GHOSTBUSTERS EVA
by Gunman
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, Ghostbusters or their characters.
Summary: When Ghosts invade Tokyo-3, paranormal investigators Shinji Ikari and his friends are the only ones who are capable of stopping them from destroying the city.
Authors Notes: This is just a fragment, something I was working on. It's basically an AU, in which Shinji Ikari and his Evangelion associates are characters in the Ghostbusters universe. This is only a fragment, a small part of a larger story. But I wanted to post something on Halloween, so hope everyone enjoys this small segment of my work.
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(Central Park East Building, Tokyo-3, Japan)
The top floor of the building itself held a large ancient-looking pyramid, a glass-like staircase, translucent doors, two alters for the Terror Dogs to wait upon, and assorted obelisks and hieroglyphs to be seen.
The building itself was little more than a gateway into another dimension. Created by a demented genius named Keel Lorenz who wanted nothing more than to create a means of bringing the evil god of destruction, Kaworu The Nagisan, the Destroyer of Worlds, to Earth.
The two former females, Rei Ayanami and Mana Kirishima, who were now the Terror Dogs Zuul and Vinz Clortho, were sitting on the two alters between the staircase where Kaworu was to enter.
The four Ghostbusters just looked up and watched as the translucent doors to the temple opened up, and a single figure appeared before them.
The figure looked like an effeminate male with short white-ish hair, glowing red eyes, dressed in a white and silver bodysuit stepped out and walked over to his two pets/minions.
"It's a... girl?" Doctor Kensuke Aida said.
"It's Kaworu!" Shinji Ikari, PhD, said.
"I thought Kaworu was a man." Sergeant Toji Suzuhara wondered.
"A very effeminate man." Doctor Ryoji Kaji said.
"It's whatever it wants to be." Shinji said.
"Well, whatever it is, it has to get by us." Ryoji said aloud.
"Right." Kensuke agreed.
"Go get 'er Ken!" Kaji said.
Kensuke looked at Ryoji with a subtle expression of betrayal and 'WTF' on his face. Shinji and Toji said nothing as Kensuke stepped up to ancient Sumarian God of Destruction.
"Kaworu The Nagisan! Good evening! As a duly designated representative of the city, country and state of Tokyo, Japan, I order to you cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension!" Kensuke shouted.
"That ought to do it, thanks's a lot Ken." Ryoji said sarcastically.
"Are you a god?" Kaworu asked in a deep, echoing voice.
"Well... I like to think so." Kensuke smirked.
Ryoji and Toji rolled their eyes at that. Shinji just cocked an eyebrow.
"But you are not." Kaworu said.
"No."
"Then... DIE!" he said as he threw his hands out and blasted the four Ghostbusters with bolts of energy and lightning.
The quartet were blown up towards the edge of the large and very tall building. The four came to a sudden stop and pulled themselves back from the edge.
"Ken... when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" Toji hissed at the glasses-wearing tech genius.
"It's the first time I got asked." Kensuke whimpered.
"Alright, that's it! This chick is toast!" Ryoji shouted as he stood up.
The quartet walked up to the steps of the citadel.
"Got Your Stick?" Kaji shouted.
"HOLD 'EM!" Shinji, Kensuke and Toji shouted.
"Heat Em Up!" Kaji shouted.
"SMOKIN'!" the trio shouted in unison.
"Make It Hard!" Kaji shouted again.
"READY!" the others replied.
"Let's show this prehistoric transvestite how we do things downtown!" Kaji said as he stared at the
Kaworu crouched low, looking like he was ready to jump. He wiggled his butt in anticipation of the fight.
"Throw It!" Kaji shouted.
Kaworu jumped over the particle streams as they tried to strike him. He jumped over, twisted through the air and then barreled into the quartet, knocking them down.
Kaworu looked at Shinji, as he was looming over him.
"You're cute." he smiled at the scientist.
"That's it!" Shinji said as he raised his proton gun and stuck it into Kaworu's stomach before he fired.
"ARGH!" Kaworu shouted as he flew off from the young man. "Oh, playing hard to get, are we? I like them feisty!" Kaworu said as his sides instantly began to heal.
"I'd rather do your dog!" Shinji hissed as he scrambled to his feet.
"Well, one of them was your... prospective." the God said with a playful shrug.
"I know. And I'd like her back!" Shinji shouted as his teammates flanked him.
"Aim for the hair!" Kensuke shouted.
