Theme Park Time!
Summary: A bunch of random one shots. Completely AU.
A/N: The SDS still have their magic and they're still the same people from the manga and the anime, don't worry. The only changes are that they're now in the 21st Century like us and there's no Ten Commandments. In fact, there's no trouble fro them at all. They're just here to have a good time! Also, Elizabeth and Hawk won't be in this until later.
Chapter One: Theme Park
Meliodas, Merlin, King, Diane, Ban, Escanor, and Gowther walked through the large gates together. This elicited odd stares from a few of the people in the theme park already. Or maybe that could have been because King was floating in the air above their heads on a giant green pillow.
As they got further in to the theme park, they stopped by a ride. Bumper cars. They stood there looking at the map of the theme parl the Captain was holding. "They've printed it all upside down, how are people supposed to read it?" He was saying, whilst practically shoving his face into the paper in an attempt to read it. Gowther and Diane attempted to turn their heads upside down so they could read the map. The Captain looked at them and raised an eyebrow before continuing to try and make sense of the giant thing before him.
Merlin shook her head before taking it from his hands and turning it around, handing it back to him. His mouth opened into a circle upon realising he had been holding it upside down and he sheepishly looked at Merlin, thanking her.
He looked back down at the theme park map and looked at all of the little shapes on it. "Hm. There's a lot of rides here. What does everyone want to go on?" He asked, looking up at the rest of his team. There was a chorus of different replies such as "bumper cars" and "ghost train".
Seeing as more people wanted to go on bumper cars they turned to the ride behind them and walked over to the small queue, waiting for their turn.
They waited for ten more minutes before they got to the small stand paid the small fee for the ride. It only cost a dollar so the Captain paid for them all even though they had their own money.
Once they had paid, they entered the ride and chose a car each. Gowther and Merlin got into a car each, Ban and King got into one, Meliodas and Diane go in one, and Escanor was left with some random kid who was forced to get in the car with him or rejoin the queue for the next round.
It was a minute before the ride officially started. When it did... it was chaos. Ban and Meliodas drove straight for each other, hitting each other's car with such forced it was as surprise that the cars didn't fly backwards into another ride. Diane and King hid their faces as the teo best friends continued to drive at each other. King was close to fainting and he was sure he had peed himself. He looked down to be sure and almost cried at the darker patch on his blue shorts.
Merlin and Gowther drove for Escanor and the random kid. Escanor tried to swerve away in fear of hurting his 'one true love'. It was highly unlikely that she would be hurt but he swerved nonetheless, causing the doll and sorceress to drive into the back of his car and making him and the kid fly forward where they got pulled back by the seatbelt, momentarily choking them.
They recovered quickly and Escanor desperately pressed down on the acceleration in an attempt to make the ride go but for some reason it was stuck. He stuttered orders at the car for it to drive but it stayed put. He felt Merlin and Gowther's car drive into his once more and suddenly his own was driving straight for the wall. He was choked again and passed out in fear.
The young kid scoffed at the Lion Sin and unbuckled his as Escanor's seatbelts, swapping their positions so he was in the driver's seat.
Meanwhile Ban and Meliodas were having a blast. Like Escanor and the kid, they had been choked several times but that didn't faze them in the slightest. They continued driving into each other like there was no tomorrow.
The front of their cars were now somehow dented and scratched. Once more, Meliodas drove his and Diane's car into Ban and King's. The Fox Sin and Sloth Sin went flying backwards and were close to hitting the wall but came to an abrupt stop before they did.
The man in the booth stuttered out that the ride was now over and seven sins all left their cars and the ride, walking past the man in the booth who stared at them in fear.
They walked away with smiles on their faces whilst the Captain pulled out the map. Again, it was upside down and Merlin had to put it the right way up. He gave a little laugh before he looked at the map for the location of the ghost train.
He found it and put the map away, telling his team to follow him. Except... one of them was missing. He faced them all and did a head count. Yep, one of them was missing. Wait. One of them was missing! He placed his hands to the side of his face and ran around in circles, "one of us is missssinnng! Oh. My. Godddd! What are we going to do?! We're doomed!" He fell to the floor, putting an arm to his forehead dramatically, "I can feel the imminent doom creeping upon me!" He yelled out.
Two footsteps walked up to him and stood above him, blocking out the sun. He couldn't see their face because of the multiple bags of candy in their hands. He stood up and took a couple of steps back so he could see who it was. It was Merlin. He did another head count and realised there was now six people excluding him.
He put a hand to his forehead, pretending to wipe away sweat, "I thought we were doomed. Where did you go, Merlin?!" He asked her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She pointedly looked down at the masses of candy in her arms and the one in her mouth. He took his hands off her shoulders, "oh," he said before regaining his smile and pointing a hand to the sky, "off to the ghost train then, team!" He yelled enthusiastically.
When they got there, there was no one there other than a woman in a booth which meant they got to go straight on. Throwing two dollars on the side each they all sat down on the ghost train. Ban and Meliodas at the front, King and Diane behind them, Escanor and Gowther behind them, and Merlin at the back.
