Hi guys! Welcome to my very first fanfiction. I usually write this stuff for my friends only, but one of them convinced me to make an ff and put this up!

WARNING: This is pure and untainted crack. Not at all intended to be taken seriously. You can flame me if you wish, but I'll pay no attention XD

I wrote this on Facebook with my friend Hitomi. We had fun. It all started when we were watching FFAC again and I got curious and found out Sephy has a Twitter. So I thought, "hey, what if they all had Facebook?"

Formatting heads up: if the name is in bold then it means it's a status change, but if the name is underlined then the character is making a comment. Enjoy!

Cloud: loves him to bits but can't stop thinking about how much of an emo I am...

Tifa: is pwned constantly by a dead girl who wasn't even hot!
Sephiroth: get a fucking life bitch! Cheater........

Rude: just broke ANOTHER pair of glasses.

Reno: is still sexy. Just to let the laydees know ;P

Vincent: has been on Facebook before you were born bitches!

Kadaj: can't believe how oblivious some men are... I mean come off it, do you think i was talking about 'brother' in terms of family 'relations?!?!'

Yuffie: I GOTS MAH MATERIA BACK! Also, i threw up :S

Cloud: mmm leather pants are the greatest invention known to man... SHAKE THAT THING...

Zack: Yep. Still dead. But hey, I'm getting some in the afterlife!

Red 13: wishes he had more face time

Aerith: can't believe her boyfriend is into necrophilia....

Cloud has changed his relationship status from "single" to "it's complicated"
Sephiroth has commented on Cloud's relationship status
Sephiroth: What part of "you are my puppet" is complicated?
Aerith: WTF? I thought you said _I_ was your "it's complicated" on facebook! YOU BASTARD
Aerith: I mean, I'm DEAD. Doesn't get much more complicated than that!
Sephiroth: You know, technically, I'm dead too. So is Cloud.
Jenova: I HAD MY HEAD CUT OFF! And everyone has the guts to think THEY'RE dead....

New Update: Kadaj just super-poked Cloud

Cloud: is not gay for playing Singstar, just gay being 'part' of another guy...

Update: Loz just joined Facebook. Suggest friends he might know!

Marlene: thinks the adults should grow up!

Reno has written on Loz's Wall!
Reno: Hey Loz! Your momma's so fat, she got smaller fat people orbiting her!
Yazoo: SHE WAS A METEOR, OF COURSE SHE HAD A GRAVITATIONAL PULL
Loz: You meanies!

Cloud has updated his Information.
Hobbies: I LOVE KINGDOM HEARTS GAY!... I mean... KINGDOM HEARTS!

Tifa: has decided that men suck and is becoming a lesbian.
Yuffie: NO, hon, women don't like you either.
Reno: YUFFIE! Tifa... if you wanna be a lesbian go ahead but make sure you tell me alllllllllll about it! Thats what friends do, right? *heart*

Vincent has updated his Information
Hobbies: Brooding. More brooding. Also, crochet :D

Marlene: asked her dad about the birds and the bee's and all she got was a weird description of 50 cents' videos...

Denzel: just drank this funny black stuff some guy in leather gave him and now he doesn't feel so good...
Marlene: well thats what you get for not listening to me!

Marlene: thinks it pretty obvious to stay away from men in tight black leather!
Denzel: But they promised to make all the pain go away! Also, there was candy!
Marlene: BLACK LEATHER DENZEL!! LEATHER!? Who even wears that any more any way?! So... old school!
Denzel: I thought they were special doctors! Maybe with magic potions like Cloud has! Ohhhh i just threw up. I think I'm gonna pass out now. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay
Marlene: EWWWWWWWW! I'm gonna go and get Tifa!
Kadaj: No need to fear, child, Denzel is in safe hands... I am not at all planning to harvest his organs for Mother's Reunion.

Denzel: has woken up in a place he wasn't when he passed out. He may possibly be missing a kidney.

Cloud has posted a Note! "MY PAIN"
Sephiroth has commented on Cloud's Note
Sephiroth: Dear Lord, if you ever write ANYTHING like that again I will cut your hands off.

Bahamut: Rawr ror rir rwar wroah
Red 13: I hear ya, man.

Jenova: finally has another son who has got off his ass to do something about her whole... disembodied situation.
Kadaj has commented on Jenova's status
Kadaj: MOOOTHEEER! My search is complete! Now you can tell me what to do!
Jenova: Then what would be the point to that? You should find your own way in life for once! I can't tell you what to do all the time you know, you little remnent! I don't have a HEAD! I'm not even sure how I'm writing this!

Loz: is NOT crying! DAMMIT!
Sephiroth has commented on Loz's status.
Sephiroth: GROW UP BITCH!

Cloud has updated his status.
Cloud: is going to bed now. NIGHT!
Sephiroth has commented on Cloud's status.
Sephiroth: Without me?!? You little..... ugh.
Cloud: Dude, YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: ... FINE. But you shall be punished for telling me such things over the INTERNET rather than in person. No sexy times for you tonight!
Cloud: NOOO! *hides in emo corner and writes poetry*
Sephiroth: GOOD LORD. Alright, alright, come over here. And put that pen down. I can think of other uses for those hands...

Haha! So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Think I should go die in a fire? Let me know! If I feel like it, I might put up some of my other crack stuff, or even write more of this :D