For about 3 seconds.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Axel fell backward in the couch he was sitting on, grumbling as he rubbed his head, his red hair flattened slightly. He glared up at the door, where three seconds later, a woman stood, panting agrily. Her hair stood up in two messy strands, and her green eyes flashed with a dangerous glint that Axel knew too well. Larxene glared at Axel dangerously, her hands clenched against her hips.
Axel stood up, "What'd I do this time?" he asked, bored. Larkene stomped over to Axel and poked him in the chest with her manicured nails. He winced slightly, knowing this wasn't punishment for some prank or something stupid like leaving the toilet seat up. No, she would've exploded before now if it was something petty like that. This was something worse.
"What'd you do?! IT'S NOT A WHAT! IT A WHO! IT'S WHO YOU DID!!!"
Axel looked down at Larxene, "Whenever you feel like it, start making sense." He sighed.
"YOU SLEPT WITH ME YOU IDIOT!" Larxene stomped her foot, which was on top of Axel's. He winced and pulled his throbbing foot up, now hopping around the room. Larxene narrowed her eyes at her lover, tapping her foot impatiently.Axel hopped over to Larxene, "This," hop "is," hop "news," hop "to," hop "you," hop "how?" hop hop hop. He hopped over to the sofa, falling on to it as he babied his foot. Larxene rolled her eyes and walked over to Axel, glaring at him some more.
He sighed, "Just tell me why you're mad."
"Because, Mr. "I'm so sexy," IT WAS BLUE!"
Axel looked up at Larxene like she lost her mind, "What was blue?" Larsene flung her hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. She gingerly rubbed her temples as she faced the door, trying to drown out Axel's, um, Axelness. Axel looked at his lover's back, "Look. Just be blunt with me. You always are anyways. Why are you pissed off at me?" Larxene remained silent, still trying to get peace of mind. Axel stood up and slowly walked over to the Savage Nymph, wrapping his hands around her waist. "Listen, I'm not that smart. To be honest, I have no idea what's going on. Not even the smallest clue. I need you to tell me." Larxene sighed and turned around, keeping herself in the ring Axel formed around her body. She reached her own arms up and slung them over his head, leaning her head on his shoulder.
The two stood like that for a bit, their pulses syncronizing into one. Axel looked down at Larxene, and she looked at him. She looked away and whispered softly, "I'm pregnant." And, for the first time in history, a Nobody fainted.
... Axel awoke hours later, sweating in his bed. He looked around wildly, seeing Larxene sleeping next to him, looking more peaceful than she ever did awake. He sighed and layed his head on his pillow, staring at his ceiling. He gave a small smile, he had the strangest dream. He dreamed that Larxene was pregnant. He almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. Nobodies don't get pregnant. It never happened since the existence of the worlds. He sat up, prepared to wake up Larxene about his hilarious dream, but she was already awake. She propped herself on her shoulders, looking up at Axel, "Feel better?"
"Eh?" Axel looked at Larxene, who sighed as she pushed herself to a sitting position.
"I swear, you're hopeless. Even Demyx is more likely to survive in the real world than you." She looked up at Axel with those eyes that had so many moods; anger, spiteful joy, lust, even something that Axel could mistake for love. This, however, was something else. Her eyes had a softness to them, one that seemed sad and happy at the same time. "You forgot what happened today, didn't you?" Axel thought about it for a second, he couldn't remember what happened before his crazy dream. He shook his head, expecting a punch to the head for forgetting something important. It never came. Larxene touched Axel's shoulder, and said as bluntly as possible, "You're gonna be a father."
Axel laughed, "Larxene, don't be ridiculous. Nobodies don't exist. If you don't exist, you cannot bring something into existence. It's logic." He leaned over to Larxene, "You had the same dream I did."
"Axel, think. What are the chances that two nobodies would dream the same thing, when we don't dream in the first place?" Axel froze, thinking about that one. "Trust me Axel, I'm having a baby. And it's yours. Face it."
"I can't." Axel shook his head, "Do you have any idea how deep the shit we're in is? We'll suffocate in it, and no one will even be able to know we're buried."
Larxene flicked Axel's forehead, "Never say that again," she growled.
Axel ignored Larxene's comment, "If the Organization learns we're anything more than two nobodies forced into an allyship resentfully and against their will, we'll be living in Hell. This, this will make Hell seem like a topical paradise with girls in skimpy bathing suits serving fruit punch in coconuts with little umbrellas. Got it memorized?"
Larxene rolled her eyes, "Stop acting like we have no choice. If I have a baby, we all die. If I get an abortion, it'll be obvious and we'll die. So, we have to act like there's nothing wrong and hide when the baby comes. We need to do all this discreetly and without the Organization getting suspicious."
"In other words, we're doomed and should enjoy the last moments of our life." Axel sighed, throwing himself on his pillow. Larxene glared at Axel, "Larxene, you're about as subtle as a burning car crash near a propane factory, there's no way we can pull this off."
"We'll think of something," Larxene purred in Axel's ear, noticing his uncomfortable change of breathing. She grinned seductively, "Sooo, since we don't have anyhting to lose, let's practice the ultimate pregnancy protection there is.
AN: >.>
Sorry Pervies, chapter ends there. No lemons. gets attacked by rabid larxel fans