My Love
She woke up to an empty bed once again. Slowly opening her eyes, she breathed in deeply and held it to stop the tears that threatened to spill over. It had been only a week since she lost him, every day it still hurt her to see that empty space. To know that she will never be able to hold him again tore her apart inside. She couldn't fall apart in front of her child; he was only eight years old. She was strong for him, only for him. When she was alone, she broke down; tears would become a best friend to her for a few hours. Now she held them in, thinking. In order to distract herself, she focused on the cold air that hit her exposed fingers and she relished in the caress of her red blanket she had fallen asleep wearing over her.
She dared to close her eyes and immediately she saw his smiling face. Her face crumpled and she let go a silent sob. She spent the next few minutes clutching her pillow and let his name escape her lips in a choked whisper. "Jacob…."
Her son was outside her door when she said his father's name. He was on his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water when he stopped and peered into his parents' room. He saw his mother weeping on her bed alone and, without thinking, slipped inside and made his way onto the bed. He crawled next to his mother and hugged her, placing his head on her chest. Her heart beat was accelerated from her crying. She opened her eyes and saw her son clutching her, not out of fear, but out of comfort. She cradled him to her chest and sat up, rocking him back and forth. She let the tears stop naturally and sighed sadly as she rocked her baby, humming a soft tune to keep in rhythm.
"Mommy, it'll be all right." The young boy said.
The woman smiled and kissed the top of her sons head, ruffling his hair softly with her hand. He looked so much like Jacob, his fat baby face showed the features, especially in his large nose. His eyes were coal black to match his shaggy hair and his skin was copper colored. A color she had loved on Jacob. Her pale skin contrasted immensely but she didn't mind. She knew that was her son, he was all she had left.
"I know it will. It'll just take time. He would want us to be happy. That too, will come in time." She said, holding him closer and looking up at the ceiling.
She knew in her heart that her husband was looking down on them now, she just hoped God was treating him nicely. Giving him the peace he deserved.
"Mommy...how did you and Daddy meet?" he asked slowly, hoping not to offend his mother.
She smiled and placed her head on top of his in deep thought. She spoke softly, her voice vibrating through her son's body. "Well, we met at school. I was in my second year of high school when I saw your father riding up on his motorcycle. He was sneaking into the school that day; I didn't know the reason at the time. But when I asked him years later, he told me that he snuck in to see me. I only knew him through what your granddad, Charlie, would say about him and his father, Billy…."
The air was freezing, normal weather for Forks but most were not used to this weather, particularly one Arizonan girl, who was hiding in the drivers' side of an old faded orange truck as her friend stepped out of the passenger side with confidence.
"Bella, a little cold air won't kill you. Come on, you're acting like you're going to die of hypothermia!" shouted her friend, who leaned impatiently against the trucks' hood, pushing her blonde hair behind her ear.
"Says the girl who has lived here all her life. I only came in summer, remember? It was warm then." Said Bella, finally giving into her friends' pleading and slipped out of the truck slowly, taking extra time to lock both doors and zip up her jacket all the way.
"You look like a snowman, Bells." said the blonde girl, shaking her head. "Come on, Frosty, walking around will heat us up before class."
"Fine." said Bella, her teeth chattering as they walked quickly around the perimeter of the building.
They walked for a good ten minutes before Bella finally got used to the cool air. Her friend looked at her with a smug smile on her face as she saw Bella relaxing a little. Students passed by them, hurrying their selves to class. Suddenly a voice shouted from behind, startling both girls.
"Hey Jessica!"
The blonde girl turned around and squealed just as loud. "Aaron!"
Bella rolled her eyes before turning around as well to watch Jessica and the boy named Aaron smash into each other kissing so violently that Bella thought he would push her face in. Bella was used to this scene by now, Jessica being attacked by her boyfriend with Bella standing off awkwardly to the side. This time, however, with the weather in mind, Bella put her foot down.
"Either get a room, or I'm gone, Jess." she snapped.
They broke apart and Aaron shot her a dirty look that Jessica didn't seem to notice. "You go on ahead I'll catch up okay Bells?" she said breathlessly, she looked anxious to return to her previous activity.
Sighing softly Bella agreed and continued her walk alone, making an effort to put as much distance between her and the face-suckers as possible. No one bothered to look at the petite brunette walking by herself, stumbling every now and then. They all had more important matters to attend to than watch a pitiful scene such as hers. Bella, however, observed her surroundings quite meticulously out of sheer boredom. She noticed that nearly all the students seemed to be rushing to do their homework on any hard surface they could find before the bell rang. One girl was even using her boyfriends stomach and a book while he playfully rubbed her back.
