Today I'm not even going to bother with a yodle, and not for a change of pace, or for humor.
On July 13th, 2012, a classmate of mine was skateboarding when he was hit by a dump truck and died. I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now, nor do I want to imagine what his loved ones must be going through.
The worst part is, I made fun of him. He was (for I won't sugar-coat him, no matter how much I might want to) one of those boys who was annoying, never focused on school much (as far as I know), and just annoyed me with his attitude. One of those people who can't help but look down upon; at least I couldn't. Of course I could be completely wrong, for I didn't know him. I know nothing about him except for his name, the fact he was in my class, and a few other things. I had no right to judge him the way I did, and now he's dead.
It's so messed up, how it took for him to die before I actually realized this. A life had to be ripped from this plane of existence for me to realize a fault of mine, to make this conclusion about myself.
So please; don't do what I did guys. Don't. In the end, you'll only regret it and it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
And so, I don't own Teen Titans, because people who judge wrongly don't deserve to be rewarded.
Raven found, to her horror, that she couldn't look away. She wanted to, by Azar she wanted to, but it was if some horribly power was preventing her mind and heart from taking control.
It was oddly fascinating, in its own morbid way, how they covered the corpse with a sheet. It was as if they thought that by covering it, they could pretend that it hadn't of happened. Like it had never even taken place, right there on the street.
She wasn't a stranger to death and destruction; she saw someone burn to death when she was four. She knew of casualties in a battle, and as a Titan had accepted the possibility of her own demise, and that of her teammates.
But he had been a bystander. A boy who couldn't slow his skateboard in time to avoid the flying rubble. Was that why she couldn't look away? Because it was because of the battle her team was in?
Or was it because the rubble was due to her ripping out piping with her own powers. Because she had caused death like this before, caused this suffering to who-knows how many.
It wasn't a good thing, watching as the family raced onto the scene. It wasn't healthy to watch the mother collapse and be pried away, her screams filling the mockingly bright and sunny day. It was certainly not good to make eye contact with the father, his grief stricken eyes pouring into her.
But she still couldn't bring herself to pull back, to look away. She couldn't.
Because it didn't matter that it was only one person this time it was still the same as then with the blood and fire and the screams the death and those people, those poor poor people that she killed she didn't mean too she was only a kid she was so sorry and why couldn't she stop and they were bleeding bleeding and burning and Azar wasn't moving why aren't you moving please please move don't leave me alone teacher please DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE I'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY-
"Raven, are you okay?" Beast Boy placed a hand on her shoulder, and she could feel the concern emanating from him. "I guess it is pretty gruesome."
"He's dead; that's all there is too it."
". . . You can't be serious, right?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
". . . I don't believe you. You can't just sit there impassively; not this time. He died Raven, he died! He got in the middle of our fight and if I had just noticed he was there; it was my job to clear out the civilians and I just didn't notice him and he's dead now! You can't be unaffected by this; you can't! I know I don't know you all that well yet even with the whole mirror thing, but you can't just be able to sit by here and not care! You can't! What if it was your kid? Your brother? People you knew? Can you imagine the pain that his friends and family are-"
"No. I can't. Not at their level. And I don't want to; I don't want to know." Raven felt her fist clench as her body began to shake. "He was just a kid. A stupid brat who went where he shouldn't have, and died. He was killed simply because of circumstance." Just like them. "He didn't know what was going on." Just as ignorant as they had been. "He didn't want to die." Like what they cried out at the very end. "He didn't need to die." No matter what He said because he's wrong wrong wrong. "But he is and there's nothing we can do about it." And it was me I've done it again. "And if we let it get to us, it'll only cause more people to get hurt or worse." So keep it all bottled in, don't let it escape not even a little like you were taught. "Or we'll have even more blood on our hands." I'm sorry I didn't want to I'm sorry I'm so sorry.
"That's not right." Beast Boy shook, his eyes glinting with anger and tears. "That's not right Raven! It's unhealthy, and sickening for humans to deal with trauma like that!"
"Lucky for us then," Raven said as she made eye contact. "We're soldiers that can't afford to think about it. We can't afford to be human. It's good that we're not human."
For how do you escape the guilt without an excuse?
R.I.P Corey
I'm so sorry