My Valentine from Tartarus..
Hey peepz! Here it is… another fan-tabulous crossover fic concocted between myself and the ever-elusive Stay70573. But before you go badgering him for an update on his fics (cause let's face it, progress has been slow in that department) take pity… a busy life and hectic responsibilities can leave any writer drained… so let's try and be patent, 'kay?
Ok, back to business…. This two-parter contains characters from my Hades&Seph saga, plus those created for Professor VonDrake's Extraordinary Time-Contraption-Thingy. Please seek permission before using any of them, thanks… Alright, as usual this one-shot is not directly linked to any of the fics mentioned above, except maybe Trick or Treating… and before you ask, we were intending to write a Christmas themed one-shot crossover but I kind of spaced on the planning and so it never happened (yeh, that's right, it was my bad), Hmmmm… perhaps that's why he's been spacing on the planning of this one… revenge!-! O_O
Dedicated to Stay70573 and my two loyal reviewers AngelofDarkness1959 and BUBBLYbuttons2me… thanks guys, this one's for you! X
Part One:A Date with Death…
…the day before Valentine's Day…
Maleficent scowled moodily as she stormed through the drafty halls of the castle on the Forbidden Mountain. This was nothing new, especially at this time of year when her patience was at an all time low..
She hated the new flowers…
She hated the cute little baby animals gallivanting around…
She hated the lovey-dovey way people got…
She just hated spring full stop…
But most of all, she hated Valentine's Day…
It was the one day of the year that she dreaded the most. She was dreading it even more this year as, for once, she actually had a date. It wasn't so much the date itself which alarmed the Mistress of All Evil but more the fact that she had no idea what Jafar had planned for them. Maleficent hated not being in control, she rigidly controlled her household with a domineering-borderline-tyrannical dictatorship, everyone was accountable in her eyes, blood-relative or not. To hand over all control of the date to Jafar was a huge mile-stone for her, usually the Mistress of All Evil would demand that Jafar was to be at a certain location at a certain time or pick her up at precisely such a time and if he was even so much as a single second late there was hell to pay. This always caused a certain amount of friction between her and Jafar as there was always a power-struggle over who was actually leading this relationship..
On top of her own reservations about her impending date the Mistress of All Evil had recently discovered that her own daughter had a date on Valentine's Day too.
Her Savannah had a date…
The girl had barely turned thirteen and she was going on her first date. It was.. Unbelievable!-! And what made matters worse was Maleficent had no idea who the snot-nosed lecherous punk was… apparently her daughter wasn't going to tell her until it was too late to stop her from going.
A brief smirk twisted on Maleficent's ruby lips… Savannah's new-found fiery defiance reminded her of her younger self… the smirk instantly vanished as quickly as it had appeared as Maleficent remembered how annoyingly stubborn and temperamental she was in her own teenage years.
Curses!-! Maleficent inwardly seethed, her fists clenching and shaking with badly repressed fury. Who the devil had the audacity to ask her daughter out on a date? The horned fairy/witch then turned sharply on her heels and stalked off in the direction of her daughter, intending to try and wheedle the information out of her stubborn child again..
…Valentine's Day…
Thanatos had just finished brushing his fangs and reached for the bottle of minty mouthwash and took a large swig, casually rinsing his mouth out with the tingly liquid before spitting it out in the sink. He wiped his mouth on the arm of his navy sleeve before returning the bottle to it's home on the shelf. The golden-flamed godling, like everybody else under the surface knew exactly who's 'babies' mouthwash was made from and although knowledge of this fact disturbed many surface dwellers it did nothing to discourage him from using mint products. As far as Thanatos was concerned Persephone was just evening out the playing-field. Minthe tried to steal her husband so now Minthe's 'babies' get chopped and smooshed up, ready to be turned into a variety of products… the cosmos keeps on ticking.
The golden-flamed God of Death then wandered back through to his bedroom and picked up his bottle of aftershave, poured a little into his hands before slapping it onto his cheeks causing his golden flames to ripple as he took in the inviting smell of it.
'Ah, Hugo Boss, my personal favourite..' The godling sighed dreamily to himself before giving himself the once over in the mirror, casually inspecting his appearance for his big date, narrowing his eyes with pleasure at his reflection… Oh yehhh, Sav is gonna be one impressed witch..
A sharp wolf whistle caused the fiery godling to jump in shock before whipping around to see his father standing leering at him in the doorway.
