It was the result of a series of rather unfortunate events that I was running late for the train and Godric, it could only ever happen to me. I wasn't late as in there were only 10 minutes left until the train left, rather there were only seconds left until the train left. Only I would possibly miss the Hogwarts Express and turn up late to my sixth year. It was only because of pure dumb luck that I was able to scramble onto the train just before it pulled out of the station. Waving goodbye to my parents through the glass window on the door, I waited until they disappeared out of view before heading off down the train in search of my friends.
I didn't make it far before running into Remus who was busy patrolling the carriages. Coming to a stop at the sight of him, I furrowed my eyebrows at him in confusion.
"What on earth are you doing Lupin?" I questioned, looking to the boy who approached me with quick strides and took one of my bags from me.
"James has been scouring the entire train for you," Remus explained as we shared an eye roll and set off down the train. It was probably better to set off and find James before the spoiled brat decided to do something so incredibly stupid and therefore, something so incredibly James.
When we finally reached the empty carriage, I smiled gratefully at the taller Gryffindor when he placed my stuff into the overhead carriers. My eyes looked across the carriage, taking in the number of bags. The boys had all clearly stopped here, but where were they now?
"Why don't you wait here?" Remus suggested from the doorway, "I'll go and hunt them down."
"Thanks, Remus," I said with a smile. "I'm sorry you had to put up with the bloody drama queen."
"Well he is my friend," Remus said in parting as he turned to leave the carriage. "It's kind of my job."
"Tell me about it," I muttered under my breath, rummaging through my bag as I waited. Locating the latest issue of witch weekly, I settled down and prepared to wait for the appearance of my most dramatic friend.
I didn't have to wait long. When James returned, he returned with all the dramatic flair possible. He cleared his throat roughly as he stood in the doorway and because I knew it would annoy him, I bode my time before raising my eyes to his. When I finally looked at him, James pointed down at his watch with a clenched jaw.
"And just what time do you call this?" he demanded.
I rolled my eyes, muttering, "I almost missed the bloody train, Potter. Be grateful that I'm even gracing you with my presence."
James frowned, stepping into the carriage and finally letting both Peter and Remus into the carriage. The two boys settled into their seats, already used to James' nature and James himself sat down beside me. Looking back to my magazine, I flicked through it and wondered where the final member of their little gang was.
"Where's Sirius?" I vocalised, briefly casting a look at James before looking back to my magazine.
"Why do you want to know that?" James demanded, snatching my magazine away from me.
I looked at him with mild irritation, but he met my eyes head on, raising an eyebrow at my continued silence. "Can't I just want to know where one of my friends is?"
"As long as it stays at just friendship," James warned lowly and it was enough to have Remus snickering to himself. Six years into my association with the James' roommates and they were all used to my relationship with him.
"I thought the hex I sent your way last year taught you that you have no say in who I date?" I demanded, lips pursed. "Or do you need a reminder, Potter?"
My threat had no effect on James. He just crossed his arms and spoke forcefully, "Don't go getting attached to other guys." Before I could say anything to remind him that the last time he'd talked this way to me, I had owled his mother and he had trembled in fear at the repercussions, he spoke up, "If there's anyone you're going to be falling for this year, it'll be me."
His words brought a silence to the carriage, making Remus and Peter shuffle slightly in their seats. But I didn't look away from James. Instead, I searched James' face for the trace of mischief that he always had. Even though it wasn't there, I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
"Come on James, stop joking."
He frowned, "This is me being serious. Hell, I'm announcing it out in the open. Do you even want me to announce it to the entire train?"
"Stop it." Snatching my magazine from his hands, I found the page I had left it on. "You need to learn to stop joking around with me."
James huffed next to me and he would have continued to pester me about this ridiculous behaviour, but Sirius appeared like a knight in shining armour to steal his best friend's attention away from me. The sound of the door opening had us all looking to the door and the sight of the smile on his face had me suppressing a grin.
"You were just with Yusuf then?" I teased, watching as Sirius stepped into the carriage and uncharacteristically rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
The question caught the remaining three Gryffindor boys by surprise. They looked between Sirius and me in confusion, waiting for an explanation. I furrowed my eyebrows, unsure of why they were reacting this way.
