Bear with me on this one...I got high off of chocolate chip cookies Laiba "made" me.

Once upon a time there was a watermelon farm sitting in a village.

A young boy-I mean man- watched over the watermelons. He was known as the "Boy with Old Man Hair."

Why? Because it was white.

This Boy with the Old Man hair- I mean Man with the Old Man Hair-loved watermelons so much he always made sure he ate all the pieces.

When he grew up, which was actually a few years later, the boy continued to look like a boy (and still insisted he was a man) but he rose the ranks so quickly of his newly appointed job, he never had time to consume another watermelon.

One day his best friend, the Tall but Quiet Woman with a covered Bun(because she was tall, a woman, and did have her bun tied in cloth), walked up to him with a large watermelon in her hands.

"Shiro-san!" (You know, White-san), she called out.

The Boy with the Old Man Hair turned back to look at his old friend. "What do you want, temee-" He paused, his turquoise eyes widening in wonder. The Tall but Quiet Woman With a Covered Bun raised the watermelon to confirm his expectations.

"It's all for you!" She said happily, her covered bun moving in the wind. The Tall but Quiet Woman with the Covered Bun knelt down to her besties height and shoved the watermelon in his arms. "EAT IT WELL!"

The Tall but Quiet Woman with the Covered Bun ran through the woods and back to her quarters.

The Boy with the Old Man's Hair stared back at the watermelon. He wanted to eat it but...it was too unsafe. He looked up to see the Nobleman with the Hair Curlers walking towards him, looking at the horizon. The Boy with the Old Man's Hair knew the Nobleman with the Hair Curlers wouldn't mind him eating a watermelon, but he had his suspicions. He quickly fast-walked all the way to office.

The Boy with the Old Man's Hair was very nervous. He did not want anyone to see his watermelon, thinking they may steal it. When the Red Pineapple Hair Man, one of the Nobleman with the Hair Curler's men, came to his office to give some paperwork, he said, "Nice watermelon."

This made the Boy with the White Hair suspicious. How did he know about the watermelon? Did the Nobleman with the Hair curlers want it too? He took out the nearby baseball bat and whacked it on the Red Pineapple Hair Man's head. The Red Pineapple Hair Man fell to the ground like a ragdoll.

Quickly, the Boy with the Old Man's Hair fast-walked all the way to the Main Hall of his office. There, he saw the Dog Face Man sitting and watching the sky. The Dog Face Man saw the newcomer and smiled. "Konbawa, Taichou. Wanna eat something with me?" In defense, the Boy with the White Hair took one of the nearby branches and threw it several feet away. "Fetch, doggie."

The Dog Face Man had no choice but to run after the stick barking. taking his chance, the Boy with the Old Man's Hair fast-walked all the way to the gate to the other world. There, he met with the Bad Guy With the Broken Glasses. The Bad Guy with the Broken Glasses smiled when he saw the Boy With the Old Man's Hair.

"Asslamualikum," the Bad Man with the Broken Glasses said. "I am looking for the huMan with the Orange Hair. Did you see him? I think he was wearing a green and red-"

The Boy with the Old Man's Hair quickly smashed the small marble in the Bad Guy With the Broken Glasses's face, who then passed out and dreamed about an orange haired hime. The Boy with the Old Man's Hair ran away to the other world.

By now, the Boy with the Old Man's wanted to find a safe place to eat his watermelon. He had waited for this day to come for sooooo long. He came out onto a cliff top, which was secluded by Tall Black Trees. Finally, he had a safe place to eat his watermelon.

But then a Monster with a Black Mask came out of nowhere, and attacked the Boy with the Old Man's Hair. Why? Because he had the watermelon. The Boy with the Old Man's hair ripped out one of the branches of the trees and poked it through the hole of the Monster with the Black Mask. The Monster with the Black Mask laughed. He then flicked the Boy with the Old Man's Hair's nose.

Right when the Boy with Old Man;s Hair was about to kill the Monster with the Black Mask using the power of the Chappy, a power the Nobleman with the Hurl Curler's sister, the Bunny Woman, used, the huMan with the Orange Hair arrived out of nowhere. He killed the Monster with the Black Mask with the power of the Quincigami, a rare art that can only be done by huMans with Orange Hair.

"Boy, as thanks can you give me your-" the huMan with the Orange Hair began to say, but the Boy with the Old Man's Hair punched him and made him fall off the cliff.

The Boy with the Old Man's Hair laughed a crazy laugh, and bellowed into the cliff. "I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL EAT THIS WATERMELON! IT IS MI-" The Boy with the Old Man's Hair lost his balance, and fell off the cliff, into the water. He released his sword (which he had the ENTIRE time, mind you), crying, "Ice Make, Ice Dragon!"

But he fell into the water anyway. Don't worry, the Boy with the Old Man's Hair survived.

Meanwhile, on the clifftop, a lone figure watched the Boy with the Old Man's Hair tumble into the waves with his failed Ice Dragon. Sighing, the Big Bosomed Blonde picked up the watermelon, and swallowed the thing whole. She barked a short laugh, and then yelled out into the wind, "HAHAHA! I PLANNED THIS ALL FOR YOU, TAICHOU! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING ME TOO MUCH PAPERWORK!"

And so she went back home, to see a depressed Boy with the Old Man's Hair. He looked up, with pitiful eyes, expecting some kind of reaction.

A reaction he got alright. The Big Bosomed Blonde laughed in his face, and ran away. The Boy with the Old Man's Hair's eyes's narrowed.

"Was that watermelon, I smelled?"

Hitsugaya stared at the screen with the perfect poker face look.

Byakuya looked down at his manicured nails with a sigh. Yamamoto, Kyoraku, and Ukitake, applauded.

"That was the best movie I saw!" Matsumoto declared, smiling. "Right, taichou?"

A vein popped on Hitsugaya's forehead. "Matsumoto...were you the one doing the monolouge?"

Before she could answer, Kyoraku said, "Hitsugaya, want a watermelon?"

Hitsugaya opened his mouth to retort a response, when he heard a grumble from the corner of the Ichi-bantai Barracks.

Komamura looked at the screen in disdain. "I'd never play fetch. Sorry, Boy with the Old M— I mean Hitsugaya," he said.

Hitsugaya fumed with anger. His reiatsu rised dangerously high. "HOW DARE YOU—"

That was quite a good movie, I must say," came a voice from the window. Everyone yurned to look in surprise at a cleanly dressed man with his hair slicked back with gel. "But how did you know I had broken glasses?"

"AIZEN?" Everyone yelled, albeit Matsumoto, who smiled in response.

"Orihime told me. We're besties," she answered happily. Apparently, she enjoyed the fact that she ended with the watermelon.

"Toushiro-san," Aizen yelled. "My Arrancar have picked up signals to one of the most dangerous entities in the universe. It is called, the Growing Watermelon. It makes you grow. If we can get it, I'll let you eat it all, and you won't have to sleep a lot anymore, because you'll grow as much as you want."

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed even more. "No."

"I'll give out free normal watermelons~"

"No."

"I'll make sure to develop a drug to make you naturally taller. I think humans call then 'steroids.'"

"No."

"…" Evil grin. "Whatever you say, Boy with the Old Man's Hair."

"Bankai. Daiguren, Hyorinmaru."

Didn't I tell you to bear with me? Well, I think it was a pretty good parody.

But I wanna know...did you know who each person was? I kind of gave away some of it in the ending though...but if you want, I'll make a continuation! That is...if I get enough reviews. :D

Chao!

~Sabrina