'So, all ready for your big date lover-flames?' Hades sounded as his smirk widened into a twisted smirk of amusement as his son's rippled with irritation.
'Shut up Dad..' Thanatos folded his arms tightly as he glowered at his father.
'Aww, but dis is so schweet…' Hades continued in a mock-baby voice, ignoring his son's irritable flames as the older god clasped his hands together. '-my li'l Thannykins is goin' on his first daaate..'
'Are you done?' Thanatos kinked a brow at his blue-flamed parent.
'Heh, alright, settle down spazz I'm just yankin' your chain..' Hades snickered in amusement before he swept his son up into his arms and rubbed his large knuckles across Thanatos' white cranium causing his golden flames to spark under the 'noogie'.
'Urgh… geroff me!' The godling pulled himself out of his father's grip and shook the sparks free from his flames causing his father to smirk widely.
'Ok, ok..' Hades laughed affectionately raising his hands in defeat. '-I'll knock it off kiddo. I just can't believe your goin' on your first date..' The fiery god then blinked as if just realising something then adding, '-and with my ex's daughter too..' He shivered slightly. '-that's kinda creepy.'
'Uh-huh..' Thanatos' eyes narrowed in disdain at this point. '-and this is comin' from a guy who married his own niece?' There was a pause before the godling added. 'Besides, I thought you only went on one date with Maleficent?'
'Pfft..' Hades snorted with derision. '-if you could call it a date.'
'Why, what happened?' Thanatos asked curiously, wondering if his dad had any advice that might help him with his own date.
'Well lemmie put it this way brat..' Hades responded, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. '-just try not to bring out the dragon in Savannah tonight..' He then chuckled in amusement. 'Oh-hoh, you do not wanna see that!'
'Uh, ok dad, thanks for the warnin'..' Thanatos replied, dismissing his father's words. Savannah had an inner dragon? Well, this certainly would make tonight interesting. The next second a swirl of white orbs appeared out of nowhere.
'Ok, the minions are all set and the girls are with my mother..' Persephone was now rummaging through a thin-strapped black handbag with a silver skull-shaped clasp. '-you all set for your big date Than?' The white-skinned goddess smiled at her son as she whipped out her home-made perfume and spritzed herself all over.
'Ready as I'll ever be mom..' Thanatos smiled at his mother and the goddess smiled back.
'Ooh.. you look so handsome baby-flames..' Persephone cooed to her son. '-you'll have Savannah falling at your feet.'
'Heh yehh…' Hades snickered in amusement. '-and if that don't work ya can always give her the ol' kiss of death.' The blue fiery god guffawed at his son's inability to make contact with mortals without killing them.
'Oh knock it off Hades, he doesn't need you teasing him..' Persephone rolled her green eyes but smiling all the same.
'Yeh nor do I need you 'checkin' up' on us neither..' Thanatos air-quoted, pouting petulantly before jabbing a finger in his father's face. 'Ix-nay on the pying-say, comprende vous?'
'Whoa, whoa… re-lax short-flames..' Hades waved his hands in calming motion. '-as much as I would love to tail you two love-birds around all night I-' The fiery god sighed dramatically for effect before wrapping an arm around his wife's waist. '-sadly have a previous engagement which takes higher precedence.'
Persephone folded her arms and kinked a brow at her husband.
'You better be referring to me..' She sounded in a gentle yet accusing tone.
'Of course I mean you my sweet..' Hades faked a wounded tone before summoning a black envelop out of nowhere and passing it to his wife. Recognising it instantly as her Valentine's card the goddess took it off of him and ripped off the envelop with her name in red writing eagerly. The card itself contained a picture of what looked like Pain and Panic forced to wear cherub outfits. Persephone blinked at it before opening and scanning her husband's scrawl inside.
''Be mine or else.'..' The Queen of the Underworld's other brow shot up at the message… if she didn't know better she could have almost sworn that this was a threat. 'Or else what?' She sounded defiantly with a playful smirk as her husband casually scanned his own card which had a picture of two souls hand in hand walking into a bright light and the caption: Together For Eternity..
'Exactly..' The fiery god purred as his yellow eyes refocused on his wife's pretty face as he pocketed his card. Thanatos only smirked widely at his parents.
'So what do you two have planned then?' The little godling sounded curious, finally dragging his father's attention off his mother.
'Disney Castle is holdin' a t'do, so for a change of pace we thought we'd check it out instead of goin' to the little place by the Elysian Fields where we usually go.' Hades explained cheerfully but Thanatos only kinked a brow at his father then turned to his mother.