"Yusuf?" James repeated, looking to me for confirmation. "That shy Hufflepuff?"
"They're dating; didn't you know?"
"They're what?" Peter exclaimed loudly. So, they didn't know then.
As if acting on a cue, the three Gryffindors rose simultaneously to their feet and turned on their friend. Sirius backed away slightly, not sure how to answer all the questions that were being asked of him and I settled back into my seat with a smile, watching as Sirius was easily cornered.
"I guess I forgot to tell you?" Sirius said slowly, not knowing what else to say.
"You forgot!" James demanded, grabbing Sirius into a headlock. "What do you mean you forgot? How long have you been dating?"
"Since the last day of fifth year," I answered for Sirius when it became obvious that he wouldn't answer. Sirius threw a glare in my direction, annoyed that I continued to answer for him.
Little did he know that I was going to continue to do it if it meant that it made James focus a little less on me. This would just have to serve as a lesson to Sirius; never tell me something that James wasn't supposed to know.
The morning following the welcoming feast was always hard on the returning students. The first years woke up feeling excited about the finally stepping foot inside the school that they'd heard so much about from their parents. But for the returning students, we always woke up struggling to emerge on the other side of our food coma induced by the welcoming feast.
I woke up in the morning as my alarm rang and without opening my eyes, I rolled over to turn it off. Flipping onto my back, I let out a deep reluctant breath before opening my eyes and staring up at the ceiling. Last night I had drawn the curtains shut around my bed but even still the sound of my dorm mates groaning in annoyance could be heard. How was it that we were all already sick of early mornings?
"Tan?" a voice called out questioning from behind my curtains. "Are you up?"
"I'm up," I grumbled, reaching under my pillow for my wand and using it to open the drapes. Stifling a yawn, I smiled sleepily at the only girl in the entire dorm who welcomed each of the early mornings, "Morning Evans."
"Good morning," she returned with a smile, walking around the dorm to wake up the rest of our sleeping dormmates.
Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I looked at my bedside table and furrowed my eyebrows curiously at the folded piece of parchment settled on it. It had been completely clear last night. Picking the note up with curious fingers, I easily unfolded it and instantly recognised James' handwriting. Wiping the last of the sleep from my eyes, I read the note twice just to make sure that I had read it correctly.
I know difficult it is for you wake up in the morning, but if it helps just the thought of seeing you has me out of bed early.
Godric, it was too early for this. The note clearly wasn't written by James; it sounded very unlike him. Well, I thought as I forced myself to my feet to get dressed for the day, he'd certainly given me a reason to get out of the bed this morning. I needed to solve the mystery of that stupid note. Once I had finished dressing and shrugged into my robe, I pocketed the note and snagged a hair tie from my bedside table.
Calling out to my dormmates that I'd meet them at the great hall, I headed into the common room. Walking down the stairs, I gathered my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head but just as I went to tie my hair, my hair bobble was snatched out of my hands. Looking up in shock at the hair tie thief, I let my hair tumbled down past my shoulders and narrowed my eyes at James. He grinned cheekily at me, holding the bobble up above his head and far out of my reach.
My eyes narrowed dangerously in his direction and appearing to relent, James lowered the hair tie apologetically again and held it out for me. But I wasn't convinced; he'd done this countless times to me and I was not going to fall for it again. I glanced searchingly between his eyes and the hair tie resting innocently in his open palm and bit my bottom lip. James gestured for me to take it and I did. Or tried to anyway. The moment my fingers grazed his palm, James closed his fist quickly and shoved the hair tie into his back trouser pocket.
"I should have known," I muttered with a shake of my head.
"But you fall for it every time." He grinned, rocking back on his heels. "Leave it out. How was your morning?"
And his question had me suddenly remembering. Reaching into my robe pocket, I pulled the note out and shoved it into his chest. James stumbled slightly from the unexpected force of the gesture and glanced down at the note. He reached out to take it and from the way the smile on his face dimmed slightly I knew he recognised it. He licked his bottom lip in a nervous gesture, meeting my eyes and clearly waiting for me to say something.
"You didn't write this did you?" I questioned abruptly making his eyebrows rise in shock.
