A/N: A short piece inspired by Bleach chapter 356. Minor spoilers.
Self-reflection
Grimmjow had some time to himself. A lot of time, as a matter of fact. As he laid there, defeated, in his own pool of blood, not feeling so great but also too stubborn to die, he thought it was as good a time as any to do a little introspection.
Up until that final battle with Ichigo, Grimmjow's life had felt like a lie. Every waking moment was spent trying to be someone he was not- Aizen's little puppet. He really hated that.
By nature, Grimmjow was a free spirit. He couldn't stand being under someone's command, let alone a shinigami's. He didn't understand how the man managed to gather so many followers. Of course, being near the presence of Aizen Sousuke, one could feel such intense powers radiating off him, if not death. Perhaps that was why people were drawn to Aizen, Grimmjow thought.
Death was an unavoidable thing. It was a natural occurrence treated with much fear, awe, and definitely much fuss. The fact that Aizen got the idea to create the Espadas, the ten reasons why humans die, was enough to prove this.
Grimmjow's very being is destruction itself. But now he's starting to have doubts. Was this who he really wanted to be? It was Aizen who made him this way- a weapon of mass destruction. And while Grimmjow indeed enjoyed the immense power it brought him, he realized now that it had all been for nothing. Look at what had become of his fellow Espadas.
He didn't want to be like that pathetic bloke, Stark: lonely and all by himself, pushing away anyone who came near. He didn't want madness to consume him like it had Syazel, nor rage to control his existence. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't like Yammy.
Out of all the Espadas, Grimmjow was one of the few who survived. He, ranking only at 6th , and not even the most faithful of Aizen's army. So in the end, he had to wonder, how much does sheer power really matter? How much stronger is it than those foolish human sentiments he still couldn't understand? The look in that Kurosaki boy's eyes and the expression on that woman's face were enough to lead him to a dreaded conclusion: that his life was worth nothing compared to them. Ironically enough, Grimmjow found himself hoping that Ichigo would make it out of this place with that woman, alive.
Maybe their humanity was starting to rub off on him.
A/N: Sorry, I know this piece is crap. I read the latest chapter of Bleach that came out yesterday and just HAD to write something. - -"