The quartet fired at Kaworu, striking him hard, only for him to vanish into thin air.
The Ghostbusters stared out at the nothing, and then looked at each other.
"That wasn't so hard." Ryoji said.
"We neutronized it! You know what this means? A complete particle reversal." Kensuke said.
"We have the tools! We have the talent!" Toji cried out happily.
"It's Yebisu time!" Ryoji smiled as he high-fived Toji and Kensuke.
"Ken! This looks extraordinarily bad." Shinji said as he analyzed his scanner.
"Oh, no." Kensuke gasped as he looked at the meter.
"What?" Ryoji asked.
RUMBLE, CRACK, BOOM!
"Look Out!" Shinji cried out as the group dodged the falling debris from the building and temple. Not only the quartet dodging the debris, but the people on the street were as well.
Suddenly, a deep booming voice caught everyones attention.
"Sub-creatures! Kaworu the Destructor, Kaworu the Nagisan..., Volguus Zildrohar the Traveler as come. Choose, and perish."
"What do you mean 'choose'? We don't understand." Kensuke asked.
"Choose. Choose the form of the Destructor." Kaworu shouted again.
Kaji laughed as he jumped in front of everyone.
"Oh, I get it! I get it! Oh, very cute. Whatever we think of. If we think of a giant can of beer to come and destroy it, it will appear and destroy us, so empty your heads! Don't think of anything, we only have one shot at this!" Ryoji said.
"The choice is made!" Kaworu declared.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Kaji shouted back.
"The Traveler has come!" Kaworu said.
"Nobody chose anything! Did you choose anything?" Kaji asked Shinji.
"No." Shinji replied.
"Did you?" Kaji asked Toji.
"My mind is totally blank." Toji said.
"I didn't choose anything!" Kaji shouted back.
Everyone then slowly turned and looked at Kensuke.
"I couldn't help it. It just popped in there." Kensuke gasped in innocence.
"What? What just popped in there?" Kaji asked.
"I tried to think..."
"LOOK!" Shinji suddenly shouted.
"No, it can't be!" Kensuke whimpered.
"What is it?" Kaji shouted.
"It can't be!" Kensuke shouted.
"What did you do, Ken?" Kaji asked again.
"Oh, shit!" Toji gasped.
The quartet just stared as the large animal-like creature waddled through the city.
"Is that..." Kaji asked.
"Pen-Pen?" Shinji asked.
"The warm-water penguin from that old TV show you used to watch." Kaji said.
"You watched it too!" Kensuke shouted back.
"Well, that's something you don't see everyday." Toji said.
"Considering Kensuke's penchant for war machines, this is actually better." Shinji stated.
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something that I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly hurt us. Pen-Pen." Kensuke said.
"Nice thinking, Ken."
"We used to roast Pen-Pen shaped marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Osaka." Kensuke said, on the verge of tears now.
"Kensuke has gone bye-bye, Shinji. What have you got left?" Kaji asked.
"Sorry, Kaji. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought." Shinji said as he continued to stare at the 100-foot red-haired penguin who was slashing buildings with his claws.
"Oh, no!" Toji gasped as Pen-Pen eyed the Shinto Shrine that was next to the building they were standing on.
"Mother pus bucket!" Kaji gasped.
"WARK!" the giant monster squawked as it stepped onto the Shrine.
"Nobody Steps On A Church In My Town!" Kaji shouted.
"One... two... three... Roast Him!" Kensuke shouted as the quartet fired their proton guns at the beast.
"WAAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKK!" Pen-Pen screamed as the energy streams struck him and started roasting his skin.
The gigantic fowl shrieked, shrugged off the proton beams and started climbing the building to try and get at them.
"Funny us going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot penguin!" Kensuke groaned as the group hid behind one of the buildings walls.
"We've been going about this all wrong. This Pen-Pen is a warm-water penguin. He likes fish. We get this guy some sushi, we won't have any trouble." Kaji said, trying to make like the situation seem lighter than it was.
"I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate." Shinji said suddenly.
"But how?" Kensuke asked.
"We'll cross the streams." Shinji said.
"Excuse me, Shinji! You said that crossing the streams was bad." Kaji stated.
"Cross the streams..." Kensuke muttered to himself.
"You're gonna endanger us. You're gonna endanger our client. The nice woman who paid us in advance before she turned into a dog!" Kaji said. "You know, the one you like!"
"Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive." Shinji retorted.
