the cold, empty street. "Yuki, the truth is…I'm so nervous." Touya can't help but bark out a laugh as his voice loses the edge of confidence. "I've been nervous all night. I can't help it.
"I know it's just us, Yuki, but…" Touya closes his eyes and lets the chilly air ease his tension. Yukito remains still, listening from behind. "It's not just us. It's you and me this time. It's different." He can hear Yuki approach now, the sound of his shoes crunching against the iced sidewalk. "And the truth is, Yuki, I haven't been on a date since seeing Kaho." An image of the moon mistress appears before his eyes, and the taint of heartbreak pulls at his memories.
Yukito isn't speaking, but Touya's alright with that. He feels the young man place his a hand on his forearm, ready for whatever Touya says next. "I want us to work, Yuki."
Finally, Touya feels Yuki pulling him, guiding him so that they face each other once again. Yukito is smiling now – not much, Touya admits, but it's still a smile. The two grasp each other's hands, and Touya is warmed by the touch of Yuki's smooth skin. Yukito's eyes are shimmering a bit. "Yuki," Touya snaps back into his usual sass. "Are you crying?"
"Yes," admits Yukito. At a loss for words, Yukito simply states, "Let's go inside, To-ya."
Touya walks beside Yukito. As he looks up, he sees that Yoko and her gaggle of geese have been eyeing the conversation the whole time. A thought then comes to Touya's mind. He stops Yuki in his tracks, and ignores the shocked look on Yukito's face as Touya makes his decision.
He kisses Yuki. He kisses him, for the first time ever, and pulls him close, and locks his lips so that Yuki knows he's there for good.
Take that, he mentally grumbles, and happily notices the spying girls have dispersed once they break the kiss.
Touya welcomes the thrill of new love and Yukito grins back. "Are you sure you don't want to skip dinner?" Yukito surreptitiously asks.
Touya considers the thought for a moment, but then remembers something seriously important. "Yuki, you have no clue how badly I need to piss right now."
Let's go, don't wait
This night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever, forever, let's make this last forever
A/N: Best of luck to those seeking and starting new love, and joy to those who have already found it. ~ Cella