'He only wants to go so he can meddle with Mal 'n' Jaffy, right?' The fiery godling said to Persephone dryly.
'Yeh…' Persephone gave a heavy sigh. '-that was my theory too sweet-flames..' Her eyes narrowed with disdain showing she would have much preferred their 'usual' date in the restaurant where they had their first date.
'Urgh, do you two really think I'm so shallow that I'd just pick that place because that's where Jafar just happens to be taking Maleficent there?' Hades adopted an innocent look but his family weren't fooled.
'Yes!' Both Persephone and Thanatos responded sharply.
'Oy vey..' The fiery god shook his head lightly. 'Alright, fine… so that's part of the reason I wanna go there but Sephy..' Hades drawled in a low seductive tone leaning into his wife, one arm turning to smoky tendril and running softly up her sending tingles down her spine. '-my sweet alluring li'l siren, I swear by the Styx I'll make it up to you later on..' His voice purred with bated breath causing the goddess to gasp then turn away from her son to face him.
'You promise sweetie?' She sounded eagerly causing Thanatos to blink at how fast his father could persuade his mother.
'I just swore by the Styx didn't I?' Hades winked at her causing Persephone to give a girlish squeal and kiss his lips then hug him tight.
'Dad you ol' honey-dripper, ya sure know how to lay it on thick..' The fiery godling sounded impressed before a beeping went off in his pocket. He then whipped out a black pager then scanned the message. 'Whoa, gotta blaze or I'll be late pickin' up Sav..' He yelped then vanished out in a swirl of shadowy darkness.
'Mind your manners around Maleficent..' Persephone called out as he went.
'C'mon babe, we better head too..' Hades kissed her forehead, holding her securely before vanishing out in a swirl of smoke with her in tow.
Thanatos appeared in the empty Temple of Necromancy where both Eris and Alcezar Jafar were waiting for him as agreed earlier.
'Did ya bring it?' Thanatos asked instantly. Alcezar smirked widely, producing a vile of pale gold liquid out of his pocket.
'Of course, I've always got your back.' The demi-god sounded amiably and Thanatos beamed widely at him and snatched the vile keenly.
'Thanks man, I'd love to stay and chat guys but I'm almost late so..' The fiery godling shrugged carelessly before vanishing out with a disembodied, '-see ya!'
'Your welcome..' Alcezar drawled monotonously into the darkness where Thanatos had been moments before.
'Alright, let's go AJ..' Eris sounded jumping to her feet and dusting herself down.
'Go?' Alcezar blinked dimly, not following the goddess. Eris rolled her lavender eyes at her friend.
'To my brother's factory, remember?' She sounded impatiently. 'I promised mom I'd drop this off for him..' She held up a bottle of pink solution.
'What is it?' Alcezar asked, he was almost dreading a trip to Cupid's Love factory. Apart from her step-dad Hephaestus the rest of Eris' family were inanely cheery and Alcezar often fantasised about strangling their minions the cherubs, their inane cooing was enough to drive even the sanest person insane.
'I dunno..' Eris shrugged, frowning slightly at the bottle. '-probably a super-concentrated love solution to mix in to the molten arrow mix to make a super-duper love arrows.' She pulled a face at this point just to emphasis just how rotten she thought the idea was.
'Alright, fine, but can we make this quick, your family gives me the creeps..' Alcezar sighed reluctantly running his fingers through his punked-up hair.
'Uh, at least you don't have to live with them..' Eris responded lightly and the two of them vanished out in a shimmer of red and a navy puff of smoke respectively.
Thanatos arrived at the forbidden castle bang on time and knocked on the door using the heavy door knocker. After a few minutes Maleficent appeared at the door wearing her usual black horned-headdress and floaty black and purple-trim outfit.
'Yes..' Maleficent sounded sternly, making a big show of folding her arms and scowling at Thanatos. She couldn't have thought of a worse match for her daughter than the foul-mouthed disobedient fiery lout that was Hades' brat. He would probably just bolt when he saw Savannah release her 'inner dragon' just like his father did to her..
'Erm, hello Ms Maleficent..' Thanatos responded politely. '-is Savannah ready to go?' Maleficent kinked a brow at Thanatos' words. She had not expected the boy to understand what good manners were, never mind use them… he must of picked them up from Persephone because Hades certainly didn't have any manners.