The group looked at each other for several tense seconds, even as the gigantic warm-water penguin continued to get closer.
"Okay, why not? It's a plan, it could work. Let's do it!" Kaji said, smacking Kensuke in the face happily as he got up and headed towards the Temple.
"This job is definitely not worth 20,000 a year!" Toji said as he got up and followed the others.
"See you on the other side, Ken!" Shinji said to his friend.
"Nice working with you, Dr. Ikari." Kensuke said to his friend.
The pair fired their weapons and blasted the front doors to Kaworu's temple.
"Turn em on, Kaji!" Shinji shouted.
"Now, Toji!" Kensuke shouted.
The quartet fired as one, blasting the front of Kaworu's temple, their proton streams wrapping around each other and concentrating their power, before firing off a large ball of energy at the temple in one shot that completely destroyed the temple itself.
The blast destroyed the entire upper part of the building... and Pen-Pen along with it.
The gigantic penguin fell to the street, twitching and spasming on the floor.
One woman, a purple-haired lady named Misato Katsuragi, approached the large creature.
"Oh, you poor. Creature. Don't worry. I'll take care of you." she said as she petted the beak of the injured beast.
Up on top of the building, the four Ghostbusters looked around at the damage they had done. Everything was essentially destroyed, and the two Terror Dogs were now looking like charcoal briquettes.
"It smells like burnt dog-hair." Kaji said.
"Kaji!" Kensuke hissed.
"Oh! Oh, Shinji, I'm sorry. I... I just forgot." he said as Shinji was standing right next to the figure that was once Rei Ayanami.
Shinji said nothing as he started to walk away. Suddenly, the charred creature started to move, pieces around its paws starting to break off, revealing human features within. Shinji was quick to jump up and start breaking pieces off of the figure.
"Get her out of there!" Kensuke shouted as he and the others started breaking the creature apart to reveal a half-conscious young woman, only now she had blue hair, red eyes and pale skin.
"Rei? Rei! Are you alright?" Shinji asked as she cradled the woman in his arms.
"Oh... hi." she said as she looked at Shinji. She smiled lightly.
"Hey! Someone turn on the lights!" another voice cried out as the other Terror Dog started to move.
"Check on that other girl." Shinji said as Toji and Kensuke went over to help her.
The pair quickly got the young woman out of the charred Terror Dog. She staggered a little as she tried to focus her eyesight.
"Who are you guys?" Mana asked the pair.
"We're the Ghostbusters." Kensuke said.
"You're cute." she said as she looked at the glasses-wearing Ghostbuster.
"Uh... thank you?" Kensuke said, unaccustomed to a pretty girl, with short red hair and blue eyes, flirting with him.
"I'm Mana. Mana Kirishima." she said, holding out her hand.
"I'm Kensuke Aida." he said to her.
"Who does your taxes?" she asked.
"Uh... well..."
The Ghostbusters and their two friends eventually came down from the rooftop.
"Kaji!" Misato called out.
"Misato? What's going on?" Ryoji asked when he saw the woman, but also the gigantic penguin behind her.
"Look! I got a new pet!" she said.
"WARK!"
"Misato... what?" he gasped, realizing what she was saying.
"Look at him! He's so cute!" Misato stated.
"Are you serious or are you drunk again?" Kaji asked.
"What's wrong? And look! He likes me!" Misato said as Pen-Pen nuzzled the purple-haired woman.
"Oh, God!" Kaji groaned as the large penguin snapped its beak at him.
"We're keeping him!" Misato declared.
Shinji and Rei were kissing happily by the side of their hearse turned work vehicle, EVA-1. Mana and Kensuke were talking to reporters about the incident.
"I LOVE THIS TOWN!" Toji cried out happily.
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Authors Notes:
I was originally going to have Pen-Pen die, but I thought that would be too cruel. So I pulled a King Kong-like move and had him survive, and now Misato is going to adopt him as her new pet. He had been turned into a penguin, so he was starting to think like a penguin. The nuclear blast and the fall have eradicated his Kaworu personality, and he is now completely a penguin. I was going to make Pen-Pen a green ghost penguin/pet of the Ghostbusters, but I can imagine how funny it would be to have a 100-foot penguin as a pet.
And I was originally going to have Misato as the 'Dana Barrett' in this story, but I decided to have Rei (who looked 'normal' instead of an albino, but now she is an albino with blue hair and red eyes)
And yes, I paired Mana with Kensuke, because... why not?
Hope everyone enjoyed this read.