"Of course, I did –"
"Do you think I'm an idiot James? That's obviously your handwriting but those aren't your words. So, whose are they?"
He stayed silent for a moment as if contemplating the idea of not answering me. But he knew me and knew just how likely I was to let my question go unanswered. Eventually, he sighed, muttering under his breath, "Remus."
Tutting, I eyed him closely as I scolded, "Stop bothering Remus." Holding my hand out to him, I prompted, "Well?"
James glanced questioningly at my hand. "Well?"
"Where's the note you actually wrote then? The one you were going to originally send before you chickened out?"
Hesitantly James reached into his robe pocket and withdrew a scrunched-up piece of paper. He held it tightly in his hand for a moment and before he could decide against it, I snatched it away from him. Carefully unfolding the paper that had definitely seen better days, I read over the simple words that had me grinning instantly.
You make me smile
I cast a glance at James who seemed suddenly unable to look at me and instead was fascinated by his shoes. Stepping forward to kiss his cheek, I pulled away slowly and said gently, "Don't you ever change James Potter."
Stepping fully away from him, I expected him to make some smart remark about how someone could possibly think about changing something that was already perfect, but he didn't. Instead, he remained silent, rendered speechless by the simple action.
Frowning, I muttered, "If you're going to act so strange about it then I'm going to head to the great hall on my own?"
"No," he called out gruffly, clearing his throat. "Let's go before the boys wonder what's keeping us so long."
"Let's go then," I said, linking my arm through his and forcefully pulling him towards the portrait. Looking curiously up at James, I asked, "How do you keep getting things up into my dorm? I've asked you countless times over the years, but you never told me."
"Some things need to remain a secret love," he murmured, sounding a little odd as he stared down at our linked arms.
"Are you sure you're not ill?" He nodded but I wasn't convinced.
N.E.W.T. level potions was not all it cracked up to be. Godric, the subject had interested me enough up until the end of my fifth year but now, in my sixth year, it was so completely difficult that I wanted to give up. I felt like Slughorn had used the last few years to lull us all into a false sense of security and now that we were finally preparing to take our N.E.W.T.s he had sprung all the difficult stuff on us. Merlin, in our first lesson the man had made us brew an impossible potion. It was obvious that if I had any intention of passing this class then I'd need to put all my effort into it.
Or maybe I could always talk James into letting me get his father to explain the subject to me? He had helped us with our potions homework since our first year. Merlin knew that he was better at explaining the subject than Slughorn at times.
Speaking of the potioneer's son, he was sat on one side of me and Marlene was on my other. He was clearly bored out of his mind and saw no need to take notes as diligently as either of us were. Godric, if he was so bored than he should have swapped seats with Lily and sat with Remus and Peter like I had suggested. But no, the stubborn had insisted on sitting beside me.
Glancing up from my parchment, I cast a glance to the boy fidgeting at my side and realised that he was throwing glances at the clock every few minutes. Curiously I did the same and thankfully there was only five minutes left until the end of the lesson. Any longer and I was going to snap at James and threaten to glue his bottom to his seat in an attempt to stop his irritating squirming.
Just as I went to return to my notes, James leaned across the desk towards me and scribbled something at the top of my parchment. I froze, turning my eyes to the boy who knew not to write on my notes. Even at the sight of my sharp glare, he didn't flinch and instead met my eyes head on, gesturing for me to look back at my notes. Reluctantly turning to my parchment, I leaned in a little closer to the parchment to try and decipher James' messy chicken scrawl that he tried to pass off as writing.
You're distracting me
My eyebrows rose in surprise as I made a face, leaning in close to the silent boy and hissed under my breath, "What – how am I distracting you? I haven't spoken a word to you since the beginning of the lesson."
James cast a furtive glance towards the front of the classroom where an oblivious Slughorn continued with his lesson. Looking back to me, James leaned across the table as if to snatch my parchment back towards him, but I quickly pulled it away from him. He was not going to make the same mistake again. But my protests were useless. James tugged at the parchment knowing that I wasn't going to risk resisting and eventually ripping the paper. Relinquishing my parchment with a sigh, I waited for his response.
