Jaded
By Raquel Debiru
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Email: raqueldebiru@hotmail.com
* * *
I did it to hurt him.
I wanted to see if it was possible to make him feel anything. Jealousy or anger would have been nice. Maybe sadness. I'm not too sure what my ultimate goal was but I wanted to open his eyes. I wanted him to see the double standard he held for our relationship.
Hell, I don't even know how to define our relationship.
I had planned it perfectly. The idea had just come to me, out of nowhere- like the opportunity had presented itself, out of nowhere. It had probably been in the back of my mind, what with the regularity of accidentally running into him and all.
I hadn't expected him to go along with my crazy idea. I thought that he would just look at me, blue eyes filled with intensity, and declare:
"You are my woman, Kagome. I will not allow this. If you kiss me, it will be because we want to, not because you're going to make Inu-kuro mad." I expected for him to be honorable and as blunt as always. I didn't expect him to understand the depth of the game I was about to play.
Instead he raised an eyebrow and stated:
"Do you really want me to die?" He then paused. His gaze was still intense, still just as blue, but thoughtful. "When do you want to do this?"
I did it to hurt him. Selfish. Wrong. Unfair. Petty. But I went through with it anyway.
Inuyasha didn't have to attempt to screw up our relationship. I did it for us.
* * *
"I wouldn't go in there, Inuyasha."
Miroku looked oddly serious. I stood at the mouth of the wolf cave, my nose wrinkled in disgust. Didn't they know how to bathe? I frowned.
"Why not? It's dawn; we need to go. We've stayed here long enough."
"Perhaps you should wait for Kagome-sama out here. She and Kouga are-"
I growled. I didn't want to hear what Kagome and Kouga were doing. They were probably talking about something stupid. I swear, if I hear his name or that stupid Joho's name again, I will kill something nearby.
Not Kagome of course, but Shippo would do in a pinch.
"We don't have time for this," I muttered and stalked into the den. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.
It took me several moments to realize what I was witnessing. That damn wolf had his arms around my Kagome. His claws were on her ass, her thighs pressed to his. He was kissing her mouth, looking as if he was eating her soul.
I could have acted easily if it was only that. I could have killed in him an instant if he was forcing her.
But it wasn't that simple. She was kissing him back. Her arms were around his neck; her hands were in his hair. Her fingers touched his ears and I could smell his desire.
He wanted to mount her. Her scent must have been assaulting his senses and yet all he did was pull her closer. She didn't stop him.
I must have made some sort of sound. A yip, bark, maybe even a growl. It was loud enough to make them stop-for her to turn around and look back at me.
There was no shame in her eyes. No surprise. She didn't blush or even look away from me. The damn wolf pulled his hands away from her ass, but placed them on her hips. He kissed her throat and bit it once.
He was mocking me. I would care later. Later I would attempt to kill him for even daring to touch her in such a way. She was mine. She just didn't understand it yet.
Maybe it was time to explain to her the way that youkai did things. She was nothing but a bitch. Perhaps it was time to teach her the place she truly had as a human miko among youkai. How dare she even be aroused by-
I sniffed the air once. I blinked and then felt very confused. My gaze left hers and went to his. He just nodded and looked away.
Staged.
She had staged this. It was just an act. The damn wolf hadn't aroused her, hadn't made her hot for him. Kagome had pretended; this was on purpose.
Shit. What kind of a game did she want to play?
* * *
"It hurts doesn't it?" He seemed stunned. I really hadn't meant it to get that far out of hand. But once it had started, I wasn't going to stop. I had made up my mind about this. It was time to do something.
"Was that the purpose of your acting?" Expressionless. For a moment he sounded like Sesshoumaru. One of his ears twitched, catching the silence that echoed off of the caves' walls.
"Did it work?"
"Yes."
Bare honesty. I didn't expect that from him.
"I want to ram you into the wall, mount you against it," he continued. "I want to punish you for what you did. It isn't your place to decide to kiss that mangy wolf."
I should have expected that. Oversight on my part.
"Then, I would pup you so you couldn't do anything without my permission. A litter would take your mind away from that." He made a sound of disgust as he glared at Kouga.
"Why don't you?" I taunted. Not too smart, but I wasn't being intelligent to begin with. "Or would your precious Kikyou look down on your for such a primal desire?"
"Keh," he snorted. "You are a stupid bitch-pup, Kagome. It isn't Kikyou that's stopping me from taking blood. It's my humanity. I thought that was something we shared. I was wrong."
He walked out of the cave. Kouga released me but he was still very close.
"Is this what you wanted?" His voice was low and rumbled through me. "Was this what you hoped to accomplish?"
I looked back at him and then shrugged.
"I just wanted a reaction."
