Automatic Flushing Toilettes
Title: Automatic Flushing Toilettes
Author: Jeanette
E-mail: JMKB5Fan@aol.com
Status: finished
Category: Humour
Spoilers: One teeny one for Maternal Instinct
Season/sequel Info: third season. Tell me if you want a sequel.
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: Talk about the name of things. Danny is not quite decent for a minute.
Summary: While SG-1 is in Las Vegas for a conference, they stop by the airport bathrooms
Disclaimer: Its mine! All mine! I am kidding. I only wish it were mine. SG-1 and all of its characters belong to the people with the money. I made none off of this. I only wish that I did!
Colonel O'Neill
"Viva, Las Vegas!" I said as our plane was landing. I turned to see the reaction of my second, Major Sam Carter. She was smiling that special smile that she only gives me. I LOVE that smile!
When we were on the ground, they let us off the plane. I noticed Daniel making a beeline for the bathrooms. That actually sounded like a very good idea.
"Okay, campers. Lets hit the facilities."
"Why would we want to cause damage to the facilities, O'Neill?"
Teal'c
We were in the bathrooms of the airport. I looked around. There were no bathtubs in these 'bathrooms.' Humans have very contradictory names. Perhaps O'Neill could help me understand.
"O'Neill?"
"Yeah, Teal'c?"
"Why do you call this place a 'bathroom' if there are no facilities for bathing? Should it not be called a 'toilet room?'"
I heard Daniel Jackson make a strange sound from his stall.
"Umm…. It's just a generic term. Usually its called a restroom."
I thought about this for a minute.
"Should it then not have mattresses to rest on?"
"Well, ummm… er. Daniel? You can take this one."
"Thanks, Jack. Well, ummm… I mean. Okay. Let's try that again. The um, toilets are where you, umm… relieve yourself of er, waste and rest your feet."
"Well spoken, Daniel."
It seemed to make sense. I was finished 'resting' so I stood up and turned around to 'flush' the toilet. There were no handles as there are in Colorado. I searched the back and found nothing. I stepped back to analyze the device.
It flushed.
This startled me and I took a sudden step back. The door was in the way. It was not a very sturdy door. It fell open and I fell to the floor.
Colonel O'Neill
I heard Teal'c searching around his stall. He must not have realized that these toilettes flushed on their own.
I stepped away from mine and watched it go KAWOOSH down the hole.
I love these things.
I heard Teal'c discover it and then he fell. I hurried to see if he was okay. Daniel came rushing out of his stall, trying to zip his jeans, right behind me.
We checked on Teal'c and made sure he was okay. He was fine.
Teal'c
After I got up I turned to wash my hands. There were no knobs or handles here either. I looked to O'Neill. He stuck his hands under the faucet and it turned on. I did the same.
The maintenance crew of Las Vegas apparently did not trust people to turn the water off.
Very wise.
When I finished I left to wait.
Colonel O'Neill
Daniel and I were trying real hard to keep from busting out laughing.
We turned to leave a minute after Teal'c left.
"Daniel. Pants."
I had a sudden feeling of déjà vu from Kheb.
Daniel Jackson
"Daniel. Pants."
I looked down. I hadn't zipped my jeans very well. They were halfway down my thighs.
I ran back into the restroom.
Major Carter
"Daniel. Pants."
I looked out and saw Daniel with his pants falling down. I ducked back into the ladies room, trying to suppress a fit of laughter. I had already heard the guys talking. This was too much to bear.
I pulled my cell phone out and started dialing.
"Janet. You're never going to believe this."
The End