Because you're beautiful
I looked at him suspiciously, ignoring the colour that rose to my cheeks. James drew away from me slightly as if expecting me to lash out at him but before I could show any reaction to his little note the bell rang, and James was on his feet. Watching him for a moment longer, I turned away to gather my things and took the time to discreetly take calming breaths to try and calm my heart.
As I finished packing, James leaned in close to me and I stilled slightly, looking cautiously towards him. He said quietly, "Not that you're not beautiful always Tan, but I prefer you in your pyjamas."
I turned fully towards him with furrowed eyebrows, a little dread creeping into my voice as I asked hesitantly, "Why?"
James looked around as if in search of listening ears before he leaned in again and whispered conspiratorially, "Because you don't wear a bra to bed."
I gasped loudly, loud enough to startle Marlene who was preparing to head to her next lesson. My eyes narrowed dangerously at James who grinned mischievously at me before setting off into a run. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I chased after him and dodged through the crowd. My poor bag suffered endless abuse as I slung it around in an attempt to hit James, but he continued to dodge it with ease all whilst laughing wildly.
"You bloody pervert!" I screamed at his back as he cast a glance over his shoulder at me.
"I'm a teenage boy!" he called back in response as I sped up and drew closer to him. "What else did you expect!"
"James Fleamont Potter –"
"If it helps, they looked bloody fantastic!"
Oh, I was going to kill him. I was going to teach him that there was a certain way you were not supposed to talk to people. When I got my hands on him I was going to maim him and render him unable to –
James stumbled slightly as I launched my bag at him and it hit him straight in the back. I took the chance to close the distance between us, knowing that the entire time he'd running slowly on purpose, so I never fell too far behind. We both knew he was capable of outrunning me in his sleep.
When I drew close enough to him James wrapped his arms around me and pulled me teasingly into his chest. He grinned down at me, not affected when I slapped his chest to get him to stop.
Lowering his voice, he asked, "Care to let me see sometime?" I pinched his side viciously in response, only relenting when he winced. James nodded, adding slowly, "I agree; we should wait until after our third date."
I sighed, the fight fleeing out of me as I muttered, "I just can't win against you."
When you had been friends with James or as long as I had been, it wasn't odd to find him scraped up following on from one of his many scuffles. As children the extent of the damage was him tripping over his own feet, or even falling off of his training broom but as we grew up and James was able to use his magic, the damage got far worse. And at some point, James had stopped going to see Pomfrey unless there 'major damage' but in his definition, major damage only applied when one of his limbs was about to fall off.
It was because his stupidly flawed judgement that I was left to patch him together following one of his encounters with a group of Slytherins. I had been the one to stumble across the scene and then cast a quick shielding charm to surround James long enough for me to get to his side. Bloody idiot should have just gone to see Pomfrey but instead, here I was fixing the scratches he'd gained with simple healing spells.
"Godric," I hissed at him when I raised my eyes to his and he gave me a sheepish smile. "What was the need to go in there, wands raised and hexes flying? You could have at least thought before you showed off just how trigger-happy you are."
James began to protest, lowering his voice slightly as I narrowed my eyes at him. "How could I just stand by and watch as Snape and his bloody creepy friends picked on a group of first years? Someone had to step in!"
"James," I sighed again once I had finished healing him. Pocketing my wand, I eyed the barely healed scratch on his cheek. Godric, it could have been so much worse. It was a small blessing that only James had been the one to come across Snape and his buddies. I could only imagine what would happen if the other three boys had been with him then the situation would have probably gotten very easily out of hand. "James, there are ways to handle these things without hexing the other person."
James scoffed, watching as I reached out to take his hand. Lifting the hand slightly, I stared down at the bruises on his knuckles from where James had decided to forgo magic and to deal with the Slytherins the muggle way. I knew exactly where the bruises were from; James had decided to punch Avery in his ugly mug when I turned the corner.
"That wasn't a situation where I could talk and sort things out," he defended. "They wouldn't have listened to me."
My eyes narrowed as I warned him, "I don't want to hear another word from you."
James grinned, pushing my patience, as he mimed zipped his mouth shut. With a sigh, I dropped his hand and sat by his side, unsure of what to say. I watched him for a moment longer, wanting to ask just what it was that made him storm in, wand a blazing. But that was only a sure-fire way to get him riled up again.