The woman from the booth asked Merlin if she was okay to ride at the back of the train alone to which she replied that she was fine and that her large amount of candy would occupy the seat. After that, the ride immediately started.
It started off slowly, entering a dark room. There was nothing around them but objects made to look scary and a dim light coming from a few lanterns placed around the room on barrels.
They got a bit further in before a man popped up from behind a chest, stretching his arms out and moaning in a way a zombie would. Diane screamed in terror and tried to cling to King who was too busy staring straight ahead in fear, his teeth chattering and his nose starting to bleed.
Escanor yelled and attempted to get put of the train only for Gowther to pull him back in the ride by his shirt. He himself stared ahead with no expression, seeming bored by the goings on.
Ban and Meliodas merely laughed as the man jumped out at them, laughing at each other as the jumped in shock and roughly slapping each other on the back.
Another person came from around the corner, walking towards the train with something that looked like a large spider crawling over his shoulder. There was a loud scream and suddenly the train wobbled side to side as Diane attempted to leave it.
She was more successful than Escanor was previously and she left the ride, punching the man in a costume as she ran out of the ride. There was distant screams as she left and everyone left in the train ride stared ahead of them silently for a moment before they all burst out laughing.
As the ride continued going, there were more pop ups and jump scares. King peed himself for the third time and it was starting to smell, Meliodas and Ban were on the verge of hyperventilating from laughing so hard, Escanor and effectively passed out, Merlin was sat in the back choking on a gummy worm, and Gowther was blankly stating around.
They all left the ride, smiles on their faces, bar Gowther of course, and met Diane outside. She still looked spooked after seeing the fake spider nearly ten minutes ago.
The Sins all walked away from the ride, ready for the next one.
It had been three hours since they came to the theme park and they had been on every ride except one. The waltzer. [A/N: If you don't know what that is, look it up on the internet, it will show up :) ]
They eagerly ran to the ride on the other side of the theme park, knocking over elderly and small children on their way. They made it in .02 seconds and ran towards a lanky man with greasy hair to pay for the ride.
King had changed his shorts and underwear after a quick trip back to their current residence through Oslo, Merlin had bought more sweets and looked to be on the verge of puking, Escanor was still shaking in his boots, and Diane had eventually calmed down after the ghost train ride.
They all took a seat on the ride, Escanor, Merlin, Gowther, and King sharing one seat, and Ban, Meliodas, and Diane sharing another.
After waiting for a couple of minutes, the ride eventually started. It started off slow and King made a show of thanking the Goddesses for finally going easy on him. However, he screamed like a little girl when it eventually sped up.
He felt like he was going to fly out of the ride at some point when the bar preventing them from doing so moved a little bit.
Merlin had gone pale, clearly regretting eating so many sweets before the ride, Escanor had once again passed out and his body was being thrown around like a rag doll (no offense Gowther). Speaking of Gowther, he was finally showing emotion! His eyes were as wide as saucers and he was holding onto the bar for dear life.
Diane was screaming just like King and was yelling for someone stop the ride, there were tears rolling down her face and flying back hitting people in the face. And you know what's coming now. Meliodas and Ban... they were enjoying themselves entirely too much. Even though their heads were thrown back due to the speed of the ride, they were laughing loudly.
And just when everyone thought the ride couldn't get any worse... the seats started spinning too. They weren't going quite as fast as the ride itself but they were going fast nonetheless.
Escanor went flying into King, throwing him out of the ride much to his relief and chagrin. His head was now impaled in the booth where the lanky man stood. He stared at him in horror and, much like King had earlier, peed himself.
Gowther himself was close to passing out as his glasses went flying from his face, landing in some woman's cotton candy. He reached for his face in an attempt at realising what had happened only for his hand to go flying to the side and hit Merlin in the face. Her head went flying backwards and she couldn't get it back up due to the extreme speed the ride was going.
"W-where's King?" Diane said, her teeth chattering loudly. You'd think that the people who possess great magical power and can beat people's asses with one swift punch would be able to handle a little ride. Gowther, who was carrying Escanor on his back, pointed over to the booth where his head was still lodged in the booth. "He flew off the ride," he said in his monotone voice.
Merlin swayed on the spot, looking ahead of her, attempting to control her stomach and not throw up its contents. "Merlin, are you okay?" Diane asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was thrown off when she ran over to a bush and promptly vomited into it.
Escanor was suddenly awake and holding her hair out of her face as she emptied her stomach. "There, there, my ray of sunshine. My sweet, sweet dove," he said to her, as he patiently waited for her to finish.
Diane sighed as she and Gowther walked away from the Lion and Boar Sins, heading home. They'd catch up eventually. As for King, he'd soon wake up and realised they'd left. And Ban and Meliodas... they may never leave the theme park. All hope for them may be lost.
A/N: As you can tell, I'm not much of a humour/ parody writer. But I gave it my best shot. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Thank you so much for reading, please make sure to leave a review and tell me what you think. Again, thank you so much.
Next time... Never Have I Ever.. oh no.