"You got one."
"I noticed."
* * *
End
* * *
I did it to hurt him.
I wanted to see if it was possible to make him feel anything. Jealousy or anger would have been nice. Maybe sadness. I'm not too sure what my ultimate goal was but I wanted to open his eyes. I wanted him to see the double standard he held for our relationship.
Hell, I don't even know how to define our relationship.
I had planned it perfectly. The idea had just come to me, out of nowhere- like the opportunity had presented itself, out of nowhere. It had probably been in the back of my mind, what with the regularity of accidentally running into him and all.
I hadn't expected him to go along with my crazy idea. I thought that he would just look at me, blue eyes filled with intensity, and declare:
"You are my woman, Kagome. I will not allow this. If you kiss me, it will be because we want to, not because you're going to make Inu-kuro mad." I expected for him to be honorable and as blunt as always. I didn't expect him to understand the depth of the game I was about to play.
Instead he raised an eyebrow and stated:
"Do you really want me to die?" He then paused. His gaze was still intense, still just as blue, but thoughtful. "When do you want to do this?"
I did it to hurt him. Selfish. Wrong. Unfair. Petty. But I went through with it anyway.
Inuyasha didn't have to attempt to screw up our relationship. I did it for us.
* * *
"I wouldn't go in there, Inuyasha."
Miroku looked oddly serious. I stood at the mouth of the wolf cave, my nose wrinkled in disgust. Didn't they know how to bathe? I frowned.
"Why not? It's dawn; we need to go. We've stayed here long enough."
"Perhaps you should wait for Kagome-sama out here. She and Kouga are-"
I growled. I didn't want to hear what Kagome and Kouga were doing. They were probably talking about something stupid. I swear, if I hear his name or that stupid Joho's name again, I will kill something nearby.
Not Kagome of course, but Shippo would do in a pinch.
"We don't have time for this," I muttered and stalked into the den. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.
It took me several moments to realize what I was witnessing. That damn wolf had his arms around my Kagome. His claws were on her ass, her thighs pressed to his. He was kissing her mouth, looking as if he was eating her soul.
I could have acted easily if it was only that. I could have killed in him an instant if he was forcing her.
But it wasn't that simple. She was kissing him back. Her arms were around his neck; her hands were in his hair. Her fingers touched his ears and I could smell his desire.
He wanted to mount her. Her scent must have been assaulting his senses and yet all he did was pull her closer. She didn't stop him.
I must have made some sort of sound. A yip, bark, maybe even a growl. It was loud enough to make them stop-for her to turn around and look back at me.
There was no shame in her eyes. No surprise. She didn't blush or even look away from me. The damn wolf pulled his hands away from her ass, but placed them on her hips. He kissed her throat and bit it once.
He was mocking me. I would care later. Later I would attempt to kill him for even daring to touch her in such a way. She was mine. She just didn't understand it yet.
Maybe it was time to explain to her the way that youkai did things. She was nothing but a bitch. Perhaps it was time to teach her the place she truly had as a human miko among youkai. How dare she even be aroused by-
I sniffed the air once. I blinked and then felt very confused. My gaze left hers and went to his. He just nodded and looked away.
Staged.
She had staged this. It was just an act. The damn wolf hadn't aroused her, hadn't made her hot for him. Kagome had pretended; this was on purpose.
Shit. What kind of a game did she want to play?
* * *
"It hurts doesn't it?" He seemed stunned. I really hadn't meant it to get that far out of hand. But once it had started, I wasn't going to stop. I had made up my mind about this. It was time to do something.
"Was that the purpose of your acting?" Expressionless. For a moment he sounded like Sesshoumaru. One of his ears twitched, catching the silence that echoed off of the caves' walls.
"Did it work?"
"Yes."
Bare honesty. I didn't expect that from him.
"I want to ram you into the wall, mount you against it," he continued. "I want to punish you for what you did. It isn't your place to decide to kiss that mangy wolf."
I should have expected that. Oversight on my part.
"Then, I would pup you so you couldn't do anything without my permission. A litter would take your mind away from that." He made a sound of disgust as he glared at Kouga.
"Why don't you?" I taunted. Not too smart, but I wasn't being intelligent to begin with. "Or would your precious Kikyou look down on your for such a primal desire?"
"Keh," he snorted. "You are a stupid bitch-pup, Kagome. It isn't Kikyou that's stopping me from taking blood. It's my humanity. I thought that was something we shared. I was wrong."
He walked out of the cave. Kouga released me but he was still very close.
"Is this what you wanted?" His voice was low and rumbled through me. "Was this what you hoped to accomplish?"
I looked back at him and then shrugged.
"I just wanted a reaction."
"You got one."
"I noticed."
* * *
End