He looked at me for a moment, seeming to contemplate something before he reached into his pocket to withdraw his wand. Raising it in the air, he began to write the words magically appearing in the air as if they were written in golden ink.
I love that you support me no matter what I do
I could feel the weight of his eyes watching me and swallowed a little thickly. Leaning forward hastily, I swiped at the letters to make them disappear.
"Did you honestly expect me to leave you outnumbered?" I asked quietly, clearing my throat. "5 against 1?"
He grinned suddenly, pleased that my anger was slowly abating. Satisfied with the reaction, he slid closer towards me on the bed until his thigh brushed against mine. Nudging me teasingly with his shoulder, he asked placatingly, "Teach me that spell you threw towards Carrow?"
I pursed my lips, trying to stay mad at him. But it was extremely hard to do. "I'll think about it."
"I'll hold you to that," he promised, leaning closer towards me and I swore I could feel my breath stop.
His approach was slow, his eyes flickering between mine and I fidgeted with my fingers. One of his hands came around me, pressing to the mattress as he closed the distance between us. He raised a hand towards my face, and it dropped back to his side just as quickly. Drawing away far quicker than he had approached me, James settled back down on his bum and grinned.
"There was some fluff on your face."
"Thanks," I managed weakly as the door to his dorm was suddenly pushed open. Clearing my throat, I looked away from James and glanced at the three boys who clambered into the room, talking loudly. They settled slightly at the sight of me. "Hey boys."
"We didn't see you after potions?" Remus questioned, as he approached his bed to sit on it.
"We had things to deal with," James explained with an easy smile, completely failing to mention his 5-way duel. Why was he so keen to hide what had happened?
"What happened to your cheek, mate?" Sirius asked, looking curiously at James as he walked past our seated figures.
I shared a look with James, choosing to say nothing when he reached out to pick up my hand. Pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, he grinned suggestively, "She's kinkier than I thought she'd be."
Rolling my eyes, I pulled my hand away from James and rose to my feet. Straightened out my robes, I didn't waste a beat as I said, "It's a shame really, he couldn't keep up. We'd have been able to have some real fun, but I guess I'll have to find someone else now."
The effect of my words was instantaneous. Peter was the first to begin laughing and James narrowed his eyes at me, looking majorly disgruntled. His arms shot out as if to bring me back to his side, but I dodged out of the way and left the room without another word to leave the boys to their discussion about the upcoming full moon.
Each night of the full moon brought with it a struggle to fall asleep. The worry I felt for each of the boys left me tossing and turning and eventually I had learned that the only way I was going to fall asleep was with the aid of a sleeping draught. And so, I had settled into bed last night and taken the dosage and promptly fallen asleep. It had certainly saved me hours of restless worrying.
When I woke early the next morning I hurried quickly, dressing and preparing to go to and visit the hospital room where no doubt, the boys were going to be resting up all whilst trying to get Pomfrey to release them early. I returned to my bedside quickly, searching under my pillow for my wand when my eyes settled onto the note resting on my bedside table. I didn't even bother to question how James had managed to sneak the note but here, let alone on the night of a full moon. Pocketing the note, I rushed with quick steps through the castle and to the hospital wing.
Once I reached the double doors, I pushed them open and headed into the room without waiting for Pomfrey to greet me. The older witch was nowhere in sight, so I scanned the room and eventually found the boys. Walking past the three slumbering Gryffindors I headed straight for the only one that was awake. James turned towards the sound of my approaching footsteps and smiled welcomingly at me.
"You still have that habit of waking up early," I murmured as I walked to his side.
He followed my movements, rolling onto his side with a grin. "At least you don't ever have to worry about sleeping in too late. I'll always be there to wake you in the morning."
"Honestly," I muttered, fighting an affectionate smile as I perched on the edge of his bed. Reaching out towards him, I brushed a hand slowly through his hair and briefly James' eyes flickered shut.
I cleared my throat, moving to withdraw my hand when he caught it, holding it against his face. James' eyes were fixed on mine as he joked quietly, "Of course waking you in the morning would be a lot easier if I slept with you. You know, just for practicality's sake."
