So, I never really shipped Crellie; Craig always seemed to be too self-absorbed to know what was good for him and Ellie had a lot of baggage she needed to sort out before they could even try to have a healthy relationship. However, the first time I ever watched Degrassi Takes Hollywood, I actually decided the pairing was not half bad- cute, even.

Of course, the movie kind of leaves their relationship open ended, and I just rewatched it, so I've been inspired. Those of you who have read my stuff before know I like to explore open ends and character's minds.

That being said this is a Crellie one-shot in Craig's point of view. It's set roughly five years after the movie takes place. It has fluffy undertones, I suppose. Enjoy!

I don't own Degrassi. =P

I was always kind of an idiot where Ellie Nash was concerned.

Okay, scratch that; I was always a huge idiot where Ellie Nash was concerned.

I always tried to tell myself that it was because Ellie and I were just better off friends, but I knew that I had actually always been terrified. Ellie meant so much more to me that any of my other girlfriends, and I was a notorious screw-up when it came to those sweet, innocent girls lives. I fucked people up; took feelings and romance and twisted it until it was unrecognizable.

And I couldn't let myself get in too deep with Ellie for fear that I would mess her up, too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I messed with our friendship.

But, of course, I found a way to fuck that up, too.

She was always there for me, though. I'll never know how she looked past my attitude and still enjoyed my company, but I was forever grateful that she did.

Then, of course, I had the opportunity to launch my music career, and I would have been really stupid not to take it…so I left everyone behind; I left Ellie behind. It was a high price to pay for such an uncertain future, but I could never regret the choice I had made.

That was, I never regretted it until Ellie magically appeared in Hollywood one day and turned my life upside down once again. The more time I spent with her I realized the feelings I had thought had gone away with time were really just stronger than ever. Ellie had done so much growing up, and I was in a different place…but, as per usual, something was always in the way. I had a great girl, and we were happy together. And Ellie had another family issue that had been left unresolved.

Yeah, we were both in a different place, but we weren't quite in the right place.

Our goodbye had been bittersweet at best. I was tied to Los Angeles by my career, and Ellie's family needed her back in Toronto. We both wanted our feelings to come to some kind of fruition, but we both knew that was unrealistic and impossible so we settled for one simple indulgence of a kiss.

I replayed the memory often, but it was never as satisfying as the real thing.

I sighed, shaking the thoughts out of my head. I had just gotten back to my home town and I was already a nostalgic mess. I hadn't even run into Ellie yet; I didn't even know if she was still in Toronto.

After letting out a dark chuckle over my nervousness, I approached the drastically altered building in front of me. I never recalled The Dot looking so…pink. I wondered what the reason for the redecoration was.

I sauntered through the door and glanced around the restaurant where some of my fondest memories were created. High school at Degrassi had been a wild ride, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to loving every single second of it. I had created a lot of memorable experiences in Hollywood, but none of them compared to the shenanigans that ran through Degrassi's halls twenty-four seven.

None of the faces around were familiar to me; I didn't even see Spin behind the counter, but I ordered a large cup of coffee from the plucky barista. She gave me an insincere "have a nice day," with my coffee, and then quickly moved onto the next customer.

The Dot was crowded, and I was having trouble spotting an empty table. Just an hour earlier I had finished unpacking my boxes, and officially moved into the upscale apartment…I was exhausted and I just wanted to sit down and enjoy a healthy dose of caffeine.

I was about to give up and take my coffee to go when a spark of color caught my eye. A deep red head of hair was tucked away in a lonely corner of the cozy sitting space, and I had to do a double take to be sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me.

So there was such a thing as fate…

She was tapping a pen rhythmically against her notebook, the page full of half-constructed sentences and doodles. There was an mp3 player on the table next to the notebook, and her head was bobbing up and down subtly to whatever music was playing through the ear buds she had in both ears. Ellie Nash…alive and, presumably, well.

I felt my palms get a little slick with perspiration as the nerves found their way back into my stomach and throat.

After a deep breath to center myself I approached the unsuspecting girl from behind and gently tugged the headphones out of her ears. "Hey, stranger," I greeted softly, an overwhelming sense of joy washing the nerves away when Ellie turned to smile politely at me.

Her jaw comically dropped as she took in the sight before her. "You're n-not Marco," she finally stuttered.

