This is my own version of Twilight, I don't own the original characters or the concept, all I own is what I called them and how I put the words in order. R&R!!! Please.
A/N: To the not so nice reviewers, I am a Twilight fan and actully love the books and read them all several times, and I own them too. I am not a hater, I just thought this would be funny, that's all it's supposed to be F-U-N-N-Y! I can't even wait for New Moon to come out in November!! YAY!!!
Once upon a time there was this dude, and this dude was very hot. And well he wasn't a dude at all, but a vampire, so he was a hot vampire and a virgin to boot. He wasn't just any 'normal' virgin vampire, he only drank animal blood and to top it off he could read people's minds, so he wasn't a normal hot virgin vampire with pea coat, he was extraordinary. But he sulked a lot and was kinda old and didn't really like himself, he thought he'd be alone for eternity. And well he was wrong of course, he found a clumsy albino whose mind he couldn't read. It was love at first sniff, well on his side anyways, even though he wanted to eat her but she didn't care cause he was a kinda old hot virgin vampire who couldn't read her mind. Then he ran away like the little bitch he was, cause he didn't want to be a 'monster' and eat her, and then it was her turn to sulk. But he couldn't stay away from his new found winy albino for long, he watched her sleep and contemplated eating her anyways. But like the bitch was he didn't, much to every body elses dismay. She found out he was a crazed stalker and a 'masochistic lion' and she still wanted to be his 'stupid lamb'. Then he sparkled in the sun like some one glued glitter on his fucking face, and she still wanted him to sing her 'lullaby'. She met his vampire family and they all decided to play baseball, but not the clumsy winy albino, cause she might trip on her own feet and brake her pretty face. They played in a thunderstorm and three other badass blood drinking vampires showed up and she was going to become some ones elses 'snack'. Oh hell no! The kinda old hot virgin vampire couldn't have that and the hunt was on, they all ran in opposite directions like little bitches. And evidently the clumsy winy albino went with the wrong group cause she got her ass kicked by the 'tracker' and she got herself bitten. But the kinda old hot virgin vampire didn't like that and sucked her blood to save her. And well she survived and every body else hated the bitch who wrote the book. Then there was some thing about prom, dancing and 'the wolves descending'. Wtf? That's were it ended.