A.N: So this is my first entry for RipJawWolfFang's Mattx Mello contest on Deviantart. And since its not really loading right now, I decided to put it on here first.

I chose Matt would get injured. And since I'm lazy and didn't want to draw, I wrote XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or it's characters, If I did, things would be a whole lot different, and I also don't own Clowns by TATU.

Check it out, it's an awesome song.

Mello's POV:

"Matt!" My yell echoed around the empty apartment. Silence. I had expected that, but it had made me momentarily feel a bit better to call his name.

Shit where is he? I sighed, brushing a few stray hairs out of my face, and stood. I hated it when he did this.

He would leave suddenly, late in the night, only to return a few hours later. He never told me where he went. The only answer he had ever given when I asked where he went and what he did was "I have secrets I won't share."

But tonight was different. I had seen him leave this time.

He had looked scared. Like an animal who knew it was walking straight in to a trap.

A deadly, poison laced trap with hunters and guns.

And a nuclear bomb.

And he hadn't come home yet. I was beyond worried. Me. Mello. Worried.

All around me on the floor were tons of chocolate bar wrappers. I always ate more chocolate when I was nervous, or worried, or pissed.

And I was all three of those things.

I walked silently to the kitchen, looking up at the clock. It was a little past four in the morning. He had left over five hours ago.

That's it. I'm getting help. I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open, dialing the number of one of my subordinates.

My logic being "If the mafia can't find him, no one can."

Just as I was about to hit call, I heard someone knock, followed by a weak and feeble voice call "Mello...?" I shut the phone and dropped it, almost running to the door and flinging it open.

Matt fell in on me, having been using the door as a support. The first thing I noticed was the reek of smoke.

The second, the feeling of something warm flowing on to my chest. I pushed him gently off of me, and looked at him. I was shocked at what I saw.

His shirt was ripped and stained a deep red, blood dripping out of slash marks and to my horror, a bullet wound in his shoulder.

I realized the warmth on my chest was his blood.

"Matt! What the hell happened?" I yelled, picking him up and sprinting to the bathroom. He didn't respond. He was out cold.

Not. Freaking. Good.

I set him down in the tub, and began cutting away the remains of his shirt with my pocket knife. In most occasions I would have zoned out, admiring his chest, but the blood and fear of his death snapped me out and in to "focused Mafia boss Mello mode" as Matt liked to call it. There were three slashes, two of which would definitely need stitches.

The gun shot would be a whole other issue.

I opened the drawer filled with first aid shit Matty had nicked from a hospital when I was in the explosion.

Thank god.

I grabbed a bottle of some kind of antiseptic along with some bandages, a pair of tweezers, and a needle and medical thread.

"Hold on Matty, you'll be okay." I whispered, kneeling beside the tub and carefully starting to clean out the slashes.

I nearly stopped when I saw tears run down his cheeks.

But I couldn't.

The tears didn't stop as I started to stitch without any way to numb the pain.

He had used all of the pain meds and anesthesia on me.

"I'm almost done Matty, please hold on."

That was only half the truth. I was only almost done with the cuts. He whimpered softly, and I could tell he was starting to wake up.

I quickly finished and tied off the string before wrapping his chest with the bandages. Now for the gun shot- "M-mello?"

He blinked weakly, his green eyes searching wildly for me. "I'm here Matt, I'm here." I gripped his hand.

He relaxed a bit, focusing on me. "It hurts..." he whined.

I swallowed hard. If it hurts now, it'll be agony when I take out the bullet. "It's okay, I'll fix it, just relax and look at me." I tried to sound soothing, but I know my voice was laced with fear for him.

He nodded weakly, his eyes remaining trained on me. I was glad he wasn't wearing his goggles.

He didn't look away from me when I picked up the tweezers, and cleaned them off along with the hole in his arm. He didn't look away when I started pulling out the offending piece of bloody metal embedded in his arm. He didn't scream, he didn't move.

A few tears still fell though. His eyes were shining, filled with pain, and I could tell he was truly hurting, but he didn't look away.

He hissed when the bullet finally slid out, and it dropped to the bathroom floor with a soft "clink". I didn't know what to do then. I couldn't stitch it, it was too deep.

I also couldn't let him bleed to death in the bath tub now that his shoulder was open and a steady stream of red was trickling out.

"You'll have to burn it Mells." he whispered.

He was right.

But I couldn't do it. I shook my head. He still locked his gaze on my face. "Shit Mello... please just do it."

I took a shaky breath. He was depending on me. After keeping whatever caused this away from me for so long, he was depending on me.