He searched my eyes expectantly as if waiting for an answer, but I didn't have one I could give him. In fact, I didn't want to answer him because I was sure that if I opened my mouth then I'd just rebuke him for taking a joke too far. Merlin, I knew him probably better than Sirius did, and I certainly knew that sometimes James didn't know where to end a joke. Even now, he never changed.
Pulling my hand out from beneath his I leaned away from him and towards his glasses that were settled onto the counter beside him. Holding the glasses out to him, I met his eyes with a small, hesitant smile. James took his glasses without a word, sitting up in the bed and leaning against the pillows for support.
"How bad was it last night?" I asked quietly as I took the chance to look at him properly now that he was sitting up. Of course, most of him was still hidden from view from me but I could see the few scratches down the side of his face which looked as if he'd been forced into one of the trees last night.
"Same old, same old," he answered with a shrug only to wince at the pain the simple gesture caused him. I sighed; I'd come to the hospital wing for this very reason so many times that I had lost count and, yet I still didn't know what to say to him. "You're being weird – you're never like this."
"And how would you know?" I shot back petulantly, lowering my eyes to my lap where I played awkwardly with the fabric of my robe.
James' hand reached out to cover one of mine, making me raise my eyes to his. "Believe me, if anyone would know, I would." He smiled reassuringly as he assured, "You can tell me."
I hesitated for a moment before reaching into my pocket to withdraw the note I'd received this morning. It was still unopened, and I had no idea what it said but whatever it was, it had James drawing away from me as he sucked in a deep breath. Passing the note between my hands, I glanced at James from beneath my eyelashes and watched as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"It's about that then?"
Nodding, I bit my bottom lip hesitantly before murmuring, "You've never been able to tell when to stop something James and well – this joke had gone on for long enough. It's becoming far too confusing."
"Joke?" James repeated, sounding like someone had forced the air from his lungs.
But I nodded anyway, forcing myself to look up at him. Dropping the note onto his lap, I said a quiet, "Yes, a joke."
"Merlin, I'm not even surprised that you're so stubborn," James said as he let out a deep breath, tipping his head back slightly to stare up at the ceiling.
When he looked back to me, James stared at me with dull eyes and I tried not to let that visibly affect me. No matter how injured James got, no matter the extent to his injured, his eyes had always sparkled with light and now –
"Take it with you," he said abruptly, watching as I rose to my feet. He picked up the note I had carelessly discarded and held it out towards me, "I don't want it."
Grabbing the note from him, I faltered uselessly by his bedside. "I'll see you later James."
"See you," he bit out, not even looking at me as I turned to leave.
I walked out of the hospital wing with confident steps, trying not to show how much his sudden indifference hurt. Because Godric, it hurt so much more than anything he could have ever said to me. As I walked I hoped, Merlin I almost prayed, that I'd feel the weight of his stare on my back the way I always did when he was in the room. At first, it had been a bit unnerving once I became aware of just how often he did it but then, at some point, it began to make me feel safe as if I always had someone watching out for me. Sometimes it even made me feel cherished.
Making it out of the hospital wing without giving in to my urge to turn back to take one more look at James, I finally opened the note that was slowly crumpling in my closed fist. Stopping in my steps, I unfolded it carefully, my eyes looking across the simple sentence multiple times.
Congratulations, you are the lucky recipient of one James Potter's heart!
With a deep breath, I folded the letter steadily again and shoved it deep into my robes pocket before carrying on my way to the great hall. When I eventually found my way back to the dorm at the end of the day, it would join the rest of his notes at the bottom of my trunk.
When the end of the school day arrived, and I had finished my final lesson of the day, I walked the small journey back to the common room to drop my stuff off. The girls were already saving me a seat in the great hall for dinner but, as I stepped into the common room and my eye settled onto the lone figure seated in the room, I wondered whether or not I should ask one of the passing first years to tell them that I'd be late.
The portrait swung shut behind me with a small thud and I cleared my throat when the sound made James look up at me. I hovered uncertainly, tightening my hold on my bag strap when James rose to his feet. He held his arms open wide as if to assure me that he meant no harm and he smiled hesitantly at me.
