'Puzzle Pieces'

Summary:: You and I could never be in the end, anyhow. You left. So, what am I to do with myself?

Warnings: A little cursing. I think that's about it, pretty much.

Pairings: None really. I guess, it's YamixKaiba. Sort of…

Disclaimer:: .Nothing.

The parts in italics are referring back to memories rather than the present tense.

You inspire me to fight. That's what you do. Originally, I was certain you knew just how much you encourage those around you.

Then, you left and I second guessed myself.

I second guessed you.

That day, a metaphor ran through my mind rampantly. I thought it was like you were dying and I was holding your limp form in my arms. However, you were neither heavy nor weightless. You just weren't there.

I wonder if that same thought ran through your mind at that time when you held my unconscious form with sturdy hands. I must say, to think of such an incident is embarrassing, to say the least.

But, you fought for me like I was some kind of precious friend you held in your hole of a heart. It swallowed me whole, you know.

You're overbearing, overwhelming, and so beautifully poised. It makes me sick and excited at the same time. You're always stern in your decisions, thoughtful, but somehow always manage a smile to one of your cheerleaders.

I still can't see how you can stand calling them 'friends'.

Besides, I'm the one who's both your strongest ally and enemy, right? Rivals up until the very end.

You could've at least given me one last duel before you left.

You could have spared me a little bit more decency than just your disappearance.

And, as those gates, to wherever you were leaving to, opened I watched as the lights surrounded your retreating form. I couldn't help but realize that I just couldn't forget your darkness. It was in your name, wasn't it, Yami?

Yes, I still remember clearly your darkness streaming outward as if it were as bright as the rays of light.

That's another thing that swallowed me whole.

Mind Crush, he said. I couldn't believe I'd lost.

So, I sat in the darkness with shattered pieces of a heart laying about the strangely quiet room. Or, rather, it was more like a void of some kind. I picked up the small parts and tried to put them back together. Every once in a while I would find a couple that fit just right.

The things I remember the most, however, were not of those putting a heart back together. But, I vividly remember a sort of waking up but I was asleep. I recall looking down upon a childish version of myself. The child that played games for the sheer enjoyment of it and not for the sake of winning over someone.

Something so much more innocent than power.

The reminders of my past with each puzzle piece was vivid and shocking.

I also remember a vague voice encouraging me to hurry and get myself right. I thought, perhaps, it was Mokuba. But, now that I've thought about it…It could have been your strong voice as well.

You're always so confident. That determined look in your eyes burned me deeply. It scorched my insides into a bubbling mass of blood and anger. Maybe, even shame.

You're the only one that could make me feel that way.

Lately, I've been hearing rumors that I don't 'look' the same or I don't 'walk' the same. Just a bunch of horse shit to me. I mean, what's the point anymore?

Did I tell you that I gave up the duel?

Never thought that would happen, did you?

But, it's like I said. What's the point if the only person that instilled enough pride and competitive goose bumps in you died?

That's where you went, right? To your resting place.

Sometimes, I'd like to go to a resting place too but, I still have so much work to do.

But, you turned your back on me.

All I could do was reach out and call out your name. I was unsure if it was a dream or a delusional reflection of how pathetic I was inside.

An illusion is all you were..?

I tried to grab a hold of you. I wouldn't have cared if you'd sprouted devilish wings out of your shoulder blades. I would have still been reaching for you.

I wanted to capture your image but, you turned away from me.

Turned away and, disappeared into tiny particles that I wondered if they could brush against my skin like raindrops.

A storm is all you brought upon me.

I still wonder, what is real?

Mokuba shoots these worried glances at me at times but, I can't help but feel numbly toward them. The poor kid could never be able to crawl inside my head.

I guess, you didn't do your job correctly, did you, Yami? I'm still a 'shell of a human being', after all.

Just so you know, I hate you. I really despise you. No, loathe you.

I loathe you for leaving me here in this hell hole of an earth. This corrupted nigh of a home.

Just so you know, I hate you for lending me a helping hand then quickly snatching it back into your suit of armor before we could transcend anything, at all.

I really despise you for looking to me at that time with such careful caring that I couldn't help but soften my edges.

I'd never seen that look on your face before. That depth of red pools bitten by bitterness, refreshed release, and the deepest of sadness.

Like a thorn on a rose.

That's what you are to me. Sharp and the most beautiful part in a way. Capable of being avoided yet easy to make you flinch and recoil in pain.

But, just as you're the thorn…I must be the drifting petals.

You stepped up to me and smiled. You fucking smiled and, I couldn't understand why.

"Kaiba," you said in a gentle tone that was so unlike your normally confident demeanor.

"What," I snapped dully.

"I'm leaving soon. You know that, right?" He brushed a few of his blond bangs from his crimson eyes and met my own blues.

"I didn't," I said. For some reason, even I was feeling sad then.

He marched passed me but with more of a delicate frame than I would have never noticed had these circumstances not arisen.

