So here's our story…just to warn you, everyone gets bashed…besides maybe Shippo (maybe) because he isn't in it yet. No worries he will. We couldn't help bashing Kagome a little bit more than everyone else, because it's just so easy. Please enjoy, stay away if you are mature or have a young innocent mind. After reading this story you will be corrupted for life…

Private Dining

Chapter 1: Brewing an evil Plan

Inuyasha watched indifferently as Kagome undressed before him and slowly melted into the hot spring. She kept looking back at him for his approval, throwing back her hair and making her large breasts jiggle violently.

"Inuyasha, aren't you going to join me?" Kagome asked, turning to face him. Her nipples were hard and perky in the cold night air. Inuyasha looked at her quizzically.

"No," he stated bluntly, if Shippo was the one soaking his silky fur into the enticing warmth of the water that would be a different story. Inuyasha sighed, as he imagined stroking a nude Shippo's genitals. Would they be furry? Or would they be rough and wet with desire? However, as Inuyasha got lost in his thoughts, Kagome was brewing an evil plan to separate Shippo and Inuyasha.

"As soon as I'm done hydrating my scaling skin I will go over Kikyo's shop and purchase…well…I don't know what I'm going to purchase…BUT I WILL PURCHASE SOMETHING!" Kagome snickered to herself proudly; she had used a big word! PURCHASE! She wanted to say it again and again and again until her vocal cords exploded onto Shippo's luminous eyes, blinding him forever. "YES YES YES!!!!!"

"Are you having an orgasm or something?" Inuyasha examined his fingernails in disinterest, wondering if he painted them purple Shippo would care. Kagome turned angrily at Inuyasha.

"I could be having an orgasm for all you know! When was the last time you even looked at my pussy?"

"Ummmm…I don't recall EVER looking at your… 'pussy'" Inuyasha wanted to go back to daydreaming about Shippo but Kagome and her orgasms were so intrusive on his private thoughts. The idea of Kagome having an orgasm turned him off and he couldn't masturbate properly.

"Okay Inuyasha, well I'm going to buy some………..ummm…s-sanitary…pads. Yes! That's right! I'm going to buy some sanitary pads! I'm going to PURCHASE some sanitary pads!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHEHAHAHEEEEEE HAHAHIIHA HAHAHIAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Kagome have you been taking your medication lately?" Inuyasha asked. But Kagome had already disappeared into the distance, laughing to herself like some weird psychopath that had just molested an innocent child walking home from school while licking a lollypop.

"What a pedophile," murmured Inuyasha to himself. He had always wondered if she had been dropped on her head as a child, or if her brains had been shattered and strewn across the Earth like the jewel shards. "Well, that's one jewel we are not going to collect." But just as he had his mind off Shippo for a second the little hunkmuffin appeared.

Kikyo stopped sorting her herbs and looked up to see Kagome entering her shop.

"Oh no here comes the clingy bitch." Kikyo mumbled incoherently.

"OH! Kikyo honey! You look fabuloso today!" Kagome shrieked like a banshee on drugs. "I mean, I know we have the same face, but it's a great face doncha think?!"

Kikyo had the sudden urge to wretch Kagome's eyes from her sockets. The graphically gory image gave her pleasure. Kikyo liked pleasure.

"Now Kagome, what DO you want today? And no, I'm NOT going to teach you anymore of those kinky sex tricks, because we all know that Inuyasha does not approve of you raping him in his sleep."

"I don't 'rape' him; really, it's more like…molesting an innocent child walking home from school licking a lollypop." Kagome whined. The older woman had another sudden urge, this was to cut out her vagina and tack it above her mantle. Hmmm…maybe she could make some pussy tea with it. She hadn't had that in a while…last time she had tea with someone's genitals had been at her favorite restaurant, 'Private Dining". Hahahahaha, she liked that pun.

Meanwhile a bored Kagome had begun masturbating upon one of the big rocks Kikyo used to grind her breakfast cereal. The horny teen was making squeaky banshee noises again while including some fast paced sixteenth notes.

"Kagome…what ARE you doing?" Kikyo questioned in humorous amazement.

"Why, I'm practicing my kinky sex tricks on this gigantic penis!" She replied cheerily.

"Kagome, do you realize what that is?"

"It's…a…penis?" Kagome answered hesitantly.

"No, that's my serving dish. I use it to eat breakfast." Was the annoyed reply.

Kagome pulled her little brother's Super man underwear up. "Ooooooooooh," she said in realization, "so that's why it felt so grainy." Kikyo rolled her eyes.

"So," The priestess said briskly, "why are you here?"

Kagome stepped away from the "gigantic penis" and looked at Kikyo seriously. Or as seriously as her funny looking face could look.

"Do you know what has been going on with…" Kagome glanced around as if she was talking about Voldemort, "you know who?" she whispered.

Hmm. Sounded like one of Kagome's "ingenious" schemes when she went ranting on about PURCHASING something. What a ditz.

"This is serious though!" Kagome said realizing Kiyo's expression, "Inuyasha likes Shippo!"

'Oh this was serious' thought Kikyo. She leaned into the school girl with a malicious smile playing on her lips.

"I have a plan."

You actually read the whole thing! Now you get to wait for the next dirty chapter of evilness. We are working on making the next molestation happen. Please review and give us more naughty ideas! We love all you little munchkins! Flames are VERY welcome….PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FLAME! Any kind of feedback is great…we love you for it! If this offends you say so! If you love this tell us! If this evokes a powerful feeling in your loins…keep it to yourself….or PM us!