Letting out a breath, I steeled myself before walking towards him. "What are you doing here?" Looking around the room in search of the other three boys, I realised that they were nowhere to be found. And if they weren't here, then –
"Love?" James called out quietly, but my mouth dropped open incredulously.
"Did Madame Pomfrey discharge you from the hospital wing?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. His silence was all the answer I needed and as I came to a still in front of him, I exclaimed, "You can't just discharge yourself, James! Are the rest of the boys still there?"
He nodded, swallowing thickly before he spoke quickly as if rushing to explain, "I came out of the hospital wing because I needed to say something to you."
"I think I already know –"
He gave me a look that silenced me instantly. Shuffling slightly on my feet, I watched as he picked up a bag that I hadn't noticed before. It was settled beside where he had previously been seated and James opened it, staring down into it for a moment. He closed it abruptly and held it out towards me to take. Curiously I picked it up and looked towards him as if hoping for some sort of indication for what was in there. But his face gave nothing away.
Opening the bag inquisitively, I peered down into it and found that it was filled with folded pieces of parchment. Godric, I had no idea how many of them were in there, but I instantly knew what they were.
Looking up at James for a moment, I watched as some indecision flickered across his features. Picking up one of the notes from the top, I read the simple three words and felt my heart skip a goddamn beat.
I love you
Folding the note up again, I asked tentatively, "Are the rest of them notes too, James?"
He nodded, allowing a small smile to flicker at the corner of his lips. "I am being serious here, I always have been. You've been the one treating my feelings like a joke the entire time. So –"
"James," I pleaded quietly, hearing the hurt beginning to creep into his tone.
But he carried on anyway, "I don't know how else to show you that I'm serious apart from marrying you. But well, I know that you're not ready for that. Maybe another year or two, huh?"
I shook my head fondly; Merlin, he was making a joke even now. The gesture had some tension easing out of James and his small smile grew even wider, but it was still a shadow of his usual one.
"Now you know how I feel; I've laid it all out in the open." He shrugged slightly, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets. "The quaffle's in your hands now, Tan. You're the only unknown in all of this. I could decide what to do for you and when to do it, but I could never know how you'd react; whether you'd be receptive to it or whether you'd force yourself to pull away."
Once he reached the end of his little practised speech, James lowered his eyes to the ground. I took a step towards him, but James gave no outward reaction, not even when I reached out to take one of his hands between both of mine.
"I need to date you to see if you're worth the hassle or not," I began quietly, watching his reaction.
He took a while to process my words but when he did, his head snapped towards me and he was grinning. James turned towards me, his other arm coming around me as if to hold me. I pressed a hand to his chest before he could, and he frowned, suddenly looking very confused.
"Before any of that," I started, tilting my head back to peer into his eyes, "you need to get back to the hospital wing before Pomfrey realises you've gone."
He pouted, "Can we stop by the kitchen first? I'm hungry and you haven't eaten either."
"You're not going to go back to the hospital wing until we stop by the kitchens, are you?" He grinned, unashamed and took me in his arms anyway.
Pulling me into his chest, he peered down at me with gentle sparkling eyes. "Nope."
"Fine," I muttered, pulling away from him before he could make the descent he so clearly wanted to. "Let's get to the kitchens and then you're going back to the hospital wing, straight away." He moped as he came to my side, walking beside me as I approached the portrait. I fought a smile as I asked, "Did you really expect me to make it so easy for you to kiss me?"
"I'll just have to keep trying then," he said perking up instantly and I rolled my eyes as we stepped into the corridor. He reached out to take my hand in his and started to speak with a cheeky grin, "This can be our first date." I rolled my eyes, but then James added, "There's only two more left to go."
"Two more?" I repeated, looking at him questioningly when he dropped my hand, jogging away from me.
He jogged backwards, calling out teasingly, "Until our third date!"
Understanding dawned on me and my mouth dropped open. He laughed, speeding up the moment he realised I was going to chase after him. James didn't run at his full speed, he never did and let me easily catch up to him. The moment I reached his side, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side, pressing an affectionate kiss to my forehead.
"You can count this as our first date," I relented.
"Nah, I've already got something planned," he disagreed. "I can't tell you what of course, but I can promise it'll be special."