Bella rolled her eyes and kept walking, she had finished her homework at home and had an hour to kill until she was actually needed anywhere. Kicking around the stray bits of rock that littered the walkway, Bella started to hum aimlessly to herself wishing she had an iPod or MP3 player to help time go by faster. Bella was not of high status at the small high school, people took to avoiding her since her father, Charlie Swan, was the local chief of police. No one wanted to mess around with the daughter of a man who could put you behind bars for the rest of your days.
Bella found this consequence both unfortunate and rewarding. On the one hand, Bella was rarely bullied at her school, but on the other, no one talked to her at all except to ask for help on an assignment. Only Jessica, the schools most popular attendant, talked to Bella like she was human, if only for certain hours of the day. Jessica did have her own life, much to Bella's chagrin, and she did not have any real reason to hang around Bella every minute of every day.
It had been a fleeting dream of Bella's that her status would somehow magically change once people saw that the most talked about girl around town was seen conversing with the quiet wall flower Swan. A dream that was soon locked away into the back of Bella's mind, where it sat quietly, waiting to be thought of again. Bella's own sixteenth birthday had been a pathetic occasion that ended with her trudging miserably up to her room, leaving Charlie to scarf down the remainder of her 'homemade' chocolate cake, which had resembled a pile of mud rather than a delicious pastry.
The quiet town of Forks grew lonely in the world of Bella Swan, a girl of no extraordinary talent, just a sad history. Her own mother, Renee, had abandoned the life of parenthood when Bella reached fifteen. Bella got to watch Renee run off with her amateur baseball player boyfriend to be married while Bella packed up her clothes and bought a plane ticket to Forks, Washington to live out the remainder of her adolescence with her childlike father.
Bella had walked slowly around the entire school in no more than thirty minutes; she could already see her truck in the parking lot a few feet away. Not wanting to pass by the front entrance again, in case Jessica and Aaron were still swapping spit and other bodily fluids, she jogged over to a nearby tree and sat down underneath it. She looked up at the grey sky through the green leaves and huffed.
"Sun, where are you when I need you?" she said to herself.
The brunette drifted into a daydream. She imagined herself surrounded by laughing friends, people who would playfully wrestle with her and hug her for no reason. She smiled to herself and became blind to the world around her.
Twenty minutes passed and the school yard was slowly emptying as everyone began to collect their belongings and go inside to the warm brightly lit hallways. Jessica and Aaron sniggered quietly to themselves as they passed by Bella who was asleep underneath the tree. They hurried inside with the others while Bella shifted her head against the trees' trunk. In Bella's mind, she was already in class, gossiping about the latest party that she went to over the weekend; giggling quietly about the boy who sits across the room who just so happened to wink at her on cue.
Bella was in a perfect world and did not want to be disturbed. One can imagine the anger she felt when a loud bang awoke her from her light slumber. She looked around to see the cause of the disturbance and noticed a boy hoping off a large motorcycle removing his helmet. His face was a gorgeous site with long black hair and russet brown skin that made Bella's heart skip a beat, yet her mind told her that she knew this boy from somewhere.
It took a moment for a name to make its way into her mouth. "Jacob Black?" she said in amusement. "You don't go here."
"Is that the type of welcome I get from an old friend?" he asked pretending to sound hurt.
"I wasn't aware we were friends, just because our dads' drink together most weekends doesn't mean we're close as well." said Bella.
"Maybe if we throw back a few beers ourselves, you'll lighten up a bit." said Jacob striding over to Bella and encasing her in a huge bear hug.
Bella, who was unused to this much human contact, flinched and shoved Jacob off. It never occurred to her that her dream might finally becoming true. "What are you doing here?" she asked sharply.
"Just out killing time, my school's having a late start so I thought I'd pay yours a visit. See what the pale faces were up to." he said smirking.
"Well you're too late, they've all went to class apparently." said Bella as she turned on her heel to walk away.
"So Miss Swan, the straight-A student, is skipping?" Jacob teased.
Bella rolled her eyes in his direction and continued at a faster pace. "Don't be stupid, of course I'm not. Hold me up much longer and I will be, technically."
"How thoughtful, giving me the power to make you late. I shall gladly take that challenge." said Jacob.
Before Bella could react he grabbed her arm and dragged her over to his motorcycle, with her hitting his back in protest. "Let go of me! Let go right now!"
"Stop squirming and don't even think about screaming, I just want to show you some fun, you looked like you needed some." said Jacob releasing her elbow.
Bella rubbed her arm and stared incredulously at Jacob. "How do I know you won't just rat me out to Charlie?" she asked.
"Bells, I'm skipping my own school as well, Billy will have my head if he hears about it through Charlie. Come on, I'm not stupid." said Jacob.
Bella mulled over her options. Either she could take up Jacob's offer and have some fun for once in her life, or she could go to class, like she did every day, and be ignored again. For six whole hours, with a book that she's read over a hundred times for her only company.
