Rule 1: Space Marines over 500 years of age, are not allowed inside museums. The museum curators are becoming annoyed with the false alarms.

"That was the most boring history museum I have ever seen, in my five centuries of life." Muttered the veteran Blood Raven as he moved to the exit. Just as he was about to step out of the door...

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

That happened.

AN ARTIFACT IS BEING STOLEN!

"Whaaaa?"

Nearby, a lone security officer looked up from his book and towards the exit. "Not again," He sighed as he got up. He gathered up his titanic balls and headed over to the dumbfounded Space Marine. "I'm sorry Sir, but I need to search you for any stolen artifacts."

"But I haven't taken anything. Are you accusing me of thievery?"

"Firstly, I'm sorry, but this is museum policy. Secondly, how old are you exactly?"

The Blood Raven crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the small human. "A little over five centuries. Why?"

"Well, whenever an older Space Marine tries to leave, the alarm trips. This is the eighth time this week." The Titanic man stared unbelievingly with a single eyebrow raised.

"Surely you jest?"

"No, Sir, I do not. And don't call me Shirley." They were both silent for several seconds.

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

"Emperor damn it." The guard massaged his temple while waving the newly confused Space Wolf over.

"Is there an issue?" The new arrival asked, and the officer sighed again.

"May I ask you how old you are, Space Marine?"

"Why, over six centuries of glorious battle against the xenos hordes." The man with balls the size of Terra looked back to the Blood Raven, his eyes portraying his message clearer than any words could.

"Sirs, I'm going to have to search the both of you for any stolen artifacts." The space Wolf made to respond, when the Blood Raven just put a colossal hand on his shoulder.

"Wolf, we are too old. We continue setting off the alarm."

"You must be joking." The Blood Raven said nothing as he walked to the exit.

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

"Sirs, if you keep doing that, there would... be... Emperor damn it all." The guard complained as he saw an entire squad of old-looking Space Marines make way toward the exit.

AUTHORS NOTE: Firstly, we feel horrible for that poor guard. Secondly, this will be a mostly comedic story of one-shots, on what you aren't allowed to do in the 40k universe, with scenarios included.

Thirdly, in the name of the Emperor, and the Imperium, PLEASE send up ideas you want to see. We cannon be expected to come up with everything, also, if you could give a short example explaining your idea, it would be appreciated. If your idea is selected, we will include your name both in the beginning, and in the chapter scenario if you want.