Hello everybody, this is a joint story, by Nikkila and myself, jr. Journalist. We reckon it's unfair that Mrs Norris gets no attention. So here we go Mrs Norris, this one's for you.
Set at the start of the third book.
Disclaimer: We don't own harry potter, we just own this particular story line... and we like Mrs Norris.
Chapter One
I was having a horrible day. My Master and best friend (we aren't lovers!), Argus (Filch) was mightily pissed off. We lived at Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. And, later on today, all the little brats would be returning, to plague us with stink pellets, and dung bombs. And I, being a cat, have a very sensitive nose. Those two red headed monsters were the worst, and they would be back today too, ahhh where did the summer go? I am already counting down the days till the end of term, for catnip's sake! Mmmm...catnip.
The holidays were the best time of the year, where there are no evil brats around, to catch us at our daisy picking best. And where the fields are green and the skies are blue. And the lake is fresh, so Argus can go wash... he smells like a dung heap himself, and then has the audacity to complain about stink pellets and the like. Well, when he does wash, I am always really quite relieved, I have to live with him for catnip's sake! Mmmm catnip. He only has time to wash in the holidays you see, so in the school term, he reeks like my Kitti litter box, when it hasn't been cleaned for a month.
Anyway, back to reality, and the new school term. My Master and I have only a few precious hours left together until we are mercilessly torn apart in the throng of a smelly crowd of first years. And alas, I only had a few days before Argus started to reek again.
"My sweet, we must be prepared for the evil little lawbreakers that will soon arrive. There is not a single good one among them, they are all evil, If only I could punish them as was done in the old days! Dumbledore is fooling himself when he thinks the new ways are effective. Stupid batty old man!" Argus was getting himself worked up, "Still, my manacles are still oiled and ready for a time when the use of them will go unnoticed."
I wished to express my opinion, but I just meowed instead. Argus really was a stupid old git sometimes... a lot of the time. We go through this at the end of every holiday for catnip's sake. Mmmm... catnip
Suddenly a gong sounded through the castle: the enemy had arrived. I mentally pulled a helmet on, raised my shield and unsheathed my sword. In reality all I did was sit there, and narrowed my eyes at the door. We were standing in the great hall, and I could hear the little beasties, laughing and shouting as they ascended the stairs, to enter The Castle. Laughing I ask you! To enter a building, for catnips sake! Mmmm catnip.
We stood there, and as they burst in, we stood straight, our heads held high, letting them know that they were in our territory now. I've marked it enough to know. So, we stood there, glaring at them intimidating, striking fear into their hearts. I scoped out potential mischief makers; rule one of any battle: know thine enemy.
At the head of the list were the two terrors, the redheaded rats, Fred and George Weasley. As most of the other students cowered away from our glares, these two walked straight up to us and said to Argus, "Hello Filchy, what fun we'll have this year!" Then they grinned and sauntered away, followed only by our deathly glares... and all their classmates of course.