Taking Risks
Santana Lopez is not a coward. She didn't give in to fear easily. But she couldn't help the way the tension coiled in her belly, causing her heart to speed up and her body to go tense. She felt the beginning of a migraine coming on and instinctively closed her eyes, trying to quell the pain. She silently counted in her head and took quiet deep breaths until the pain started to subside and her body started to relax. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room.
It was an elegant room. The fireplace sat in the corner, cold and imposing in its beautiful white marble. She doubts that it has ever been used. Her eyes flicked to the old Queen Victorian chair that was nestled in the other corner, under a column of cherry oak shelves that held numerous books. The moonlight shone through the sheer curtained French door window, giving light to some of the authors.
Voltaire, Aristotle, Descartes, Plato, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman. She could tell that they were well perserved and very expensive. The majority of the books were in its original casing. The walls were painted an understated, but warm eggshell color. Usually Santana would be pleased to be in such opulent surroundings, but she was anything but.
The soft sigh that came from her left made her tense involuntarily. She held herself perfectly still, praying that he didn't wake up. A minute or two passed before she risked a glance at him. His face, which usually held a condescending smirk, was smooth and relaxed. He looked…peaceful. Serene. His hair, which was usually gelled into that prep school boy look, was tousled and mussed. His pale skin fairly glowed in the darkened room, giving him an almost ethereal look. For some unknown reason she wanted to reach out and run her fingertips over his skin, to feel the warmth and softness.
Get it together Lopez she silently scolded herself. She knew she had to get out of there. Her mind raced, trying to figure out a way to leave with out having to face him. She shouldn't even be here. He was the enemy. He wasn't even her type. He was cocky, abrasive, condescending, manipulative, cold, and downright cruel. Just like you, a voice whispered in her head. She scowled, trying to quell the voice. Yes she admit that they share similar traits, but that didn't mean anything. Then why are you afraid? The voice whispered again. I'm not afraid, she argued back.
Yeah right, the voice said. She sighed and rolled her eyes, realizing it was useless to argue back. Especially when she knew the voice was right. She was afraid. Afraid that she finally found someone who was her equal. Someone who finally understood her. Someone who could see right through her cold and haughty exterior. Someone who could withstand her withering insults and throw them right back with equal malice and disdain.
Out of all the boys she had been with, he was the one who perplexed her the most. Secretly, she knew that he was a brand above the boys she usually dealt with. They were jocks, easily manipulated and of average intelligence. He was the exact opposite. He was very intelligent and a master of manipulation. With the others all she had to do was bat her eyelashes, show a little leg or cleavage and say a few sexy words and they were putty in her hands. With him she knew that her usual tactics wouldn't work. He would see right through her and call her bluff.
For the first time in her life she had met someone who could quite possibly have the upper hand. She couldn't have that. It made her vulnerable and weak and she didn't do those two things. She was Santana Lopez , terrorizing those who were beneath her. She was a predator, not the prey. With him she knew that she wouldn't be on top for long. He was just too good. For that reason she knew she had to leave. She would lose contact with him. She would put this night far behind her and never look back. If he ever brought it up she would deny it with every fiber of her being. As quietly as possible, she made the move to get out of the bed.
"Going somewhere?" he asked, his voice tinged with sleep and a hint of amusement. She froze, both fear and exhilaration rushing through her. She heard him shift beside her and felt his hand on her arm. She closed her eyes as an electric tingle shot through her at his touch. While her mind screamed at her to leave, her body resisted, craving his touch. He gently turned her so that he could see her face. She averted her eyes, afraid of what she might see in his. " Look at me Santana", he demanded softly. She slowly raised her eyes to his face and her heart froze.
While he was slightly smirking, his eyes were bright with tenderness and warmth. She could clearly see the hazel specks in his bright green eyes. "I asked you a question', he said, his voice still soft. Usually she would respond with a snappy retort, but her mind seems to have lost its function. His touch and smell seem to have overrode all of her senses. She felt her heart speed up as he shifted closer, his warmth enclosing her. He slowly started stroking her hair, the touch warm and intimate. She knew he was waiting on her to respond. But she couldn't. Not with him looking at her like that. As if she was a rare jewel. He was touching her so softly and gently, as if she was made of fragile glass and he was afraid she would break. No one had ever touched her like that before. She felt…cherished. It was a new feeling. She felt a rush of warmth, of joy. It overrode her fear. She knew she was taking a risk. If she stayed here with him, she was risking getting hurt, risking her heart. But for some reason she was willing.
She seemed to gather strength from an unknown source and finally spoke. "No," she said, her voice quiet but strong. "I'm staying". He stared at her a moment before he smiled, his face lighting up. Understanding dawned in his eyes. He knew instinctively that she meant she was willing to be with him, in spite of their pasts and what the future may bring. He gathered her in his arms, raining tender kisses on her face and finally her lips. She smiled and stroked her hand through his hair. "I'm glad", he said, his voice filled with affection. "So am I", she responded, her voice light and filled with joy. Their kisses soon turned passionate and as he began to make love to her again, she knew she had made the right choice.