Everything belongs to BBC America. This takes place right after COE. I used Right Here Waiting, originally by Richard Marx, but please, when following this fic, look up John Barrowman's cover. It makes more sense that way.

First person to figure out the meaning behind Ianto's townhouse number gets cookies.

Rated M cursing, and memories.

Dedicated to everyone who loves Janto as much as I do.

Enjoy.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

It took Jack Harkness approximately 13 minutes to finally turn the key.

He went to give his condolences to Rhiannon and her husband about Ianto dying. Hell. Jack has not even changed out of the outfit he wore when he held Ianto in his arms as the 456 took his life away. When he stopped by the house, Rhiannon told Jack how much Ianto really loved him. She said that she has not ever seen him so passionate about someone. Jack smiled a bit, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Rhiannon went and hugged the man that was finally broken. She had gotten the call from Gwen about him losing his "nephew" and his sister hating him for it. Jack had no choice. He did what he had to do, and he would have rather had someone cut him apart and threw the pieces in flames.

Rhiannon handed Jack the keys to Ianto's townhouse. She wrote out the directions and placed them in front of him.

"I think Ianto would have liked it if you went and cleaned out his townhouse."

Jack placed his hand over the key and note and nodded. "Thank you, Rhiannon. I'm sorry for my loss. I tried everything to get the 456 to stop releasing the poison."

"I know Jack. Ianto would have died all over again if it meant saving your life. It still makes me wonder how you got out of there Jack."

"That's for another time. Thank you again."

Rhiannon showed him out and waved a bit when he drove away.

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Now he was here, standing in front of 522 K, with the key in the lock. Jack slowly turned it and opened up the door. It was an odd feeling, stepping into the house. He took out the key and closed the door, locking it behind him. Jack looked around a bit. Nearly spotless, like Ianto was never here. Jack took off his coat and placed it over a chair, walking further in. He noticed the pictures on the wall. Most of them were his team members. Ianto was all but married to his jobs at Torchwood.

Jack walked into the kitchen and looked around in there, he noticed the gallon sized bag of ground up coffee that Ianto does by hand. Jack walked over, opened it up and scooped a bit into his hand, bringing it up to nose and inhaling deeply, coughing a bit when a bit travelled up his nose, but his eyes watered up again, thinking of Ianto. He put the coffee back into the bag and zipped it up tightly. He ran my hand over the coffee maker and looked around before walking out and into the living room where he saw more pictures, a telly, a lamp. Nothing too exciting.

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Jack walked upstairs and stepped into the guest room, where it was set up almost in a fung shui way. Everything just felt relaxing in here. He stepped out and paused, hesitating before stepping into Ianto's bedroom. He looked inside before walking in. Jack's heart started pounding as he sat on the bed. That's when he saw the picture. Sitting there on the night stand, Jack picked it up and looked at it closely. It was of him and Ianto, lips just barely touching and their arms wrapped around each other. Jack picked up the note and opened it.

Managed to catch this moment on camera, thought you might appreciate it more that the Captain.

xxGwen.

Jack smiled a bit and shook his head. "I would have loved it, Gwen." He murmured before placing it back. He noticed a book sitting on the table and picked it up, but when he opened it, it was something more. A journal of sorts, Jack kicked off his boots and leaned against the headboard, holding the journal in his hands. This was his chance to know Ianto. To learn about him and his thoughts. A sickening feeling rushed through him.

Should he really be doing this? Would Ianto hate him if he did?

Jack pushed up on the lock and the strap fell open. Jack opened up the book and went to about the middle before starting to read.

22 February, 2005:

It was an interesting day. I basically missed a day because I was out late. There was this man, with a greatcoat. Amazing smile. There was something on top of him. Bit him. But he healed up, so quickly. It was a weevil. I just know it. Nothing snarls like that and bites like that and is not a weevil. Come to find out, I was right. That man was Jack Harkness. Leader of Torchwood Three. All around perfect man. I want to work for him. I will do anything to be on his team. They are excellent.

Jack grinned a bit before turning the pages a bit.

25 February, 2005:

Score one for Ianto Jones. Myfanwy came through for me. I managed to get a job working for Jack. I think the ticket was saving him. Or maybe it was because I landed on top of him. I got a look at his face and I could tell something was there. Damn. Look at me. Fawning over him like some girl. I have chosen my best suit for my first day, and I ground up some fresh coffee for the team. This is going to be amazing.

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Jack continued to read. Some amazing firsts from when they first kissed up until Owen and Tosh. Jack took a deep breath as he read the final journal entry from Ianto.

no date:

This is the end. Both Tosh and Owen are dead. [tear stain] I know bad times are coming. That's something I have known for a long time now. I just want to write this. If I never come back home, I might be dead. I just hope that I have died for Jack. I love him. He is everything to me. He's the reason I get up in the morning at 3 am working on fresh coffee to bring in every morning. The reason I come home late sometimes, because to him it might just be another fuck, but to me, he's making love to me. From our little flings in the office to when we disappear to his little underground bed, I feel a sense of belonging. Sometimes, when we fall asleep, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I watch him dream; sometimes with a smile, sometimes with worry lines. I kiss his worry lines, hoping that will make them disappear.

Sometimes I wonder, why me? Why did he choose me to kiss? Why did he choose me to fuck? Did he love me like I loved him? Or was I just another blip in his timeline. He has lived forever, seen the world probably twice over, and here I am. Dreading the day that I see a gray hair, because that's when I'll know that I would have to end everything. Because he is forever young…[tear stain], and I will eventually die. He will move on, choose someone else to fuck and love.

I can't even bring up the word marriage to him. Because why would he want to marry me? Call me his husband and us live together. Maybe adopt. He can't do that. He will live on while our perfect family dies.

Does he ever think of marrying me? That is something I wonder all the time. I better go, the coffee is ready.

Jack closed and locked the journal back up, tears streaming down his face and he held the book to his chest. "Why!" he cried out to no one. "Why him!" Jack pulled his knees to the chest and buried his head into them, heaving out sobs, knowing that he couldn't bring Ianto back.

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

It took Jack thirteen minutes to calm down his sobs and fall asleep, curled up. He was still holding onto the book. Jack had a nightmare that night. Reliving the day that Ianto died in his arms and the final kiss that Jack felt Ianto exhaling one last time. He woke up with a freshly-tear stained face.

Jack turned and took in the scent of Ianto's pillow, just like him. Every bit of it. Jack lifted his hand and curled his fingers into the softness. He imagined himself suffocating. But it was impossible. He couldn't die. He couldn't go with be with Ianto in the afterlife. He couldn't wake up somewhere in the white light and see Ianto, run over and hug him, kiss him and promise to never let go.

Jack took a deep breath before getting up and walking into the bathroom, he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair, before looking up and seeing the picture of him on the mirror. Ianto kept a picture of him on the mirror. Jack splashed water on his face before looking up in the mirror and walking back out, walking out of the room and down the stairs, turning on the coffee maker and tried to recreate the coffee.

Jack ended up pouring out every bit of the coffee in the pot and slid down onto the floor and leaned back against the cupboards. He looked down at the coffee mug.

"I love you, Ianto Jones."

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you