Rude awakening

Spoilers: Up to 3x12
Disclaimer: I own nothing and every line you've heard on the show? Obviously not mine.
A/N: This is me meddling with The Talk from 3x12, since I hated the scene. I'm getting weary of apathetic, sick-puppy Logan. For my take on Logan and Madison's night together, see my other VM fic.

"Did you and Madison have sex over Winter Break?"

He froze. Literally. An icy chill took over his body as he realised that this time, there was probably no more kissing and making up in store for them.

He had tried his best to forget about that particular debacle and most of all, had hoped Veronica would never, ever find out about it. He wasn't proud of that night, of the reasons that had lead him to go to bed with his best-friend's ex or the resentment that had fueled him through it. It had been wrong on so many levels, and one of his lowest points to date.

She took his uneasy silence for an answer and her fell face, just a little. She recovered quickly though, giving way to her unabashed fury.

"I asked you point-blank..."

"And I lied, point-blank. It wasn't information you had a right to know. I knew you wouldn't be able to deal with the Madison thing," he replied animatedly, all the while knowing he was digging his own grave at an alarming speed. In Veronica's book, there was no information she didn't have a right to know.

"Which thing are you talking about? The she roofied me thing? Or the thing when I stumbled to my car in the morning wondering where my virginity was and she'd written Slut on my windshield? Was that what you thought I couldn't deal with? I'm so genuinely sick right now, if I could eat anything I'd be throwing up all over your floor."

"It wasn't... like that," he tried pitifully, panic evident in his voice. He could certainly relate to her feeling of betrayal. He was familiar with that devastating, stomach-turning pain. He had made a point of getting intimately acquainted with it when he had watched those tapes of Lilly and Aaron. The memory still made him gag.

"Oh, really? How was it then?" Her voice was rising to a shriek. "Was it nice? Was it fun? Was it love?" she asked with all the sarcasm she could muster.

The though of him falling for Madison would have been amusing in any other circumstances. He wasn't even sure that, over the course of their relationship, Dick had felt anything similar for her. She was the kind of girl you lusted after or enjoyed to viciously gossip with, but certainly not the Hallmark cards, chocolate and flower type. As for Madison herself, he was pretty sure she was way too deeply in love with herself to feel that sort of emotion for anyone else.

"It was... It just happened. We were partying, I was miserable, we had been drinking... We didn't think it through," he replied, well aware that it wasn't nearly near enough of an explanation.

And it wasn't exactly true, either. Sure, there had been a party and a copious amount of alcohol. But there had been many other girls that night and still, it was Madison he had fallen in to bed with. He could hardly pretend it had been an innocent choice on his part.

"So, what, did you break up with me so you could hook up with other people?"

He chuckled bitterly. She still didn't get it. "Are you kidding me? I told you why I ended things."

"Did you consider telling Dick?" she asked, trying a new angle. "Because, let me tell you, for all his being Dick, he was very interested in that piece of information."

At that, he choked. "Did you tell him just to spite me?"

"I can't believe it. On top of everything, you're accusing me of being a meddling bitch!"

"Sorry if I tend to forget you've never been one to put your nose in other people's business," he replied, acid tainting his voice.

"How exactly is my boyfriend sleeping with my former high-school nemesis not my business?"

"For one, I wasn't your boyfriend at the time. Also, my reasons for having sex with her that night..." He stopped, unsure of what to say. Of how much he was willing to give away.

"Oh, let's hear them. I'm really, really, interested in your justifications, Logan. Because there's no way that at some point when it was happening that you weren't thinking about how much I'd hate you being with her."

"You know what? Maybe I was. Maybe I was desperate to do something that would finally get to you. Because those last few months? When I was driving myself insane with worry about you, with good reasons, may I add, and you alternated between scolding and guilting me? You just kept reminding me on a daily fucking basis of how unworthy of you I was. Am. The thing is, you don't trust me, no matter how hard I try. You alienate me and I keep sprinting after you, struggling to catch your attention. Then we end up in bed together and do it all over again. At this point, I'm not sure you even like me, Veronica. You like my bedroom skills, that much you've told me. But everything else?"

"I told you I loved you!" she screamed, outraged.

"No, actually, you didn't. I told you I loved you. Which, I'm pretty sure, you already knew. I, on the other hand... Look," he continued, sounding exhausted and defeated, "I'm sick of being miserable. I'm sick of feeling so powerless and vulnerable when it comes to you. You knew who I was when we started dating. You knew of my issues and insecurities. It didn't stop you from running back to Duncan when you had the chance. It certainly didn't stop you from accusing me of murdering my girlfriend or knowingly helping Mercer. Hell, just nights ago you implied..."

She had implied a lot of things. She had opened the Mercer Pandora Box again, before interrogating him thoroughly on his recent sexual history. Always a good way to start mending a damaged relationship.And yes, he had lied through his teeth. When he had been with Madison, he was certain their relationship was over for good. Their recent making up, however welcomed, had been totally unexpected. He had admitted to fooling around with the surfer bimbo, knowing Veronica wasn't one to let go and probably wouldn't have believed his denial anyway. But the other bimbo, he knew, would have been a definite deal-breaker.

"I already told you, this is who I am. This is what I do. I can't just wipe it all off to make it easier for you."

"No you can't. That's the point, Veronica. I don't think this is ever going to work. I never meant to hurt you..."

Again, a partial lie. He certainly wasn't willing to admit it, but the unconcealed pain in her eyes, the trembling in her voice, sent a little thrill of satisfaction coursing through his veins. Maybe she had loved him a little, after all.

"Imagine if you'd tried", she whispered bitterly.

She retreated to the door and he didn't make any attempt to stop her. He remained still, glued to a spot in the middle of his expensive hotel suite, miserable as ever. It was over. For good, this time.

He waited to hear the familiar sound of the elevator doors closing down the hall to sit down and savour the raw ache of yet another heart-break.