"Last time I checked, no; my wardrobe is far too shabby."

I chuckled as she visibly tried to rein in her shock and surprise. Finally, she flew out of the seat and wrapped her tiny arms around my waist, squeezing like she never had the intention of letting go. I reciprocated with equal force, not wanting her to let go.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me, an elated smile threatening to split her face in two.

I sat down across from her and took a generous sip of my coffee. "I got a job," I announced proudly.

"Wait, what…here, in Toronto? What about the music; what job did you get?" Her eyes were running all over my face, trying to look for any sign that I might have been tugging her chain.

"Of course here in Toronto; where else?" I shot at her playfully, poking fun at her frantic questioning. It was her natural tact for journalism shining through; she always asked the right questions. "The music was going great; the latest CD I released was the biggest hit of them all, but my producer and I were struggling with artistic differences. Long story short, I was in between record labels when heard about the job opportunity from some connections I was still in touch with from when Downtown Sasquatch was first scouted. I'm helping some old acquaintances start up their own label here in town. I've always wanted to try my hand at producing, and I will still get to work on my own music, so it seemed perfect."

"Wow…that's, wow; congratulations, Craig. I can't believe you're here; you look great."

I smiled fondly at her, letting my eyes travel over her beaming features. Her hair was longer again, and half of it was pulled back in a messy bun- a pencil holding the lose structure together. The rebellious strands that fell down to frame her face only highlighted her beautiful hazel eyes that managed to be full of an eternal sadness, but also inviting warmth at the same time. How was it possible that she looked more beautiful than ever? "You look…really great, too. So, tell me, what's new and exciting in the life of Ellie Nash? What were you just listening to that had you bobbing along?"

A light blush colored her cheeks and she let out a shy cough. "Your new CD, actually. I, um, play your music whenever I miss you. It usually makes me feel like you're close by again. Please don't think I'm pathetic."

"I could never," I assured her honestly, a strange sense of pride filling my chest at the thought of Ellie thinking about me…I wonder how often she wore my albums out. "I've been following your writing for the same reasons, actually. The blog you run about living in a writer's mind, and how the world is different when you're looking for everything and everyone's tale instead of looking at the big picture is fascinating."

"Oh, you follow that, do you?" her tone was teasing, but she looked as pleased as I felt when she admitted to following my music. "Then you must not need much of an update on my life. You should already have a pretty good idea."

"Well sure, but there is a distinct difference when you hear it from the source, and when you get it second-hand from technology. I just want to listen to you talk, actually. It's been a while."

"Okay, fine; the only reason I'm indulging you is because it has been a while. I'm co-editor of a small, independent Toronto paper, but I love my job. I'm practically married to it. Marco is a teacher at Degrassi now, and we share a two-bedroom apartment downtown. It's not exactly a palace, but we don't spend a whole lot of time there, anyway.

She took a deep breath, and then continued. "My mom is still sober, and dedicated to staying that way. My dad is…well nothing has ever been perfect for us Nashes, but he's coping. We're a strong family, if perpetually messed up, and I've never felt closer to either of them."

"I'm happy to hear that," I told her genuinely, placing my hand over her own. She looked down at my gesture of comfort and the light blush returned. "So…um…," I didn't really know how to ask my next question without sounding needy, or like and asshole. She nodded at me, though, urging me to continue. "Have you been seeing anyone?"

Ellie threw her had back and laughed loudly, earning a few cursory glances from the surrounding customers. "With my job; I'm lucky if I have time to sleep, let alone have time to date!"

It was unfair of me, but I was relived. I didn't want anyone else to have any kind of claim on her. I wanted to be in the right place at the right time...at the same time, finally.

"What about you?" she asked tentatively, suddenly shy again. "Any girls in your rock star life?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Yvette and I continued to see each other for a while after your visit…but it was more out of convenience, and less out of the fact that we still wanted to be with each other. After we broke things off I didn't have the will to start anything new. My heart was a little bit busy catching up with the fact that I had fallen in love with my best friend without even realizing it."

Ellie's blush was more pronounced this time, and her hand flipped over under mine so she could intertwine our fingers.

"How long are you here for?" she questioned fearfully, as if afraid that I would disappear again at any moment.

"A while, hopefully. A few years at the least…of the company takes off than much longer, but only time will tell."

