TCA-I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho and I am not making any money in writing this. It's a oneshot by the way

I will cast a spell on you to make you love in languish as I had to do.

And if it seems a biter pain,

Know that my tears once fell like rain,

Just as yours do now.

Youko Kurama sighed and ran a hand through his silver hair. It had been years…decades even, since he had come to this place. He normal stayed clear of this area, the place that his best friend had died. It brought up to many memories, and they were all so painful. Well, it wasn't really the memories themselves that were painful; it was the fact that he and Kuronue would never be able to create any more memories like them. Kuronue was dead.

Youko Kurama's best friend was dead. And he had been dead for a very long time.

Kurama's fingers clutched tightly at the pendant around his neck, feeling the cold stone and the even colder metal against his skin. The pendant was always cold; it had been that way since Kuronue had died. At first it had had some residual of warmth but that had faded just as quickly as the warmth in Kuronue's body had.

Kuronue had gone after the pendant and died, and then Kurama had gone after Kuronue's body and the pendant after the whole mess was over. He had lived, recovered the pendant, killed everyone in the castle, and then buried his best friend.

It didn't matter to him. How could it matter? It did not bring Kuronue back to life. There was nothing there, just a hole in Kurama's heart where his best friend used to be. There would be no more drunken cappers, no more grand heists, and no more sitting outside and looking thoughtfully at the stars while Kuronue laughed on and on and on.

He felt that it was his fault…the fault of his stupid, stupid, stupid pride. If he hadn't decided that he had to be an emotionless jackass then it never would have happened. Kuronue was not stupid; he would have not gone back for the little trinket if he had what the trinket represented to him. If Kurama had just admitted the truth, that he loved the bastard, then they would be reclining in one another's arms.

Life hadn't worked out that way. Oh no, it had to be as complex as the two demons. The Youko casually sat down beside his friend's tombstone and ran a finger gently across the surface. Kuronue: Best friend, legendary bandit, and undeclared beloved of Youko Kurama. You are forever loved, you shall be forever missed.

He hadn't snapped out of the bout of depression since Kuronue died. He had placed his friend's pendant around his neck, carried it with him everywhere he went. Sometimes when he went on raids it felt as though Kuronue was beside him, making his snide little remarks about the castles décor as they escaped.

A few tears fell from the Youko's eyes as he snuggled closer to the tombstone. This was what he deserved, for rejecting Kuronue's offer when it was made. He would never experience comfort, he would never experience love, and he would NEVER sleep with another.

'Foxy…I love you, please foxy…can we be mates?' Kuronue's arms had wrapped around him waist and he had began to cuddle with Youko. 'I didn't want to tell you this, cause I thought you might hate me or something…foxy I love you. Kurama's eyes had widened considerably and he stared at his best friend in shock. Kuronue was not supposed to love him like that. Yes, they had just finished having their way with one another but that didn't mean that they were in love!

'Kuro…batty…no. I don't feel that way about you. Maybe someday,' Youko shook his head. 'But not now. I can't now. Are you ready for the raid tomorrow?' He changed the subject quickly, in the hope that Kuronue would just drop his request. It was illogical for them at this stage in the game anyway!

'I'm ready foxy.' Kuronue fingered his pendant; a present Youko had given to him before their little bedroom tryst. It wasn't going to leave his throat until Youko loved him back. He loved Youko, loved him ever since they had first met. They would be perfect together. They just meshed right in everything. Their fighting styles compliment each other. They liked the same sort of treasures. They looked gorgeous together. And in bed…Kuronue shivered slightly and pooled his body onto Kurama's chest.

Perfection. Kuronue yawned, and then relaxed into slumber. Unnoticed by Youko, a few tears fell from Kuronue's eyes.

Youko stayed up for a few more hours, watching the moonlight shine through the window and onto Kuronue's pale flesh. Flesh that had trembled under his skillful touches and caresses…Youko smiled and clutched Kuronue tighter. He wasn't ready yet.

Youko Kurama was too afraid to admit it to Kuronue but he was afraid. Mating was a permanent thing, a very big step. He would approach the topic of dating Kuronue after the raid tomorrow. Progression would be slow, and they would both appreciate it in the end. They would have the strongest bond in all of Makai and they would both know that they were loved. Until that time…these little romps had to stop. Kuronue deserved more than that. He deserved to be loved emotionally before he was loved physically.

Youko fell asleep happily, content in his decision. The next day, Kuronue died.

"I love you Kuronue. You knew that right? You had to know that! How could I not love you…you being the way you were? WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO BACK!" Youko wrapped his arms around the tombstone and continued to cry. This was why falling in love was so pointless.

You convince yourself to care and then they die, leaving you to rot alive. Youko pressed his cheek against the tombstone. Cold. It was so cold.

'I don't feel that way about you.' His words echoed back in his mind over and over.

"Kuronue I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied, I love you. Please……come back." The wind blew around the two of them, a fox entwined with a tomb. And Kurama remembered. His fault, he killed him. If he had just explained what his problem was then Kuronue would have been alive. Kuronue would have waited for him. Kuronue would have waited forever.

"I'll come back again later Kuronue. I promise, I'll wait for you. Sayanara wa mirai no hajiami. Some day we will meet again and then…I won't hold it back." The promise spoken, Youko walked away. Within two years he was dead and a pendant lay on the floor, stained in the blood of two lovers.