"You know what, you've won me over. Let's get out of here. Please." she said swinging her leg over the seat of the motorcycle.
Jacob grinned like the Cheshire Cat as he mounted the bike as well, making sure he didn't squish her. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly; the two laughed as the bike roared to life and they sped off just as the bell rang for classes to begin.
The day seemed too good to be true for Bella. Jacob and her road down to La Push, the reservation that Jacob lived on, both of them hid the bike and snuck off to the muddy beach. They spent the entire morning playing near and in the cold water. Jacob managed to remove Bella's jacket and have her chase him up and down the beach shouting about the cold air making the circulation in her arms slower. By the time the afternoon came both teenagers were exhausted and were lying next to each other in the cold sand next to the waves lapping against the shoreline.
Bella, breathless, looked over at Jacob and said. "Jacob, thank you. This has honestly been the highlight of my life."
"Don't exaggerate Bells." Jacob replied but he smiled at Bella softly. "But if we're being honest here, I'm pretty happy about today as well."
Bella's eyes returned to the cloudy grey sky; she didn't feel the same about them. Instead of oppression they brought a calm, peaceful mood to her mind. "Just think, I could be sitting alone at lunch about now. Watching Jessica suck her boyfriends' soul through his mouth." she said, more to herself than Jacob.
Jacob turned to look at her in interest. His eyes gave the impression that he had never seen something so radiant before in his life. When Bella turned on her side to face him he quickly looked away to hide his blush.
"That was a joke, you know. Meant to make someone laugh." she said smiling.
Jacob grinned at the sky and said. "It was so funny I just forgot how to express it."
Bella hit his shoulder playfully and cautiously leaned her head on him, hoping he wouldn't push her away. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin a perfectly good mood by being too forward with a guy she barely knew. To her relief and surprise, Jacob didn't push her off; in fact he put his arm around her and held her closer to him.
This feels right. Bella thought to herself. She knew at this point she must have been dreaming and began pinching her legs to try and wake up. She made small noises of discomfort as she did so, causing Jacob to raise an eyebrow at her in curiosity.
"Uh Bella, what are you doing?" he asked, forcing himself to not laugh out loud at how cute she looked.
She immediately stopped pinching and looked at him sheepishly. "Nothing." she said, laughing nervously.
"Pinch all you want Bells, I'm not going anywhere." said Jacob.
Jacob sat up and Bella moved to lean her head on her raised knees. She turned her head on its side to stare at Jacob. "Can't blame me for trying." she replied smirking.
"Got jokes now do we? After the day I've just given you?" he said. He pushed her over and moved to lie down on top of her.
Bella shifted uncomfortably under his weight and sat up as best she could, using her arms as support. For a moment, they stayed like this, just staring into each others' eyes. Bella blinking rapidly out of embarrassment, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks.
"You're really beautiful, Bella. I hope you know that."
Bella froze. Did Jacob really just say that? She blinked twice as fast; Jacob sat back in shame, rubbing the back of his neck and saying quickly. "Sorry, did I say something wrong? I just thought it was right you know…what with the setting and all-"
"No it's fine, I-I don't mind." said Bella, trying to hide the trembling in her voice.
"You sure?" he asked, eager to know her answer.
Bella bit her lip. "Yeah, th-thank you. No one's ever told me something like that before." she said smiling awkwardly at him, her lower lip was bright red matching her face.
"Good, I mean uh, that's good, that I could do that. Tell you something no one's ever said before." said Jacob, stumbling over his words.
The sound of Bella's cell phone ringing made both of them jump. She pulled it out of her pocket and groaned as she looked at the I.D picture. "Jessica…great." she muttered.
"Hey is that Blink-182?" said Jacob distracted by the song still playing.
Cutting off the call, Bella looked up and nodded. "Yeah, they became my obsession a few weeks ago. Heard them in the coffee shop and fell in love instantly." she said laughing at a distant memory.
"They're only the best band to ever exist." said Jacob his face filled with boyish admiration.
"At this moment, I have to say, I cannot disagree." Bella replied smiling at his expression.
The phone began ringing again and Jessica's perky face lit up the screen once more. "Looks like she's going to be doing that for a while." said Bella sighing.
"Hey, free concert." said Jacob taking the phone and tossing it aside gently into the sand next to them.
He laid both him and Bella down again and hummed the song. He started to softly sing the words in her ear, pleased with himself when he heard her giggle and start to sing along.
Jessica called twelve times and by then Bella and Jacob were lost in the song, singing a duet to each other. No one else in the world existed to them. Even after Jessica had given up trying to get a hold of Bella the singing didn't stop, neither did their laughter. Just as Bella sang the last chorus of the song, the sun finally decided to pay the beach a visit, shinning brilliantly down on the two teens still laying on the muddy sand.