'She's just finishing now..' Maleficent responded only glancing backwards down the hall to the sweeping staircase leading to her daughter's private bedroom tower. Thanatos resisted all temptation to kink a brow at Maleficent's lack of hospitality. Most people invite you in to wait but not her, she had left him standing on the door-step waiting like a door-to-door salesman.
'So..' The horned witch sounded in a cool purposeful tone. '-will I be getting my daughter back alive tonight?' Her voice suggested that had she not had a date of her own tonight she would have been watching him like a hawk. Thanatos repressed the urge to shudder… why was it villainous parents always wanted to 'check up on' their children.
'Oh, you don't need to worry about that, AJ has already got us covered..' Thanatos responded cheerfully. His smile was forced tightly around his mouth as Maleficent scrutinized him once again.
'Well at least one of you knows what he's doing..' She finally responded causing Thanatos to frown slightly at this snippy insult. Clearly Maleficent viewed him in the same light as his father, just another shallow cad, she probably thought Alcezar was a better match for her daughter. Hah, fat chance of that happening… Alcezar was nursing a secret soft spot for Eris and he was far too proud to ever admit it to anyone.
Thanatos was about to open his mouth and tell Maleficent that she could take a running jump into the Vortex of Fire, not only was he responsible for people's deaths but he could make them suffer too when Savannah appeared behind her mother and giving her mother a curious gaze, as if wondering why her mother had not invited her date inside.
'Ready to go?' Thanatos' head whipped around to Savannah who was wearing her usual lilac poncho and black leggings as she squeezed passed her mother and stood beside him on the doorstep.
'Yeh, did you get the elixir?' Savannah asked immediately and Thanatos produced the vile of pale gold liquid.
'Courtesy of Alcezar Jafar..' The witchling smiled at his words and took the vile, necking it's contents and dropping the glass tube so it smashed on the stone step.
'So where are you kids going tonight..' Maleficent sounded in a cool yet surprisingly softer voice, a slight smile twitching at her daughter as she asked this.
'I'm not telling you mother, then you'll come spy on us..' Savannah sounded lightly, she knew Maleficent would sneak out of her date and observe then from a distance if they gave any hint at what they were doing.
'I would do no such thing..' Maleficent looked outraged by this suggestion.
'Oh please mother, we both know if you weren't going out with Jafar you would be tailing us all night.' Savannah sniffed dismissively taking Thanatos by the hand.
'Heh, yehh… my dad would be doin' the same thing if he could..' Thanatos interjected with a wide smirk. Maleficent rolled her eyes at the mention of Hades, she was just glad she wouldn't be seeing him or his annoyingly perky wife tonight, they always did the same thing. Dinner for two in a small Underworld restaurant named, A little Slice of Elysium… apparently there was some sentimental meaning behind this annual trip.
'Believe me I have better things to do than chase after a pair of juvenile delinquents.' Maleficent replied stiffly, growing exasperated with her daughter's back-chat… this boy was a bad influence on her and not the kind of 'bad influence' she'd approve of either.
'Whatever mom, see ya later..' Savannah waved her off cheerfully as the two disappeared off in a swirl of smoky shadow.
'Humph, good riddance.' Maleficent sniffed before slamming her front door shut.
'Eris!-!' Even the mere sound of Cupid's voice made Alcezar want to shudder. 'How are you sweetling?' The chubby over-sized pink baby deity hugged the Goddess of Discord who grimaced but returned the gesture.
'Not bad Coop.' The red-skinned goddess quickly let go of her older brother as his turquoise-skinned wife appeared beaming at her little sister-in-law.
'Eris!' The shrill tones of Psyche made Alcezar wince… Oh Allah, what in the sands of Agrabah kind of voice is that?-! 'So good to see you honey-' Her blue eyes then turned to Alcezar and lit up in a way that Alcezar didn't like. '-ooh, and is this your boyfriend?' She asked causing the demi-god to blink in shock.
'What?' He asked dimly, stunned with disbelief before frowning. 'Boyfriend..?'
'No Psyche, he's just my friend..' Eris qualified but the goddess only smiled.
'Oh, don't be shy Eris..' Psyche beamed dismissing her words. 'Love is nothing to be ashamed of.' The red-skinned goddess frowned at these words.
'I'm not ashamed-'
'Psyche is right sis, there's nothing like your first love..' Cupid sighed, gazing at his wife who tittered girlishly.
'Oh Cupy..' She swooned and the two love-deities started kissing.
'Oh brother..' Eris sighed rolling her eyes with disgust at the smooching couple.
'Can you please just give them the solution so we can get out of here..' Alcezar hissed in her ear impatiently.
