Love equals Pain

"Will. You. Fucking. Stop. Forgiving. Me?!" Bakura growled, punctuating each word by slamming Ryou against the wall.

"I-I'm sorry-"

"And stop apologizing!" With that final command, Bakura let Ryou slide down the wall onto the floor, and curl up into the fetal position.

"You make me sick. I can't stand to even have to be in the same room as you." This time, he placed emphasis on his words with a few vicious kicks. Ryou flinched each time, but didn't move to protect himself, having learnt that resistance, although what Bakura seemingly demanded, only served to further irk the tomb robber.

Bakura angrily stormed across the room, and left, but not before pitching a (luckily empty) vase at where Ryou was lying. Even this didn't elicit a response.

'I hate him. I hate him so fucking much. He won't strike me back, he won't defend himself, he just curls up and looks at me with those big dopey eyes, as if he's expecting me to suddenly stop and comfort him. He just lies there, taking my blows, absorbing my abuse, and struggling to not try to reassure me. How dare he do that?! I'm the one hurting him, I'm his enemy, and he just stays there, crumpled up and sending out waves of love towards me.

He won't stop it! I've tried everything but begging him to stop loving me. Doesn't he understand what it's like for someone like me to feel loved? He probably does and that's why he continues, because he knows it annoys me, he knows it hurts me, it's like an itch in a place you can't reach. So I try to make him hate me, I hurt him, I endanger his friends, I mock him day and night, but he still forgives me, he still loves me.

No matter what I do I can't exterminate the vague feeling, the unspoken hope that someday everything will be alright and that I'll repent and be like Yugi's yami. HAH! I would have to have gotten stuck with an optimistic hikari who for some irrational reason of his own decides to fall in love with me. I hate him. I hate him so fucking much.' Bakura then fell to repeating those last two phrases continuously, having managed to leave the house and put enough distance between himself and his hikari that he was no longer tempted to strangle Ryou. Not that he hadn't already, it was just that this time he doubted his ability to stop before actually killing Ryou.

Bakura didn't care so much if Ryou stood up for himself or not, although that had been his aim at the start. Now, he was just desperately trying to stop Ryou from caring about him, from being compassionate, kind, forgiving - all those things that were anathema to his nature.

After all, what was the point of being evil and sadistic if people would love you despite it? It wasn't even as if it was those qualities that Ryou admired in him, rather they were the ones that Ryou feared, but did that keep his hikari at arms-length? NO! Ryou just couldn't do the smart thing and stay away from Bakura, like everyone else did. The Millennium Ring might have had something to do with that of course, but even that didn't force Ryou to love Bakura, although it did mean that Bakura was supposed to protect Ryou - and he did. Bakura had made sure that by now he had a monopoly of abuse as far as the beautiful, slightly effete boy was concerned.

Now however...Bakura's eyes narrowed even further as he considered that maybe he should start changing his tactics. The tomb robber was nothing if not adaptable.

'What haven't I tried already? I've pushed him to the verge of dying, time and time again, but now physical violence is losing its impact on him. These days he just curls up and focuses on forgiving me without even acknowledging the pain properly. Emotional abuse, like constantly deriding him, is also becoming less effective now that he's stopped...thinking would be the best way to describe it. He won't bear grudges or remind himself of what I've done, he refuses to be bitter or spiteful...all my efforts are useless. He just keeps forgiving me - which means that I have to come up with something unforgivable. Something to harden him, make him lock me out of his heart, make him stop being such a bloody saint, stop being so pure, so innocent, so -' Bakura abruptly halted in the middle of the street, unaware of the strange looks people were giving him. 'Yes...that would be perfect...or better yet, Kaiba!'

Authors Note: Well, hoped you enjoyed it, and if you like it, I'll continue it. *shrugs* I'll let you get to back to what's important now.