I wondered if you were afraid.

But, Yami never had fears. Anyone willing enough to waltz into their death was strong enough, or blind enough, to not have fears.

Ignorance can be a virtue but, are you playing the cards with a full deck?

That's another thing that enraptured me about you.

And, you showed me your colors that night we spent together. I never would have seen the subtleness of it all and, you weren't expecting me to be gentle.

I was surreal and it was perfect.

I took satisfaction in seeing that your submissive side was relevant and, I was subdued by the flaming chains your wrapped around my heart.

It was definitely worth the wait. Though, I'd never realized I was waiting. More so, I was anticipating seeing you like this.

That night, as we lay entwined in our cozy thorn bush bed, you whispered to me.

"You're like an ocean, Kaiba. Calm on the surface but with raging torrents of waves and layers underneath. Sometimes, it leaks through." I didn't understand but, in the same sense, I completely did.

"Mysterious, Yami. You really are like a rose."

You chuckled with me for a while there. You fooled me, made me fall, then delivered the cut that was so seamlessly deep that it devoured me whole.

Yami, that's why when you were about to leave that day, and you happened to glance back at me, I hated you more than I ever thought I could muster up. I burned with desires that you left in the sand beneath your feet. Or, maybe, I was the sand between your toes.

You had this certain look in your eyes that I just couldn't place.

All I knew was that they were sparkling with something akin to shiny blades.

You knew I didn't want to let you go. Kaiba Seto never backs down but, I guess it really wasn't my choice to make.

You were going to do what you wanted to anyhow.

No one could have stopped you.

After all, you said it was where you belonged.

But, I wanted you to belong with me.

You're so even but, so odd.

Unpredictable, shameless, and so manipulative, sometimes.

How can someone do so many amazing things? But, as you would say, 'fate' is unkind to your lifespan. You died young, didn't you, Yami?

That's okay. I think I may have left as well back then.

You once said that you spent and eternity, it seemed, wandering in darkness. You had doubts back then. But, it was your own 'destiny' that had sealed you in that puzzle.

It took me so long to accept the truth.

And, you know, I've wandered blindly in darkness too. That's how I fell into your trap.

You ensnared me into your trap.

And, I saw you smirk in that confident manner of yours. It was cocky and maybe smug. It makes me laugh sometimes. I little irritable laugh because, you and I are alike in so many ways, Yami.

Darkness.

That name always suited you.

So, why was it as you left you were engulfed by the flames of light? Did I become your shadow at that time? Normally unnoticed by so many.

I didn't believe that you deserved such a grand ending. Not after you'd broken me, twice. No, three times.

Countless times but, this one stung. It really did.

Yami, you could have at least given me the chance to duel you one last time before you left. One last time to enjoy your presence.

Do you ignore me now?

That's why I hate you.

I swear, that's the real reason…

But, did I tell you? I gave up with playing games.

I'll bet you're still playing wherever you are with that same endless passion you seem to have always had. Dueling and fighting with your wide, wise, eyes.

That's why I can't hate you and, I hate you. You never give up.

Yami, you always win.

You've always got to beat me.

That's why I hate you.

I really do. I swear.

My heart has been shattered again by you.

I'm still trying to put the pieces back together.

(A/N: No, that is not supposed to be a joke ending. (Though, I was sort of thinking of doing it that way…) He's in denial like so many times in the series. He refuses to believe that he'd willingly given himself out to the chance to love. Instead, he was left heartbroken.

Yami's a doughbag, huh?

Anyhow, I hope that you can make sense of this and, yes…I know it's short and I know that it sucks terribly. It was a spur of the moment thing, really.

I was going to put another past part around where Kaiba says that he gave up the duel. It was going to be Mokuba crying out, "But, Nii-sama! What about the children?!" Buuut, I thought that might be a little bit too much of a joke. :/ I'm bad at jokes…

Can you tell?

I realize that the text swiveled from past to present tense a lot but, I assure you, I did it on purpose. And, it bounces around (the story line - What story line..?) a bit because, I really wasn't paying too much attention and didn't know where I was going a lot of the time. AND, I'm severely sleep deprived! So, I pretty much just wrote whatever crappy thought came into my mind.

I guess, in a sense it works though because it's from the point of view of a person who's now lost in their mind. Wouldn't thoughts bouncing from one subject to the next be all they had?

Plus, thinking to much and getting lost in thought will do that to anyone, anyway.

…Why am I explaining myself? Hm… (And talking to self. Great.)

Anyhow, thanks to all of you that have reviewed my other stories! I know I should be working on the chapters and such but…Inspiration has evaded me. It just has to come to me and cure me of my writer's blocks and loss of the urge to be creative. Please, forgive me.

R&R, puhwease?

Take care~

P.S. And, if you got through this story alive…Then, you're a stronger man than I (actually a woman - with boobs and such.).

KnotofRibbon)