So..' Psyche grinned lazily at the teenage pair once she and her husband parted lips. '-what are you love birds doing today?'
'We're not dating..' Eris and Alcezar stated firmly together. At this point Cupid wiggled his brows at the pair suggestively.
'Do ya wanna be?' He uttered slyly, whipping out a glowing pink Love arrow.
'No!-!' Both teens yelled irritably.
'Urgh..' Cupid rolled his brown eyes lazily. '-can't pair up everybody..'
'Look Coop, I only came to give you guys this..' Eris sounded huffily before handing over the pink bottle of solution. '-mom thought you guys could use the boost..'
'Alright, the Amour solution..' Cupid sounded happily, taking the bottle before turning to his wife. 'Here schnookums, I think the cherubs could use a little of this in their nectar, there have been more Loathe arrows than usual this year..'
'Okay-dokey Cupy..' Psyche trilled before pecking his cheek and disappearing off into the factory floor with the bottle.
'Loathe arrows?' Eris kinked a brow confused at her brother.
'Yeh..' Cupid sighed shaking his head. 'The cherubs are feelin' the strain this year so naturally there's a few more than usual. Well-' The pink god suddenly perked up. '-can't chit-chat all day sis, time is money and I need to take the latest batch of Loathe arrows to the decontamination unit… see you two later.' He then waved them off before heading back into the factory once more.
Suddenly a light went off in Eris' head.
'That's it!' She declared excitedly.
'What's it?' Alcezar sounded raising his brows suspiciously, the red-skinned goddess was clearly scheming again.
'Wait here, I'll be right back.' Eris grinned widely then vanished on the spot.
After a few minutes the goddess returned holding a bright green arrow which looked bent and twisted in comparison to the perfectly straight pink Love arrows.
'Tada..' Eris brandished the green arrow proudly to Alcezar who kinked an eyebrow at it.
'And that would be..' He sounded as his wrist rolled, clearly wanting her to finish his sentence.
'Duh. Don't you know a Loathe arrow when you see one?' The goddess rolled her lavender eyes.
'A what?' Alcezar had never heard of them before.
'Hello. This arrow will make somebody hate the person their with!' Eris trilled excitedly. 'We can use it to break up Savannah and Thanatos..'
'What?' Alcezar yelled out in shock at the very suggestion. Before seizing her by the straps of her lavender mini-chiton. 'Eris are you crazy?-! Than will kill you!'
'Urh, puh-lease..' Eris snorted. '-I'm immortal..'
'There are ways around that..' Alcezar responded darkly.
'Oh whatever..' Eris sniffed dismissively before adding, '-and anyway if we do this right then they won't have any clue we were involved.'
Eris, no. I can't in all good conscience let you do this..' Alcezar responded sharply. '-they're our friends-'
'Exactly.' Eris cut him off still smirking. 'You know as well as I do that Thanatos doesn't have a heart, or at least not much of one anyway, and he hates the idea of being 'tied down', he's going to dump her at some point so all we're really doing is giving them a little nudge in the right direction..' She sounded in her sweetest most convincing voice then adding, '-don't you wanna help our friends?'
'It's none of our business Eris.' Alcezar hissed irritably, not falling for her ploy.
'Fine.' Eris sounded touchily. 'I'll just do it myself.'
'Eris… no, don't you-' At this point the red-skinned goddess vanished in a shimmer of red causing Alcezar to slap his face. '-Eris, get back here this instant..' He declared angrily.
Nothing.
'Oh for Allah's sake!' Alcezar cursed then vanished out after her in a puff of navy smoke...
…to be cocluded on Valentines Day…
Little Notes:
Hey peeps, this was supposed to be a one-shot but since it will probably end up as long as Trick and Treating I figured a two-parter was the way forward!
Uh-oh… Eris is on the loose with a loathe arrow! Watch out!
Ok, every guy I know seems to have a bottle of Hugo Boss original aftershave which is why I made it Than's choice (plus it smells great on a guy!)..
It's Valentines Day so it made sense to have Cupid and Psyche in the fic and I do hope Stay is doing something with Aphrodite! *hint, hint*
Maleficent's disgust for spring and romance seemed obvious due to her harsh nature but I'm sure when she meets up with Jafar she'll perk up! (That will be in Stay's fic!)
I have had very little conferences with Stay this time but I hope you like it bud! Lemmie know what you think! XP
Stay tuned… concluding chap will be posted on the 14th at some point..
~Ditzy X