Ellie seemed satisfied with that answer, "I'm so glad you're here. I can't believe it, but I'm still glad. I've missed you, Craig…"

I opened my mouth to tell her just how much I missed her, too, when I was cut off by a blatant attack.

"Craig; Craig Manning, is that you?" Marco squealed in my ear, giving me a tight hug as he slid into the booth next to me. "What are you doing here, man?"

"He got a job here," Ellie answered Marco, her eyes never leaving mine. I felt my heart-rate pick up just a bit, and I felt like a teenager again. Ellie had always been my anchor…even when I was dealing with the news that I was bi-polar. She made me feel safe. But she also made me insanely jittery at the same time.

"Oh, my God!" Marco exclaimed. "So you'll be sticking around for a while. That's great; that's really great." I didn't miss the meaningful glance Marco threw in Ellie's direction. She rolled her eyes just slightly, but a smile threatened to overtake her features.

"Well, I don't want to interrupt whatever plans you guys had before I showed up." I stood up and stretched, taking another sip of my coffee.

"Nonsense," Ellie and Marco said in unison, and I laughed at how little had changed their relationship given all they had been through together.

"Really guys, I have a meeting to get to soon. You'll see me again in the near future; I'm not going far."

"Oh, okay…well, if you have somewhere to be then go! It was so nice to see you, don't be a stranger," Ellie suddenly got very formal, and I remembered she always did that in an attempt to hide disappointment.

"Before I take off, though…," I trailed off and Ellie met my gaze once again- the blush back in her cheeks. "Are you free tomorrow night, Eleanor?"

She narrowed her eyes at my use of her full name, but a smirk played at the edge of her lips. "Tomorrow is Saturday, right? I'm, um, free after 8."

"I'll pick you up at 8:30, then," I replied confidently, and then walked away before she could respond. When I reached the door, though, I turned back to find her watching me walk off, a pleased smile lighting up her face, and I winked.

This was my chance to finally get things right. Screwing up was not an option.

XXX

I was freaking out.

I had taken enough girls on enough dates that I was pro…but for some reason the thought of taking Ellie on a date- a real, certifiable date- was terrifying enough to kick my anxiety into high gear.

It was strange enough to be back in my hometown and not knowing what to do with myself, but to have no clue where to take Ellie because I was no longer familiar with the popular hang outs was…unnerving.

What it had finally boiled down to was whether I wanted to take Ellie on a big, extravagant date, or did I want to plan something more subdued and personal.

After finally deciding on subdued, I ran out to the market for supplies to make Ellie dinner. I figured I would pick her up, bring her back to my place, and I would cook for her, and then we would watch movies by the heater, my substitution for a fireplace. It sounded cozy, simple. And after years of complications, Ellie and I could use a little bit of simple.

So, along with the stop to the market, I ran to the video store to pick out a few of Ellie's favorites. I ended up renting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Up and Zombie Land. Options and variety were good, right?

I texted Marco for the address of their apartment, and once I had that information, and it was nearing 8:30, I started off on foot. The chilly air did wonders at clearing my frantic thoughts. It also helped that my meds were starting to kick in, and they always centered me.

To my surprise, Ellie was waiting for me outside her building. She was wearing a form-fitting black dress, her hair was down in cascading waves, and she was wearing some sexy high-heeled boots that brought all the right attention to her legs. Why the fuck hadn't I been smarter in high school.

"You look…damn," I complimented her as I approached, at a loss for any adjective to sum up how gorgeous and sexy she looked.

Ellie laughed pleasantly, and the sound was so pure and innocent that I couldn't help but laugh back. Why had I been so nervous? It was Ellie after all…sweet Ellie; she understood me, accepted me even though I was out of my mind half the time.

"Thank you, Mr. Manning. Is it too much though? I can go change; I just didn't know what was on the agenda for tonight."

"I'm going to cook you dinner at my place, so if you wanted to, you could change. But I'd much prefer if you didn't," I told her honestly, my eyes raking up and down her figure once more appreciatively.

"Is that so?" Ellie raised her eyebrows teasingly, and I smiled fondly at her before slipping my fingers through hers and pulling her along. She kept pace with me easily, her boots clicking along the sidewalk. "So what are you making for dinner?"

