Llllama (4-alarm)* fire of Duckburg
*Yeah, I KNOW that's an old joke.
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Boom is putting out another Ducktales book- "Messes become Successes". The first one, "Life is Like a Hurricane" contains mostly the same stories I already bought from Boom. And sometimes bought before THAT from Disney. Deja vu all over again.
And the stuff I HAVEN'T bought already ISN'T DUCKTALES!
My sister was giving this speech on the great Triangle Shirtwaist Fire which happened a hundred years ago...
In a old rundown part of Duckburg is an old rundown factory owned by FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, which means the place is a firetrap like you would NOT believe. So, you should NOT be surprised that the place caught fire. Especially not after I tell you the place is no longer making a profit, Flintheart owns the land and the building is VERY well insured.
It wasn't long until the heroes of Duckburg arrived. First, the fire dogs (Dalmatians, mostly. Tradition.) came in fire truck # 101. Then, Gizmoduck and Duckblur arrived, followed closely by Launchpad in his plane.
Duckblur slowed down Time in the area of the fire. Luckily, it was a localized fire so she could do that without making Time go wonky. She slowed down Time for herself so she seemed to move at super speed and rescued people. Not being invulnerable, she had to be careful. She could burn or choke, just like the fire dogs could.
Giz in his armor couldn't be burned…but he could be cooked in his own juice if he wasn't careful. So he flew in and out of the flames on his jet pack as fast as he could, carrying as many people as he could manage each time. Actually, Giz was strong enough to carry more, he couldn't lest he drop them due to the fact they somehow got scared (not like I BLAME them) and could not help squirming.
Launchpad towed a large piece of canvas behide his plane, kept up by large helium balloons in each of the far corners of the canvas. He caught people in the canvas and lowered them to the ground. Or flew them to a nearby building where they could enter thur a window or terrace and WALK down to the ground.
Launchpad steamed, and not just from the heat of the blaze. Launchpad knew that this was one of Flinty's factories and the fact that Flinty was going to make money off of this fire annoyed Launchpad no end. Especially since it might be arson and there were plenty of PEOPLE in the building.
()() Flinty couldn't wait until the building was empty for the day?()() Launchpad wondered.
()() The insurance adjusters would get suspicious that it happened so conveniently. Not like they shouldn't smell a rat anyway...()()
Launchpad sighed and reminded himself the fire COULD be an accident, could be the result of shameless neglect and not deliberate intent. And Launchpad aimed his water cannon at the fire. Seeing this, Giz aimed his water cannons.
"Hey, Giz- where are you getting the WATER from? You can't have water tanks in that suit like my plane has!" Launchpad asked.
"New gizmo I'm testing! Dr Strangeduck invented it! It turns air into water!" Giz replied. (1)
But the new device didn't work all that well. The water it shot seemed to "remember" it was supposed to be air, it turned to steam MUCH quicker than normal, hardly doing the fire any harm at all.
"Hey Giz- where are you getting the AIR from?" Launchpad asked.
"All around me!" Giz snapped.
"What if you "stole" the air away from the FIRE?" Launchpad asked.
"Fire can't burn without AIR!" Giz said, seeing what Launchpad was driving at.
So Giz adjusted the gizmo so it took air from a small area. So it took "air" from only where it was pointed towards. And Giz aimed it at the fire. The air sucker vacuumed up air from part of the fire. To be precise, it extracted OXYGEN (and hydrogen) from the air it was pointed towards. No fire can burn without OXYGEN. The part of the fire it was aimed at died. Giz had to shoot water from his water cannon to do this, but the air sucker was doing more good than Giz's water cannon was.
Then Giz had the bright idea of aiming his water cannon towards where the fire was heading, "cutting it off at the pass". THIS worked better. By aiming his water where the fire had not gotten to yet, he prevented the water from turning to steam too quickly. Giz also kept the fire from spreading.
What was I doing while all this was going on? What I could. I left our kids (Launchpad's and mine) with Mrs. Beakly. I had watched over the Trins and Webby while on adventures, so she owed me one or two. I was evaluating workers from the area, people who worked for Mr. McDuck at nearby factories. Actually, I let as many people as were in the area as I could fit into my plane, regardless of whether they worked for Mr. McDee, Flinty or were just poor snooks in the wrong place at the wrong time. (2)
I picked up a few truckers who had to abandon their trucks, the road up ahead was blocked by the fire.
"Good thing our cargo is nothing but salt slag- going to the Duckburg dump!" One trucker said.
"Salt slag?" I asked.
"Salt and mud and dirt from the salt mines! Nothing but junk!" The other said.
"Then you don't mind if Duckblur uses it?" I asked.
"It's no good for anything!" A third said.
"It can't burn, can it?" I asked.
"Heck, no! Salt puts out fire! So does mud!" A fourth said.
I had noticed that Duckblur had been hovering around on her helmet copter, looking frustrated. She looked as if she couldn't figure out how to make herself useful.
"YO, Duckblur!" I screamed.
"WHAT? I got people out of the fire, but I can't figure out how to fight the fire! I can't handle WATER with my powers!" Duckblur said.
'What about salt and mud?" I asked.
"That I can handle." Duckblur said.
"There are four truckloads of salt slag stuck in traffic over there. Could you dump their contents over the fire?" I asked.
"THAT will put out the fire!" Duckblur said happily."
Duckblur slowed down Time and gathered salt slag. First, she drove the trucks as close to the fire as she dared. (3) Then she took as much salt slag as she could carry and flew on her helmet copter at "superspeed" over the fire. Luckily the salt slag was in large plastic bags, so Duckblur could lift and carry a lot. Duckblur dumped the slat slag over parts of the fire. Then she ran back and got MORE bags of salt slag and dumped that over the fire. Wherever she dumped it, the fire sizzled then died. Fire can't burn salt or mud and salt and mud cuts the air from a fire.
Between the water, the air sucker and the salt slag, it wasn't long until the fire was put out. After that, Mr. McDuck arrived. Strangely, he looked remarkably pleased with himself.
"Mr. McD! Flinty's going to make a fortune off of this fire! He'll collect insurance and sell the property at a nice profit, I bet!" Launchpad lamented.
"No, he won't, Launchpad. You see, there's a reason this fire- which was certainly arson- happened NOW. Flinty must of heard rumors I was planning to buy the insurance company he insures his businesses with. The insurance company that rubber stamps payments for overly convient "" accidents" that happen to Flintheart's businesses. Mr. McDuck began.
"Flintheart doesn't know I ALREADY bought it! They'll be looking into this fire VERY carefully! I have no doubt they'll find proof of arson! Flinty won't collect insurance AND he won't be able to sell the place. At least, not while the investigation is going on. And I plan on making the investigation last until Flinty sells the land to ME" Mr. McDuck crowed.
The End.
(1)Idea stolen from (Luke Cage reference?)Lucius Best , Frozene the black superhero in "The Incredibles ". HIM, I liked.
(2) I doubt I'm brave enough to get close enough to a fire to fight it. I think I could manage evulating people from the area.
(3) The truckers had been trying to get AWAY from the fire.