I pulled a lighter out of his pants pocket, and set it on the rim of the tub before grabbing a bucket and filling it with cold water. I also grabbed two towels before sitting back down beside him.

He looked so weak, so fragile, so helpless.

He looked so trusting as the flame flickered to life. "Please... Please try not to scream." I begged, the flame coming closer.

Instead, he started to sing softly to himself, never looking away from me.

"All this weeping in the air
Who can tell where it will fall?
Through floating forests in the air
'Cross the rolling open sea..."

There was a hiss as the fire began to meld shut the wound. The tears fell faster, I thought I would break apart. It must hurt so very very badly. I didn't remember. He had taken suck care and time to take away the pain.

"Clowns that only let you know
Where you let your senses go
Clowns all around you
It's a cross I need to bear..."

The song was haunting. It was breaking my heart. His voice was so soft, so beautiful, laced with utter agony. He was doing it for me. He knew I wouldn't be able to take it if he screamed. I remembered this song too, he used to sing it for me when I woke up with nightmares back at Wammy's.

The edges of the hole were turning red and black, it was slowly closing over. I sucked in a shaky breath and continued, unable to look away from the grotesque burning hole.

"All this black and cruel despair
This is an emergency
Don't you hide your eyes from me
Open them and see me now..."

He faltered slightly at the end if that chorus, and I nearly pulled away and chucked the lighter across the room, but I couldn't. The smell of burning flesh made me want to gag. Made me want to cry for him.

"Can you see?
Can you see?
See me here in the air
Not holding on to anywhere
But holding on so beware
I have secrets I won't share..."

Secrets. I had to know who did this to him. And why. And then I would rip them apart, limb from limb. Make them feel the pain he felt now. I would make them pay.

"Clowns that only let you know
Where you let your senses go
Clowns all around you
It's a cross I need to bear..."

There. It was done. I threw the lighter as far away from me as I could. He was shaking. I wrapped the black charred hole in the last of the bandages and pulled him tightly in to my arms, and carried him to our bed.

"Matty...?" I asked softly. I wanted to know.

"Mello... Go to the door, there is something f-for...you." He coughed slightly at the end, sinking in to the pillow and closing his eyes. He was asleep in a flash.

I stood up, and walked out to the door, and opened it. There was a simple wrapped package, with a letter and a nice little black bow. I carried it back to our room and placed it on the bed beside Matt, opening the letter.

"Dear Mello,

Happy Birthday! I'm sorry about sneaking out so many times, I had to take a few jobs to get you your present. I hope you enjoy it.

Love,
Matt."

He was right. It was now the thirteenth. It was my birthday. He had gotten me a present? With hacking jobs. Which meant... He had just gotten back from his last job... And the jerks who had hired him had tried to kill him before paying him off.

I finally let a few tears fall. I smiled sadly, understanding it all now. "Matt..."

I opened the box carefully, my breath held. Inside was a fancy and expensive looking velvet liner and nestled in the liner was… a brand new black and red beaded Rosary. I had lost my old one in the explosion.

I stared. It was beautifully crafted, the beads shining and the cross, perfectly polished silver. "Matt…" I breathed, looking back at him, sound asleep.

He had done this for me? How had he even known? I slipped the rosary around my neck, admiring it. I would treasure it forever. Just like I would treasure him.

I kept watch over him the entire night, never letting myself fall asleep. I also called my subordinates again, ordering them to track down the men who had attacked Matt and bring them in.

Dead or alive.

When Matt finally woke up the next morning, a large sigh of relief escaped me. I hadn't known whether or not he would live.

That worry had added a few hundred more chocolate wrappers to the floor.

"Mello?" He had asked quietly, trying to sit up. I pinned him back down gently, telling him "It would only hurt more." He didn't try to get up again.

"Do you like your present?" I stared back at him, slightly shocked that that was the first thing he would worry about. I nodded quickly, smiling.

"Yeah Matt, I really do, thanks. But you didn't have too, I never wanted you to get hurt." I replied, gripping his hand. He smiled. "I'm sorry. I probably wrecked your birthday." Oh Matt, always worrying about me first. I nearly wanted to yell YOU GOT FREAKING SHOT IN THE ARM, CARE ABOUT YOURSELF! MY BIRTHDAY CAN GO TO HELL!

But I didn't. Yelling at him would not be tolerated. Instead I assured him "You didn't wreck it Matty."

"I'm glad…" he replied, relaxing.

"Hey Matt?" I suddenly asked, getting an idea.

"Yeah?"

"I know one thing you could do that would make it even better…" I trailed off, smirking.

His eyes brightened, making me smirk even more. "Really, what?"

"Kiss me."

He did.