"Pizza…from scratch; I got the dough, sauce, and fresh tomatoes and basil as toppings. You're actually going to help me make dinner. Don't worry about your pretty dress, though; I've got a few aprons." I winked at her, and she just leaned into me as we continued to walk along. Damn, I didn't ever recall feeling so pleased and so genuinely…happy.

"I didn't even know you could cook."

I laughed lightly at her skepticism and surprise. "Well, I lived alone a lot. Eating out all the time got too expensive, so I had to pick up the skill."

Ellie just nodded and then fell quiet. I removed my hand from hers, but before she could protest, I slid my arm over her shoulders and pulled her close to my side. She was so tiny and fragile and delicate. But I loved the sensation of having her tucked snugly next to me. It just felt…right.

We arrived at my apartment shortly after that, and I lead Ellie up the stairs. "Welcome to my new, humble abode," I joked, gesturing grandly to the small rooms before us.

"Whoa," Ellie smiled appreciatively. "This place makes Marco's and my apartment look like the Dumpster. You clearly have not done too badly for yourself."

"I told you, my last CD was a pretty big hit," I shrugged. "So, are you hungry?"

"Yes, please, my belly is growling!"

"We can't have that, huh?" I joked, walking over to the kitchen area to preheat the oven. Elli was still standing in the doorway smiling fondly at me. "These pizzas aren't going to make themselves, Nash. Get your ass over here."

"So demanding, Manning; I guess something really don't change." With a wink, she glided over to me and plucked the apron out of my hands. She pulled it over her head, and tied it behind her back. "Okay, I'm ready to get my hands dirty."

XXX

"It is too a cute movie," Ellie defended her cinematic choice before taking another bite of her third slice. I had to say the pizza was delicious, and I had basically devoured a whole one all by myself. Ellie was still working on her appetite, and I had her tucked in close to my side. My head rested on the top of hers, and I she smelled like cinnamon. The movie had ended an hour ago, and I was just enjoying our snuggling as the news played softly in the background.

"It's not bad," I conceded, "but I've never cried when I watched it."

"Craig Manning, you have no soul. Not crying during Up is like not crying during Titanic…or The Notebook!"

"Chick flicks," I pointed out defensively.

"That doesn't mean guys can't cry at them, too," she shot back, setting her pizza down on the coffee table. "I am officially stuffed."

"I'm happy to hear that," I whispered in her ear, pulling her closer to me.

"So," Ellie started out nervously, and I waited for her to continue. "Are you really going to be here for a while? It just seems too good to be true."

"I'm really going to be here," I promised. "You're stuck with me for years to come. This is your last chance to back out," I said playfully, but I let a hint of seriousness creep into my tone. I still didn't deserve Ellie…I wanted her to be happy, though. I would understand if this was too much for her; if she wanted to back out.

"If I was going to back out, I would have years ago," Ellie pointed out, a somber seriousness coloring the soft cadences of her voice.

"Good point. So we're really going to do this? Dates…a serious relationship; are you ready for that?"

"Craig, I have been waiting for you since high school! Of course I'm ready…are you? Are you sure you won't wake up a few weeks from now and decide that this wasn't as exciting or entertaining as you thought it would be? I mean, there must have been a reason you didn't want to be with me all those years."

"There was a reason," I started, and Ellie's face fell just slightly. "Sheer stupidity; I was scared, El. You always meant so much to me. I didn't want to be responsible for screwing that up."

"Wow…you are an idiot," Ellie joked, a smile on her lips once again.

"I know; but I've had years to smarten up. So, to answer your question, yes, I am ready. I will be fully committed to you, and no one else."

And with that, Ellie pulled me in, hesitating just as my lips were over her own. "You know I love you, right?"

"I love you, too, Ellie Nash. Sorry it took me so long to figure that out."

She smiled, and I quickly closed the distance between us, trying to prove my sincerity through my passion. Our lips danced maniacally and fervently.

It was funny…I had spent my entire life bouncing around from place to place- living with my dad, living with Joey, Hollywood, all the apartments I lived in with other people or by myself…but I had never felt like I had a concrete home; no place I could always count on to be there for me, waiting with open arms.

But now that I was back in Toronto…now that I was with Ellie…I knew the true meaning of home.

Ellie was my home, and she had been all along.

So…what did you think?