Shattered Hope

A/n: this is the third part of what I am now calling the Forbidden Witches' Love Series. This is the prequel to Silence Unspoken and Violet Crystals. This one comes from an idea in a review by plums. I will continue making more of these at my leisure and will be taking suggestions for more. So if there is a specific part of Harry and Bellatrix's relationship that you would like to see, drop a review and let me know.

A/n2: Special thanks to my girlfriend for betaing this for me, even though she got highly confused and even admitted to me that she is starting to like this pairing because me. I'm so proud of myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Bellatrix Lestrange, nor do I make any claims that say I do so.

"Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear —

He saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, and everything was gone"

-HP and the Deathly Hallows pg 704

Bellatrix watched in growing horror as the sickly green jet of light, that reminded her so much of Harry's own emerald green eyes, quickly covered the distance between Voldemort's Elder Wand and the frozen still form of Harry Potter. There was nothing he could do to block it, not that he seemed to have any wish to do so in the first place.

She could tell from the moment he revealed himself to the Dark Lord, that he had no plans to avoid it. He was willing to die for the sake of the entire Wizarding World; that thought terrified her. Harry couldn't die. He just couldn't.

Bellatrix involuntarily let out a gasp as the killing curse slammed into the still form of her love, sending him to the ground awkwardly with his left arm bent at an odd angle and then his body was still.

Harry Potter was dead at the hands on Lord Voldemort.

In that moment, Bellatrix Lestrange's life abruptly shattered once again. For the first time in public, the side of her that she had kept hidden for decades suddenly came to the fore.

Personalities. That is what Harry had called it once. He had said that he believed she had what was probably the closest thing to a true case of what the muggles called Multiple Personality Disorder, a supposed mental state in which the mind was split into multiple identities. Harry had reasoned that all those years ago when she had started to delve into the dark arts and the ideals of Voldemort, she had begun to suppress anything that went against what she wanted with her life: her youth, her playfulness, her kindness, her love. All of that was pushed to the back of her mind. In place of it, her mindless insanity and pureblood agenda took over, becoming the right hand of Lord Voldemort, the insane Dark Witch.

As time went on and the suppressed side continued to be prevented from showing itself, the schism continued to grow until the point that Harry showed her that it was okay for her good side to be there and be visible; that they had spilt into almost two separate personalities. Of course this was not the case. There was only one Bellatrix, but the change in her was personality was so drastic that it could've been easily mistaken as two separate people. Not that anyone ever saw the second side of her. That was reserved for only Harry.

In that single moment of Harry's death, her good side escaped the clutches of her dark side and shattered the mask of insanity that had been there for so long. Bellatrix let out a keening wail of despair and fell to her knees next to the fallen figure of her Master, who had collapsed at the same moment that the live had left Harry's body.

Harry couldn't be dead. Not after everything they had worked for. After months of searching and destroying Voldemort's horcuxes, her giving what information she could to Harry in secret, and after the birth of their daughter Calaeno. They had given everything and set in place everything that needed to be done after her death.

For they both knew that Bella would die in the upcoming battle. Harry Potter had to emerge victorious and become the savior of the Wizarding World so that Calaeno could live in a safe world and grow up knowing the legacy of her parents and everything they did for her.

But now, that entire idea was shot. Harry was dead and it was only a matter of time before she was too. Bellatrix was very sure in the idea that Voldemort was aware of her transgressions with his sworn enemy and that once this battle was over, he would dispose of her. Calaeno would die in this world before she even had a chance to experience it.

"My Lord…my Lord," she spoke as if to a lover. Whether it was to Harry or to Voldemort she was not sure. "My Lord," she tried again. The words "what have you done?" unable to come forth as Voldemort abruptly interrupted her.

"That will do."

The harsh voice of the Dark Lord snapped her out of her thoughts, allowing the dark side to regain its control over her. She realized for the first time that he had fallen with Harry and was just now getting to his feet as those Death Eaters close to him fled a short distance away.

Bellatrix did not flee. Instead, she remained kneeling where she had fallen, unable to comprehend what had happened. Everything had come tumbling down into shambles. Suddenly, she stood up. She had to know if Harry was dead. Surely he could have pulled off some miracle and with that thought, hope rushed through her.

"My Lord, let me—" she began, as she seemed to reach barely towards Harry's body.

"I do not require assistance," The cold voice of her Master interrupted her, forcing her to withdraw her hand and shocking her into silence once again. "The boy… is he dead?"

Bellatrix was still shock still at the coldness of Voldemort's voice and was unable to form any sort of response.

There was several minutes of complete silence before he barked out, sending a pain spell at a still Narcissa Malfoy. "You, examine him. Tell me whether he is dead."

Bellatrix watched with insanity driven hope and horror as her sister approached the still body of Harry and felt for his heart. And just as she sat up, her hope was shattered once again, sunken as if it was never there to begin with.

"He is dead!"

Bellatrix let out a short scream of pain that was easily taken for one of triumph in the sudden din of the symphony of screams that followed her announcement.

Her Harry was dead. There was no hope now. No joy, no hope, no more love. It was all lost. Forever. Shattered to the sands of time.

Bellatrix's body mechanically followed the triumphant celebration of the Death Eaters as they marched towards the castle, oblivious to everything around her and the commands of Voldemort. Her eyes were locked on the still body of Harry as they forced the half giant, Hagrid, to pick up and carry his body. They never wavered, hoping beyond hope, that some form of life would pass through him. But, there was nothing. No hope.

She couldn't believe that he was gone. The only person to ever truly love her for who she was was gone. Dead. Sure, her sister loved her, but now a days Bellatrix felt it was more out of obligation than anything else. Bella knew that Narcissa was not proud of what she had become; but that meant nothing, for not even she was proud of what she had become. But, it was who she now was and nothing would be able to change that. Not even the love that Harry had showed her could fully drive away the insanity that clouded her mind; but that did not matter, because Harry loved her for who she was.

But now it was all gone. All hope was lost, Voldemort would rule once again.

Bellatrix vaguely heard the Dark Lord's following speak of victory to the gathered forces of the Light as he continued to gloat over the lifeless body of Harry Potter. Her eyes continually locked on him, still hoping. Not even his shout of "Silence!" dissuaded her. Her body movements were mechanical, with only her eyes giving away anything.

Suddenly, there was a great roar as the defenders swarmed towards them, intent to fight until the bloody end. This finally broke her stupor and momentarily broke her gaze on Harry as she turned to watch the desperate last attempt.

It was enough.

"HARRY!" The loud cry of Hagrid broke through the loud sounds of battle. "HARRY — WHERE'S HARRY?"

Through the chaos of that announcement, Bellatrix frantically looked for his body and when she could not find it, hope sprung up again inside of her, hope that wouldn't be shattered this time. Hope that everything was right and everything they had would succeed.

An insane smile that was full of love and joy crossed her features as she drew her taloned wand. This is what she lived for. The thrill of battle, knowing that she would succeed. And as she flung her first curse the hope that filled her never stopped.

A/n: quick note about the Multiple Personality thing: in psychology I learned that there is not a proven case of MPD out there; so it is possible it isn't real. So the idea here is that Bellatrix seems to suffer from it, but really doesn't. It's simply her mind is so complex that her moods are drastically different.

~R.T.