Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of the characters.
Measuring Up
First, it was a bad idea to agree to meet Takenouchi Sora and Yagami Taichi for lunch on his day off.
Secondly, it was a worse idea to drink three glasses of soda before appetizers were even ordered.
Izumi Koushiro unzipped his pants in front of the seedy cafe's men's restroom's only urinal and stared at the wall in front of him. The scantily clad woman gyrating on a classic red car in a glossy picture stared back. Koushiro closed his eyes out of respect and let his mind wander…
"Izzy, turns out you can pick two side dishes and a small dessert and still qualify to get the lunch special, but you'd have to surrender the unlimited salad or breadsticks offer. I don't know…"
Izzy looked incredulously at his fellow red-headed digidestined, who leaned against the wall on his left, nonchalantly decrypting the cafe's menu through its peeling discolored protective plastic.
"Wait, whah..whah..". His face resembled that of a gaping fish as he tried to cover up to save some modesty.
"Yeah, $20 does seem a lot for the number 4… I don't think it's worth it either. Hmm."
"Sora, this is the gentlemen's restroom! What are you doing here?"
"So? You were wondering before so thought I'd let you know."
This time he heard the bathroom door swing open as his tall, large-haired former team leader approached them.
"Jesus, Taichi, you two do realize that this station only accommodates for one, right?"
"Relax, Izzy", Taichi said with a smirk on his boyish face as he leaned against the wall on Izzy's other side, "I just came to find out why our friend here left in such a huff". He looked pointedly across at Sora.
"Well, I wasn't just going to sit around while you chatted up the waitresses, Taichi", she retorted acidly, still reading the menu now with an expression that was threatening to melt the plastic.
Taichi raised his eyebrows. "Do I suspect a hint of jealousy, Takenouchi?"
Izzy sighed, washed his hands and exited the bathroom, leaving his friends alone. (Of course, they would leave his laptop unsupervised.)
"Get lost, Sora. I need to take a piss."
"Charming as ever, Taichi. Go ahead, why should me being here stop you?…Unless you have performance anxiety. Not surprising, considering…"
"The fact of the matter is," he quickly interjected, "I don't want to scare a young innocent girl like you with my monstrous, large cock." He winked and began to undo his belt buckle.
Sora leaned forward and stood on her toes until she locked eyes with her best friend. "I'm willing to bet you that I have the largest dick in the room."
Taichi rolled his eyes, "Care to put money where your mouth is?"
"Absolutely. Winner pays the check."
"Yeah, right."
She reached in her bag and pulled out a black gift bag, laced with pink frills and waved it in front of her. "Compliments from Mimi for my birthday", she said slyly with a wink.
"…Is that from Babeland?" Taichi asked quietly, the smile on his face dropping.
"Oh, you bet."
Eyebrows furrowed, they stared at each other for another 17 seconds. The dim light above them flickered as another male patron of the cafe entered the room.
Breaking eye contact, Taichi redid his belt muttering, "I'm going to use the stall."
Smirking, the red-head closed her menu and made her way to the exit after giving a curt nod to the confused man.
"You know what? I think I'll stick with the number 4 after all."